/ Best shouts of abuse by drivers

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existing debt - on 20 Jan 2013
Today I was a 'lance Armstrong druggie'

I don't get many shouts of abuse, just the occasional verbal splurt. One of my favourites was ' you'll get yours'......classic!! I really wanted to catch that numbty up and ask what exactly he meant

Any other gems? Given or received

birdie num num - on 20 Jan 2013
In reply to existing debt:
I like to drive right close up behind them, parp my horn, then give em the finger, shouting 'Swivel Wiggo' while the Num Num kids chuck Mc Donalds cartons at them.
Tony the Blade on 20 Jan 2013
In reply to existing debt:

May favourite by far:

I'd just dodged a near miss and cycled off at speed, a mini-van pulled up alongside at the next lights and the passenger shouted... Oi, mate, who the f*ck do you think you are? Eddie Marx?

I assume that he meant eddy merckx, still makes me chuckle.
BazVee - on 20 Jan 2013
In reply to birdie num num:

It was you that I sprayed with my energy drink as you overtook then hope it took ages to get off the car seats and the kids clothes :-)
existing debt - on 20 Jan 2013
In reply to BazVee: A pal of mine was riding in France when the passenger of a passing car gave him a swipe with a tennis racket.... The chap thought it was hilarious...what he didn't notice was the gendarme behind them, not sure what happened to the idiot but he got driven away with the gendarme

Boogs on 20 Jan 2013
In reply to existing debt:

I was riding a BMX down an A road a few years ago , when a bloke in a van stuck traffic shouted 'Oi .. what yer riding a kids a bike for ya numpty .. ? '

I hastily replied ' cuz yer misses is too fat ! '

did'nt hang around for a reply .

I know its terrible at my age , or any age come to that . 80(
Enty - on 20 Jan 2013
In reply to existing debt:

20 years ago on the Lancashire moors on my MTB on a mid-week afternoon. Farmer shouts "get some f*cking wark dun you lazy cnut"

E
dissonance - on 20 Jan 2013
In reply to existing debt:

sadly nothing really beyond "get off the road" or "pay some road tax".
Chris the Tall - on 20 Jan 2013
In reply to existing debt:
I will admit to shouting "you could do with more epo" to a guy in full livestrong kit as I overtook him on a hill.

In my defence, I was also cycling. And we were 80 miles into a 100 mile race. And he was looking knackered!
coinneach - on 20 Jan 2013
In reply to Chris the Tall:

I had an air horn blown in my ear from the passenger seat in a white transit as it overtook me on a country road.

Sadly for the transit owner, he had the company details stencilled on his back door and he was local.

I'd love to have seen his face next morning when he saw his four flat tyres.
biped - on 20 Jan 2013
In reply to existing debt:

Recently, a guy in a Toyota Aygo (£20 RFL) blocked me in between parked cars. I caught him up and asked 'What was that all about?' He shouted 'Pay some f*ckin' road tax.' I repled, 'I do, and more than 10 times what you pay.' He looked like the thinking was going to have a nosebleed.
LastBoyScout on 20 Jan 2013
In reply to coinneach:
> (In reply to Chris the Tall)
>
> I had an air horn blown in my ear from the passenger seat in a white transit as it overtook me on a country road.
>
> Sadly for the transit owner, he had the company details stencilled on his back door and he was local.
>
> I'd love to have seen his face next morning when he saw his four flat tyres.

Like :-)
BikeClimbWalk - on 20 Jan 2013
In reply to existing debt: Riding home from work a few years ago, a teenager at a bus stop shouted "check out Linford Christie" Almost stopped to pull him up on a couple of major flaws in his logic!
Tim Chappell - on 20 Jan 2013
In reply to existing debt:


Well, here's one you don't hear in Britain: Once in Canada I was cycling home and this coach load went past with cries of "Get a job".

This was when I was a Visiting Professor at UBC. The people on the coach were school kids.
Ramblin dave - on 20 Jan 2013
In reply to existing debt:
Mark Steele on the subject:
http://www.independent.co.uk/voices/commentators/mark-steel/mark-steel-i-can-see-why-drivers-shout-a...

> But this time the driver put his window down and made a fascinating s statement. He said "I pay road tax. You pay F*CK OFF."
>
> So presumably, what was going through his mind was "On the one hand here is an ideal scenario for me to make my point about the iniquities of our road-funding policy, whereby this cyclist is deemed exempt from contributing, despite the fact he uses the road as much as I do, albeit on two wheels as opposed to my 186. On the other hand I can't WAIT to tell him to f*ck off. OH NO, now I've merged the two thoughts together and it's come out all grammatically incoherent."
Boogs on 20 Jan 2013
In reply to Ramblin dave:
> (In reply to existing debt)
> Mark Steele on the subject:
> http://www.independent.co.uk/voices/commentators/mark-steel/mark-steel-i-can-see-why-drivers-shout-a...
>
> [...]

Thats on the money & very funny .
Chris the Tall - on 20 Jan 2013
In reply to Ramblin dave:
Cheers for posting that, brilliant

I would say it's brightened up my day, but I've been out on my bike all day, so in an unfeashibly good mood. Perhaps he has a point about cyclists being smug :)
steev on 20 Jan 2013
In reply to existing debt:

Once had half a bottle of coke dumped on me from a Transit window. Caught the van up in traffic and wrote 'paedophile' in the dirt on the back of the van.
Sebastian Fontleroy - on 20 Jan 2013
In reply to Tony the Blade:
> (In reply to existing debt)
>
> May favourite by far:
>
> I'd just dodged a near miss and cycled off at speed, a mini-van pulled up alongside at the next lights and the passenger shouted... Oi, mate, who the f*ck do you think you are? Eddie Marx?
>
> I assume that he meant eddy merckx, still makes me chuckle.


They were probably Cornish.

AlisonSmiles - on 21 Jan 2013
In reply to existing debt:

Nice Arse.
birdie num num - on 21 Jan 2013
In reply to existing debt:
The last time I swerved in front of a cyclist to turn left Mrs Num Num managed to flick her docker at him through the passenger window and do the 'up yours' sign
diddler - on 21 Jan 2013
In reply to existing debt:

Everyday I cycle to work I go past a jobless guy who spends his morning with a hand written sign for the rush hour traffic. Todays was sort of cycling related.

It read: Armstrong, Epitome of America.

Made me chuckle.
LastBoyScout on 21 Jan 2013
In reply to steev:
>
> Once had half a bottle of coke dumped on me from a Transit window. Caught the van up in traffic and wrote 'paedophile' in the dirt on the back of the van.

There's a MuckyD's drive-through up the road from where I used to live - I've had drinks and food wrappers thrown at me either on the bike or just walking up to the pub. Chav cretins!
In reply to AlisonSmiles:
> (In reply to existing debt)
>
> Nice Arse.

I've had that one too!

Or maybe it was "Nice, arse!"
digby - on 21 Jan 2013
In reply to existing debt:

The inexplicable, cretinous, "oi mate, yer back wheel's following yer front wheel".

I feel sorry for them. Their brain cells must get lonely.

Oh wait no I don't.
paul-1970 - on 21 Jan 2013
In reply to existing debt:
Not a cycling story, but when I was about 12 years old, I was out with my brother (year younger) and my Dad first thing one Saturday morning , walking toward Bolton town centre. We were walking past a road junction when a van went past. The guy in the passenger-seat wound the window down and yelled out "WANKERS!" in our direction. Bear in mind this was in the direction of 11 and 12 year old kids out with their soberly dressed father! I don't think my dad could think of what to say, I was rather speechless myself. And my younger brother was just about ready to kill himself from laughing at the sheer bizarrre-ness and 'from nowhere' rudeness!
Jamming Dodger on 21 Jan 2013
In reply to existing debt: Ive learnt over the years to curb my bike mounted tourettes (to some extent- sometimes I just cant help it) but on one occasion a bloke in a van blatantly saw me coming and pulled out of a side street anyway. When I caught up with him at the red light ten meters away from the junction I thanked him for his consideration and got the reply "you've got brakes havent you?". I had a choice of being speechless or ripping his door off and kicking his teeth in. I kept my mouth shut. Scrappy Doo didnt come to the fore that day.
I have more examples of muppetry but i'd only end up agitated. <twitch>
Im getting better at brushing these incidents off.
DerwentDiluted - on 21 Jan 2013
In reply to existing debt:

Me and my sister, while our ages were in single digits, used to find shouting 'keep going barelegs' at cyclists incredibly funny. I prefer not to think of it as abuse, more gentle encouragement.
Clarence - on 21 Jan 2013
In reply to existing debt:

This morning walking into work, a driver shouts "get off the f*cking road you rambling cnut". Quoth I "I'm on a footpath, the road is on the other side of the field".

A few second later he managed to find the ditch OK.
Stone Idol - on 21 Jan 2013
In reply to existing debt: No one has ever shouted at me - I feel quite left out!
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freerangecat - on 21 Jan 2013
In reply to Stone Idol:
> (In reply to existing debt) No one has ever shouted at me - I feel quite left out!

I was shouted at by a couple of lads in a car while cycling last year but didn't hear what they said - I feel slightly left out too :-)
itsThere on 21 Jan 2013
In reply to existing debt: i got abuse from a group of road bikers going past me up a hill. "GO GO GO Johnny"
toad - on 21 Jan 2013
In reply to existing debt: no one has ever shouted at me, but I did get egged once. Don't think it was a cyclist thing though - the dog walker in front got one as well.
Bob_the_Builder - on 21 Jan 2013
I once got shouted at by a group of neds in a car, but when I caught up to them and calmly asked what they had said, they started a very polite conversation that ended up causing a massive traffic jam since they were in the middle of the road at the time. Not entirely sure what was going on there...
In reply to Tim Chappell:
> (In reply to existing debt)
>
>
> Well, here's one you don't hear in Britain: Once in Canada I was cycling home and this coach load went past with cries of "Get a job".
>
> This was when I was a Visiting Professor at UBC. The people on the coach were school kids.

They had a point.
Chris Harris - on 21 Jan 2013
In reply to steev:
> (In reply to existing debt)
>
> Once had half a bottle of coke dumped on me from a Transit window. Caught the van up in traffic and wrote 'paedophile' in the dirt on the back of the van.

I got carved up by a bus, catching up with him at the lights & pulling his engine emergency cutout seemed the thing to do.


Tim Chappell - on 21 Jan 2013
In reply to AlisonSmiles:
> (In reply to existing debt)
>
> Nice Arse.


That's odd, no one's ever said that to me ;-)
machars on 21 Jan 2013
In reply to existing debt: Know someone who got the classic 'get a motor ya baw bag' shouted at him. Think he nearly fell off laughing!
Tim Chappell - on 21 Jan 2013
In reply to Submit to Gravity:
> (In reply to Tim Chappell)
> [...]
>
> They had a point.

No, the point was that they didn't have a point, because I was on C$105,000 p.a. and they were on zilch.
Cappa - on 21 Jan 2013
In reply to existing debt:

I've had 'your not going to make it' shouted at me whilst climbing a particularily steep hill. Nearly fell off laughing.
dale1968 - on 21 Jan 2013
In reply to existing debt: got shouted at to say I was doing over forty MPH(don't know if they were impressed or worried)
stevesmith - on 21 Jan 2013
Back in the 60s we thought it was funny to shout "Get off and milk it!" to passing cyclists.
Fredt on 21 Jan 2013
In reply to existing debt:

As I neared the top of Lodge Lane, which climbs up from Rivelin, a guy in a white van was coming the other way. As I approached, (very slowly), he stopped.

He wound down his window.

He leaned out...

... and applauded, shouting 'Good effort mate!"
mikehike on 21 Jan 2013
In reply to existing debt:

I recently had a Ferrari slow alongside, drop a cog and floor it leaving me in a puff of rubber dust. Wanker
Marek - on 21 Jan 2013
In reply to Fredt:
>
> ... and applauded, shouting 'Good effort mate!"

Trawling back through my dodgy memory, I think on balance I have had more encouraging shouts while battling up some steep hill than abuse. On the other hand, I have then felt obliged to hold up my side of the 'conversation' which is not what I needed at that point!
biped - on 21 Jan 2013
In reply to mikehike:
> (In reply to existing debt)
>
> I recently had a Ferrari slow alongside, drop a cog and floor it leaving me in a puff of rubber dust. Wanker

We had 15 of them do that in a tunnel in the Alps while I was trying to ascertain that my partner who'd crashed was ok and another cyclist who'd come to our aid and also crashed was picking himself up off the road. In retrospect, awesome. At the time, 15 wankers.

OP:

'Get a job.' shouted at me by someone in a car that was worth no more than a quarter of my bike;

'Nice legs.' from a female bin-woman;

'Nice arse.' from a bloke in a Ford Mustang;

'POOOOOFFFFF!' from someone passing me when I was pushing up a hill.

RCJ - on 18 Feb 2013
In reply to existing debt:

Last year, got hurled abuse from a small van, regards the lines of

"Get your fat arse moving you tax dodging scum"

Note 1: Im far from fat, infact i make anorexics cry...

Note 2: As someone else mentioned, don't hurl abuse if your vehicle is sign written... funnily enough for a local gym. A simple phone call and 3months free membership rather than me slate their company name. Idiots
Minneconjou Sioux - on 18 Feb 2013
In reply to RCJ:
> (In reply to existing debt)
>
> Last year, got hurled abuse from a small van, regards the lines of
>
> "Get your fat arse moving you tax dodging scum"
>
> Note 1: Im far from fat, infact i make anorexics cry...
>
> Note 2: As someone else mentioned, don't hurl abuse if your vehicle is sign written... funnily enough for a local gym. A simple phone call and 3months free membership rather than me slate their company name. Idiots

But you are a tax dodger?
ThunderCat - on 18 Feb 2013
In reply to Minneconjou Sioux:

I did a glasgow to inverness ride and the cycle path takes you parallel to the A9 (I think?) over the drumochter pass

I was struggling.

A car went past and someone yelled something but I couldn't make out what is was. I've always wondered what they said.

RCJ - on 18 Feb 2013
In reply to Minneconjou Sioux:

Haha, i am at the minute, My van is off the road ;)
SethChili - on 18 Feb 2013
In reply to existing debt: The usual scenario around these parts of suburban nottingham is for a the driver of a 'chavmobile' (dirty white paintwork , LED front lights , tinted windows etc .) to be too busy drinking red bull and texting to notice that you have indicated to turn . They then hit the horn and yell '' Wot choo doin ? '' [translated : What You Doing ?] before swerving dangerously towards you/old ladies/pushchairs/pedestrians/lamp posts .
If the situation is safe enough I yell back ''Riding a bike - duh ! '' mostly I just get outa there fast though .
Babika - on 18 Feb 2013
In reply to paul-1970:
The guy in the passenger-seat wound the window down and yelled out "WANKERS!" in our direction.


I always remember the car driver who did the wankers wrist shake to me.

As a very obvious girl this was a bit strange...

So I looked down in astonishment at my groin and lifted my hands in surprise....
syv_k - on 18 Feb 2013
In reply to Babika:

I had a "whoooor luv I can see your crutch!"
I am female and was wearing a pair of shorts. They were pleated and might have looked a bit like a skirt from a distance but still.. there was really nothing untoward to see, and the term is "crotch" in British English anyway.
Jim Nevill - on 18 Feb 2013
In reply to existing debt: Long ago I was on the A40 in Town, and inadvertently halted half way through traffic lights as the car in front left a large gap in front of it. Oh well, I made a sign of apology to all. Even so, this 'slightly' annoyed the car driver whom I was blocking, as he was on green. So when he finally got past me, he paused, wound down his window and yelled at the top of his voice 'You F***ing c**t' which I considered a little harsh... and I did wonder what thought his girlfriend in the passenger seat.
Orgsm on 18 Feb 2013
In reply to existing debt:

I too feel left out, with memorable abuse to recall.

I did once get "nice cock" from a female motorist when waiting at lights

Me "sorry about that , these Lycra shorts are somewhat thin"

Her "I prefer leather shorts..." As she drove off
Ricky Martin - on 18 Feb 2013
In reply to existing debt: The best I had was

OH F#@K OFF!

From a fellow cyclist. A rather red, stout gentleman clad in team sky kit (See "The Rules" post)on his shiny racing bike. As I over took him on a hill he was struggling with. I was in my non cycling top and baggies on my rather battered hybrid commuter. He then got off and pushed bless him.

Indecently itís the same thing I said to the Banana that over took me in a 8-10K running race. Cíest la vie.
Loughan - on 18 Feb 2013
In reply to existing debt: Just riding along, van pulls alongside and starts waving frantically at me so i stop, window comes down, "you're wheels are going round!"

Van takes off tooting horn and wild uncontrolable laughter from within.
Better than being knocked off i suppose.
Castleman - on 18 Feb 2013
In reply to existing debt:

This thread has made me laugh.

Whilst always really angry-making at the time, afterwards they are nearly always funny.

I've had a few cheers up hills but I think my favourite was the guy that cut me up to overtake me, so I chased him to the next lights, knocked on the half open window and asked why he'd done it, he just shut the window and as the lights turned green sped off. I promptly caught him at the next lights and knocked on the window again and as the lights turned off he sped off again. This continued through three more sets of lights before I got bored and raced him to the last set and as I got through waving as he got caught by the amber. Mwahaha.
Flinticus - on 18 Feb 2013
In reply to existing debt: Nothing they said, but while waiting at lights on my wife's bike (mine getting repaired),the passenger in a white van looked at me with raised eyebrows. I said 'Yeah I know. It's my wife's.'They laughed with me.
Goucho on 18 Feb 2013
In reply to existing debt: One of the funniest things I've heard was actually by a cyclist, replying to abuse by a driver, whilst going up Honister Pass...

Van Driver (he was from Ambleside - it said so on his van) as he overtook the cyclist "Why don't you get some legs that work properly you f*cking tortoise!"

Cyclist "They normally do, but I've just spent the last 2 hours screwing your wife"
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John1923 - on 18 Feb 2013
In reply to steev:

> Once had half a bottle of coke dumped on me from a Transit window. Caught the van up in traffic and wrote 'paedophile' in the dirt on the back of the van.

You could have called the police, and got him a caution for assault.
Dave Reeve - on 18 Feb 2013
In reply to existing debt: We used to yell "get off and milk it" from the school bus when it overtook cyclists...

This topic has been archived, and won't accept reply postings.