In reply to Marc C:
> (In reply to Darren Jackson)
>
> Why not retire climbs too - as a mark of respect?
Now you're just being silly?...
On a more serious note, why not use the Dewey Decimal Classification System to assign unique IDs to footballers? Not only will they be able to transfer their shirt number easily between clubs - no more Dressing Room tantrums over who's wearing 7 this season - , but, they can also have their ID barcoded on to themselves as a tattoo? This barcode can then be flashed on the scoreboard when substitutions are required, read by a barcode reader, and relayed to a hitman, hidden high in the stands toting a tranquliser gun. He can then shoot the player concerned with a dart and, voila!, no more substitution tantrums either!