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Pete W style I need help thread

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 Rubbishy 27 Feb 2007
I am going out of my mind with worry, this is something that is really keeping me awake at night and I need to find answers and quick if I am to maintain my mental health.

I really need to know, why under the Wildlife and Countryside Act I am prevented from keeping a squirrel as a pet.

It is simply not fair. Imagine the fun I could have larking around in the park with a squizzer on bit of string.

I would call him Colin.

an anyone help me?
 jayjackson 27 Feb 2007
In reply to John Rushby:

Is "Colin" a HHG2G ref.?

Also, is there any reason why CRoW should allow you to have a squirrel as a pet?
 SFM 27 Feb 2007
In reply to John Rushby:

There is an easy way round....you can have one as a lover.

 Tiggs 27 Feb 2007
In reply to John Rushby: They are vermin and they bite....

I know from experience, when we firt moved in we befriended the squirrels in the garden and they would come to the patio doors to be fed and then one bit 'him indoors' on the finger.

They tease the dog too, although the tree surgeons have pollarded their home, so for the time being the dog's kingdom is squirrel free.
Clauso 27 Feb 2007
In reply to John Rushby:

Dunno about keeping squirrels as pets, but I once knew some blokes who used to enjoy going for picnics in Hyde Park on sunny Sundays. Nothing unusual in that.

They also enjoyed puffing on a few joints along with their picnic... Again, hardly revolutionary.

They took things further by taking along bunches of grapes, that they'd previously injected with vodka, and then proceeded to feed them to the park's resident squirrel population.

The combination of stoners and drunk squirrels was a potent one, with the former incapacitated with laughter as intoxicated tree-rats fell out of branches, ran into tree trunks, fell over their own tails etc. etc..... It takes all sorts, I suppose?
 Tiggs 27 Feb 2007
In reply to Clauso:
> (In reply to John Rushby)
>
> They took things further by taking along bunches of grapes, that they'd previously injected with vodka, and then proceeded to feed them to the park's resident squirrel population.
>
What a brilliant idea!

<goes to find syringe for when the squirrels return>

Lauren_S 27 Feb 2007
In reply to John Rushby: Well Pete, as you know the squirrel is not a native of this country but in fact hails from the deepest darkest jungles of the Congo where it survives on a diet of penguines amd minkie whales. So by dragging it round the park on a piece of string you are infringing the squirrel act of 1754 sub C/16004 which specifically states that all squirrels should have free and open access to their staple diet' and I am willing to bet that the minkie population of your local park has dwindled somewhat lately ?

You wouldn't want to oppress a squirrel would you ?
Removed User 27 Feb 2007
In reply to Clauso:
> (In reply to John Rushby)
> They took things further by taking along bunches of grapes, that they'd previously injected with vodka, and then proceeded to feed them to the park's resident squirrel population.

Oh you just know that somebodys going to try this and report back.
Quite possibly me!
 Glyn Jones 27 Feb 2007
In reply to Lauren_S: It's not minkie - it's monkey as in Monkey Whales - typically found in the upper levels of the arbor.

<<wishes people could spell propa like!>>
Lauren_S 27 Feb 2007
In reply to Glyn Jones: >it's monkey as in Monkey Whales - typically found in the upper levels of the arbor.


Are they plankton feeders ?
 Glyn Jones 27 Feb 2007
In reply to Lauren_S: Yes, I believe you are right but as the are not rich they tend to buy only Tesco's own brand.
Lauren_S 27 Feb 2007
In reply to Glyn Jones: Netto do a very good Krill Burger, perhaps someone should mention this when next in deepest darkest Congo.
 lummox 27 Feb 2007
In reply to John Rushby: squirrels are soft. You should go the whole hog and get a wolverine. You could give it a dead hard collar with metal studs on an all.
Chris Tan Ver. XLIX SP2 27 Feb 2007
In reply to John Rushby:

Go on! You know you want to! http://members.tripod.com/rc-anodizing/PEZT/animalsCC/tapir.htm

Only $850 each.
OP Rubbishy 27 Feb 2007
In reply to lummox:

I tried a wolverine but it got so nasty it ate itself.


What no one knows is that I am about to take ove the world with my army of angry badgers. I will storm the Houses of Parliament with my monochromatic servants bring death and destruction. We will reign supreme dispensing summary justice to anyone who crosses us.

Our badger kingdom will last a thousand years.

Be afraid, be very afraid.
 Glyn Jones 27 Feb 2007
In reply to John Rushby: Hmmmmmmmm, you could be right

http://www.angelmapper.com/2k4/img/BadgerBadger1.jpg
 Stu Tyrrell 27 Feb 2007
In reply to John Rushby:You just might GO NUTS!
 callum 27 Feb 2007
In reply to John Rushby: I dont think there is anything stopping you keeping a grey squirrel as a pet. I dont think they are covered under the WCA 1981. Red squirrels are though so if you get a red then paint it grey (I recommend Hammerite Smooth or grey primer) and it'll be fine. Also they eat nuts so keep yours hidden (although your court order already proscribes that I understand).
 Glyn Jones 27 Feb 2007
In reply to Stu Tyrrell: but they look like fun guys to hang around with

http://www.geocities.com/nickedemis/smoke.html
Chris Tan Ver. XLIX SP2 27 Feb 2007
In reply to Wingnut:

http://www.backwoodsbound.com/zsquir.html

And it's nearly lunchtime
 Glyn Jones 27 Feb 2007
In reply to All: you should read this before thinking about squirrels!

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1060580/posts
Lauren_S 27 Feb 2007
In reply to John Rushby: I take it all back, oppress away

I've just found out how much fun you can have with a squirrel and a piece of string !

http://www.eecs.harvard.edu/~yaz/en/squirrel_fishing.html
 Al Evans 27 Feb 2007
In reply to John Rushby: I know where you are coming from, they confiscated my pet sperm whale, it wasn't the whale that was their problem but the fact that I was feeding giant squid to it.
 SFM 27 Feb 2007
In reply to John Rushby:

Not just in the park they are great company...

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b30/Sollus8/Weird%20Stuff/squirrel_guinne...

 Anni 27 Feb 2007
In reply to John Rushby:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/2415095.stm

Be sure your pet doesnt turn on you like this one did on a whole community. And kep it away from any radioactive experiements you mgiht have going on. I can see the James Herbert book now : 'The squirrels' Giant savage man eating squirrels terrorising the residents of Hackney....not necessarily a bad thing perhaps
 Flying Monkey 27 Feb 2007
In reply to SFM:
Except when they're pissed they're an absolute nightmare to get home, they insist on picking up nuts the whole way back, Guinness seems to be the worst offender.
Pete W 27 Feb 2007
In reply to Clauso:

LOL - thanks for that; not th doen thing to spit coffee all over 7/11s computer screens...odd form of ice-breaking, strangers banging one between the shoulderblades so that you can breath again.

Pete W (the surreal one)

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