UKC

Rab Carrington, well known bearded person, BMC celebrity and ex sock manufacturer took time off from the normal activities associated with a man of his advanced years, (queueing outside the post office, dribbling and dominoes) to attempt his first 8a sport route.
Our On the spot reporter has filed the following and I felt it only fair that I share it with you lot

After a brief warm up our intrepid hero was itching to go, and with no more ado set off on his first redpoint.
"I have never seen him look stronger" veteran climber and all round good egg Al Austin, told reporters. "He climbed the lower section of the route like it was HVS, just powered through the crux and stepped easily up to begin the final wall. It was at this point" says Austin "that his strength and abilility was overtaken my his memory loss brought about by old age. The hitherto flawless ascent rapidly turned into an etch-a-sketch, I'll-find-my-way-up-this-wall-somehow-or-other fiasco that could only end one way".
"In my view" says Austin "he was robbed of the tick. This was probably the best performance on rock that I have ever seen for someone in their twilight years"
Unfortunately, later redpoint attempts failed to replicate the power, efficiency and memory of the first, with the climber failing to reach the crux, let alone power gracefully through it.
Austin was sanguine about his partners performance "If you ask me, its in the bag for the next visit"
Austin - who also tried the route - treated onlookers to a flawless exhibition of stick clipping and tight rope technique that at one point looked as though it might lead to him actually making a move. Next time, he has vowed to come armed with binoculars and take up peregrine spotting.
Sheffield resident and very thin person Stephen McClure commented that it may be necessary to attatch saucepans to the bolts on the crux section of his new route to prevent Mr Carrington from appropriating said route before it had been completed.
Furthermore, a witness to the days events, Mr Philip Smith was heard to say " has anyone seen my boots ?"
Stand by for further reports ........

In reply to Rock Hardman: Go to Sutty ! theres still hope

In reply to Rock Hardman: Bolts, on grit!

In reply to Rock Hardman:

That is not very good, blaming tubby for the failure when if Cab Rorringtan had trimmed his beard to save just a tad of weight he would have got up the route.

Captain Birdseye Austin was probably exhausted after laughing at the antics of aforementioned has-been struggling on an 8a, so consequently that, and the copious number of cream cakes and pies he has consumed, and using clipsticks, a bit of gear he has never really bcome au fait with led to his failure, and Binningtons not letting the rope out in case he had to retrieve the gear.

Is that not more like the facts sir?

In reply to sutty: I fear you may be confusing the jumper wearing pie muncher Alan Austin with the Armani clad sports ferret Al Austin

In reply to David Peters:

Armani clad, do you mean he goes around wearing aftershave and a smile now? No wonder his daughter wears that world weary smile at the curry meets.

In reply to sutty: Again I fear that you are not quite taking the point ther are two !!! Al Austins ... unbelieveable I know but true

One the old time jumper wearing yorkshire pioneer and the other a much younger (cough cough) and svelter sports climbing whippet !

In reply to David Peters:

I understand now, a whippet called Alan Austin that uses a clipstick, or tries to. Better put it on a lead, it seems useless on rock.

In reply to Rock Hardman:

Had a pint with Phil last night and failed to mention these antics.

I must confess since the onset of fatherhood I've started becoming quite interested in sport climbing however I'm not sure I fancy the drive to Yorkshire every time I want to do a route.

Phil was however telling me there's somewhere nearby called the Snore which is meant to be good. Might have to check it out.

J

In reply to Rock Hardman: Has Rab sent that mutha yet ?

In reply to Ropeboy: Johnny !!!! good to see you vering towards the 'dark side' give me a call and I'll show you 'the ropes' after all us parents should stick together

In reply to Rock Hardman: Does anyone know if Rab has has dispatched his project yet ? I'm not sure which aspect is the more shocking, the thought of climbing 8a at age 60 ro the thought of someone at the BMC climbing anything at all (well I suppose it is only an Honorary role at the BMC )

In reply to David Peters: would you like a punch up?

In reply to martin k: aye, there's more of us than him!!

In reply to graeme alderson: Well if you fight like you climb I need not be too worried. Perhaps you could ask Rab for a few pointers

In reply to David Peters: Ask Leo Houlding about my climbing!!

And then ask him about my head butting!!

In reply to David Peters:

No he goes back on it on Thursday I believe

This thread was started in the DOWN THE PUB forum and has now been moved.
Please could you try and post in the correct forum, it makes life easier for both users and moderators.

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