UKC

Following my recent research on how to die, Ive been looking up BAE systems, experts on the subject.


This is the most bizzare thing!
The product catalogue, complete with MKV (multiple kill vehicles) and Type 45 Destroyer! On the net, plain as day! Order a catalogue if you want!

http://www.baesystems.com/ProductsServices/index.htm



Mat

In reply to matnoo:

Do they accept paypal?

In reply to matnoo:

Login as O.B.Ladin@hideoutsforus.com

Get one of these End Of Line, Clearance Item:

http://www.baesystems.com/ProductsServices/cs_and_s_mass_tornado_f3.html

In reply to grumsta:

I don't know but don't worry, the ECGD will sort that for you.

In reply to Philip:

"The F3 has all weather and day/night capability"

well that's reassuring!

In reply to matnoo:

I quite fancy the Precision Guided Mortar Munition:

"The precision guided mortar munition (PGMM) guidance section provides accuracy for the 120mm mortar to destroy targets beyond the range of direct fire weapons.

PGMM uses a form of the Distributed Aperture Semi-Active Laser Seeker (DASALS™). DASALS™ detects and tracks the target sending the seeker information through its processor to the guidance and control subsystem to ensure a direct hit on the target."

For further information please contact:
Kim Smith Unberhagen
Tel: +1 603-***-**** Fax: +1 603-***-****
***.****@baesystems.com

(Just so no-one can say I was putting contact details onto a public part of the internet, oh no!).

Or perhaps I'd like the:

Advanced Precision Kill Weapon System (APKWS)

Now that's good...make sure you get the word "kill" in there...then it doesn't matter that the acronym doesn't roll off the tongue. "Kill" in the name will get them salivating as much as a sexy acronym ever would have.

In reply to matnoo:

Very nice, but no prices and they don't seem to take Paypal


C

In reply to Rob Naylor: Shall dozens of us all write to him asking for details and postage costs!

If we all chipped in we might be able to get a Multiple Kill Vehicle between us.

Tbh I doubt their criteria is that strict for who they sell to anyway really.

Actually their criteria is very strict:

1. Well off
2. no, no other criteria

It's just not very ethical.

In reply to matnoo:

Am I the only one whose eye was drawn to the various AN/AL and AN/US items?

Sorry, already got me coat..

In reply to Masood:

erm...no.

How about one of these:

http://www.baesystems.com/ProductsServices/landa_hagg_products_cv90herita.h...

I love this bit: "CV9040 .. is designed to defeat other armoured vehicles and ground troops"

Goody! Do they design one to be defeated by other armoured vehicles and ground troops???

In reply to matnoo:

It's the Fexmobile!

http://www.baesystems.com/ProductsServices/l_and_a_ls_pinzgauer.html

i think that the 'MAMBA' looks ideal for trips to tesco's.

"Mamba is a 4x4 armoured, mine-protected vehicle with a Unimog drive line. It can carry a crew of up to 12 and offers high levels of ballistic and mine protection. Mamba is in service with the South African Army and several other forces."

sounds like thieving scum won't be able to get in easily, and there won't be many arguments of parking spaces

In reply to matnoo: Seems reasonable to me.

Here is our catalogue

http://www.selex-comms.com/en/?cat=3

and the company I used to work for

http://www.gefanucembedded.com/products/

In reply to Ridge:


Presumably they go to the poorer countries.

In reply to matnoo: do you think they take paypal?

In reply to matnoo: I love the Corporate Responsibility section- they are an ethical company, apparently...

In reply to grumsta:

Erm, not exactly..

http://www.baesystems.com/ProductsServices/bae_prod_fv430.html

45 years after entering service it gets a new engine...

In reply to Jon Dittman:

was'nt that part of Marconi at one time?

In reply to Ridge:

if thay haven't all been sold to private collectors!

In reply to tomentalist: and you would have to have it in black of course.

In reply to Richard Bradley: i think it'd have to have some 'bling' wheels.

those big 24 inch ones.

In reply to Anonymous:
BAE purchased the defense arm of Marconi (the profitable bit) which was origionally part of GEC.

In reply to matnoo:

Have they got anything that will eradicate cat problems? That mortar looks the business, I woder if you can hook it up to a night vision scope and a PS3 I could do the wee shites from the comfort of my couch.


Whoomff......sayonara kitty.......

In reply to matnoo:

all it needs is one click ordering...

In reply to MG:

It's tempting, very tempting.

We can ask if they need an "End User Certificate" before they'll deliver to us, too.

In reply to Masood:

Oh, my god, someone with a Muslim-sounding name looking at the catalogue!

Dum-dum bullets ready lads...away you go....

In reply to Rob Naylor:

Have you read Mark Thomas's book at all?

In reply to matnoo: the 'semi-autonomous systems' sound a touch alarming

That's Christmas sorted, then. Thanks for the link!

In reply to Removed User:

Yes...OTT a bit in places.

Liked the bit where he has the arms supplier talking to the Amnesty International group at the school and he ends up trying to sell them on the idea of a career in arms supply!

In reply to Tim Chappell:

No doubt there'll be an article on the catalogue with a Christmas present slant in one of the papers in the next week or so.

Amazing how often UKC threads seem to be just ahead of the game on stuff like that....I sometimes think that bored journos must trawl this site looking for stuff to latch onto.

You mark my words....

In reply to Reach>Talent:
yes, but I wssn't quite clear - I meant the Selex connection - as Marconi was linked with PRR at one time

In reply to Rob Naylor:

Oh aye, not exactly heavy weight but he hit's the spot a few times. The credit guarantee scheme piece was an eye opener. Didn't realise we also paid for the bullets aimed at our troops.

Nuns buying stun battons to flog to Zimbabwe, beats a cake stall.....

In reply to Rob Naylor:


Now that would be a challnge for 2008. What UKC threads can sucker lazy journos in?

In reply to matnoo:

After all the powerfull sounding acronyms we come to

STEALTHY WALLPAPER!


and I like the word "Ruggedized". Would they ruggedize ME?

In reply to matnoo: i did my work experience in school building an 155mm lightweight howitzer and working on the terrier engineers vehicle.

In reply to lummox:

Nice to see that the 105mm Phosphorous round has a 'low environmental impact' too...

http://www.baesystems.com/ProductsServices/l_and_a_ls_105mm_ammo.html

In reply to Philip:

Unfortunately, if they don't sell em, someone else will !
The world we live in I suppose

In reply to matnoo:

now this i like

http://www.baesystems.com/ProductsServices/protector_unmanned_survace_veh.h...

or this

http://www.baesystems.com/ProductsServices/l_and_a_gs_black_knight.html

wonder if i can carry the remote on my bicycle, be really handy having that trundling behind no more worries about cars cutting me up.