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To follow on from gritstoner's suggestion: Adam Ondra facts...

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gritstoner:
Chuck Norris can speak braille, but Adam Ondra can climb it.

NJBrown:
God wanted 10 days to create the world. Ondra gave him 6

Ramblin Dave:
Adam Ondra doesn't tick routes, routes tick Adam Ondra
In reply to A Longleat Boulderer:

When Spider Man met Adam Ondra, he decided to hang up his web and call it a day.

P.S. I hear when Adam Ondra bolts his projects, he doesn't use a drill he just uses blue tac.
 Toerag 14 Apr 2011
In reply to A Longleat Boulderer: Adam Ondra doesn't go to the mountain, the mountain goes to him.
gritstoner 14 Apr 2011
In reply to A Longleat Boulderer:

Nice one, Longleat Boulderer.
____________


Adam Ondra can squeeze lime juice out of limestone.

Adam Ondra does not sleep. He waits.

Spiderman owns a pair of Adam Ondra pyjamas.

Adam Ondra can tie his shoes with his feet.

 Quarryboy 14 Apr 2011
In reply to A Longleat Boulderer:

To most mortals gravity pulls 9.81 m/s but Adam Ondra only feels half of that on a bad day.
 Andy Farnell 14 Apr 2011
In reply to A Longleat Boulderer: Adam Ondra doesn't pull on holds, holds pull on him.

Andy F
skullgrid 14 Apr 2011
Grades don't mean anything until roundhouse kicked by Adam Ondra.

Adam Ondra's hair can sense danger.

Adam Ondra doesn't get wet, he onsights 8c+.

Am I doing it right?
 scooott 14 Apr 2011
In reply to skullgrid:

Adam Ondra once tried to fail on a route below f8c+, but he found it to be impossible.

If at first you don't succeed; you are not Adam Ondra.

Adam Ondra is bi-winning.

richyfenn 14 Apr 2011
In reply to scooott:

Adam Ondra makes a mole hill out of a mountain.
In reply to A Longleat Boulderer:

That noise wasn’t Adam Ondra power screaming, it was the rock.

Adam Ondra pauses between redpoints to let the rock recover.
 scooott 14 Apr 2011
In reply to richyfenn:

Adam Ondra's training board consists of 50p pieces and matchsticks glued to a 45% overhang.

Adam Ondra defines difficulty by how many times he can lap something.
 PeteH 14 Apr 2011
Adam Ondra once spent a week climbing only south facing crags, but he had to stop because it was messing with the Earth's axis.
 PeteH 14 Apr 2011
Wait, I can do better:
Adam Ondra used to have a training board with real granite pinches and slopers, but they kept breaking.
 JimR 15 Apr 2011
In reply to PeteH:

Andra Ondra is a black hole.


He is gravity, holds teeter on the verge of his event horizon and disappear torn apart in his inexorable progress
In reply to A Longleat Boulderer:

Adam Ondra wears a rope and harness simply so they can find him again.

'Multi pitch' to Adam Ondra is a type of roof design.

For breakfast before an onsight, Adam Ondra eats a bag of gravel just to make things 'sporting'.
gritstoner 15 Apr 2011
In reply to A Longleat Boulderer:


Adam Ondra can delete the Recycling Bin.

Adam Ondra underclings slopers.

Adam Ondra stares down guidebooks until all the beta legs it.

Adam Ondra one-hand campused Led Zeppelin's Stairway to Heaven.
 Tris.w 15 Apr 2011
In reply to Unknown Climber:


'
That noise wasn’t Adam Ondra power screaming, it was the rock.

Adam Ondra pauses between redpoints to let the rock recover. '

-Best yet!


Adam Ondra does not climb rocks, he pulls the world down
 Toerag 15 Apr 2011
In reply to A Longleat Boulderer: Jerry Moffat chants 'I'm Adam Ondra, I'm the strongest climber in the world' when he's trying hard.
 mux 15 Apr 2011
In reply to A Longleat Boulderer: I heard that he only uses chalk so Shama knows where he has been!
 Ramblin dave 15 Apr 2011
In reply to A Longleat Boulderer:
People ask what grit's done on Adam Ondra.
 mux 15 Apr 2011
In reply to A Longleat Boulderer: Adam Considers Franco his peer
richyfenn 15 Apr 2011
In reply to A Longleat Boulderer:

Climbers fear injury, injury fears' Ondra.
FiendishMcButton 15 Apr 2011
In reply to A Longleat Boulderer:

Adam Ondra onsights forked lightening

The rock self harms waiting for Ondra's next touch.
 Tom Last 15 Apr 2011
In reply to A Longleat Boulderer:

Ondra's done everything on grit, but he forgot.

Ondra does not need video evidence.
 Red Rover 15 Apr 2011
In reply to A Longleat Boulderer:

Grit gets Ondra rash
 scooott 15 Apr 2011
In reply to Red Rover:

Adam Ondra practices inverted campussing.

Adam Ondra's hangboard is mounted at 45 degrees, in a sauna, and he only uses it with atlas stones shackled to his feet.
PhilipN 15 Apr 2011
Ondra does static double dynos...
 wushu 15 Apr 2011
In reply to A Longleat Boulderer:

Adam Ondra once told Sharma to buy a beastmaker.

Adam Ondra's power screams make chimpanzee's pregnant.

Adam Ondra killed Gaskins because he was weak.

 scooott 15 Apr 2011
In reply to scooott:

Adam Ondra's pinch can re-shape titanium.

There's only one person who can physically verify all of Ondra's hardest ascents, and his first name is Chuck.

Adam Ondra hires a team of 15 people to work shifts, round the clock, to keep his 8a.nu scorecard up to date.





In reply to A Longleat Boulderer: Adam Ondra has no door handles in his house. He crimps the doors open.
 Andy Farnell 15 Apr 2011
In reply to A Longleat Boulderer: If Adam Ondra could drive then The Stig would be out of a job.

Andy F
 Tophe 16 Apr 2011
When faced with a blank wall Adam Ondra power grunts and punches his own holds into the wall, one guy tryed telling him that he was cheating and damaging the rock, needless to say he's now in a wheelchair.
 Tdubs 16 Apr 2011
In reply to A Longleat Boulderer:
Adam Ondras really good at rock climbing
 JimR 16 Apr 2011
In reply to Tdubs:

Ondra stars in Jack Osborne's new pantomine


"Jack and Adam Ondra"
 jackappleby 16 Apr 2011
In reply to A Longleat Boulderer: Ondra can squeeze sand into rock.

The Parthian Shot flake broke because Ondra looked at it.
In reply to A Longleat Boulderer: Adam ondra sleeps with a pillow under his rope
 Pete Ford 16 Apr 2011
In reply to A Longleat Boulderer:

Whoops, I had to google Adam Ondra!!!

Pete


 wushu 16 Apr 2011
In reply to A Longleat Boulderer:

Adam Ondra thinks Ben Moon is a Scottish mountain.

Adam Ondra once climbed the Eiger North Face in REVERSE.

Evolve is named after Adam Ondra.

 fireman_al 16 Apr 2011
In reply to Tdubs:
> (In reply to A Longleat Boulderer)
> Adam Ondras really good at rock climbing

I actually woke the dog up laughing at that!
Romeo and Juliet (II, ii, 1-2) 16 Apr 2011
In reply to mux:
> (In reply to A Longleat Boulderer) I heard that he only uses chalk so Shama knows where he has been!

Ondra doesn't use chalk. That white powder is the rock, pulverised by his grip.
 Toerag 17 Apr 2011
In reply to wushu:
> (In reply to A Longleat Boulderer)
>
> Adam Ondra thinks Ben Moon is a Scottish mountain.

Classic!
 iwan.wills 18 Apr 2011
In reply to A Longleat Boulderer:
Death once looked Adam Ondra in the face.
 Diggler 21 Apr 2011
In reply to A Longleat Boulderer:

When Adam Ondra ejaculates he leaves an exit wound!!!
edpratt 21 Apr 2011
In reply to Diggler:

Some say that Adam Ondra doesn't need a hammer for his pegs, he just power screams at them and that he once climbed 9b SO fast that his climbing partner Wally has been hiding ever since

 Quarryboy 25 Apr 2011
In reply to A Longleat Boulderer:

Adam Ondra played with a girls hair once... she died.
 Sam Marland 25 Apr 2011
In reply to A Longleat Boulderer: Ondra onsighted Es Pontas, he just didn't think it would be fair to tell Sharma...
xyz 26 Apr 2011
In reply to A Longleat Boulderer:

The Standard Model of particle physics is thrown into disarray as Adam Ondra discovers a new particle smaller than the Quarks that he can pull on
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