/ Agags Groove 1st Belay Ledge brown stuff

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scottie390 - on 01 Apr 2012
To whoever decided to take a shit at the first belay on Agags Groove, Buachaille Etive Mor.


YOU are a horrible, clatty bastard and a disgrace to the climbing community
Rog Wilko on 01 Apr 2012
In reply to scottie390: There's no arguing with that.
Jamie B - on 01 Apr 2012
In reply to scottie390:

Impressed that anyone could do the deed on that small a ledge, assuming that it's the guidebook first stance you're meaning?

But agreed, pretty manky. Couldnt they have seen what was brewing at the start of the route?
PAJames - on 01 Apr 2012
In reply to scottie390: Yep, it was minging to find that, I was there Friday 30th. Surely they could have gone somewhere discreet in the gully at the bottom or at least lobbed it off, if they had to do it in the first place. Fairly gross!
wilkie14c - on 01 Apr 2012
In reply to bouldery bits:
Or even better - TAKE IT WITH YOU. FFS, it can't hurt you to pick it up in a placcy bag like we do for dog turds can it? In places where it can't be buried its the only real answer. I hope the perp shits his own liver out next time he squats the dirty tw*t
mgco3 - on 01 Apr 2012
In reply to scottie390: I sincerely hope that the culprit is suffering horrendous midge bites at the back of his bollocks!!!! It would serve him right for dropping his kecks on hallowed ground...
The Bad Cough - on 01 Apr 2012
In reply to mgco3:
> (In reply to scottie390) I sincerely hope that the culprit is suffering horrendous midge bites at the back of his bollocks!!!! It would serve him right for dropping his kecks on hallowed ground...

Or the fairer sex, but then no midge bites on the bollocks?
gd303uk - on 01 Apr 2012
In reply to scottie390: i reckon it was an abseilers un-leashed staffie that did it ;)
but yeh, pretty fookin grose.
Milesy - on 01 Apr 2012
In reply to gd303uk:

Surely an abseiling dry tooler''s staffie?
gd303uk - on 01 Apr 2012
In reply to Milesy:
> (In reply to gd303uk)
>
> Surely an abseiling dry tooler''s staffie?
lol,
i think we have our culprit a top-roping dry toolers unleashed staffie, only they could have desecrated the stance in such a way surely.

Bulls Crack - on 02 Apr 2012
In reply to mgco3:
> (In reply to scottie390) I sincerely hope that the culprit is suffering horrendous midge bites at the back of his bollocks!!!! It would serve him right for dropping his kecks on hallowed ground...

Unlikely in MArch/April sadly
Fultonius - on 02 Apr 2012
In reply to scottie390: Now, I totally agree that it's rather unpleasant...but, well, sometimes it's just not possible to do anything about it!

I distinctly remember one horrific incident where I was on the 5th or 6th belay on The Pause. The stance that is mid slab and shared with one of the other route (Long reach or something). I had some rapid onset digestive malfunction and had to empty on the slab. Now, there's no way I could have collected that smeary mess, so, there was pretty much nothing I could do.

The worst part, oh, my, the worst part, was the retching and heaving from the guy moving up the other route to the shared belay....


Foul, but sometimes unavoidable!
Dave 88 - on 02 Apr 2012
In reply to Fultonius:

It was at the first belay! If they had an E.S.S (emergency shit situation) then just lower off and get themselves sorted!
scotlass - on 02 Apr 2012

> I distinctly remember one horrific incident where I was on the 5th or 6th belay on The Pause. The stance that is mid slab and shared with one of the other route (Long reach or something). I had some rapid onset digestive malfunction and had to empty on the slab. Now, there's no way I could have collected that smeary mess, so, there was pretty much nothing I could do.

> Foul, but sometimes unavoidable!

Whist you might have been caught out (still avoidable with a bit of forward thinking and a few doggy bags), This was at the 1st belay of a relatively short route and surely the cretin would have noticed something brewing before he/she left the ground or held it for the minute or two it would have taken to abseil off.

and to the clatty owner of the fowl pile on agags, that was absolutely inexcusable you horrible creature!
Fultonius - on 02 Apr 2012
In reply to Dave 88: True, very true!
Fiend - on 02 Apr 2012
Sounds good fun. Maybe there is a point to doing multi-pitch mountain rambles after all.
Eric9Points - on 02 Apr 2012
In reply to Fultonius:

Maybe they should have put it in a poly bag and hung it up like a lot of dog owners do?
Michael Hood - on 02 Apr 2012
In reply to Fultonius: You should have dumped in your chalk bag and carried it off/up with you :-(
jacobfinn on 02 Apr 2012
Maybe they thought it was a shit route? Also was the dump taken on lead or as a second? We need details.
Milesy - on 02 Apr 2012
Agag's Moove-ment ?
Niall - on 02 Apr 2012
In reply to jacobfinn:
> Maybe they thought it was a shit route? Also was the dump taken on lead or as a second? We need details.

Onshite.

(Sorry Alan & Mick).
MonkeyPuzzle - on 02 Apr 2012
In reply to Niall:

No, but will claim the flush, using beta.
Niall - on 02 Apr 2012
In reply to MonkeyPuzzle:

(Turtle's) Headpoint?
MonkeyPuzzle - on 02 Apr 2012
In reply to Niall:

You mean working it first on a ploprope?
LastBoyScout on 02 Apr 2012
In reply to scottie390:

At least you didn't end up wearing it.

I'd still like to have a word with whoever it was that got caught short higher up a crag in Llanberis pass a few years ago - being rained on by someone else's urine is most unpleasant, not to mention having to put your hands on wet holds and knowing full well WHY they were wet.

Nasty, horrible thing that you are!
Niall - on 02 Apr 2012
In reply to MonkeyPuzzle:

On a sport route it would be Brownpointing.
Dave 88 - on 02 Apr 2012
In reply to scottie390:

I wonder if they logged the route?
Hat Dude on 02 Apr 2012
In reply to scottie390:

Be worth treading extra delicately on the route now
Fultonius - on 02 Apr 2012
In reply to Michael Hood: It was difficult enough trying to belay my mate, who was about 20m runout from his last piece, without trying to remove a chalkbag and aim!

I did sacrifice a shitty old fleece to cover the mess, token effort really...

The thread has really dropped to new lows...
MonkeyPuzzle - on 02 Apr 2012
In reply to Niall:

Is there usually much smearing to climb Agag's Groove?
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Niall - on 02 Apr 2012
In reply to MonkeyPuzzle:

There is now!

Ahah-hah, I thankyew.
scottie390 - on 02 Apr 2012
In reply to Fultonius: are you for real? are you the actual person who did this?
davedmc - on 02 Apr 2012
In reply to scottie390:

Maybe it was Bonnington. He has been known to dump in that area.
Hay - on 02 Apr 2012
In reply to scottie390:
Clatty bastard indeed.

Same thing on the first stance of Ardverikie Wall two years ago. Some clat had befouled it and then put a wee stone on top to hide it/make it look like a cake. All this about 25m off the ground.

We had to bail due to rain and found the miscreant's equally shitey fugs jammed in the heather about 10m below the offering.

Here's hoping that their next shite is a hedgehog, eh?
gd303uk - on 02 Apr 2012
In reply to davedmc: there is a funny story of Bonnigton taking a dump en route, it was cold he pulled his kit( onsey) down squoze one out and climbed on only realising as the day went on that he had landed in his sleeve the initial cold had frozen the turd and he was thawing it out, lurvely, i cant find the story or rem' where i heard it.
wilkie14c - on 02 Apr 2012
In reply to gd303uk:
I was fishing with a mate on the River Derwent <Derby> years ago and we used to wear pile 'onesy' type thermal suits in winter. He went for a dump and complained bitterly about the stink all afternoon and it got so bad he returned to the scene of the crime to bury his poo to stop the stink drifting over to where he was fishing. Rather worried that there wasn't any poo where he'd thought he'd left it, the realisation hit home, undoing his onesy from the chest zip and gathering it all betwix his legs in order to squat down, he'd shat in his own hood, zipped up again after and carried on oblivious to the offensive hitchhiker that was being kept near to body temprature in his hood. No wonder he couldn'd escape the stick, it were only 8 inches from his nose the whole time. I just wished it had started raining...
I thought I'd heard everything but obviously not - 'Clatty' is my new word of the week!
Fultonius - on 02 Apr 2012
In reply to scottie390: no, can you read?
Kevster - on 03 Apr 2012
In reply to Fultonius:

I'm crying!
gd303uk - on 03 Apr 2012
In reply to blanchie14c: pmsl, great story :)if only it would have rained.
where other countries can have several words for snow, the brits have a lot more words for poop.

after an extensive search i found the Bonington story, very sorry to high jack this thread but it is kind of on topic, anyways check out the vid at about 6 minutes in http://www.climber.co.uk/categories/articleitem.asp?item=310
dek - on 03 Apr 2012
In reply to scottie390:
Is there a 'Tough Brown' variation on Agags?
chrisprescott - on 03 Apr 2012
In reply to blanchie14c: I'm pretty sure i've read a similar story about Brian Blessed when he was climbing Everest. Went out for a dump in a storm and got back into the tent only to realise some time later that the wind and picked it up and deposited it in his hood!
wilkie14c - on 03 Apr 2012
In reply to chrisprescott:
At least his would have been frozen. I'm amazed he didn't notice though, Brians turds must be the size of a swiss roll.
Wouldn't it have been great if when he found it he exclaimed "Gordon's Alive!"
Hat Dude on 03 Apr 2012
In reply to Hay:
> (In reply to scottie390)
> Clatty bastard indeed.
>
> Some clat had befouled it and then put a wee stone on top to hide it

Leave no turd unstoned!
barrymiller - on 06 Apr 2012
Obviously the prospect of climbing the second pitch was too much for the clarty bastard
Mark Phillips - on 06 Apr 2012
In reply to scottie390: I agree it is a pretty unsociable event to come across. It could,however, have been a middle aged or elderly climber with irritable bowel syndrome or diverticulitis (spelling?). How firm was the stool, bagging might not have been an option?
Hannes on 06 Apr 2012
In reply to scottie390: You grab the pitchforks and I'll grab the torches. The question will always be, "Why?"
don macb on 07 Apr 2012
In reply to Mark Phillips:

we found it on monday 26th (a very hot day too, just to make things worse), at which point it seemed very fresh... firm is not the word, so perhaps the donor wasn't too well, but i would have thought they could have taken care of the urge prior to setting off up the first pitch: somewhere in the gully just a few feet below and it could have at least been concealed with nobody being any the wiser.

my second was getting spooked (she has a thing about multi pitch) and being confronted with an aromatic belay ledge wasn't what she was needing. i was glad that the second pitch was so easy and brief so i could get her away from the offending heap without delay.

poor show. nonetheless- isn't the p3 move left onto the nose and up the hidden groove just magnificent for the grade?! gorgeous sunset on the summit and moonlit descent to boot...
arron on 09 Apr 2012 - host81-154-47-111.range81-154.btcentralplus.com
In reply to don macb: yeah we found it too on whatever day it was. I just remember it quite a hot day with a cool breeze. I was leading so saw it first. Im not ussualy squirmish but this really freaked me out. the thing stared at me as i reached over to build the anchor. holding my breath from the stench, i brought my partner up. i decided to warn him .
I led the second pitch too so was glad to get out of there so quickly , leaving my second completely alone.
Eventualy we topped out off the final pitch, both in silence ,both wordless. Coming off via curved ridge we passed under the climb, briefly turning to look up.
Back at the Clachaig Inn,we quietly sipped our pints, occassionaly glancing at the four laugthing Germans who had been ahead of us on Agags Groove.
mick.h on 12 Apr 2012
In reply to Fultonius:

Unavoidable, but also natural, organic and bio-degradable. It will be gone in weeks, unlike a plastic bottle which will be there pretty much forever.

So why the fuss? I have crapped on the cioch, layed a cable on Napes Needle and also shat on the top of the Rivelin Needle. If you don't like it then feel free to take it home, there's plenty more where that came from.
colinakmc - on 13 Apr 2012
In reply to Michael Hood: Chalk bag! on Agag's! Nearly as bad as the s**t....
don macb on 13 Apr 2012
In reply to mick.h:

bio-degradable for sure and it's certainly true that the call of nature is unavoidable at times: multi day wild camping demands that one craps somewhere, sooner or later.

i'm not sure what point you're making with your mention of using plastic bottles (surely that's a big wall affair and the idea in that scenario is to take the bottle away with you, not leave it lying around) and- fwiw- i think crapping in the wilderness is in fact ok as long as you spare other people having to come across it and make sure you're well away from water sources and so on. needs must... but what about common courtesy, eh?

this is on the first belay of a four pitch, low grade, easily accessible route (it's not as if someone had been stuck there with rumbling guts while their leader had a 6 hour epic leading the next pitch). i don't think that's unavoidable at all and it's a simple matter of showing consideration for your fellow climbers. like i said in a previous comment: if it was really necessary, then finding a more discreet spot with less traffic (say just a few feet below in the gully somewhere, prior to starting the first pitch) would seem reasonable to me, although others would probably find this to be unacceptable too.

you crap on top of needles? that just seems deliberately unpleasant, inconsiderate and vaguely fetishistic. or is this perhaps just a digestive system side effect of the arthrotec that you mentioned in another thread lately? hmmmm...
JohnnyW - on 13 Apr 2012
In reply to don macb:

I agree with you. Yeah, sounds like some kind of perverse climber's scent marking on high points, like a fox does on divots. Speaking as a man with ulcerative colitis, (and therefore very challenged when it comes to bowel control!), I can say I am usually a lot more considerate and relatively more 'planned' than that as a consequence. Odd if you ask me.......
alooker - on 19 Apr 2012
In reply to scottie390: surely this should be in lost & found? Will return for postage etc...
JM - on 19 Apr 2012
In reply to LastBoyScout: Which route were you on in the Pass when you got pissed on?
Johntherock - on 19 Apr 2012
Worst I ever happened upon was years ago on a cold October day taking a novice up the Milestone Direct. A team was just above me and one of them had clearly had an excessively heavy night and a big breakfast - heard the retch, looked up and saw what had copiously occurred and the rest of that pitch involved every incut being filled with spew. I think I was right as to the cause since I certainly didn't catch anything as a consequence of the experience. I'm sure it's a great route in normal conditions!

Cheers - John
tom_in_edinburgh - on 19 Apr 2012
In reply to mick.h:
> (In reply to Fultonius)

> So why the fuss? I have crapped on the cioch, layed a cable on Napes Needle and also shat on the top of the Rivelin Needle.

You better watch or Bear Gryllis will rip off your new extreme sport in the next "Master of Movement" video.
JSTaylor - on 19 Apr 2012
In reply to arron:
> Back at the Clachaig Inn,we quietly sipped our pints, occassionaly glancing at the four laugthing Germans who had been ahead of us on Agags Groove.

Wait a minute... You are not suggesting THEY are behind (snigger) this dreadful doing? Is this sort of thing not covered by the Geneva Convention? Can you imagine the reaction is we Brits started dumping all over the Alps...

60survivor - on 19 Apr 2012
In reply to scottie390: Maybe he was Irish, maybe it was his turd route of the day??
Alan M - on 19 Apr 2012
In reply to scottie390:
> To whoever decided to take a shit at the first belay on Agags Groove, Buachaille Etive Mor.
>
>
> YOU are a horrible, clatty bastard and a disgrace to the climbing community

Filthy buggers. honestly if you pack it in you pack it out.

On a side note if you ever want to experience pure filth get yourself over to Dover Island in Canada those blokes have hiding shit in a crack, under a rock, behind a bush, smeared down the route down to an art. Filthy Filthy gets!!!
Bob Hassall - on 20 Apr 2012
In reply to scottie390:
Being an old git I recall a dialogue in Crags I think, maybe C&R, about some guys climbing in Cheddar when somebody high on the crag couldn't wait.... and decided to curl one from high on the crag.

Luckily the guy lower down (I think he was on Coronation St) was wearing a helmet! But I think the splatter and odour probably stayed with him for some time, prompting the letter to the editor (no UKC forum then!)

I think SW expert Nipper Harrison was accused, but I can't remember if anything was ever proved or admitted. I think what had caused most offence was the laughter on realising the direct (s)hit!

An apology and a beer later might have been better.
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mick.h on 20 Apr 2012
In reply to JSTaylor:

Aha....maybe the filthy huns, having been beaten in two world wars and one world cup, thought that they would wreak their revenge by dropping their bombs in the great scottish outdoors?

Someone should point out to them that it was ENGLAND who kicked their teutonic butts in 1966 (though the jocks did allegedly play a limited role in the other two conflicts).

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