/ Worst films ever

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TheDrunkenBakers - on 28 Dec 2012
Having a lazy morning in bed, I found Swinging With The Finkels on Sky Movies and curious, my wife and I decided to watch it.

All I can say is that I dont think I have ever watched such a plss poor film. An hour of my life that I will never, ever get back.

I wonder, has anyone seen a film of train crash proportions? If not, i claim my 5.00. Actually, make that 10 as 5 isnt recompense enough for enduring this rot.
ThunderCat - on 28 Dec 2012
In reply to TheDrunkenBakers:

On the advice of a previous thread on this topic, I went and looked up "Samurai Cop" on youtube.

Sweet Jesus....So cringingly bad, it's actually good.
johnj on 28 Dec 2012 - 86.112.78.158 whois?
In reply to TheDrunkenBakers:

I remember this one as been pretty shocking

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0098320/
Wonko The Sane - on 28 Dec 2012
In reply to TheDrunkenBakers: Shoot 'em up. Clive Owen is in it, which is a bad sign. It's so terrible that I have so far only watched about 30 minutes of it, and that is spread out over the 5 or 6 times it's been aired.
estivoautumnal - on 28 Dec 2012
In reply to TheDrunkenBakers:

Lord of the Rings.
homing-penguin - on 28 Dec 2012
In reply to Wonko The Sane: Shoot em up was awesome!! It's one massive long gun battle with puns.

Notting Hill is probably the worst film I've ever seen.

Actually no Harry Potter.
Wonko The Sane - on 28 Dec 2012
In reply to homing-penguin:
> (In reply to Wonko The Sane) Shoot em up was awesome!! It's one massive long gun battle with puns.
>
> The script was fine! The problem was, they used British Acting Robot Mk1

homing-penguin - on 28 Dec 2012
In reply to Wonko The Sane: lol
Jon Stewart - on 28 Dec 2012
In reply to TheDrunkenBakers:

Clown-rape comedy anyone?

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120467/

Spectacularly misjudged.
colina - on 28 Dec 2012
In reply to TheDrunkenBakers:
deep blue sea,blue water and snakes on a plane get my vote.
Pursued by a bear - on 28 Dec 2012
In reply to TheDrunkenBakers: The bar on this is set quite high. Any film wishing to take the crown has to be worse than Eraserhead.

T.
1poundSOCKS - on 28 Dec 2012
In reply to Pursued by a bear: I love that film, even had a friend in the US buy it from a US only website, and post it to me, just so I could get the widescreen version. I love pretty much all David Lynch films though.
1poundSOCKS - on 28 Dec 2012
In reply to TheDrunkenBakers: Not sure about worst ever, but worst I've seen for a good while...

http://uk.imdb.com/title/tt1703148/
yeti on 28 Dec 2012
In reply to TheDrunkenBakers:

Knight and day's pretty crap and i only saw part of it

starship troopers is one of the worst i've watched to the end

cloverfield, disliked the cast so much i was cheering the monster



TheDrunkenBakers - on 28 Dec 2012
In reply to Pursued by a bear: What! Eraserhead is a great film although I agree its a bit of love or hate.

Better watched whilst heavily stoned.
Wonko The Sane - on 28 Dec 2012
In reply to yeti:
> (In reply to TheDrunkenBakers)
>
> starship troopers is one of the worst i've watched to the end
>

Oh come on. This film is classic entertainment! Guns, monsters, a cute redhead and a tongue stuck very firmly in cheek.

> cloverfield, disliked the cast so much i was cheering the monster

I couldn't get past 10 minutes of this dross.

idiotproof (Buxton MC) - on 28 Dec 2012
In reply to yeti:

I think this has be seperated into:

A) Worst Film watched

and

B)Worst Film I paid to watch!

A = One with Kate Hudson and someone stealing her BF. Probably caused by watching it on about 10 buses in South America, at least 7 of them in Spanish

B = Just Married 4 couples in cinema. 2 left within 10mins, 1 guy sat on the floor and looked at teh back ofthe cinema while his GF coniunued to watch and I spent the time trying to tie my shoeaces without using my hands
yeti on 28 Dec 2012
In reply to Wonko The Sane:

i accept starship poopers could have been a good shoot em up, but it wants to be futuristic but fails to use the many more efficient weapons that we have now
Wonko The Sane - on 28 Dec 2012
In reply to yeti:
> (In reply to Wonko The Sane)
>
> i accept starship poopers could have been a good shoot em up, but it wants to be futuristic but fails to use the many more efficient weapons that we have now

Sorry, but in a film where there are mutant spiders pooping out space fireballs, I just can't bring myself to fault them for not using better weapons!
The entire point of the battles was marines pointlessly throwing themselves into the line of fire. Last one shot is a wuss type mentality.
Eric9Points - on 28 Dec 2012
yeti on 28 Dec 2012
In reply to Wonko The Sane:

aye, i can hardly complain, it's set in a barking mad universe so nothing should look out of place

yeti on 28 Dec 2012
In reply to TheDrunkenBakers:

also ... most films with 4 or more oscars

may i offer "driving miss daisy"

starts, goes nowhere, ends
terrarob on 28 Dec 2012
In reply to TheDrunkenBakers: Nichiolas Cage's version of the Wickerman! Part of my life i will never get back!
Pursued by a bear - on 28 Dec 2012
In reply to robric: On the subject of ill-advised remakes, I have never seen the film version of Edge of Darkness as I thought I'd be wasting my time and it wouldn't compare to the original, which I hold in high regard. Anyone seen it and want to comment?

T.
moac - on 28 Dec 2012
In reply to TheDrunkenBakers:
"Hamilton is Out", starring Richard Burton.
shaymarriott - on 28 Dec 2012
In reply to TheDrunkenBakers:

Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus is pretty bad, so is Sharktopus. Worth YouTube-ing though, for lolz.
moac - on 28 Dec 2012
In reply to TheDrunkenBakers:
"Hamilton is Out", starring Richard Burton
should read,
"Hammersmith is Out", starring Richard Burton
Daithi O Murchu - on 29 Dec 2012
In reply to TheDrunkenBakers:

Waterloo with Marlon Brando and Christopher plummer is right up there
Gordon Stainforth - on 29 Dec 2012
In reply to Daithi O Murchu:
> (In reply to TheDrunkenBakers)
>
> Waterloo with Marlon Brando and Christopher plummer is right up there

Christopher Plummer actually does a good job; it's Rod Steiger (in the role of Napoleon) who is definitely well below par. Brando isn't in the movie. But it's churlish to damn Waterloo as one of the 'worst films ever' because the battle scenes by Bondarchuk are stupendous.

General Lee - on 29 Dec 2012
In reply to TheDrunkenBakers:

More of the type of so bad you should see them are:

1, Nude nuns with big guns
2, Hobo with a shotgun
ads.ukclimbing.com
Wonko The Sane - on 29 Dec 2012
In reply to TheDrunkenBakers: I've let this thread run long enough.

If you do get too bored to watch all the way through, please do go to 1:30sec where you'll be treated to the best film opening song in the world, ever.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wfm3_BMinhg
deepsoup - on 29 Dec 2012
In reply to Gordon Stainforth:
> Christopher Plummer actually does a good job

He stars (with Caroline Munro and the mighty Hoff) in a world class "so bad it's good" movie. Starcrash (1979) - astonishingly, I mean really amazingly bad Star Wars wannabe:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pzfuNSpP0RA

My nomination for worst film ever (I'm sure I've said this before): Wild Wild West (with Will Smith & Kevin Cline). It isn't so bad it's good, its just bad with no redeeming features whatsoever. It's still the only time I've ever paid money to go to the cinema and failed to sit through to the end of the film. :o)
Tim Chappell - on 29 Dec 2012
Any film made by David Lean. Particularly Lawrence of Arabia, though Passage to India is scrotum-tighteningly dreadful too.

Typical Lean-type film scenario: Epically portentous musical bombast, pretty pretty pictures, dialogue so wooden it's got wooden bits on its woodenness, slow slow SLOW acting, and then nothing happens. For hours on end.
Tim Chappell - on 29 Dec 2012
In reply to Tim Chappell:


Oh, and whatever anyone tells you: Taxi Driver is terrible. And so is Withnail and I :-)
sbc_10 - on 29 Dec 2012
In reply to deepsoup:

Starcrash (1979) -

What a beaut !!

I think most of the 'actors' would delete this from their CV's if they could.
Watching this trailer I got feelings of 'Clash of the Titans','Zardoz','Lost World', 'Sinbad' etc... I suppose a good storyline can be modified for whichever genre (ahem!), but it looks less convincing than The Clangers in terms of visual FX.

Caroline Munro might be worthy of a bit internet research I feel, let me see now .........

Bulls Crack - on 29 Dec 2012
In reply to Tim Chappell:
> Any film made by David Lean. Particularly Lawrence of Arabia, though Passage to India is scrotum-tighteningly dreadful too.
>
Really? I mean really? Worst films ever? You may not like them but....

TheDrunkenBakers - on 29 Dec 2012
In reply to General Lee:
> (In reply to TheDrunkenBakers)
>
> More of the type of so bad you should see them are:
>
> 1, Nude nuns with big guns


I havent seen this movie but with a title like that, it cant be that bad, can it? Ill look this one up.

I thin the only film that I have ever paid to go and see at the cinema but walked out before the end was Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. Deary me.

paul-1970 - on 29 Dec 2012
In reply to Tim Chappell:
> Any film made by David Lean.

!!!
'Great Expectations'? 'Brief Encounter'? 'Oliver Twist'? 'Bridge on the River Kwai'? Doctor 'Zhivago'?
'Laurence of Arabia' really needs to be seen at a cinema to enjoy the immensity. True, it doesn't rattle along like a Steven Seagull film, but if that's your bag then I think you walked into the wrong room in the multiplex.

One could be forgiven for cynically thinking you're being a little wilfully controversial, Tim. ;)
paul-1970 - on 29 Dec 2012
In reply to Tim Chappell:
> (In reply to Tim Chappell)
>
>
> Oh, and whatever anyone tells you: Taxi Driver is terrible. And so is Withnail and I :-)

Interesting you mention these two; both are examples of enjoying acting or performance over the storyline. The arc of the pieces depend on how you engage or are repulsed by your reaction and interest in the character(s). True that the first moves slowly, and the latter moves in hardly a great direction. But both have performances by characters that move you, make you interested in what occurs - and lives in the memory for a long time after. To be rather pompous, both are closer to theatre than cinema.

And I read an interview with De Niro last Sunday. Yes, he still gets stopped in the street by people asking him "You talkin' to me?" :D

ena sharples - on 29 Dec 2012
In reply to TheDrunkenBakers: Amazed nobody has nominated "Plan 9 from outer space" yet (or any other Ed Wood opus-Glen or Glenda, The Ghoul goes West, Jailbait etc-spectacularly consistent rubbish throughout)
Tim Chappell - on 29 Dec 2012
In reply to paul-1970:

>
> One could be forgiven for cynically thinking you're being a little wilfully controversial, Tim. ;)


Wilfully controversial? Moi?

I admit it, I was born stirring :-)
Tim Chappell - on 29 Dec 2012
In reply to paul-1970:


"You talkin' to me?" :D

Brilliant line. Terrible movie :-)

Bulls Crack - on 29 Dec 2012
In reply to homing-penguin:
> (In reply to Wonko The Sane) Shoot em up was awesome!! It's one massive long gun battle with puns.
>
> Notting Hill is probably the worst film I've ever seen.
>
You must have lived a very sheltered film life is all I can say!

Tim Chappell - on 29 Dec 2012
In reply to Bulls Crack:


I'm the one who thinks, in all seriousness, that The Sound of Music is a far better movie than Reservoir Dogs.

Am I controversial or what? ;-)
Gordon Stainforth - on 29 Dec 2012
In reply to Tim Chappell:
> Any film made by David Lean. Particularly Lawrence of Arabia, though Passage to India is scrotum-tighteningly dreadful too.
>
> Typical Lean-type film scenario: Epically portentous musical bombast, pretty pretty pictures, dialogue so wooden it's got wooden bits on its woodenness, slow slow SLOW acting, and then nothing happens. For hours on end.

What shameful tripe you utter. What is astonishing about Lawrence of Arabia is the levity, subtlety and wit of the script (dark, satirical and funny) ... and just about everything else about it. I would go as far as saying it's the highest point of British cinema.

When did you last see the movie?

Passage to India was only dreadful because the screenplay stuck far too faithfully to the epic structure of the novel, which was totally uncinematic in shape.

In time David Lean's preeminent stature in the British cinema will be fully appreciated, I think.
Gordon Stainforth - on 29 Dec 2012
In reply to Tim Chappell:
> (In reply to Bulls Crack)
>
>
> I'm the one who thinks, in all seriousness, that The Sound of Music is a far better movie than Reservoir Dogs.
>
> Am I controversial or what? ;-)

You seem to be revelling in your (presumably drink-fuelled) contrariness, Tim. But how can anyone take you seriously now on the basis of this thread?

Tim Chappell - on 29 Dec 2012
In reply to Gordon Stainforth:
> (
But how can anyone take you seriously now on the basis of this thread?


Weeeeeeeeeeelll Gordon, a lot of people still take you seriously, despite all the stuff you've come out with.

I mean it, though, and stone-cold sober: The Sound of Music is not a very good movie, but it's certainly better than anything Tarantino's produced. That view may not be terribly cool or trendy, but then, who gives a damn about cool and trendy?
Bulls Crack - on 29 Dec 2012
In reply to Tim Chappell:
> (In reply to Bulls Crack)
>
>
> I'm the one who thinks, in all seriousness, that The Sound of Music is a far better movie than Reservoir Dogs.
>
> Am I controversial or what? ;-)

Chalk and cheese - which is better?
Tim Chappell - on 29 Dec 2012
In reply to Gordon Stainforth:
> (In reply to Tim Chappell)
> [...]
>
> What shameful tripe you utter.


You've clearly appointed yourself Official Guardian of Received (but Wrong) Opinion. Fine, carry on, no one's listening :-)
Tim Chappell - on 29 Dec 2012
In reply to Bulls Crack:
> (In reply to Tim Chappell)
> [...]
>
> Chalk and cheese - which is better?

Would you rather be chalked up, or overload on the cheese?
Gordon Stainforth - on 29 Dec 2012
In reply to Tim Chappell:

I'm not a 'guardian' of anything. But Bulls Crack has hit the nail on the head. One of the great joys of the cinema, as with all other art forms, is that there is an almost infinite range of genres, and that unlike can never be compared with unlike. All that matters to me is how well a film works in the world it sets up, and that it entertains, and gives you something extra (relating to core issues of life), such that you will carry on thinking and talking about it long after you've seen it.
Gordon Stainforth - on 29 Dec 2012
In reply to Tim Chappell:

PS. It also has to be a superbly crafted work of art.
Tim Chappell - on 29 Dec 2012
In reply to Gordon Stainforth:
> (In reply to Tim Chappell)
>
> I'm not a 'guardian' of anything. But Bulls Crack has hit the nail on the head. One of the great joys of the cinema, as with all other art forms, is that there is an almost infinite range of genres, and that unlike can never be compared with unlike. All that matters to me is how well a film works in the world it sets up, and that it entertains, and gives you something extra (relating to core issues of life), such that you will carry on thinking and talking about it long after you've seen it.


All this I agree with. Still. Lawrence of Arabia is unwatchably terrible, and so is Passage to India.

Tim Chappell - on 29 Dec 2012
In reply to Gordon Stainforth:
> (In reply to Tim Chappell)
>
> PS. It also has to be a superbly crafted work of art.


Actually I think the evidence tells against that one. A lot of the most enjoyable films are deeply throwaway.

Gordon Stainforth - on 29 Dec 2012
In reply to Tim Chappell:
> (In reply to Gordon Stainforth)
> [...]
>
>
> All this I agree with. Still. Lawrence of Arabia is unwatchably terrible, and so is Passage to India.

L of A is one of the longest films ever made, but it keeps you held from the very first minute to the last. Passage to India is a mere shade of Lean's earlier work, made by a very old and ailing man, and I'm afraid it shows.

As a matter of fact the last four films I've seen at our superb local cinema (in last fortnight) are:

Lawrence of Arabia (digital restoration)
The Nutcracker (live digital from the Bolshoi)
It's a Wonderful Life, Frank Capra (digital restoration)
Great Expectations, Newell.

All 5 stars in their very different ways. Can't say which I enjoyed most.

Tim Chappell - on 29 Dec 2012
In reply to Gordon Stainforth:

I think I'd have enjoyed all of those, except the first :-)
Daithi O Murchu - on 29 Dec 2012
In reply to Gordon Stainforth:
> (In reply to Daithi O Murchu)
> [...]
>
> Christopher Plummer actually does a good job; it's Rod Steiger (in the role of Napoleon) who is definitely well below par. Brando isn't in the movie.

duh, of course, sorry for that thanks for the correction


> But it's churlish to damn Waterloo as one of the 'worst films ever' because the battle scenes by Bondarchuk are stupendous.

the dialogue is cringe worthy

biped - on 29 Dec 2012
In reply to TheDrunkenBakers:

Glorious 39. A staggeringly awful, insulting, time-thieving film.

TheDrunkenBakers - on 29 Dec 2012
In reply to TheDrunkenBakers:

Now I cant comment from a position of authority as i didnt see the film myself but I do remember reading quite a bit about it at its time of release.

The Empire review, strangely, makes me want to see the film to judge for myself quite how bad it actually was.

So, did anyone actually watch the modern classic that is Gigli?

http://www.empireonline.com/reviews/reviewcomplete.asp?FID=9355

remus - on 29 Dec 2012
In reply to TheDrunkenBakers: Nazis at the Centre of the Earth is a classic worst film in the world, though whether it takes the title i can't say as I have yet to see Arachnoquake and Mansquito, both strong contenders.
ads.ukclimbing.com
TheDrunkenBakers - on 29 Dec 2012
In reply to TheDrunkenBakers:

It would seem, thanks to Empire voters, that you are all incorrect.

What I can say, is that I have only seen the number one spot out of this apparent line up of a quality viewing.

http://www.empireonline.com/features/50-worst-movies-ever/default.asp?film=1

HenryJM - on 29 Dec 2012
In reply to TheDrunkenBakers: The Holiday. Got up to leave, but realised it was going on for another hour and fancied the chick who took me to it. It didn't last!
papashango - on 30 Dec 2012
In reply to TheDrunkenBakers:

Piranha 3D. Plenty of lolz to be had watching some of it on youtube though!
Gordon Stainforth - on 30 Dec 2012
In reply to Stuart Mitchell:

Agreed. Mindnumbingly bad. Childishly unaccomplished. Totally unbelievable.
Tim Chappell - on 30 Dec 2012
In reply to remus:


"Nazis at the Centre of the Earth" and "Arachnoquake" both sound like contenders for the Worst Ever Film-Title award.

stp - on 30 Dec 2012
In reply to TheDrunkenBakers:

Pterodactyl - 2005 must rank down there with the worst of 'em. With a lowly IMDB 3.2 rating, its one of those 'so bad its good' kind of films.
i.fish2000 - on 30 Dec 2012
In reply to TheDrunkenBakers: Havn't read the whole thread, but I did search and nobody has mentioned Tommy Wiseau's masterpiece 'The Room'

Here is a sample scene: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQ4KzClb1C4

If you want to fully appreciate exactly how long 90 minutes of your life can feel, I recommend this film highly!
MikeTS - on 31 Dec 2012
In reply to simonfish2000:
sooo bad. Liked this comment

'I saw this movie on a plane and people still walked out'
Kemics - on 31 Dec 2012
In reply to TheDrunkenBakers:

Not sure if it's the worst ever. Be certainly the worst I saw in 2012 -

Mr. Nobody.

Man it was so bad. I think it's the first film I've ever given up on. I don't think i've ever shouted at the television before...
TheDrunkenBakers - on 31 Dec 2012
In reply to simonfish2000:
> (In reply to TheDrunkenBakers) Havn't read the whole thread, but I did search and nobody has mentioned Tommy Wiseau's masterpiece 'The Room'
>
> Here is a sample scene: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQ4KzClb1C4
>
> If you want to fully appreciate exactly how long 90 minutes of your life can feel, I recommend this film highly!

Nah, its a wind up, that cant be a real movie.

JCurrie - on 31 Dec 2012
In reply to TheDrunkenBakers:

I'll say it again.

The Matrix.

I was stuck at the wrong end of the row and allowed my politeness (or british reserve, or whatever) to overrule my rising hate for a truly abysmal film.

Jase


Tom Last - on 31 Dec 2012
In reply to TheDrunkenBakers:
> (In reply to simonfish2000)
> [...]
>
> Nah, its a wind up, that cant be a real movie.

Nice comment

"I saw this movie on a plane and people still walked out."
deepsoup - on 31 Dec 2012
In reply to JCurrie:
Daft as it is, I really liked the Matrix.

If you think it's a contender for "worst films ever" though, you should try watching the sequel. ;o)
Tom Last - on 31 Dec 2012
In reply to MikeTS:
> (In reply to simonfish2000)
> sooo bad. Liked this comment
>
> 'I saw this movie on a plane and people still walked out'

D'oh!
homing-penguin - on 31 Dec 2012
In reply to colina: I'd forgotten about Snakes On A Plane
Blue Straggler - on 31 Dec 2012
Bobby Deerfield
Tom V - on 31 Dec 2012
In reply to Blue Straggler:

Thanks for the tip. I will make a point of seeking it out. As car racing films go it will have to beat the execrable "Days of Thunder" to be a contender.

Having Googled a good many sites on the topic I can only offer this suggestion: Do not trust any "worst films" list which contains "Heaven's Gate".
Siward on 31 Dec 2012
In reply to Tom V:
Nobody's mentioned Grease 2, genuinely terrible.
Wallm0nkey - on 31 Dec 2012
In reply to TheDrunkenBakers: The Room has quite a cult following my sister got me to watch it at the electric cinema and it was a brilliant night. If it ever appears at a local cinema it's worth going take plenty of plastic spoons though!
TheDrunkenBakers - on 31 Dec 2012
In reply to Wallm0nkey:
> (In reply to TheDrunkenBakers) The Room has quite a cult following my sister got me to watch it at the electric cinema and it was a brilliant night. If it ever appears at a local cinema it's worth going take plenty of plastic spoons though!

So I gather. Ive done some reading up on it and I am actually curious to watch it now. In some quarters, its suggested as being the worst film ever made. How can I not watch it.

pneame on 31 Dec 2012
In reply to JCurrie:
I'd echo that - we've tried to watch the Matrix twice and just can't stand it. I think we tried one the sequels as well (suckers for punishment) and couldn't stand that either
Wallm0nkey - on 31 Dec 2012
In reply to TheDrunkenBakers: It is a terrible film hard to believe it was made seriously. Not sure I'd of sat and watched it on my own but with a room full of people who appear to know it word for word was a surreal experience.
i.fish2000 - on 31 Dec 2012
In reply to TheDrunkenBakers:
> (In reply to simonfish2000)
> [...]
>
> Nah, its a wind up, that cant be a real movie.

It's really not! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Room_(film)#Production Just read that paragraph! Half way through one of the actors walked out, so all of a sudden you just get another guy playing one of the parts... Must be seen to be believed. Five Stars.
ice.solo - on 01 Jan 2013
In reply to TheDrunkenBakers:

star wars xmas special. so bad it becomes so good it becomes bad again.
its actually got the real cast - with singing, and animated bits about bobba fett, and a whole scene set in chewbaccas home town. total stoner material, a real room stopper at parties.

im going to 2nd lord of the rings. if it hadnt been a book with a religious following it would have been waterworld in 3 parts, tho if i remember correctly waterworld had one or two bikini sequences.
sbc_10 - on 01 Jan 2013
In reply to ice.solo:

I've just spent half an hour watching a family of Wookies gibbering at each other without a clue what on Tatooine is going on!! There is a faint hope that a storyline might strike back......dear God...how did this pass the sanity police?
Blue Straggler - on 01 Jan 2013
In reply to ice.solo:
> (In reply to TheDrunkenBakers)
>
> star wars xmas special.

It was the "Holiday Special" and was for Thanksgiving, not Christmas.
I have willingly watched it all the way through (with original ads) three times, which might be a record.
Alec Guiness managed to get out of participating, somehow.

Blue Straggler - on 01 Jan 2013
Hmmm possibly NOT for Thanksgiving after all, as it was too early in November to have been Thanksgiving, I think. Oh well
Tom Last - on 01 Jan 2013
In reply to Blue Straggler:
> (In reply to ice.solo)
> [...]
>
> It was the "Holiday Special"

I think the Ewok films Caravan of Courage etc are actually worse, if you can believe that!
Blue Straggler - on 01 Jan 2013
In reply to Southern Man:

I saw Caravan of Courage when I was 11 and found it utterly boring! I never saw the other one and can't remember its name
Tom Last - on 01 Jan 2013
In reply to Blue Straggler:

The other was The Battle for Endor according to Wikipedia.

I don't remember much between them in terms of quality.
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mountainsheep - on 01 Jan 2013
In reply to TheDrunkenBakers: iron sky or gran torino
Purple - on 01 Jan 2013
In reply to TheDrunkenBakers: Driven to Despair, a recent 'climbing' film. Utter, unmitigated dross. A disgrace and embarrassment to the climbing community and film-making itself.
Tim Chappell - on 01 Jan 2013
In reply to Purple:


Burn after Reading. Have I mentioned that one before? Sphincter-tighteningly awful.
General Lee - on 01 Jan 2013
In reply to TheDrunkenBakers:

I'm starting to think that most of the films that have been on the TV in the last week are eligible for a high ranking on the worst films ever list.
Clarence - on 01 Jan 2013
In reply to TheDrunkenBakers:

I was talked into believing that "Up" was a life-changing experience, well its about half-way through and I have resorted to UKC to stop me doing harm to the television set.

Seriously, its complete dross.
yeti on 01 Jan 2013
In reply to TheDrunkenBakers:

field of dreams, utter boredom, no baseball film should be shown outside the US
Gordon Stainforth - on 01 Jan 2013
In reply to yeti:

However much you didnt like it (Field of Dreams), it's still utterly absurd to call that one of the 'worst films ever'. Really, really, really absurd.
sbc_10 - on 01 Jan 2013
In reply to Gordon Stainforth:
> (In reply to yeti)
>
> However much you didnt like it (Field of Dreams), it's still utterly absurd to call that one of the 'worst films ever'.

Agree, baseball itself is a tedious game (he's says laying himself open to a mauling) but the film concerns itself about many other issues. The baseball is just the vehicle that carries it along. The film is worth it for Burt Lancaster's performance alone, and if you know the subtext to this, his last major film role, it can invoke a lump in the throat. Now that's not the worst film in the world.
ice.solo - on 01 Jan 2013
In reply to sbc_10:

i think a dose of electric kool aid likely helps. worth seeing the bobba fett cartoon tho - just aching to be sampled to 110bpm.
ice.solo - on 01 Jan 2013
In reply to Blue Straggler:

always willing to be corrected by those more obsessive than myself.
three times thru is a symptom of something (the original ads im assuming were no worse than the film???).

i hope they do a lord of the rings holiday special, and this time the wizard stays!
ice.solo - on 01 Jan 2013
In reply to mountainsheep:

gran torino???

each to their own, but i can see how it will be boring to many, but bad...i cant concurr.

(i admit to loving it)
Jon Stewart - on 01 Jan 2013
In reply to Gordon Stainforth:
> (In reply to yeti)
>
> However much you didnt like it (Field of Dreams), it's still utterly absurd to call that one of the 'worst films ever'. Really, really, really absurd.

Well this is the thing. For example, many of Mr Chapell's "worst films ever" are films greatly loved by lots and lots of people who are really passionately into cinema.

I love Withnail and I, but not bothered about Taxi Driver. Burn After Reading is not a good Cohen Brothers film, but is still miles ahead of standard Hollywood dross.

I could name loads of films I happened not to enjoy, many of which would be classics that people who are into that type of thing will rave about.

The question is, is there such a thing as objectively bad? Without question, if there was such a thing, Withnail and I would not be it. I doubt Field of Dreams would be either (although, like combining a bottle of whisky with sedatives, it puts me in danger of vomiting in my sleep).

I suspect that there is some sort of measure of 'objective quality' which has got something to do with a 'justified consensus' (i.e. it is not simply box office figures, it matters what people say about the film in question) and can distinguish 'films I didn't like' from 'films that should not have been made because they diminish humanity'. And I think that some people have a firmer grasp of that measure than others.
nufkin - on 01 Jan 2013
In reply to Jon Stewart:
> (In reply to Gordon Stainforth)
> [...]
>
> 'films that should not have been made because they diminish humanity'

An excellent phrase. Directors ought to be asking themselves that before they start each new project.
Slugain Howff - on 06 Jan 2013
In reply to TheDrunkenBakers:

Any one vote for Salmon Fishing in the Yemen ?- a true shocker.

Feel robbed even watching the 3 Tesco DVD.

S
gd303uk - on 06 Jan 2013
In reply to TheDrunkenBakers: Ridley Scott's, robin hood, is a terrible film, with the actors director and money thrown at this, you would expect a half decent film. And there is a sequel rumoured to infect the cinema. Utter shite.








Tom V - on 06 Jan 2013
In reply to gd303uk:
> (In reply to TheDrunkenBakers) Ridley Scott's, robin hood, is a terrible film, with the actors director and money thrown at this, you would expect a half decent film.

I would say it's a half decent film, nothing more. Which puts it several levels above some of his brother's output.

TheDrunkenBakers - on 06 Jan 2013
In reply to gd303uk: Ha, watched this over Xmas for the first time. OK, in saying that I went to sleep before I finished the film which doesnt say much about the film. Russell Crows Yorkshire accent was a peach.

As for big budget stinkers, I hereby nominate Troy, which I watched last night. Was it the woste film ever? No? Should it have been better for the money invested? Hell yes.
Fraser on 06 Jan 2013
In reply to TheDrunkenBakers:

I'm so tempted to say 'Life of Pi' which I saw last night, but I know that would be unfair. I think it was probably a very good film, however there was a lot of it that I really didn't enjoy.
omerta on 06 Jan 2013
In reply to TheDrunkenBakers:

I walked out of Lost In Space
Offwidth - on 07 Jan 2013
In reply to Jon Stewart:

Beat me too it. This means a lot of the 'worst' low budget films in some respects are actually OK as they were crafted quickly but with love and humour. Ditto the big budget flops (they are shit value for money more than terrible). The worst objective quality relates to almost no artistic drive or cinematic craft as they got lost in the greed and politics that Hollywood is infested with: nearly always mid-priced bandwagon films with production problems rushed out to low box office receipts.

These threads (film, music, classic climb, whatever) also bring out the plain silly, thoughtless and sometimes needlessly cruel: defining quality on personal taste is moronic; deliberately citing some of the classics as trash is a little bit below toilet humour; bullying someone who loves something is low indeed.
readysalted - on 07 Jan 2013
The climb.

If you haven't seen it before it's a 'mountain film', with not a great deal of climbing in it, but alot of people walking around in climbing gear, and a hell of alot of The North Face product placement. The film ropes you in (excuse the pun), and then drip feeds you the religious undertones, culminating in one of the climbers, returning from Mt Checanagua (Supposedly in Chile), and converting to Christianity.

Probably not THE worst film, but certainly a shit film, save for the few mountain scenes, and I always feel like it insults my intelligence.

...On the other hand K2, very good I think. The eiger sanction, fantastic.
luke-t - on 09 Jan 2013
Snakes on a Train?
cuppatea on 10 Jan 2013
Avatar was the worst blue film I ever saw. Watched half after recording it and just couldn't face finishing it.

This thread has reminded me of a trip to the cinema to watch The Ring.
There were only about 8 of us watching the film, and I managed to make most of them jump by shouting BOO!! during a suspenceful bit and making my girlfriend scream in terror. Even typing this now years later is making me chuckle.
davidbeynon - on 10 Jan 2013
In reply to TheDrunkenBakers:

"Hollywood chainsaw hookers" is pretty bad, but far from the worst film I have ever seen to the end.
Chris H - on 10 Jan 2013
In reply to simonfish2000:
> (In reply to TheDrunkenBakers)

Im in bed with really bad manflu and i had to stop reading as i couldnt breathe due to laughing

>
> It's really not! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Room_(film)#Production Just read that paragraph! Half way through one of the actors walked out, so all of a sudden you just get another guy playing one of the parts... Must be seen to be believed. Five Stars.

Ava Adore - on 10 Jan 2013
In reply to TheDrunkenBakers:

Skyline. It had all the things that ought to make it a big hit for me (guns, aliens and car chases). But it was unmitigated shite.
Blue Straggler - on 10 Jan 2013
In reply to Ava Adore:
> (In reply to TheDrunkenBakers)
>
> Skyline. It had all the things that ought to make it a big hit for me (guns, aliens and car chases). But it was unmitigated shite.

Have you copy-and-pasted this? It rings a bell!
Ava Adore - on 10 Jan 2013
In reply to Blue Straggler:

No. I keep saying it. Because it keeps being true.
davidbeynon - on 10 Jan 2013
In reply to Ava Adore:

trivia: Skyline was the first film to be produced entirely with high dynamic range processes. All filming, effects etc were done in HDR.

Therefore HDR is bad and should be banned! '-)
Ava Adore - on 10 Jan 2013
In reply to davidbeynon:

Clearly it was HDR wotsit that made it a shite film :-)
ads.ukclimbing.com
Wide_Mouth_Frog - on 10 Jan 2013
In reply to TheDrunkenBakers:

I can't believe no-one's mentioned No Country For Old Men....
LastBoyScout on 10 Jan 2013
In reply to TheDrunkenBakers:

Woman in Black - Daniel Radcliffe one. Worst ending ever after a dreary film.

Blair Witch project - wanted to walk out of cinema.
You, Me and Dupree - actually walked out of cinema.
Milesy - on 10 Jan 2013
In reply to General Lee:
> 2, Hobo with a shotgun

C'mon that isnt the same thing. If it is good then it cant be bad. This was an absolutely brilliant film. It was supposed to be that way.

There is a difference between films which just suck and films which are intentionally made to be rediculous.
fxceltic on 10 Jan 2013
In reply to General Lee:
> (In reply to TheDrunkenBakers)
>
> More of the type of so bad you should see them are:
>
> 1, Nude nuns with big guns
> 2, Hobo with a shotgun

I assume you also have netflix...
TheDrunkenBakers - on 10 Jan 2013
In reply to Wide_Mouth_Frog:
> (In reply to TheDrunkenBakers)
>
> I can't believe no-one's mentioned No Country For Old Men....

Wash your mouth out, with vim.

cb294 - on 10 Jan 2013
In reply to TheDrunkenBakers:

Stuff that is unintentionally crap:
Waterworld (although Jeanette Tripplehorn or whatever she is called was rather cute)
Lord of the Rings
all three Star Wars prequels
all Matrix films

Of course, nothing beats the 1960s Japanese monster films like Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla

CB




Jon Stewart - on 10 Jan 2013
In reply to Wide_Mouth_Frog:

Well, like I said in my post above there's "films I didn't enjoy" and there's films that can justifiably described as crap. NCFOM is not one of my favourite films, I found it unbearably depressing by the end. But in terms of craft it is absolutely stunning, and anyone who can't make this distinction should probably stick to lowest common denominator Hollywood dross.
Milesy - on 10 Jan 2013
I will mention this because it relates to hobo with a shotgun.

It is absolutely wonderfully entertaining.

Rubber - http://www.amazon.co.uk/Rubber-DVD/dp/B004OQJSOU

About a rubber tyre that goes on a killing spree.

There are only going to be two types of opinion about this film.

1. People who try and take it seriously and then complain it was an absolutely awful film.
2. People who see the downright comedy and humour in it without their being comedy or humour presented.
Dave Ferguson - on 10 Jan 2013
In reply to TheDrunkenBakers:
"Lost in translation" - pretentious shite, how it got nominated for an oscar is beyond me. Watched it in Weymouth on a trip to Portland to keep us out the pub, it only succeeded in that respect as we slept most of the way through. People's mobile phones going off were a welcome distraction, would have walked out but couldn't be arsed.
davidbeynon - on 10 Jan 2013
In reply to TheDrunkenBakers:
> (In reply to Wide_Mouth_Frog)
> [...]
>
> Wash your mouth out, with vim.

They did screw up the ending by missing a vital scene out. I was ok because I had read the book, but I could hear a chorus of "WTF?!" from the rest of the cinema.
alooker - on 10 Jan 2013
In reply to TheDrunkenBakers: leprechaun in the hood
alooker - on 10 Jan 2013
In reply to alooker: or leprechaun in the hood 2
TheDrunkenBakers - on 10 Jan 2013
In reply to davidbeynon: This is true, the end let down the rest but the rest was engrossing, tense, dark and with a truly mesmerising baddie.

One of the best baddies I think although I cant quite work out what his weapon is.
PeterM - on 10 Jan 2013
In reply to Dave Ferguson:
> (In reply to TheDrunkenBakers)
> "Lost in translation" - pretentious shite, how it got nominated for an oscar is beyond me. Watched it in Weymouth on a trip to Portland to keep us out the pub, it only succeeded in that respect as we slept most of the way through. People's mobile phones going off were a welcome distraction, would have walked out but couldn't be arsed.

- Wrong!
Jon Stewart - on 10 Jan 2013
In reply to Dave Ferguson:

What were you expecting Lost In Translation to be like?

It's definitely not a favourite film of mine, but it's a million miles away from being dreadful. If you want to see some pretentious shite, try something in which "nobody knows what the hell is going on"*.

Here's a few suggestions:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0062480/
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0166924/
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0383028/

All have something to recommend them, but this is what a pretentious film looks like IMO, not just a fairly quiet social drama.




*http://www.rapid-upload.org/k0aocr2p3aat/Picnic_On_Your_Mum.mp3.html
davidbeynon - on 10 Jan 2013
In reply to TheDrunkenBakers:

The weapon is a compressed air captive bolt gun, normally used for slaughtering cattle.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Captive_bolt_pistol
Bulls Crack - on 11 Jan 2013
In reply to Jon Stewart:
> (In reply to Dave Ferguson)
>
> What were you expecting Lost In Translation to be like?
>
> It's definitely not a favourite film of mine, but it's a million miles away from being dreadful.

It often turns up in threads such as these - seems to get peoples backs up for some reason.

I enjoyed it.
davidbeynon - on 11 Jan 2013
In reply to TheDrunkenBakers:

I just popped over to badmovies.org and found a review of "2-HEADED SHARK ATTACK"

Looks quality.
graeme jackson - on 11 Jan 2013
In reply to TheDrunkenBakers:

Buckaroo Banzai in the 8th dimension.
Early outings for peter weller, John lithgow, jeff goldblum and sundry others. So bad it's........ bad
davidbeynon - on 11 Jan 2013
In reply to graeme jackson:

For some reason that one has a lot of fanatical fans. I just couldn't be bothered with it at all.
wildmanwildhouse - on 11 Jan 2013
In reply to cb294: honeymoon killers. watched it in norway in the local cinema in andalsnes in black and white .No idea what it was about,but it was absolute shite.
TheDrunkenBakers - on 11 Jan 2013
In reply to davidbeynon:
> (In reply to TheDrunkenBakers)
>
> The weapon is a compressed air captive bolt gun, normally used for slaughtering cattle.
>
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Captive_bolt_pistol

Every day is a school day.

Mark Bannan - on 11 Jan 2013
In reply to TheDrunkenBakers:

Here's a few contenders (IMHO, of course):

Clueless
Presidio
Cool Runnings
Blue Straggler - on 11 Jan 2013
In reply to Mark Bannan:
>
> Presidio

I read an interview with Meg Ryan once, in which she said that her mum had thought Kevin Costner and Mark Harmon were the same person - presumably because The Presidio had all the hallmarks of the kind of film Costner might have turned down.
Connery is his usual embarrassing self in this film, that fight scene where he claims to just be using his weak thumb is just screenwriters pandering to his foolish ego.
It's barely a B-movie.
FrankW on 12 Jan 2013
In reply to Mark Bannan: I loved Cool Runnings despite the Disney cheese. The worst film I've watched had to be Ultra Violet. So bad I even got bored with the gratuitous arose shots of Milla Jockovic. Some of the dross my children watch take things to a whole new level though. If in doubt try the Lion King 3
Blue Straggler - on 12 Jan 2013
In reply to FrankW:

Ultraviolet is pretty bad. I actually deliberately sought it out at the cinema as a potential "worst film ever" but despite its craptitude, it wasn't really THAT bad! I mean, it's crap, but there's worse. It's probably better than (say) Batman and Robin.
I tried the same with The Cave but despite its silliness I rather enjoyed it - lovely sets and cinematography, plus Lena Headey.
Blue Straggler - on 12 Jan 2013
In reply to TheDrunkenBakers:

The Core?
yeti on 12 Jan 2013
In reply to TheDrunkenBakers:

only my opinion but "forrest gump" 2 hours of my life wasted

obviously some critics liked it but i'd rather watch paint dry

by the way... i liked lotr and matrix, though matrix has some problems being honest to its own universe
Totally-Normal - on 12 Jan 2013
In reply to TheDrunkenBakers: Its a mystery to me how no one has yet mentioned Cloverfield. Has to be the worst film I've ever seen.
yeti on 12 Jan 2013
In reply to taylorct:

aye i was cheering the monster, the characters were so unlikeable
Dave Kerr - on 12 Jan 2013
In reply to TheDrunkenBakers:

Kill Bill is pretty crap.
mkean - on 17 Jan 2013
In reply to TheDrunkenBakers:
Baise-Moi is the worst film I've seen in a while.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/films/2002/04/17/baise_moi_2002_review.shtml#rating
MHutch - on 17 Jan 2013
In reply to yeti:

For me, the films I've enjoyed the least are those which were hyped to buggery beforehand. If I've paid to watch it rather than waited for the telly then it compounds the problem.

Truly, Madly, Deeply takes top prize for me. It even has Alan Rickman in it, and is still awful.

Fried Green Tomatoes at the WhistleStop Cafe. Should have expected this to not to be my cup of tea, but sooooo bored.

Matrix Reloaded. Unwatchable drivel. I know some people don't like any of them, but I liked the Matrix...

Blue Straggler - on 18 Jan 2013
In reply to MHutch:
> (In reply to yeti)
>
> For me, the films I've enjoyed the least are those which were hyped to buggery beforehand. If I've paid to watch it rather than waited for the telly then it compounds the problem.
>
> Truly, Madly, Deeply takes top prize for me. It even has Alan Rickman in it, and is still awful.
>
> Fried Green Tomatoes at the WhistleStop Cafe. Should have expected this to not to be my cup of tea, but sooooo bored.

Those two weren't particularly "hyped to buggery"!
estivoautumnal - on 18 Jan 2013
In reply to TheDrunkenBakers:
>
> All I can say is that I dont think I have ever watched such a plss poor film. An hour of my life that I will never, ever get back.
>

Just as an aside, how many hours of you life do you get back?

MHutch - on 18 Jan 2013
In reply to Blue Straggler:

Perhaps I was reading the wrong publications at the time. I remember rave reviews for both...
Blue Straggler - on 18 Jan 2013
In reply to MHutch:

A couple of good reviews is not the same as "hyped to buggery"
MHutch - on 18 Jan 2013
In reply to Blue Straggler:

Gosh. Slight hyperbole on a lighthearted forum post. Who will save us?

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