In reply to amyiveco:
The obvious answer is to look at womens specific models as these are generally narrower and lower volume than mens. Your problem though might be that with size 9 feet manufacturers don't make (or shops don't stock) womens models that large.
Generally lace-up models are more forgiving for wide/narrow feet, especially if the laces go right down to the base of the toes. Really then the only really good advice is to try on lots of different models and see which gives the best fit.
As you say rockshoes don't need to be painfull, and if you can find a shoe which is the right shape for your foot you can fit it surprisingly tight/snug without discomfort.