UKC

So.. after many years climbing and spending a lot of time in the Peak District I went back to the Roaches on Sunday 13th Jan to do some classic routes with a friend who is beginning to enjoy the great experience that is gritstone..The day was beautiful, the sun delightful set against a backdrop of glisten rock..Hen Cloud looked magnificent.. a collection of boulderers were launching themselves at the problems scattered beneath The Sloth.. my friend and I set off on Pedestal Route.. we laughed as we climbed..enjoying the moment, the chilled air was crisp as the sun began to drop down to the horizon.. I pulled over the top to think about the belay when...there in front of me.. to my wretching body and gagging reflex was the most disgusting dump of human excrement.. a pile of s^^t covered in a delicate coating of toilet paper.. Yes I couldn't believe that some disgusting, tatty Ba*****d had taken it upon themselves to deliver a dump on the stance.. Yes I know people dump in places..the Alps, the Himalayas and Stanage boulders!!! But never so close to the top of a route...a foot to the right of the exit point and in line with a key belay point... I spent the next 15 mins perched precariously over the dump with all the effort of belaying focussed on not dropping the rope in to the human waste..trying not to inhale...So if you know the tatty B*****d that soiled the rock and thought it was funny.. be it walker, climber or person of little brain.. please tell them that IT'S JUST NOT FUNNY!!! I hope something unpleasant happens to their being.. the fleas of a thousand camels infest their armpits or they gain a painful condition of PILES..
Ahh feel better..rant over..
Try to avoid the route for a while...the steaming poo may now be frozen.. however..worse still it may turn to slush..and the brown run off be confused for soil by anyone ascending unbeknowing of what lies above..

In reply to JimNich: Looks like we could be dealing with a serial sh**er. I found one a the top of Flying Buttress on Dinas Cromlech a few years back and someone else mentioned a turd at the top out of Point 5 Gully. He certainly seeks out the classic spots for his dirty doings!

In reply to MikeLell:

ah yes... the serial dumpster.

IIRC: a UKC poster had a german team in the frame for the dump on the agag's groove belay in march last year, based on spotting said team on the route ahead of them, then observing their behaviour in the clachaig afterwards, apparently.

perhaps they're back on tour...

In reply to JimNich: For a moment I though Doug had been sanctified by the Pope but that's deification (perhaps not - I guess a deity is not the same as a saint). I think you mean defecation don't you?

In reply to JimNich: Thats funny, someone posted a thread about the taking of a dump at the top of routes a few days ago before pulling it minutes later!

In reply to silhouette:


Never seen a saint wielding an axe before.

In reply to JimNich: But what do you do on moanraineering routes. I was caught short on the Gervasutti Pilland had to travers off route a bit and drop it down a crack. And don't say bag it and carry it out because ona multi day route that could get ridiculous, especially if you are in the Himalaya and have got diarhea. The only answer is use your brain and make it as unnoticeable as possible to anyone likely to come close to the spot.

In reply to Al Evans: Sorry that should say 'mountaineering routes'

In reply to JimNich: Did you not get rid of it??

In reply to MikeLell:


He must be continental. I seen his shit at Fontainebleau as well.

In reply to Al Evans: although moan-rain eering does sum up Scottish summer mountaineering rather well

In reply to Tom Valentine:

what about the Gherkin?

In reply to JimNich:

Sorry to be a spelling bore; I'm just interested rather than trying to score points. Your thread title caught my eye, so I looked it up.

Feces, faeces, and a third spelling with that funny a and e crushed together are all correct, apparently. The verb from that noun is defecate, but some people mistakenly spell it defacate. The verb from the noun is defecation, not defacation - again, quite common but wrong. Defication is definitely right out

In reply to MikeLell:

Very strange - I generally need a shit at the bottom of routes.

In reply to pasbury:

DO U USE A POO CHUTE? I DO

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/highlands_and_islands/7105454.stm

In reply to Simon_Sheff:

Doesn't look very easy to pack.

In reply to pasbury:

Funny, I usually need one at or around the crux.

In reply to MikeLell:

I've come across the trail of the cereal shitter more than once in my wanderings. He/she seems to thrive on muesli or jumbo oat porridge....

In reply to MikeLell:

Saw similar on F B. Top of the 1st pitch, right in the belay. How nice of them.

In reply to Simon_Sheff:

In New Zealand they has this neat little trowel marketed as, wait for it...

the iPoo

In reply to JimNich:

Defication? I can't place it, somewhere near Crenellation presumably?


Chris

In reply to Chris Craggs:

Defication VS 4b 0.1m
Ascend the sticky brown tufa trying not to get any on your shoes

In reply to Simon_Sheff:

You've found the brown circuit then...

In reply to mcdougal:

Of course, I was getting it mixed up with Constipation on Stanage which is altogether a much stiffer problem.


Chris

In reply to JimNich:

http://www.rei.com/product/407009/u-dig-it-stainless-steel-hand-shovel

In reply to JimNich:
I think this persons been at it for years i pulled over the 'crux' of Troutdale pinnacle many years ago to find myself looking into a Mr Whippy!

In reply to Marcus Tierney:


Chocolate I assume.......

In reply to MikeLell:


I think he flies a cargo plane out of hong kong

In reply to Marcus Tierney:

Same on the stance at the top of the second pitch of Rowan Route in Wales a few years back.

In reply to Dave Garnett:

Looks like Apple threatened to sue them.

http://www.reghardware.com/2010/07/22/ipood/

Although the phrase "look and feel" in this context reminds me of a very old joke...

In reply to JimNich: I always remember an ad in the lost and found section of Climber and Hillwalker which read: FOUND: One squashy brown turd on the top holds of January Jigsaw, Rannoch Wall. Would the owner please contact me at the address below for it's safe return and facial rearrangement!!

In reply to roddyp: They should change it to the "Ishat"

Disgusting.

In reply to Dave Garnett:

I think it's 'iPood' i've got one, somewhere.

In reply to hokkyokusei:

Yes, blame my iPhone keyboard... unless it's Apple's imbedded trademark infringement software at work.

Definitely still on sale as of about three weeks ago.

In reply to Dave Garnett:
But now (officially at least) called the "Pocket Trowel", after the inevitable involvement of Apples non-embedden trademark infringement lawyers. Big yawn. http://www.seatosummit.com/products/display/60

Seems a tad expensive for what it is.

In reply to Al Evans: I've had a sh*t down a crevasse before now, don't think those are going to re-emerge anytime soon.

When we did the N ridge of the Chardonnet someone had done the business on
absolutely the highest point - the dirty little sod.

But nothing could be worse than Buoux in the late 80s - every ledge, every cave, every path, every tree had piles of cr*p and paper. Extraordinarily horrible.

In reply to Rob Exile Ward:

Snells' Field, mid-1970s - it was OK at the start of the season but as time progressed you had to delve ever deeper into the wood to find a tree without a mini-Matterhorn behind it.
No wonder they closed the place!


Chris

At first, I read that as Deification. I thought that they started worshiping Doug!

In reply to Fat Bumbly2:

If you read the thread you will find that someone cracked this one at 10.24 on Tuesday ......

In reply to JimNich:

As we are on the subject of defectation at the Roaches, I'm reminded of this video...

http://www.ukclimbing.com/news/item.php?id=63255

In reply to MikeLell:
>. He certainly seeks out the classic spots for his dirty doings!

Funny how we're assuming the poo bandito is a bloke, girls can be filthy buggers too!

In reply to JimNich:

type fairy cave quarry into you tube. There's a brilliant video of someone up an E4 who is unsure if they've shit themselves mid route.

Rather than emptying it on the crag, he points out, just tighten your leg loops. Class

makes i chuckle anyway

In reply to moraldecay:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lG8uBkKONKE&feature=youtube_gdata_player

think that's the direct link to video. Stick with it til the end, it's worth it

In reply to Simon_Sheff:

lol