/ Your life in Haiku

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JJL - on 24 Feb 2013
Can you capture it?
Your essence of existence?
It helps winter pass.
Alyson - on 24 Feb 2013
In reply to JJL:

I have two heartbeats
A flutter like a wren's wing
Winter defeated.
Jon Stewart - on 24 Feb 2013
In reply to JJL:

Expectations build
Only then to be destroyed
Wine helps to forget

or perhaps...

Time passes always
Full of experiences
Each one adds richness

hmmmm....

Work, love, family
Adventures on mountain cliffs
Each one has its place

this is all getting a bit heavy...

trad or sport is best
arguments on UKC
what a waste of life
AlisonSmiles - on 24 Feb 2013
In reply to JJL:

The small pond expands
with autumn's tepid rainfall
In ice nothing thrives.
JJL - on 24 Feb 2013
Mine (I):

Mid-age; a pivot
Aches for the body's spring, but
Deeper resonance
JJL - on 24 Feb 2013
Mine (II):

A baby full grown;
Reflection of my own voice
Startles like blackbirds

Jon Stewart - on 24 Feb 2013
In reply to AlisonSmiles:
> (In reply to JJL)
>
> The small pond expands
> with autumn's tepid rainfall
> In ice nothing thrives.

Are you a frog?
JJL - on 24 Feb 2013
In reply to Jon Stewart:

You took your "this is all too heaavy" idea and ran with it...
Timmd on 24 Feb 2013
In reply to Alyson:
> (In reply to JJL)
>
> I have two heartbeats
> A flutter like a wren's wing
> Winter defeated.

That's lovely.
Darren Jackson - on 24 Feb 2013
In reply to JJL:

My life rolls onwards
But sometimes makes no sense
Fish
Jon Stewart - on 24 Feb 2013
In reply to Darren Jackson:

You seem not to know
How haiku are contructed
But it matters not
Darren Jackson - on 24 Feb 2013
In reply to Jon Stewart:

You criticise an amateur.
Give me yours in Japanese.
Smart arse.
Jon Stewart - on 24 Feb 2013
In reply to Darren Jackson:

Can't speak Japanese
But that's of no consequence
Now google haiku

cuppatea on 24 Feb 2013
In reply to JJL:

Brain injuries last
Ne'er recovering fully
So wear a helmet
Darren Jackson - on 24 Feb 2013
In reply to Jon Stewart:

I Googled haiku
translated from Japanese
bad grammar has it

... Prefer Pam Ayres, personally.
Jon Stewart - on 25 Feb 2013
In reply to Darren Jackson:

That is more like it
Our poetic spat was fun
Now I'm off to bed
kathrync - on 25 Feb 2013
In reply to JJL:

My time is not mine
University eats it
Roll on autumn!
kathrync - on 25 Feb 2013
In reply to Alyson:
> (In reply to JJL)
>
> I have two heartbeats
> A flutter like a wren's wing
> Winter defeated.

That is indeed lovely :o)
In reply to kathrync:
> (In reply to Alyson)
> [...]
>
> That is indeed lovely :o)

No it isn't - she's bloody tachycardic!
kathrync - on 25 Feb 2013
In reply to Submit to Gravity:
> (In reply to kathrync)
> [...]
>
> No it isn't - she's bloody tachycardic!

Or possibly pregnant?
ads.ukclimbing.com
kathrync - on 25 Feb 2013
In reply to kathrync:
> (In reply to JJL)
>
> My time is not mine
> University eats it
> Roll on autumn!

Damn, I missed a syllable!

My time is not mine
University eats it
Roll on September!

That's better :-)
CJD - on 25 Feb 2013
In reply to JJL:

When did time escape?
Chasing always after hope.
Clouds race by so fast.
JJL - on 25 Feb 2013
In reply to kathrync:
> (In reply to Submit to Gravity)
> [...]
>
> Or possibly pregnant?

That's what I thought
abseil on 25 Feb 2013
In reply to JJL:

I enjoy Findus
Now my life is galloping
And I nibble grass.
gribble - on 25 Feb 2013
In reply to JJL:

I've got the shits
My tummy hurts
Time to return to bed
Alyson - on 25 Feb 2013
In reply to kathrync:
> (In reply to Submit to Gravity)
> [...]
>
> Or possibly pregnant?

This one! But poetry should be open to interpretation so I'm also happy to be thought of as a time lord.
john arran - on 25 Feb 2013
In reply to JJL:

Whole life in Haiku?
As a candle to the sun
Richness deserves more
CJD - on 25 Feb 2013
In reply to john arran:

Nicely done.
Tom V - on 25 Feb 2013
In reply to JJL:

Subaru, Honda,
Suzuki, Mitsubishi;
Octavia mine.
Kemics - on 25 Feb 2013
In reply to JJL:

I'm playing a game
the rules I dont understand
at least it is fun
Tom V - on 25 Feb 2013
In reply to JJL:

Saucer shows tea leaves:
Starlings in a winter sky,
Twilight decisions.
johnjohn - on 25 Feb 2013
In reply to JJL:


fast ride down the moor
last jump landed, kinda, f*ck
ing thumb f*cking f*cked
Pero - on 25 Feb 2013
We try to escape
From the zeal of gravity
But Earth remains home
999thAndy on 25 Feb 2013
In reply to JJL:
Since September's sunshine
no outdoor climbing achieved
indoors only. Groaning*




*not like that, smut-meisters
Gordon Stainforth - on 25 Feb 2013
In reply to JJL:

Great thread passes time,
Much better than usual.
A refreshing change.
Pinged - on 25 Feb 2013
In reply to JJL:

Quiet ledge contemplation
The peace breaks
Boulderers have 'sent'
johnjohn - on 25 Feb 2013
In reply to Pinged:

From tha wikkeepee:

"The essence of haiku is "cutting" (kiru).This is often represented by the juxtaposition of two images or ideas and a kireji ("cutting word") between them, a kind of verbal punctuation mark which signals the moment of separation and colours the manner in which the juxtaposed elements are related.

Traditional haiku consist of 17 "on" (also known as morae [which we may as well equate to syllables), in three phrases of 5, 7 and 5 on respectively. Any one of the three phrases may end with the kireji."

so you can see that this:

fast ride down the moor
last jump landed, kinda, f*ck
ing thumb f*cking f*cked


follows the 5,7,5 rule, the justaposition being riding and injury; first f*ck being the kirenji...

Bradford Royal Infirmary on a Sunday whilst a rich source of images is harder to work into a haiku.


Pinged - on 25 Feb 2013
In reply to johnjohn:

ooohh..ok...mine was bloody miles off then!

Try again

My legde cold but quiet
contemplation and peace, mine
then someone 'sends'...whooop
AlisonSmiles - on 25 Feb 2013
In reply to Pero:

Nice.
In reply to JJL: Am I alone in thinking Haiku is a little bit shit?
ads.ukclimbing.com
CJD - on 25 Feb 2013
In reply to Submit to Gravity:

Possibly.
Offwidth - on 25 Feb 2013
In reply to JJL:

Thank you for this game
although not so important
a smile came to me

I was young and strong
now I am older and long
but I enjoy still
johnjohn - on 25 Feb 2013
In reply to Submit to Gravity:
> (In reply to JJL) Am I alone in thinking Haiku is a little bit shit?

Am i al-one?
In thinking Haiku is [sic]
A little bit shit


...works better in formal terms. The I contmplating being alone, and contemplating Haiku is the first strand, the mundane 'bit shit' the second, with my supplied 'sic' to denote incorrect singular in the original being the karenji.

Though perhaps loses the naive vibrancy of your original.

scoobydougan - on 25 Feb 2013
In reply to JJL:
We do what we can
running fast as the light goes
winter has it's charms
In reply to johnjohn: Excellent!
Pinged - on 25 Feb 2013
In reply to JJL:

Snowdrop, snowdrop spear
Winters heart. Illuminate
The path to springtime
JJL - on 25 Feb 2013
Mine (III):

Chemotherapy
Extraordinarily
Indiscriminate

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