/ Posse of psychic soldiers
a) be a soldier or ex-soldier
b) be psychic
I'm psychic and an ex-soldier so fit the criteria. The purpose to the band will be to stop war by using our psychic veteran powers to persuade the civilian population to abhor all forms of warfare and have casual sex with us.
Alyson told me there was some psychic soldiers about this parish so I thought it worth a shout.
Training will start with tai chi in Stanage Plantation Woods on the next full moon when it's not too cold.
Anyone want to join my posse?
Can I bring my banjo?
I forgot the smilies :-)
I'm going to watch The Men Who Stare At Goats tomorrow. Always makes me grin :-)
> Can I bring my banjo?
All non-violent forms of musical instrumentation will be welcomed.
Unfortunately I'm a bit of a veggie so staring goats to death will only be permitted when the psychic soldier in question is hungry.
Staring goats to death for fun will result in extras which will take the form of two hours of yoga and one hour of mediation behind the guardtree.
I was a soldier but have never been (nor foresee myself being) psychic. Can I still join, perhaps in some sort of support/logistics role? Or can I go through back-filled basic-psychic?
What are the T&Cs, service length, will I be eligible for an educational grant, and which branch of your psychic forces would you recommend if I want to spend most of my time climbing or riding horses around Hyde Park?
Hello David, your more than welcome to join! All soldiers are psychic, just some need a little more encouragement to fully realise their psychic potential.
Stop war. Get laid.
once you join you'll never want to leave, you couldn't anyway. That's the nature of psychic abilities.
will I be eligible for an educational grant,
Er, no sorry. It's all a bit Ad Hoc at the moment. I'll need to wait until I've got more recruits, then I'll be able to convince the civilian population to provide funding for educational grants.
and which branch of your psychic forces would you recommend if I want to spend most of my time climbing or riding horses around Hyde Park?
God's corps - also known as The Corps of Royal Psychic Engineers. Or the SAS - super army sychics.
My main concern is having to deal with BAPS, Burds Against Psychic Soldiers. Thier sole purpose in life is to disrupt pissed up.....I mean psychic squaddies, usually by means of their womanly assets, you know the sort, jiggling thier booblies in your face, hanging outside bars at closing time, jumping in your taxi and then covering you in lovebites by morning! We must be careful of this lot.......now, where do I sign up??
I wasn't in the army and I'm a girl, but I make a cracking cup of tea.
I spot a flaw in this cunning plan. As a psychic squaddie, would this mean that when I pull in whatever todays version of the Scorpion niteclub at Catterick, (shudder..) Is, I'll have a premonition of the horror that awaits when I wake in the morning?
I'm suing you for PTSD :-(
> I wasn't in the army and I'm a girl, but I make a cracking cup of tea.
The AGC can make tea?
You had me till the 'no girls' clause.
Can I bring my unicorn?
Come on chaps there's no point asking Shaun any questions is there? He's already read them, and if you're going to join in, you know the answers!
Andy - civvy scumbag to my core
I'm a girl too, and I protest at your no-girls clause. Why shouldn't girl soldiers also be psychic and want to see some in-the-plantation action?
I'm an old psychic arm chair climbing fart and know my way up every 8000m peak. My arm chair has also taken me to both Poles and the Moon. I've also read, from my arm chair, Spike Milligan's book on his part in Hitler's downfall, so my military knowledge is second to none. Casual sex in an armchair can be crowded but fun. I'm not a girl, so can I join?
I'm psychic and I therefore knew weeks ago that you would be posting this.
What's your definition of a 'soldier'? (I do know because I'm psychic, but want you to post it for the benefit of others). I'm not in the military but I am soldiering on.
PS I can prove I'm psychic. You are thinking about having a nice cup of tea. Correct?
PPS I have yet more proof:
 it will be ****ing cold in the Peaks tomorrow.
 Three Pebble Slab will soon be E1
This should leave us sufficient time to complete our mission.
I already asked that question, apparently my four months in the OTC don't count.
Well we'll see you when you get back soldier. Tea round here's shite.
> Can I bring my unicorn?
> I'm psychic and I therefore knew weeks ago that you would be posting this.
> What's your definition of a 'soldier'? (I do know because I'm psychic, but want you to post it for the benefit of others). I'm not in the military but I am soldiering on.
Hello fellow psyche. My definition of a 'soldier' is one who has served or is serving at least the minimum contract in one of the human earthling armies.
So you're welcome to join and cut about and have fun with us, you've just got to join an army first.
> I already asked that question, apparently my four months in the OTC don't count.
Thank you! I will join the French Foreign Legion right away at Fort de Nogent, 94120 Fontenay Sous Bois, Paris, serve 5 years and then I'll be back. See you! Keep a place for me for March 2018!
The most sane thing I have read in a long time.
Just compare it to the idiocy of 10 years ago 'Let's invade Iraq cos there are loads of WMD there, Iraqis will welcome us with open arms and peace will break out all over the Middle East'.
Don't worry, as a girl civilian you will be in on the peace rumpy-pumpy. What's not to like?
I think you'll find that jcm has spoken, and decreed that there is no such thing as sexism and so you shouldn't worry your pretty little head about things that are way too complicated for you. But it is kind of cute watching you try.
It was indeed that bad - they didn't just shoot bullets at us - they shot whole guns at us...
Thank you AGAIN! I've really keen... I'm going to teach my French Foreign Legion compadres [language?] knitting, and also go to Star Trek conventions with them as often as my duties allow. I'll post e-Xmas cards on UKC every year!
Crumbs, must have been almost like you were in the Army!
> Crumbs, must have been almost like you were in the Army!
That's exactly what it was like Tim. I couldn't believe it!
> That's exactly what it was like Tim. I couldn't believe it!
Yeah, down at the Recruitment Office, I bet no one warned you it might involve, like, wars and killing people and weird shit like that!
I am thinking of the phone number for you to call us on. If you can call us, you can join.. Peace!
Brilliant. You said "cut about"
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