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Topic - Trains and bikes rant

Tim Chappell - on 08 Mar 2013
To be honest I'm a bit too knackered to do a proper rant, but I'm sure there are others on here who will come at this with the requisite energy. I'll just supply some ingredient phrases about what happened to me today... So here we go:

--No train from Crowthorne to Reading for an hour so I cycled 9 miles to Reading in the pissing rain

--Stood on First GW from Reading to Paddington cos no seats and dripped

--Rode from Paddington to KGX in the pissing rain

--Attempted to board bike on 1100 to Edinburgh

--Narky female EC employee says "take your bike that way and put it in the guards' van"

--so I do, except the guards' van is locked so I can't, so I make sure it's on the train and retreat into the loo to try and get myself slightly drier

--while I'm in there I hear the guard announce on the tannoy that he's removed from the train "the bike that was blocking my doorway" (it wasn't)

--so I come out and try and put it back on

--and he tells me I can't because it's not booked

--and I say "but it doesn't need to be booked because it's a folding bike"

--and he says "the wheels are too big so it does need to be booked"

--and I say "you've got loads of room in your guards van, I can see through the window that there are no other bikes in there, so why don't we just leave this--or I can fold it up and put it anywhere else you'd like me to"

--and he says "the wheels are too big so it does need to be booked"

--and I say "I've never had this problem before. It's a folding bike, and I don't mind where it goes, and you don't have any problem fitting it on, so what's the problem?"

--and he says "the wheels are too big so it does need to be booked. Go and book it in the booking office"

--and I say "If I do that I'll miss this train"

--and he says "the wheels are too big so it does need to be booked"

--and I say "You're being incredibly petty about this. You could let me put my bike anywhere on this train and it would be fine. Instead you're making things worse for me because you're stressing me out and stopping me getting home, you're making things worse for your employers because you're making them look bad to their customers, and I don't really see how you're making anything better for yourself. Do you?"

--and he says "the wheels are too big so it does need to be booked"

So I caught the next train, and resolved to write to the Transport Minister. For all the good that will do.

Right, there you go, just add water and you've got a rant. Or maybe you don't even need the water by now :-)
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