/ Phrases you love

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Tim Chappell - on 07 Apr 2013
The linguistic tricks that make you giggle, or generally make the world a better place...

"I've lined up all my ducks in a row"

"Check it out"

"Avalanche poodle"

"Back home by six for tea and medals"

"More cunning than a fox with a Cambridge PhD in cunningology"

Most Blackadder refs in fact...
Sir Chasm - on 07 Apr 2013
In reply to Tim Chappell: Same again?
The Lemming - on 07 Apr 2013
In reply to Tim Chappell:

While you're down there. :-)
Tim Chappell - on 07 Apr 2013
In reply to The Lemming:

That's a Bowie reference, isn't it?
Tim Chappell - on 07 Apr 2013
In reply to Tim Chappell:

I've been known to play Quiet Coach Bingo for "Yah, darling, I'm on the train" too.
Chay - on 07 Apr 2013
In reply to Tim Chappell:

"As much use as a nuns tits"

"A well protected route" -That makes my world a better place.

"Ruby Murray" or "Andy Murray" if you're the modern sort.

"Sweating like a pig in a raincoat" (My very good friend trekking in south america)

C
Chay - on 07 Apr 2013
In reply to Tim Chappell: "You shlaaaaaaaaaaaaagg" (I'm a Gavin and Stacey fan).
Tom Last - on 07 Apr 2013
In reply to Tim Chappell:

"This that and the other"

"the doings"
Dom Whillans on 07 Apr 2013
In reply to Tim Chappell:

who's shoes are them boots?
you're as useful as a chocolate teapot
it's ALL disco
never trust a hippy
if brains were dynamite, you wouldn't have enough to blow your nose
Tim Chappell - on 07 Apr 2013
In reply to Chay:


You toiiiiilet! You fahkin toiiiiiiiilet!

Leave it Wayne e's nop werf it!
Tim Chappell - on 07 Apr 2013
In reply to Dom Whillans:
>
> if brains were dynamite, you wouldn't have enough to blow your nose



"So short he has turnups on his y-fronts"?

Chay - on 07 Apr 2013
In reply to Tim Chappell: "You're up and down like a pair of widow's knickers"
Tim Chappell - on 07 Apr 2013
In reply to Chay:


One does not simply walk into Mordor.
Tim Chappell - on 07 Apr 2013
In reply to Tim Chappell:


[As heard on the crux of Smith's Route:]

I suppose a screw's out of the question?
mickeyluv on 07 Apr 2013
In reply to Tim Chappell: Don't piss down my back and tell me its raining
Tim Chappell - on 07 Apr 2013
In reply to mickeyluv:

Ye'll have had yer tea.
lost1977 - on 07 Apr 2013
In reply to Tim Chappell:

let go of my ears i know what i'm doing
luke glaister - on 07 Apr 2013
In reply to Tim Chappell:
I sleapt like a log last night. I woke up on the fire...
As much use as a chocolate cock .
How can I saw like an eagle when I am working with blue tits.
Are u reading that paper your sat on.
Philip on 07 Apr 2013
In reply to Tim Chappell:
> (In reply to Chay)
>
>
> One does not simply walk into Mordor.

Wasn't this disproved in the later films. Sean Bean should have stuck to killing the French.
Darren Jackson - on 07 Apr 2013
In reply to Tim Chappell:

Is that an owl in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?
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Run_Ross_Run - on 07 Apr 2013
In reply to Tim Chappell:

Tw#t-licking-f#ck-pig is a personal fav.
redsonja - on 07 Apr 2013
In reply to Tim Chappell:
mega
far out
groovy
puppythedog on 07 Apr 2013
In reply to Tim Chappell:
"Groovy"
"I think you should go climbing, you know how you get when you don't"
incog - on 07 Apr 2013
In reply to Darren Jackson: Or the Blackadder version (spoken by Rick Mayall/Flasheart to Nursie) 'Is this a canoe in my pocket or am I just pleased to see you?'

Another favourite from Blackadder...'as capacious as an elephant's scrotum' describing the size of his wealthy uncle's wallet.

A classic attributed (I think) to Spike Milligan, on seeing the famously lined and wrinkled face of W H Auden (google an image)... 'if that's his face what must his scrotum be like?'
Chay - on 07 Apr 2013
In reply to Tim Chappell: "The demise of fingering has led to chaos in the UK!" - Micky Flanagan.
rocky57 - on 07 Apr 2013
In reply to Chay:

I actually said that way before he'd even thought of it.
Bobling - on 07 Apr 2013
In reply to Tim Chappell:

Mad as a cut snake
Too easy
mrbrian6 - on 07 Apr 2013
In reply to Tim Chappell: all the breaking strain of a warm kit kat
puppythedog on 07 Apr 2013
In reply to Tim Chappell:
as nutty as squirrel shit
Jimbo C - on 07 Apr 2013
In reply to Tim Chappell:

'sweating like a blind lesbian in a fish shop'

Stolen from a friend of mine (sorry)
Blue Straggler - on 07 Apr 2013
In reply to Tim Chappell:

"this user is restricted from posting"
dek - on 07 Apr 2013
In reply to Tim Chappell:

He's got the backbone of a jellyfish.

A face like a Witch Doctors Cane.
Tony Naylor on 07 Apr 2013
In reply to Tim Chappell:
Not common parlance, but a mate of mine had some that should have been:

On a Land Rover without power steering: "Like trying to drive the Bank of England".

On a particularly awkward piece of software: "As friendly as a cornered rat".

On a similarly awkward piece of hardware: "If I had one of them, I'd swap it for a mad dog".
elsewhere on 08 Apr 2013
In reply to Tim Chappell:
Dialects are fun, otherwise mainly in jokes for friends or family.

Idioms that seem weirdly English but are sometimes much more international than you think - spin in grave is the same in German.
Tom V - on 08 Apr 2013
In reply to Chay:

I think the similar "Up and down like a bride's nightie" got Pattie Coldwell the sack from Radio 2.
GrendeI on 08 Apr 2013
In reply to Tim Chappell:

On frustrating/ incompetent people in general... 'Un-f*ck yourself.'

On the range... 'Brassed up.'

On stuff... 'If you can't duck it, f*ck it'

Also, 'If it moves but shouldn't, duck'tape, if it doesn't move but should, WD40.'

On things that just should not be...'Sink/scuttle that ship.'

On someone who is over excitable, angry, pissed off, generally not shutting up or drinking too much...'Belt-fed.'

On something that needs fixing... 'Remedy this/that.'

And a lyrical one.... 'Dig up the bones, but leave the soul alone.'

For lost... 'Topographically absent.'

To do something ballsy... 'Off safe.'

To do something awesome... 'Ninja.'
NeilMac - on 08 Apr 2013
In reply to Tim Chappell:

"...well you can't fit a ferret in a tea cup, lad".
GrendeI on 08 Apr 2013
In reply to elsewhere: Talking of german...

'Stille Wasser sind tief' love that phrase
Chay - on 08 Apr 2013
In reply to Tim Chappell: A friend of mine is reffered to as "Mad as a box of frogs" very often; I do like that phrase.

C
MonkeyPuzzle - on 08 Apr 2013
In reply to Chay:

Mad as a bag of wet mice?

For someone in a mood: Go and take your face for a shit.

To someone having an epic/making a mess of something: How's that working for you?
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Blue Straggler - on 08 Apr 2013
In reply to Tim Chappell:

Cock monkey
MJ - on 08 Apr 2013
In reply to Tim Chappell:

Probably cheating, but: -

"Come on arms, do your stuff"
Run_Ross_Run - on 08 Apr 2013
In reply to Tim Chappell:

'Drip tray' is another, used to descride a certain type of lady.
Troy Tempest - on 08 Apr 2013
In reply to Tim Chappell: S'up Brah! must be shouted
Troy Tempest - on 08 Apr 2013
In reply to Tim Chappell: "I ain't got time bleed" plus most of the Predator script
Enty - on 08 Apr 2013
In reply to Tim Chappell:

She had a face like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle.

He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.

E
idiotproof (Buxton MC) - on 08 Apr 2013
In reply to Mighty Max:

"Easy Peasey, squeeze the lemon"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kKeB82retLs

Tom Last - on 08 Apr 2013
In reply to Tim Chappell:

"Fit as a butcher's dog."
999thAndy on 08 Apr 2013
In reply to Tim Chappell:
An ex-colleague used to chant "Rah-Rah Racoon-shit" to the tune of Boney M's Rasputin, when something went well for him (we didn't hear it that often TBH)
Tim Chappell - on 08 Apr 2013
In reply to 999thAndy:


"So why not cut out the middle man and just join the Nazi Party?"
Pete Dangerous - on 08 Apr 2013
"Well that's as much use as Anne Frank's drum kit"
Kemics - on 08 Apr 2013
In reply to Tim Chappell:

I like as a comical insult: "you smelly pirate hooker"

If you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much room!

Short arms and deep pockets....bone shakingly stingy.
alooker - on 08 Apr 2013
In reply to Tim Chappell: that's rarer than rocking horse shite, that
Big Jim The Climber - on 08 Apr 2013
In reply to Tim Chappell:
Your about as welcome as a fart in a space suit.

Your like a fart in a colander wondering which hole to come out of.

Said the actress to the Bishop

Sweating like a Geordie (or other regional person) in a spelling test
GrahamD - on 08 Apr 2013
In reply to Tim Chappell:

"GFS" - abbreviation reputeably banned from being put on patients notes at Addenbrokes Hospital, Cambridge meaning " Good Fen Stock" meaning thick as pig shit.
Tim Chappell - on 08 Apr 2013
In reply to GrahamD:


And one from the N & N hospital in Norwich... "NfN" on patients' notes means "normal for Norfolk"
nightmonkeyuk - on 08 Apr 2013
In reply to Tim Chappell:

..."If it had a pulse, he'd either f*ck it or cook it"

MonkeyPuzzle - on 08 Apr 2013
In reply to Tim Chappell:

If you found this on your medical chart I'd hold off on booking that holiday - CTP = Circling the Plughole.
MJ - on 08 Apr 2013
In reply to MonkeyPuzzle:

If you found this on your medical chart I'd hold off on booking that holiday - CTP = Circling the Plughole.

I nick named my Grandfather 'Spiderman'. Not because of any super powers he might have accidentally gained , but more because he couldn't get out of the bath unassisted.
Rachael A - on 08 Apr 2013
In reply to NeilMac on - 00:34 Mon

"...well you can't fit a ferret in a tea cup, lad"

I like this but in what context would you use it?
Sam Beaton on 08 Apr 2013
In reply to Tim Chappell:

"It's looking a bit grey over our Bill's mother's" (meaning the weather is closing in)

"he can't decide whether he needs a sh1t or a haircut" (meaning he's a bit indecisive)

both heard frequently in my office in Sheffield
teflonpete - on 08 Apr 2013
In reply to Tim Chappell:

"Made of case hardened dog sh1t"
NorthernGrit - on 08 Apr 2013
In reply to Tim Chappell:

a face only a mother could love.
nrhardy - on 08 Apr 2013
In reply to Tim Chappell: Wetter than an otter's pocket.
Clarence - on 08 Apr 2013
In reply to Tim Chappell:

"The standup and aim-its" referring to people who are so common as to not get out of the bath for a pee.

"Funty" from "Funty cart" used to describe little cars with big sound systems and lots of cheap fibreglass modifications driven by 17 year old standup-and-aim-its.

"Pigstopper" - knock kneed.

"Pigfluffer" - someone who would do anything to get on TV, named after Rebecca Loos on Celebrity Farm.

"Failed the audition for Fingerbobs" - someone who can't be bothered to lift a finger.
paul-1970 - on 08 Apr 2013
In reply to Tim Chappell:
"Have you heard that Thatcher's dead?"
John_Hat - on 08 Apr 2013
In reply to Tim Chappell:

"Nuke it from orbit, its the only way to be sure"

"could't find his own @rse with both hands and a flashlight"

"the kind of stage presence that packs the toilets"
RKernan - on 08 Apr 2013
In reply to Tim Chappell:

Colder than a well-digger's arse
Wind yer neck in
Catch yourself on
Deeper in denial than an Egyptian diver

Madder than a:
a.) bag of spiders
b.) goat in a wheelie bin

or the classic exclamation

Christ on a bike!
JJL - on 08 Apr 2013
In reply to Tim Chappell:

Get a grip of your knickers

Dashing around like a scorched earwig

All fur coat and no knickers
itchy bum, things to come, nearer the hole, the bigger the sum

Oujmik - on 08 Apr 2013
In reply to Tim Chappell: Most things said by Jens Voight

http://teamjva.com/jens-voigt-soundboard/

And also, a recent invention "[let] the monkeys take you/it/them!" as a dismissal or condemnation of anything. Should be said in the style of a pirate for maximum effect.
Fat Bumbly2 - on 08 Apr 2013
1980s back in the news - from 2000AD at that time.

"Eat plutonium death you alien wierdos".
"Nuke your parents"
Baron Weasel - on 08 Apr 2013
In reply to Fat Bumbly2: 'Jane, bury me in a Y shaped coffin Ethrington... she bangs like a privy door when the plauges in town.'

BW
Max factor - on 08 Apr 2013
In reply to Tim Chappell:
Instead of rain on your parade and similar idioms, I like "I don't want to shit on your chips, but..."

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