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Spontanteous presentation of flowers to the Mrs. (not ex. graveyard or anything) - her response
"They are lovely. Who is she? what have you done wrong?".
Sigh.
Women eh?
LD
"They are lovely. Who is she? what have you done wrong?".
Sigh.
Women eh?
LD
In reply to Lurking Dave:
When I first started seeing Mrs TC we still worked at the same office and I thought it would be nice to send her some flowers.
Got a call from a mate on security to say she had just been called to collect them and they hadn't gone down that well.
She'd been with someone long term before me who had never done that sort of thing, and the combination of surprise and embarrassment factor of walking back through the office had been a bit of an unknown to her and had put her on the spot a bit.
I never, ever imagined ever having to say the words "I'm sorry I sent you flowers", but there you go.
Course, she loves it now and demands it regularly....
When I first started seeing Mrs TC we still worked at the same office and I thought it would be nice to send her some flowers.
Got a call from a mate on security to say she had just been called to collect them and they hadn't gone down that well.
She'd been with someone long term before me who had never done that sort of thing, and the combination of surprise and embarrassment factor of walking back through the office had been a bit of an unknown to her and had put her on the spot a bit.
I never, ever imagined ever having to say the words "I'm sorry I sent you flowers", but there you go.
Course, she loves it now and demands it regularly....
In reply to Lurking Dave:
there shoukd be a name for the interval of time between where a lady is excited about the flowers, picking a vase etc, and when they become a curse of cleaning up dropped dead petals, gangy water etc.
there shoukd be a name for the interval of time between where a lady is excited about the flowers, picking a vase etc, and when they become a curse of cleaning up dropped dead petals, gangy water etc.
In reply to Lurking Dave:
I remember Mr TC bringing me flowers at work one day and whilst I took it as a lovely gesture, my colleagues were all asking 'what's he done?' Bit harsh, I thought.
I remember Mr TC bringing me flowers at work one day and whilst I took it as a lovely gesture, my colleagues were all asking 'what's he done?' Bit harsh, I thought.
In reply to Lurking Dave:
My grandad, used to be a world renouned horticulturalist, (President of the Royal Horticurtural Society, and Head of Parks and Gardens in Bexley, SE london) He used to bring home a bunch every Friday, and I'm told there was NEVER a cross word spoken between my Nan and him. The only thing that irritated my mother about this was his insistence in calling everything by the latin name.
Me, I try to bring a bunch home every now and then, and it seems to have a good effect. I've learnt to NEVER bring flowers if I need to appologise. Particularly roses, as the thorns hurt.
My grandad, used to be a world renouned horticulturalist, (President of the Royal Horticurtural Society, and Head of Parks and Gardens in Bexley, SE london) He used to bring home a bunch every Friday, and I'm told there was NEVER a cross word spoken between my Nan and him. The only thing that irritated my mother about this was his insistence in calling everything by the latin name.
Me, I try to bring a bunch home every now and then, and it seems to have a good effect. I've learnt to NEVER bring flowers if I need to appologise. Particularly roses, as the thorns hurt.
In reply to Tall Clare:
There seems to be a bit naming clash here, doesn't there...
> (In reply to Lurking Dave)
>
> I remember Mr TC bringing me flowers at work one day and whilst I took it as a lovely gesture, my colleagues were all asking 'what's he done?' Bit harsh, I thought.
>
> I remember Mr TC bringing me flowers at work one day and whilst I took it as a lovely gesture, my colleagues were all asking 'what's he done?' Bit harsh, I thought.
There seems to be a bit naming clash here, doesn't there...
In reply to Lurking Dave:
I like getting flowers, but I prefer getting a flowering plant.
What would be perfect would be something that could eventually go in the garden and I could appreciate for a long time, rather than cut flowers that seem to last a very short time indeed.
LD, how often do you buy flowers for Mrs LD? is doing so a bit out of character?
I like getting flowers, but I prefer getting a flowering plant.
What would be perfect would be something that could eventually go in the garden and I could appreciate for a long time, rather than cut flowers that seem to last a very short time indeed.
LD, how often do you buy flowers for Mrs LD? is doing so a bit out of character?
In reply to Lurking Dave:
She is a miserable cow.
Flowers are a lovely gift to receive spontaneously. I love fresh flowers and can never get enough of them. Many guys seem to follow the "but they'll only die, what's the point?" school of thought. For me, however, MASSIVE Brownie points.
She is a miserable cow.
Flowers are a lovely gift to receive spontaneously. I love fresh flowers and can never get enough of them. Many guys seem to follow the "but they'll only die, what's the point?" school of thought. For me, however, MASSIVE Brownie points.
In reply to Lurking Dave:
I may be a tad bias but I think men should often spontaneously buy their lady flowers its nice.
however I do understand your point I do have some clients who only come in when they are in trouble.
I may be a tad bias but I think men should often spontaneously buy their lady flowers its nice.
however I do understand your point I do have some clients who only come in when they are in trouble.
In reply to Hannah S:
How do you know? Do they tell you?
> (In reply to Lurking Dave)
> I do have some clients who only come in when they are in trouble.
> I do have some clients who only come in when they are in trouble.
How do you know? Do they tell you?
In reply to Hannah S:
So man gets out of pocket - there should be reciprocal rights if we wish to have an equal society.
> (In reply to Lurking Dave)
> I may be a tad bias but I think men should often spontaneously buy their lady flowers its nice.
> I may be a tad bias but I think men should often spontaneously buy their lady flowers its nice.
So man gets out of pocket - there should be reciprocal rights if we wish to have an equal society.
In reply to Lurking Dave: My Missus always appreciates it when I take the trouble to get her flowers. I never use them as a 'sorry I've done something' softener so they always go down well. As it so happens I have a surprise for her tonight.....she gave up chocolate and cake for lent which also happened to span her birthday so she didn't have a birthday cake. I asked someone at work to make me a Victoria sponge (her favourite) which he brought in this morning so hopefully this will make her smile
In reply to Lurking Dave:
I miss flowers. But then again I can fork out £3 for the tulips I noticed Tesco have on offer ...
I miss flowers. But then again I can fork out £3 for the tulips I noticed Tesco have on offer ...
My wife gets a bouquet about every 3 weeks - they usually last for about 2, so I buy the next lot once she's chucked them out. I always get a positive reaction, although if I arrange them and put them in the lounge she sometimes fails to notice for a few hours.
Recently she's been getting them monthly with the florist adding 1 extra rose for each month of the pregnancy. She's just had 9 for the start of month 9 and is now trying to guess what she gets (a) if it's late, (b) when it comes.
Recently she's been getting them monthly with the florist adding 1 extra rose for each month of the pregnancy. She's just had 9 for the start of month 9 and is now trying to guess what she gets (a) if it's late, (b) when it comes.
In reply to grumpybearpantsclimbinggoat:
I agree. My ex didn't want flowers but did want spontaneous Terry's Chocolate Oranges. I was happy to oblige.
> (In reply to Hannah S)
> [...]
>
> So man gets out of pocket - there should be reciprocal rights if we wish to have an equal society.
> [...]
>
> So man gets out of pocket - there should be reciprocal rights if we wish to have an equal society.
I agree. My ex didn't want flowers but did want spontaneous Terry's Chocolate Oranges. I was happy to oblige.
In reply to AlisonSmiles:
Yup. With you there.
> (In reply to Lurking Dave)
>
> I miss flowers. But then again I can fork out £3 for the tulips I noticed Tesco have on offer ...
>
> I miss flowers. But then again I can fork out £3 for the tulips I noticed Tesco have on offer ...
Yup. With you there.
Laying down some "ground rules" with the ex, one thing I said was "look, I just don't do flowers or jewelry and that is one of the things you'll have to accept" and she agreed.
A few weeks later she was on the phone to tell me that her friend's husband had got her friend a huge bouquet to mark her return to work after maternity leave, and she (the ex) felt so sad that she'll never ever get such a thing. I was brusque in response....but took flowers (just cheap ones, as I am cheap) next time I saw her.
Was she grateful to me for the huge compromise and my "going against my own values", or did she say "well you only got them because I had to beg for them"?
Have a bloody guess.
A few weeks later she was on the phone to tell me that her friend's husband had got her friend a huge bouquet to mark her return to work after maternity leave, and she (the ex) felt so sad that she'll never ever get such a thing. I was brusque in response....but took flowers (just cheap ones, as I am cheap) next time I saw her.
Was she grateful to me for the huge compromise and my "going against my own values", or did she say "well you only got them because I had to beg for them"?
Have a bloody guess.
In reply to Blue Straggler:
Just wondering what form her agreement took. Was it the I'm over a barrel, and not actually being given a say kind of an agreement or did she say oh no dearest I really hate flowers, please never insult me with such things ...
> and she agreed.
>
>
Just wondering what form her agreement took. Was it the I'm over a barrel, and not actually being given a say kind of an agreement or did she say oh no dearest I really hate flowers, please never insult me with such things ...
In reply to AlisonSmiles: I may be feeling a little bitter ...
In reply to Lurking Dave:
Call me an old romantic but I frequently buy my wife flowers....from the supermarket....on the joint account
Call me an old romantic but I frequently buy my wife flowers....from the supermarket....on the joint account
In reply to AlisonSmiles:
Look, I had already compromised my principles by going to the Elgar Museum instead of climbing on a lovely sunny Bank Holiday. Compromise is about "meeting halfway" and not about "totally caving in to all the childish wishes of an insane girl"
Look, I had already compromised my principles by going to the Elgar Museum instead of climbing on a lovely sunny Bank Holiday. Compromise is about "meeting halfway" and not about "totally caving in to all the childish wishes of an insane girl"
In reply to Blue Straggler:
Whilst I do understand a guy's aversion to flower buying if he thinks it's a waste of money because they die, what's your objection to jewellery? Or was that just a random example? In other words, are you saying you will never buy a girl a spontaneous gift?
Whilst I do understand a guy's aversion to flower buying if he thinks it's a waste of money because they die, what's your objection to jewellery? Or was that just a random example? In other words, are you saying you will never buy a girl a spontaneous gift?
In reply to Blue Straggler:
Now that's just bloody stupid
> (In reply to AlisonSmiles)
>
> Look, I had already compromised my principles by going to the Elgar Museum instead of climbing on a lovely sunny Bank Holiday.
>
> Look, I had already compromised my principles by going to the Elgar Museum instead of climbing on a lovely sunny Bank Holiday.
Now that's just bloody stupid
In reply to Lurking Dave: If you Lurve someone you do things for them, not for yourself! Seeing a smile on their face is the bestest thing ever!
In reply to Ava Adore:
Crikey that's some mighty extrapolation.
No
> In other words, are you saying you will never buy a girl a spontaneous gift?
Crikey that's some mighty extrapolation.
No
In reply to John Lewis:
I've tried that line of reasoning. Sadly she still won't set up a threesome with a hot mate... ;oP
> (In reply to Lurking Dave) If you Lurve someone you do things for them, not for yourself! Seeing a smile on their face is the bestest thing ever!
I've tried that line of reasoning. Sadly she still won't set up a threesome with a hot mate... ;oP
In reply to Ava Adore: Don't lose hope for him - he may be the bringer of chocolate ...
In reply to Blue Straggler:
Don't get me wrong, I'm not having a go. I'm just curious to know what you think flowers and jewellery represent that other spontaneous gifts don't.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not having a go. I'm just curious to know what you think flowers and jewellery represent that other spontaneous gifts don't.
In reply to Ava Adore:
You are overthinking this.
Nowhere do I mention "what something represents" nor even any aversion to purchasing.
I wrote:
"look, I just don't do flowers or jewelry and that is one of the things you'll have to accept"
You are overthinking this.
Nowhere do I mention "what something represents" nor even any aversion to purchasing.
I wrote:
"look, I just don't do flowers or jewelry and that is one of the things you'll have to accept"
In reply to Blue Straggler:
Why not, though? I'd be a bit leery of buying jewellery because I'm not sure I'd choose the right thing and it's potentially a lot of money to waste on something that she doesn't actually like, but flowers are comparatively cheap and a total no-brainer. Although in my grilf's case she'd probably prefer the sort that you plant out in the garden to the sort that you stick in a vase.
Why not, though? I'd be a bit leery of buying jewellery because I'm not sure I'd choose the right thing and it's potentially a lot of money to waste on something that she doesn't actually like, but flowers are comparatively cheap and a total no-brainer. Although in my grilf's case she'd probably prefer the sort that you plant out in the garden to the sort that you stick in a vase.
In reply to Ramblin dave:
I refer you to the OP and I bid farewell to the thread
> (In reply to Blue Straggler)
> Why not, though?
> Why not, though?
I refer you to the OP and I bid farewell to the thread
In reply to Ramblin dave:
I think that's the key - knowing what your partner likes and wants. Clearly the OP's partner isn't wanting/expecting flowers, so don't buy them.
> (In reply to Blue Straggler)
> Although in my grilf's case she'd probably prefer the sort that you plant out in the garden to the sort that you stick in a vase.
> Although in my grilf's case she'd probably prefer the sort that you plant out in the garden to the sort that you stick in a vase.
I think that's the key - knowing what your partner likes and wants. Clearly the OP's partner isn't wanting/expecting flowers, so don't buy them.
In reply to Blue Straggler:
Apart from this slight return just to say:
I beg your pardon?
I never promised you a rose garden
:-P
> (In reply to Ramblin dave)
> [...]
>
> I refer you to the OP and I bid farewell to the thread
> [...]
>
> I refer you to the OP and I bid farewell to the thread
Apart from this slight return just to say:
I beg your pardon?
I never promised you a rose garden
:-P
In reply to Lurking Dave:
Buy Potatoes not flowers as a gift. Totally stolen, but I always liked the logic here -
Why Potatoes Make a Better Love Symbol Than Roses
The first reason is that roses only last a couple weeks and that’s if you leave them in water. That’s like saying “My love for you is transitory.” But a potato! Potatoes last for a long time. In fact, not only will they not rot, but they actually grow stuff even if you just leave them in the sack! That part alone makes it a good symbol. But wait, there’s more!
There are so many ways to enjoy a potato! You can even make a battery with it! That’s like saying: “I have many ways in which I show my love for you”.
Flowers really only exist to be pretty, so that’s like saying: “My love for you is based solely on your appearance.” Potatoes may be ugly, but they’re still awesome. So that’s like saying: “It doesn’t matter at all what you look like, I’ll still love you.”
For these reasons and more, we would like to see potatoes become the mainstream symbol for love and friendship.
Buy Potatoes not flowers as a gift. Totally stolen, but I always liked the logic here -
Why Potatoes Make a Better Love Symbol Than Roses
The first reason is that roses only last a couple weeks and that’s if you leave them in water. That’s like saying “My love for you is transitory.” But a potato! Potatoes last for a long time. In fact, not only will they not rot, but they actually grow stuff even if you just leave them in the sack! That part alone makes it a good symbol. But wait, there’s more!
There are so many ways to enjoy a potato! You can even make a battery with it! That’s like saying: “I have many ways in which I show my love for you”.
Flowers really only exist to be pretty, so that’s like saying: “My love for you is based solely on your appearance.” Potatoes may be ugly, but they’re still awesome. So that’s like saying: “It doesn’t matter at all what you look like, I’ll still love you.”
For these reasons and more, we would like to see potatoes become the mainstream symbol for love and friendship.
In reply to Kemics:
I'd just see that as a symbol of.. cook my dinner women!
They'd make good missiles
I'd just see that as a symbol of.. cook my dinner women!
They'd make good missiles
In reply to Blue Straggler:
Yeah, that would have been great if you'd thought of it before you stropped off
> (In reply to Blue Straggler)
> [...]
>
> Apart from this slight return just to say:
>
> I beg your pardon?
> I never promised you a rose garden
>
> :-P
> [...]
>
> Apart from this slight return just to say:
>
> I beg your pardon?
> I never promised you a rose garden
>
> :-P
Yeah, that would have been great if you'd thought of it before you stropped off
In reply to Kemics:
i cant see it catching on.
"Happy Valentines dear: here's a king edward"
Hmm, maybe not.
i cant see it catching on.
"Happy Valentines dear: here's a king edward"
Hmm, maybe not.
In reply to nightmonkeyuk:
To quote "It doesn’t matter at all what you look like, I’ll still love you".
Lead balloon anyone?
> (In reply to Kemics)
>
> i cant see it catching on.
>
> "Happy Valentines dear: here's a king edward"
>
> Hmm, maybe not.
>
> i cant see it catching on.
>
> "Happy Valentines dear: here's a king edward"
>
> Hmm, maybe not.
To quote "It doesn’t matter at all what you look like, I’ll still love you".
Lead balloon anyone?
In reply to Kemics:
Flowers make far more scense when you remember that they are the sex organs of a plant. Potatoes reproduce asexually, which is probably what you'd have to do if you bought her a sack of spuds as a pressie.
> (In reply to Lurking Dave)
>
> Buy Potatoes not flowers as a gift...
>
> Buy Potatoes not flowers as a gift...
Flowers make far more scense when you remember that they are the sex organs of a plant. Potatoes reproduce asexually, which is probably what you'd have to do if you bought her a sack of spuds as a pressie.
In reply to nightmonkeyuk:
He could try a Desiree, that might give half a chance
> (In reply to Kemics)
>
> i cant see it catching on.
>
> "Happy Valentines dear: here's a king edward"
>
> Hmm, maybe not.
>
> i cant see it catching on.
>
> "Happy Valentines dear: here's a king edward"
>
> Hmm, maybe not.
He could try a Desiree, that might give half a chance
In reply to grumpybearpantsclimbinggoat:
A lead balloon will probably go down better than she would.
A lead balloon will probably go down better than she would.
In reply to nightmonkeyuk:
How about a Prince Albert instead?
> (In reply to Kemics)
>
> i cant see it catching on.
>
> "Happy Valentines dear: here's a king edward"
>
> Hmm, maybe not.
>
> i cant see it catching on.
>
> "Happy Valentines dear: here's a king edward"
>
> Hmm, maybe not.
How about a Prince Albert instead?
In reply to Chris the Tall:
I pick mine by hand, there's loads tied to lamposts on the A595.
> (In reply to Lurking Dave)
> Call me an old romantic but I frequently buy my wife flowers....from the supermarket....on the joint account
> Call me an old romantic but I frequently buy my wife flowers....from the supermarket....on the joint account
I pick mine by hand, there's loads tied to lamposts on the A595.
In reply to Lurking Dave:
I buy her flowers every now & again, as I know she likes them, and making her happy makes me happy. Soppy, but it works for me.
I buy her flowers every now & again, as I know she likes them, and making her happy makes me happy. Soppy, but it works for me.
In reply to Lurking Dave:
I often feel that men don't get enough credit for buying flowers. Thing is, to most men, flowers are totally pointless. "Oh look, a bunch of chopped-off and dying plant genetalia in water. lovely".
For most men, they fit somewhere near the utility of buying as a present a pen that doesn't work or a CD with a big scratch across it that cannot play.
Hence a bloke buying flowers is amazing and against everything they hold dear and value, and says "today I live by your value system, not mine".
I feel that this is often not as appreciated as it could be. *grins*
Lady Blue, of course, massively values the flowers she gets, and I love her for it
I often feel that men don't get enough credit for buying flowers. Thing is, to most men, flowers are totally pointless. "Oh look, a bunch of chopped-off and dying plant genetalia in water. lovely".
For most men, they fit somewhere near the utility of buying as a present a pen that doesn't work or a CD with a big scratch across it that cannot play.
Hence a bloke buying flowers is amazing and against everything they hold dear and value, and says "today I live by your value system, not mine".
I feel that this is often not as appreciated as it could be. *grins*
Lady Blue, of course, massively values the flowers she gets, and I love her for it
In reply to Lurking Dave:
Mrs W always says that flowers are better viewed growing in a garden and she'd rather have a bottle of liebfraumilch bought for her. suits me fine, shes very easily pleased is Mrs W, hence she married me
Mrs W always says that flowers are better viewed growing in a garden and she'd rather have a bottle of liebfraumilch bought for her. suits me fine, shes very easily pleased is Mrs W, hence she married me
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