/ Top tip of the day.....
Don't have your car/house keys in the same hand as a bottle that you are just going to put into the massive/unable to get into green glass collector.......
Friend of my wife did something similar - tossed her keys into a big communal bin at her flat along with her rubbish
Climbed into the bin, and realised that to get to her keys she'd have to empty said bin of other rubbish bags.
Found her keys
And then found that she couldn't now get out of the almost empty bin
Don't put car keys for a Land Rover Discovery (300tdi for those who care) just inside the door frame of the boot on a windy day. Door slams shut after a gust, central locking thingy engages and locks you out.
Also, it's a long walk out of Cwm Eigiau...
Don't leave hire car keys on the seat and close the door as you grab a cheeky last hour at Gaillands on your way to the airport!
My wife once did that with my wallet - bottle in one hand, wallet in the other, put the wrong thing in the bin at a motorway service station in France.
Luckily it was fairly empty and I was able to fish it out with a tent pole.
> Don't put car keys for a Land Rover Discovery (300tdi for those who care) just inside the door frame of the boot on a windy day. Door slams shut after a gust, central locking thingy engages and locks you out.
Don't stand a milk carton on the rear bumper of a Discovery with the door open, if it's windy; door slams, milk goes everywhere.
This also happened in Cwm Eigiau
Don't take a Discovery to Cwm Eigiau?
Have seen a family friend have to run to stop things falling out when on holiday. (:-))
Oh.... and don't wipe your arse with a broken bottle..
that is a piece of advice that sort of rings true whatever the situation...
or slam down the boot (on which the supports have broken so there's nothing to slow it down on the way down) while your friends fingers are still in it near the hinge......
....that bloody hurt! And then it was ME looking after the hysterical friend while my hand was still trapped!
If you are opening a roll-over garage door, made with those horizontal slat thingies that concertina together as it goes up, use the handle: don't put your fingers in between the slats.
Waiting for the sensation of ten crushed finger-tips to go away was one of the longest evenings of my life, even with painkillers.
When closing the tailgate of your van using the pull down strap; make sure you step back far enough as you do it!
Make sure you don't come up behind your Dad when he shuts the estate boot - you'll end up with stitches in your head!
Don't (on your wedding day at the reception and after a few drinks) show your friends the Audi R8 you've hired for the day, lean in and rev it up, somehow slip it into gear and watch it fly across the road into a brick wall. Get arrested for being drunk in charge of a car, be uninsured as a result, and receive an invoice from the hire car company for the thick end of £100k.
Not me but a hell of way to start married life.
Where's that story from?!
Don't do a Brian Harvey :-)
If you have been fannying around with taking your nicer pair of specs off and putting them on and taking them off, en route to Chamonix, don't leave them in the roof rail before getting back in the car for the next stretch of fast toll road. They are unlikely to reach Chamonix with you.
Don't leave your car keys at work and your house keys in the car (me yesterday).
Maybe the best tip of all would be to get some new keys cut as spares, I'm sick of being locked out of the car or the house!
Oh, another good one for people with too much time on their hands. Fix a folded out coat hanger to some part of your cars exterior. Mines tucked under the back bumper and I'm anticipating the smugness I'll enjoy next time I drop my keys down a drain.
But on the other hand:
When setting off for the Fannaichs with your skis strapped on your back, don't worry at all about putting a krab that you ended up not needing to bind them in, on the bonnet of your car. It will disappear for a few weeks, true, but this is no problem, because it will eventually pop up on the passenger seat after you've had the car serviced :-)
Unfortunately it's true; happened just down the road from me
> Don't have your car/house keys in the same hand as a bottle that you are just going to put into the massive/unable to get into green glass collector.......
Have you received a fine for putting metal in with glass yet?
Don't decide it will be a good idea to change all your password - when pissed!
Don't lick the water droplets off a recently boiled kettle.
Hmmm, I'm somewhat sceptical here; this is only really a top tip for people who actually do keep poo in thier pockets...
Top tip? Of very limited use, i'm afraid.
Top tip #1.9; Don't keep any poo in your pocket(s)
You'll never catch us <<whatever you call people who don't carry poo in thier pockets>> just chucking our car keys in a doggy bin! I rest my case.
Don't take your scruffy trousers off in a client's car park, shut the boot then go to the passenger door to put your work trousers AND expect the car not to lock itself during the short walk.
Further more do not expect sympathy from said client when you walk into reception is just boxer shorts and socks and ask to borrow a set of overalls.
> Don't take a Discovery to Cwm Eigiau?
More like don't buy a Discovery. Huge flappy rear doors are one of the silliest ideas car designers have ever conceived,
.....Don't pick Mrs. Num Num's car keys out of the ashtray
I'm actually seriously considering getting all old skool and attaching a length of elastic to my keys & wallet & threading them through my coat sleeves.
As it is, my house keys are on a lanyard thing and car keys on an old krab, which clips to the lanyard....and just as well, on several occasions: quite hard to lose (especially if you wear it round your neck like a dork). Not impossible, but difficult...
Do not leave the "d" off "card" when posting.
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