UKC

Today's pondering is about sentiment and its purpose.

Why do we feel sentimental about what are often pretty arbitrary objects? Why do some people hang on to everything, whilst others can happily live out of a rucksack - but those latter people might still hang on to some small item that's seemingly meaningless?

Thoughts prompted by us (finally, after two years in this house) installing wardrobes - I'm having a clearout as I hang things, and there's one dress I'm reluctant to send to charity but which doesn't fit me any more. It's a dress I made for my graduation ball, that I'm very unlikely to ever wear again, but something seems to be stopping me from discarding it as freely as other worn-out clothes.

Any answers?

In reply to Tall Clare:

I had a nightmare the other night that my house was on fire. However, with typical dreamland logic, it was contained behind a door to my cellar (which I don't have) thus giving me a bit of time to collect my valuables.

The first thing (in my dream) I went for was a wooden cigarette box that used to belong to my mum. After that, I decided I would take all my running gear with me.

Clearly I don't have much sentimental attachment to stuff

In reply to Tall Clare: You have memories that that dress invokes, same as i get from some of my event polo shirts, i guess it i s the same as a photograph.

others are more attached to material things, some just keep the memory. my memory is shocking so i need the material item to provide the jolt.

oh and i am a hoarder!

In reply to Tall Clare: Maybe it doesn't have a purpose; it's just one of the things that make us human.

What's the difference between sentiment and nostalgia?

In reply to Submit to Gravity:

Sentiment isn't what it used to be, when I was a lad...


<coat>

In reply to 999thAndy:

High five!

In reply to Tall Clare:

I remember reading something once, where they talked about if people lost their wedding ring and were given an identical replacement, they just wouldn't feel the same about it.

I think feelings are pretty important, so it's good to hang on to some bits and bobs (as long as it isn't too many!). However, I've moved so many times, that I've discarded most of my things over time and have realised that it usually makes very little difference to me - I usually forget I ever even had the item!

In reply to tlm:

I think there's definitely something in how often you move house - the people I know who move a lot, don't accumulate loads of unnecessary gubbins. A move-resistant person like me, however...

In reply to Tall Clare:

I've got a few things. I ride my motorbike so little it's noy worth keeping it, but I can't bear to get rid of it. It reminds me of my dad, mates I've lost that I used to ride with, and happy times from when the kids were little.
Another thing is my daughter's footprints in paint in a simple frame from when she was 2 months old. Every time I look at them I remember the kids when they were little babies and toddlers.
Other than that it's mostly photos that provoke memories. Some are in albums, some on the laptop and some prints in packets that only see the light of day once every 7 or 8 years but I couldn't bear to part with them as they're all photos of friends, family and happy times.
Most of the other stuff is completely disposable.

In reply to Tall Clare: Clare, do you not have a job? I thought as you're a women and quite modern, you'd be in full time work, bossing men around.

In reply to Oliiver:

Good grief.

I'm a freelancer so I can work flexibly.

In reply to Tall Clare: Freelance dominatrix?

In reply to Tall Clare:

You should be using your flexible spare time to iron your husband's clothes and prepare a nice dinner for when he gets home.


In Oliver World. ;0)

In reply to Submit to Gravity:

Yes, that's right, if being a dominatrix includes lots of writing and extensive use of Track Changes...

It's like punishment through words or something.

In reply to Submit to Gravity:

Further evidence then that I am not human. I don't hoard any pointless sentimental crap. If it isn't useful, it goes in a skip.

In reply to Jon Stewart:

I did get rid of a lot of stuff at the point when I realised I was unlikely to have children of my own to hand it on to/dump it on.

In reply to teflonpete: hey there's nothing like productivity

In reply to Tall Clare: surely your attachment to the dress is to do with the fact you made it? Its quite a big job to make a dress, so it would feel like you have thrown away all that time as effort?

In reply to girlymonkey:

No, there must be more to it than that - I've made a lot of dresses over the years. This one is like a corduroy fairy princess tutu...

In reply to Tall Clare: The only thing that I've owned for more than two years is my Fender electro-acoustic guitar. I've had it fifteen years now but it's looking as old and battered as I do. If my guitar could speak and it asked you how old you thought it was you'd say 'fifty?'. And my guitar would say 'Nah, I'm only fifteen and a half, but I've been hanging out with Chambers and it's aged me prematurely!'

Am I sentimentally attached to it? Not in the least. I don't do sentiment.

In reply to Tall Clare: I don't know what purpose sentiment serves but when it strikes, it feels like throwing out an object would be discarding a memory. Most of us probably do it to some degree but in my experience the people who hang onto everything also live in the past. They use objects as comfort blankets but eventually they get weighed down by them.

Personally I tend to keep bits of crap from my travels - ski passes, entrance tickets to places I visited, receipts from cafes - and stick them in my journal amongst my thoughts.