UKC

If you've never dug John Cooper Clark try watching this

New Topic
This topic has been archived, and won't accept reply postings.
 Al Evans 16 Dec 2013
http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b01jcdbc/Evidently..._John_Cooper_Clar...
Hey Chris, notice that the only posters on the wall behind him are for gigs with John Otway
 Chris the Tall 16 Dec 2013
In reply to Al Evans:

Thanks Al, will try and watch it. Was it a repeat ? Mind you, no harm in watching it again, he's great !
 Clarence 16 Dec 2013
In reply to Al Evans:

I watched it the other night because I just don't enjoy his poetry but plenty of people tell me I should. It did nothing to change my mind, I think you either get his stuff or you don't and it is difficult to change from one view to the other. Mind you I hate punk with a passion, all the people I know who are into JCC are or were punks.
 Offwidth 16 Dec 2013
In reply to Clarence:

A pretty self-centric view... who cares if you or anyone else for that matter doesn't like his work we are all different. Irrespective of likes I was always impressed that he got poetry on the radar for loads of kids where good teachers had failed...
 felt 16 Dec 2013
In reply to Offwidth:

I for one care if Clarence doesn't like his work.
 Clarence 16 Dec 2013
In reply to Offwidth:

Well the thread is called "if you've never dug John Cooper Clark try watching this" and a couple of my friends implored me to watch it with similar sentiments.
 Offwidth 16 Dec 2013
In reply to felt:

But your his mum.
 Offwidth 16 Dec 2013
In reply to Clarence:

What was it Einstein said about repeating something and expecting a different result?
In reply to Al Evans: I shall watch; he's written some good stuff. I think it'd be more widely appreciated if his delivery was a little more considered instead of an amphetamine-fuelled* rant.

Still, Evidently Chicken Town, I Married A Monster From Outer Space and You'll Never See A Nipple in the Daily Express are fine, fine things.

T.
* I have no evidence that this is so other than the speed of delivery: he may be a very temperate man and a Methodist minister for all I know. Make your own mind up.

 Clarence 16 Dec 2013
In reply to Offwidth:

Tastes change with experience and age, and JCC fans are often evangelical.
 Offwidth 16 Dec 2013
In reply to Clarence:

Fans often love their Idol shock news. I don't idolise him but would love to see more with his impact whether I like their poetry or not.
 felt 16 Dec 2013
In reply to Offwidth:

No, I'm Clark's agent.
OP Al Evans 16 Dec 2013
In reply to Pursued by a bear:
I think this is most peoples favourite

"BEASLEY STREET

FAR FROM CRAZY PAVEMENTS
...THE TASTE OF SILVER SPOONS

A CLINICAL ARRANGEMENT

...ON A DIRTY AFTERNOON

WHERE THE FECAL GERMS OF MR. FREUD

...ARE RENDERED OBSOLETE

THE LEGAL TERM IS NULL AND VOID

IN THE CASE OF... BEASLEY STREET



IN THE CHEAP SEATS WHERE MURDER BREEDS
SOMEBODY IS OUT OF BREATH

SLEEP IS A LUXURY THEY DON'T NEED

...A SNEAK PREVIEW OF DEATH

BELLADONNA IS YOUR FLOWER

MANSLAUGHTER YOUR MEAT

SPEND A YEAR IN A COUPLE OF HOURS

ON THE EDGE OF BEASLEY STREET



WHERE THE ACTION ISN'T

THAT'S WHERE IT IS

STATE YOUR POSITION

VACANCIES EXIST

IN AN X-CERTIFICATE EXERCISE

EX-SERVICEMEN EXCRETE

KEITH JOSEPH SMILES AND A BABY DIES

IN A BOX ON BEASLEY STREET



FROM THE BOARDING HOUSES AND THE BEDSITS FULL OF
...ACCIDENTS AND FLEAS

SOMEBODY GETS IT

WHERE THE MISSING PERSONS FREEZE

WEARING DEAD MEN'S OVERCOATS

YOU CAN'T SEE THEIR FEET

A RIFF JOINT SHUTS - OPENS UP

RIGHT DOWN ON BEASLEY STREET



CARS COLLIDE, COLOURS CLASH

DISASTER MOVIE STUFF

FOR A MAN WITH THE FU MANCHU MOUSTACHE

REVENGE IS NOT ENOUGH

THERE'S A DEAD CANARY ON A SWIVEL SEAT

THERE'S A RAINBOW IN THE ROAD

MEANWHILE ON BEASLEY STREET

SILENCE IS THE CODE



HOT BENEATH THE COLLAR
...AN INSPECTOR CALLS

WHERE THE PERISHING STINK OF SQUALOR

...IMPREGNATES THE WALLS

THE RATS HAVE ALL GOT RICKETS

THEY SPIT THROUGH BROKEN TEETH

THE NAME OF THE GAME IS NOT CRICKET

CAUGHT OUT ON ...BEASLEY STREET



THE HIPSTER AND HIS HIRED HAT

DRIVE A BORROWED CAR

YELLOW SOCKS AND A PINK CREVAT

NOTHING LA-DI-DAH

O-A-P

MOTHER-TO-BE

WATCH THE THREE-PIECE SUITE

WHEN SHITSTOPPER DRAINS

AND CROCODILE SKIS

ARE SEEN ON ...BEASLEY STREET



THE KINGDOM OF THE BLIND
...A ONE-EYED MAN IS KING

BEAUTY PROBLEMS ARE REDEFINED

...THE DOORBELLS DO NOT RING

A LIGHT BULB BURST LIKE A BLISTER

THE ONLY FORM OF HEAT

WHERE A FELLOW SELLS HIS SISTER

...DOWN THE RIVER ON BEASLEY STREET



THE BOYS ARE ON THE WAGON

THE GIRLS ARE ON THE SHELF

THEIR COMMON PROBLEM IS

...THAT THEY'RE NOT SOMEONE ELSE

THE DIRT BLOWS OUT

THE DUST BLOWS IN

YOU CAN'T KEEP IT NEAT

IT'S A FULLY FURNISHED DUSTBIN

...SIXTEEN BEASLEY STREET



VINCE THE AGEING SAVAGE
BETRAYS NO KIND OF LIFE

...BUT THE SMELL OF YESTERDAY'S CABBAGE

AND THE GHOST OF LAST YEAR'S WIFE

THROUGH A CONSTANT HAZE

OF DEODORANT SPRAYS

HE SAYS ...RETREAT

ALSATIANS DOG THE DIRTY DAYS

DOWN THE MIDDLE OF BEASLEY STREET



PEOPLE TURN TO POISON

QUICK AS LAGER TURNS TO PISS

SWEETHEARTS ARE PHYSICALLY SICK

EVERY TIME THEY KISS

IT'S A SOCIOLOGIST'S PARADISE

EACH DAY REPEATS

UNEASY, CHEASY, GREASY, QUEASY

...BEASTLY, BEASLEY STREET



EYES DEAD AS VICIOUS FISH
LOOK AROUND FOR LAUGHS

IF I COULD HAVE JUST ONE WISH

I WOULD BE A PHOTOGRAPH

ON A PERMANENT MONDAY MORNING

GET LOST OR FALL ASLEEP

WHEN THE YELLOW CATS ARE YAWNING

AROUND THE BACK OF BEASLEY STREET




LYRICS © JOHN COOPER CLARKE
Post edited at 15:19
 John Ww 16 Dec 2013
In reply to Al Evans:
My all-time favourite...

Like a Night Club in the morning, you’re the bitter end.
Like a recently disinfected shit-house, you’re clean round the bend.
You give me the horrors
too bad to be true
All of my tomorrow’s
are lousy coz of you.
You put the Shat in Shatter
Put the Pain in Spain
Your germs are splattered about
Your face is just a stain

You’re certainly no raver, commonly known as a drag.
Do us all a favour, here... wear this polythene bag.

You’re like a dose of scabies,
I’ve got you under my skin.
You make life a fairy tale... Grimm!

People mention murder, the moment you arrive.
I’d consider killing you if I thought you were alive.
You’ve got this slippery quality,
it makes me think of phlegm,
and a dual personality
I hate both of them.

Your bad breath, vamps disease, destruction, and decay.
Please, please, please, please, take yourself away.
Like a death a birthday party,
you ruin all the fun.
Like a sucked and spat our smartie,
you’re no use to anyone.
Like the shadow of the guillotine
on a dead consumptive’s face.
Speaking as an outsider,
what do you think of the human race

You went to a progressive psychiatrist.
He recommended suicide...
before scratching your bad name off his list,
and pointing the way outside.

You hear laughter breaking through, it makes you want to fart.
You’re heading for a breakdown,
better pull yourself apart.

Your dirty name gets passed about when something goes amiss.
Your attitudes are platitudes,
just make me wanna piss.

What kind of creature bore you
Was it some kind of bat
They can’t find a good word for you,
but I can...
TWAT.
Post edited at 15:48
 thin bob 16 Dec 2013
In reply to Al Evans:

Nice one Al.

I'd also put a vote in for Benjamin Zephaniah.
(and namecheck the others I remember ..Porky 'Phill Jupitus' the Poet, Joolz, Seeting Wells, Atilla The Stockbroker, Ranting Miss P)
 DaveHK 16 Dec 2013
In reply to Al Evans:

Did anyone hear him stand in for Jarvis Cocker on the Sunday Service?

Solid gold.
Jim C 16 Dec 2013
In reply to Offwidth:

> What was it Einstein said about repeating something and expecting a different result?

Nothing, It apparently was not Einstein.





In reply to Clarence:

> Mind you I hate punk with a passion, all the people I know who are into JCC are or were punks.

UI last saw him live when he played that notorious punk event; Cambridge Folk Festival.

 3leggeddog 16 Dec 2013
In reply to Al Evans:

JCC was in a relationship with Nico, hats off to the manc

New Topic
This topic has been archived, and won't accept reply postings.
Loading Notifications...