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A Wednesday distraction:
in the style of Douglas Adams' Meaning of Liff (younger viewers may need to Look that one up), what UK place names have what Climbing definition?
Nempnett Thrubwell - when Belaying a Leader, and that first big nut pops out, Whizzes down the rope, and clatters Painfully into your fingers.
in the style of Douglas Adams' Meaning of Liff (younger viewers may need to Look that one up), what UK place names have what Climbing definition?
Nempnett Thrubwell - when Belaying a Leader, and that first big nut pops out, Whizzes down the rope, and clatters Painfully into your fingers.
In reply to Choss:
Oh FFS I'm trying to get some work done...
Swadlincote, a mates duvet jacket, which always looks warmer than yours.
Ashbourne, a vegetated limestone top out, the overcoming of which may involve Screaming, moaning, gasping for breath, pain relief and the cutting of cord.
Spalding, the last ditch attempt to maintain contact with rock prior to a fall, often involving lips, ears and nipples.
Kilwinning, the result of inadequate Spalding.
Oh FFS I'm trying to get some work done...
Swadlincote, a mates duvet jacket, which always looks warmer than yours.
Ashbourne, a vegetated limestone top out, the overcoming of which may involve Screaming, moaning, gasping for breath, pain relief and the cutting of cord.
Spalding, the last ditch attempt to maintain contact with rock prior to a fall, often involving lips, ears and nipples.
Kilwinning, the result of inadequate Spalding.
In reply to DerwentDiluted:
Scrabster - a Climber Clawing their way up a Terrifying Barren Steep slope in a vain search for a Belay above a sea Cliff is a scrabster. They can be seen at brean down.
Scrabster - a Climber Clawing their way up a Terrifying Barren Steep slope in a vain search for a Belay above a sea Cliff is a scrabster. They can be seen at brean down.
In reply to Choss:
Bolsover, the point at which an elephants arse gritstone top out can be said to be in the bag.
Belper, a route, the climbing of which neccesitates involuntary expellation of stomach gases.
Budleigh Salterton, the corrosion found on insitu gear on sea cliffs.
Knottingley, an impenetrable tangle of ropes
Stansted Mountfitchet, the undoing of a Knottingley
Bolsover, the point at which an elephants arse gritstone top out can be said to be in the bag.
Belper, a route, the climbing of which neccesitates involuntary expellation of stomach gases.
Budleigh Salterton, the corrosion found on insitu gear on sea cliffs.
Knottingley, an impenetrable tangle of ropes
Stansted Mountfitchet, the undoing of a Knottingley
In reply to DerwentDiluted:
Dorking - getting as much beta as Possible From Internet forums on a Climb or boulder Problem you want to attempt.
Dorking - getting as much beta as Possible From Internet forums on a Climb or boulder Problem you want to attempt.
In reply to Choss:
Moffat, the mistaken belief that you are someone much better than you, on a top rope.
Jedburgh, an irritating and loud pair of climbers next to you, annoyingly doing far better than you are despite no apparent talent.
Coldstream, deceptively thin ice, the penetration of which occasions an icy flow of water down the cuffs
Moffat, the mistaken belief that you are someone much better than you, on a top rope.
Jedburgh, an irritating and loud pair of climbers next to you, annoyingly doing far better than you are despite no apparent talent.
Coldstream, deceptively thin ice, the penetration of which occasions an icy flow of water down the cuffs
In reply to Choss:
Yaxley, the feeling as a bout of hot-aches comes on
Godalming, the feeling as a bout of hot-aches subsides
Tadcaster, one who uses the best bits of all the weather reports to convince others to come out.
Chatham, inattentive belayer.
Andover, not yet a Bolsover
Yaxley, the feeling as a bout of hot-aches comes on
Godalming, the feeling as a bout of hot-aches subsides
Tadcaster, one who uses the best bits of all the weather reports to convince others to come out.
Chatham, inattentive belayer.
Andover, not yet a Bolsover
Post edited at 11:45
In reply to DerwentDiluted:
Peover
1. Part way to a Bolsover
2. Climb well above your mate's normal standard
Peover
1. Part way to a Bolsover
2. Climb well above your mate's normal standard
Post edited at 11:35
In reply to Choss:
Crummock Water - opening your thermos in the Hills to find you forgot to put sugar in your tea.
Crummock Water - opening your thermos in the Hills to find you forgot to put sugar in your tea.
Post edited at 11:36
In reply to 999thAndy:
Crickhowell - Loud vocalisation caused by a Nether Wallop.
> Nether Wallop
> Result of a fall whilst wearing a Whillans harness.
Crickhowell - Loud vocalisation caused by a Nether Wallop.
In reply to Choss:
Oswestry, a route whos' beguiling name leads to disappointment on arrival at its base.
Ludlow, the disappointment felt when a promising bit of crag swag is a well seized can from about 20 years ago.
Kettering, trying to make your feet stick in the face of lichen and sand.
Sawtry, in bouldering, that last effort you know will probably rupture something.
Burton Latimer, the something ruptured while making a Sawtry
Oswestry, a route whos' beguiling name leads to disappointment on arrival at its base.
Ludlow, the disappointment felt when a promising bit of crag swag is a well seized can from about 20 years ago.
Kettering, trying to make your feet stick in the face of lichen and sand.
Sawtry, in bouldering, that last effort you know will probably rupture something.
Burton Latimer, the something ruptured while making a Sawtry
Post edited at 11:46
In reply to Choss:
Hassop - Unsolicited,incorrect and distracting beta shouted at you whilst mid-crux on a route by a stranger resting on gear on an adjacent route who not only climbs several grades less than you but has obviously never even done the route you are on.
Hassop - Unsolicited,incorrect and distracting beta shouted at you whilst mid-crux on a route by a stranger resting on gear on an adjacent route who not only climbs several grades less than you but has obviously never even done the route you are on.
Post edited at 11:47
In reply to Choss:
Chipping Campden - an overnight tent stay in convenient proximity to a van selling hot fried potato products
Chipping Campden - an overnight tent stay in convenient proximity to a van selling hot fried potato products
In reply to Choss:
Upper Swell - the annoying phenomenon of an overhang that steepens exponentially as one nears the top of a route
Upper Swell - the annoying phenomenon of an overhang that steepens exponentially as one nears the top of a route
In reply to Shani:
Bournemouth - a person who gives Hassop.
> Hassop - Unsolicited,incorrect and distracting beta shouted at you whilst mid-crux on a route by a stranger resting on gear on an adjacent route who not only climbs several grades less than you but has obviously never even done the route you are on.
Bournemouth - a person who gives Hassop.
In reply to Choss:
Lower Slaughter - failing on the initial moves of a route or boulder problem.
Upper Slaughter - failing on the top out moves.
Lower Slaughter - failing on the initial moves of a route or boulder problem.
Upper Slaughter - failing on the top out moves.
In reply to Choss:
Wisbech, urinating without removing a harness
Ullapool, that which forms without a Wisbech
Ossett, semi hanging belay, stance sufficient for one buttock only
Bingley, result of too long on an Ossett
Lamlash, knot which appears incorrectly tied.
Bonnyrigg, well set up belay, (Scots vernacular)
Wisbech, urinating without removing a harness
Ullapool, that which forms without a Wisbech
Ossett, semi hanging belay, stance sufficient for one buttock only
Bingley, result of too long on an Ossett
Lamlash, knot which appears incorrectly tied.
Bonnyrigg, well set up belay, (Scots vernacular)
Post edited at 12:02
In reply to Choss:
Langton Matravers - a lengthy girdle route that hacks off all other climbers on the crag by crossing their lines
Langton Matravers - a lengthy girdle route that hacks off all other climbers on the crag by crossing their lines
In reply to Choss:
Yarm, something of unknown age and content which your mate finds at the bottom of his rucksack and then eats
Yarm, something of unknown age and content which your mate finds at the bottom of his rucksack and then eats
In reply to Choss:
Aberfan - a climbing partner who spoils your day out by constantly moaning that this crag is not as good as the Welsh one he visited last week, with someone else
Aberfan - a climbing partner who spoils your day out by constantly moaning that this crag is not as good as the Welsh one he visited last week, with someone else
In reply to Choss:
Charfield - turning up at Stanage to find heatwave fire related climbing restrictions.
Charfield - turning up at Stanage to find heatwave fire related climbing restrictions.
In reply to Choss:
Glossop - The narrative given by a bournemouth to his mate below moments after you've fallen off a route as a result of his hassop.
> (In reply to Shani)
>
> [...]
>
> Bournemouth - a person who gives Hassop.
>
> [...]
>
> Bournemouth - a person who gives Hassop.
Glossop - The narrative given by a bournemouth to his mate below moments after you've fallen off a route as a result of his hassop.
Post edited at 12:13
In reply to Choss:
Fakenham - when a local climber gives Deliberately sandbagging beta to a visitor.
Fakenham - when a local climber gives Deliberately sandbagging beta to a visitor.
In reply to Choss:
Rugby - the bit of old carpet we used at the bottom of routes before bouldering mats
Rugby - the bit of old carpet we used at the bottom of routes before bouldering mats
In reply to Choss:
Groby, the queasiness induced when seconding a route you encounter your partners blood
Fleckney, trying to remove partners blood from your hands
Wem, something you encounter inducing Groby, but its not blood.
Groby, the queasiness induced when seconding a route you encounter your partners blood
Fleckney, trying to remove partners blood from your hands
Wem, something you encounter inducing Groby, but its not blood.
In reply to Choss:
Chard, consequence of ignoring restrictions
> Charfield - turning up at Stanage to find heatwave fire related climbing restrictions.
Chard, consequence of ignoring restrictions
In reply to Choss:
Abingdon - bloke who 'over engineers' and unneccessarily complicates his anchors/belay/top rope.
Abingdon - bloke who 'over engineers' and unneccessarily complicates his anchors/belay/top rope.
In reply to Choss:
Letchworth, the pleasant view of cleavage whilst encouraging your lady second ;0)
Letchworth, the pleasant view of cleavage whilst encouraging your lady second ;0)
In reply to Choss:
Harbottle - the act of deciding a particularly gnarly route is best left for another day
Harbottle - the act of deciding a particularly gnarly route is best left for another day
In reply to DerwentDiluted:
....Fenny Bently, the same view, but from below.
> (In reply to Choss)
>
> Letchworth, the pleasant view of cleavage whilst encouraging your lady second ;0)
>
> Letchworth, the pleasant view of cleavage whilst encouraging your lady second ;0)
....Fenny Bently, the same view, but from below.
In reply to Choss:
Dalling: to dither back and forth, unwilling to commit to the crux.
Dallinghoo: verbal self-admonishment for dalling.
Dalling: to dither back and forth, unwilling to commit to the crux.
Dallinghoo: verbal self-admonishment for dalling.
In reply to Choss:
Penicuik - desperate to relieve oneself but there's nowhere suitably private for miles
Penicuik - desperate to relieve oneself but there's nowhere suitably private for miles
In reply to Shani:
surely from below and slightly to one side?
> ....Fenny Bently, the same view, but from below.
surely from below and slightly to one side?
In reply to Choss:
Patterdale - he might be a crap climber but he can certainly talk the talk in the pub afterwards.
I really should do some work now...
Patterdale - he might be a crap climber but he can certainly talk the talk in the pub afterwards.
I really should do some work now...
In reply to Hat Dude:
Wallsend - a Walsall who reckons that because he can onsight 7a indoors he must be able to onsight at least E4/5 outdoors.
> (In reply to Choss)
>
> Walsall - Someone who never climbs outside
>
> Walsall - Someone who never climbs outside
Wallsend - a Walsall who reckons that because he can onsight 7a indoors he must be able to onsight at least E4/5 outdoors.
In reply to ripper:
Like this? http://binged.it/1a19Rh2
> (In reply to Shani)
>
> [...]
>
> surely from below and slightly to one side?
>
> [...]
>
> surely from below and slightly to one side?
Like this? http://binged.it/1a19Rh2
In reply to Choss:
Little Blencow - it's only the third time you've taken her out but your young daughter is already climbing harder than you
Little Blencow - it's only the third time you've taken her out but your young daughter is already climbing harder than you
In reply to Shani:
just like that - unless she's your Little Blencow in which case no offence meant
> Like this? http://binged.it/1a19Rh2
just like that - unless she's your Little Blencow in which case no offence meant
In reply to Choss:
Whatstandwell
The overcoming of a mantelshelf by use of chin, elbows, chest and knees.
Westward Ho!
When a Sheffield climber decides to go climbing at Ramshaw.
Whatstandwell
The overcoming of a mantelshelf by use of chin, elbows, chest and knees.
Westward Ho!
When a Sheffield climber decides to go climbing at Ramshaw.
In reply to Choss:
Minehead - climbing partner who cant go climbing with you this weekend because theyre Otherwise Engaged in the perverse pastime of potholing.
Minehead - climbing partner who cant go climbing with you this weekend because theyre Otherwise Engaged in the perverse pastime of potholing.
In reply to Choss:
Prestwick - something caught in your harness leg loop that definitely shouldn't be there
Prestwick - something caught in your harness leg loop that definitely shouldn't be there
In reply to Choss:
Your OP and maybe about 40% of contributions are in the style of The Meaning of Liff but a lot of these are Radio 4 panel-show type direct puns (good ones too, but not very Liff-like e.g. Saltburn - the result of harness chafing whilst engaged in sea cliff climbing or Crawley - 80% of all gritstone top-outs)
I will try to think of a Liff-like one...direct puns are easier obviously.
Your OP and maybe about 40% of contributions are in the style of The Meaning of Liff but a lot of these are Radio 4 panel-show type direct puns (good ones too, but not very Liff-like e.g. Saltburn - the result of harness chafing whilst engaged in sea cliff climbing or Crawley - 80% of all gritstone top-outs)
I will try to think of a Liff-like one...direct puns are easier obviously.
Post edited at 13:30
In reply to Choss:
Bolton Abbey - who knew the ballroom-dancing WAG would become some such a prolific sport-climbing new-router?
Bolton Abbey - who knew the ballroom-dancing WAG would become some such a prolific sport-climbing new-router?
In reply to Blue Straggler:
Something like:
Spofforth - the bit of gear you had to leave behind when retreating, that you really didn't care about losing
Something like:
Spofforth - the bit of gear you had to leave behind when retreating, that you really didn't care about losing
In reply to ripper:
Worth Matravers - Route across a boulder that's high enough to get hurt on
> Langton Matravers - a lengthy girdle route that hacks off all other climbers on the crag by crossing their lines
Worth Matravers - Route across a boulder that's high enough to get hurt on
Basingstoke: An intense motivation to do a particular route from a specific photograph in a guidebook/magazine (eg. Jimmy Jewel on The Axe).
Stoke Bardolph: Feeling of disappointment having failed to flash the route from whence came the basingstoke.
In reply to Choss:
I hate you.
Me and me mate are in the middle of writing "A Liff in Climbing" for publication later in the year.
He hates you too.
Now you've spoilt it, like John Lennon did when I was busy writing Imagine.
Bet you've thought about making a wheel round too.
Don't you have a job, or an attentive carer or something to keep you busy?
(Sound of tearing paper)
I hate you.
Me and me mate are in the middle of writing "A Liff in Climbing" for publication later in the year.
He hates you too.
Now you've spoilt it, like John Lennon did when I was busy writing Imagine.
Bet you've thought about making a wheel round too.
Don't you have a job, or an attentive carer or something to keep you busy?
(Sound of tearing paper)
Post edited at 14:12
In reply to Choss:
Chipping Norton - aggressive brushing of a hold clean of chalk; shy of 'hold improvement', but only just.
> (In reply to Choss)
>
> Chipping Sodbury - a person responsible for 'improving' holds on a route.
>
> Chipping Sodbury - a person responsible for 'improving' holds on a route.
Chipping Norton - aggressive brushing of a hold clean of chalk; shy of 'hold improvement', but only just.
In reply to full stottie:
Youve had a Literary Throckmorton then.
Throckmorton - to snatch the first ascent of Somebody elses Project route ;-D
Youve had a Literary Throckmorton then.
Throckmorton - to snatch the first ascent of Somebody elses Project route ;-D
In reply to Choss:
Swinstead - the act of swapping a Radio 4 panel show-style pun for a term of genuine Liff-like quality.
Swinstead - the act of swapping a Radio 4 panel show-style pun for a term of genuine Liff-like quality.
1
In reply to Choss:
Alternatively, with a bit of a climbing theme (and I'm sure I've posted bits of this before, but it might have been quite a few years ago):
A
Almscliffe - Just overhanging enough to be annoying, while not overhanging enough to be spectacular. Hard on the arms, hence the name.
Anglezarke - The squawking noise made by leaders on falling off unexpectedly.
Applegarth - The space inside a helmet, useful for storing fruit, sandwiches and anything else one wishes to avoid having crushed while in transit to the crag.
Armathwaite - A reverse elbow-jam, usually accompanied by cursing (see Withnel)
Attermire - An area of soft muddy ground on a campsite, created by the farmer by the careful application of water and sheep droppings with the aim of trapping campers' cars so that he can then charge extra to drag them out with the tractor. A well-positioned attermire can almost double the campsite revenue, and is now stongly reccommended by bank managers.
Avon - What looks like a gear placement, but won't take anything on your rack despite half an hour of increasingly desperate faffing.
B
Baildon - Descriptive of the knackered state of the foam in a very used bouldering mat. "You need a new mat, mate - yours is well baildon."
Bamford - The loud fart emitted during extreme thrutching
Beachy Head - The appearance of someone who, having trained exclusively indoors for a year, comes out for two weeks in summer and forgets to put sunblock on his bald patch.
Birchen - The feeling of being happily knackered after a good day's climbing. "We did seventeen routes that day, and I was proper birchen by the time we hit the pub."
Bosigran - A leathery old lady soloing something improbable
Bosley Cloud - The brooding dark cloud which has been hanging around threatening rain all morning, and eventually produces torrential rain in mid-afternoon when everyone has become used to ignoring it.
Boulder Ruckle - A small collection of boulders leaning against each other with a space in the middle smelling strongly of urine.
Bowderstone - A loose rock lying around at the top which just fits nicely into the crack to create a bomber sling belay.
Brimham - The large and expanding gap behind a loose block, in which it is tempting but dangerous to place protection.
Burbage - To improvise in the face of disaster. "I had to burbage some prussik loops out of my shoelaces and the elastic off my pants"
C
Cadshaw - To get one's revenge on persistant sandbaggers by falling off on their gear.
Caley - The sudden rush of relief on topping out after Godrevy or Heeley
Callerhues - The thick black lines left on one's hands after lowering someone with a very dirty rope.
Carreg y Byg - The action of deciding not to do a route, consisting of a slow feel of the starting holds (the "carreg") followed by a thoughtful expression and a slow shake of the head (the "byg").
Chudleigh - The sinking feeling on realising that the vital piece of gear has been left at the bottom of the crag
Crafnant - a type of small semi-camming nut with a distinctive oval fish-piece and knurled wings. "There's a bomber Crafnant in that pocket"
Cratcliffe - A minor crag at the back of the guide that somehow never gets visited despite being the closest to home.
Crookrise - To cheat by using the big hole in the hold where the bolt goes as a one-finger pocket.
Cullernose - The persistant runny nose that comes with cold conditions.
Curbar - A full-body jam used in offwidths, usually accompanied by a fine selection of expletives. (See Withnel)
D
Denham - A very old guidebook, kept for sandbagging purposes.
Dewerstone - An enormous and slippery chockstone, climbed round by means of a surprisingly affectionate hugging manouvre
Doveholes - Slight scoops in the top of the crag, filled with water due to recent rain, in which one ends up kneeling while setting up the belay.
Dumbarton - the classic flat-on-back pratfall resulting from slick rock shoes on wet grass. See Hutaple.
E
Eastby - the classic navigational error in which the wrong end of the compass needle is lined up with the wrong place, the resultant bearing being 180 degrees out
Eavestone - An overhanging feature at just the right height and angle to act as a shelter in heavy rain.
Edgerton - The very long list of improbable things that the instructions forbid doing to one's gear. "Warning! Do not wash slings in battery acid!"
Eridge Green - A repellant shade of sludge green used for the manufacture of bouldering wear, actually designed to hide the grass stains from repeated contact with the ground but worn in the belief that it is a dramatic style statement.
F
Farleton - Technical name for the little spring that makes a friend open out.
Finedon - Theoretically climbable non-rock scenery, inserted in climbing guides as a practical joke by bored editors.
Folly Cove - Archaic term for the club madman - the sort of person who, being unable to belay due to a broken wrist and hence bored silly, sets off to solo an E4 one-handed despite only leading VS.
Froggatt - the small downward bounce just before the giant upward dyno
Frogsmouth - The gap in one's front teeth that results from falling off with a bight of rope in one¡¦s mouth.
G
Gaitkins - The useless but ornamental wrinkles moulded into the underside of a steep overhang at a climbing wall.
Gardoms - The three odd-sized nuts at the extreme end of the size range that never get used but still get taken up every route "just in case".
Giggleswick - Good-natured but useless second with a habit of laughing at his or her own incompetence which is at first entertaining but rapidly becomes wearisome.
Gillercombe - The pleasant coolness between the toes on removing rockshoes which have been worn all day.
Gimmer - A good resting hold/ledge from which one can contemplate the blank and unprotected climbing above.
Gimmerknowe - A lack of desire to leave a Gimmer.
Goatscrag - The chewy rubbery bits in dehydrated food, possibly goat or horse but more probably rat droppings.
Godrevy - The horrible sinking feeling on realising that it feels hard for VS because you had the guide upside-down and it is actually E2.
Gorple - To faff protractedly in the hope of getting out of an unwanted lead. "Mick kept going on about me doing Sunset Slab, so I gorpled until it started raining."
Great Wanney - one who lets loose rock and absent protection become an excuse for not doing the route "Gerron up it you great wanney!"
Guisecliff - An interesting but distracting little craglet encountered on the way to the main bit, the temptation to stop and play on it being almost overwhelming.
(Yes, there's more ... ::O)
Alternatively, with a bit of a climbing theme (and I'm sure I've posted bits of this before, but it might have been quite a few years ago):
A
Almscliffe - Just overhanging enough to be annoying, while not overhanging enough to be spectacular. Hard on the arms, hence the name.
Anglezarke - The squawking noise made by leaders on falling off unexpectedly.
Applegarth - The space inside a helmet, useful for storing fruit, sandwiches and anything else one wishes to avoid having crushed while in transit to the crag.
Armathwaite - A reverse elbow-jam, usually accompanied by cursing (see Withnel)
Attermire - An area of soft muddy ground on a campsite, created by the farmer by the careful application of water and sheep droppings with the aim of trapping campers' cars so that he can then charge extra to drag them out with the tractor. A well-positioned attermire can almost double the campsite revenue, and is now stongly reccommended by bank managers.
Avon - What looks like a gear placement, but won't take anything on your rack despite half an hour of increasingly desperate faffing.
B
Baildon - Descriptive of the knackered state of the foam in a very used bouldering mat. "You need a new mat, mate - yours is well baildon."
Bamford - The loud fart emitted during extreme thrutching
Beachy Head - The appearance of someone who, having trained exclusively indoors for a year, comes out for two weeks in summer and forgets to put sunblock on his bald patch.
Birchen - The feeling of being happily knackered after a good day's climbing. "We did seventeen routes that day, and I was proper birchen by the time we hit the pub."
Bosigran - A leathery old lady soloing something improbable
Bosley Cloud - The brooding dark cloud which has been hanging around threatening rain all morning, and eventually produces torrential rain in mid-afternoon when everyone has become used to ignoring it.
Boulder Ruckle - A small collection of boulders leaning against each other with a space in the middle smelling strongly of urine.
Bowderstone - A loose rock lying around at the top which just fits nicely into the crack to create a bomber sling belay.
Brimham - The large and expanding gap behind a loose block, in which it is tempting but dangerous to place protection.
Burbage - To improvise in the face of disaster. "I had to burbage some prussik loops out of my shoelaces and the elastic off my pants"
C
Cadshaw - To get one's revenge on persistant sandbaggers by falling off on their gear.
Caley - The sudden rush of relief on topping out after Godrevy or Heeley
Callerhues - The thick black lines left on one's hands after lowering someone with a very dirty rope.
Carreg y Byg - The action of deciding not to do a route, consisting of a slow feel of the starting holds (the "carreg") followed by a thoughtful expression and a slow shake of the head (the "byg").
Chudleigh - The sinking feeling on realising that the vital piece of gear has been left at the bottom of the crag
Crafnant - a type of small semi-camming nut with a distinctive oval fish-piece and knurled wings. "There's a bomber Crafnant in that pocket"
Cratcliffe - A minor crag at the back of the guide that somehow never gets visited despite being the closest to home.
Crookrise - To cheat by using the big hole in the hold where the bolt goes as a one-finger pocket.
Cullernose - The persistant runny nose that comes with cold conditions.
Curbar - A full-body jam used in offwidths, usually accompanied by a fine selection of expletives. (See Withnel)
D
Denham - A very old guidebook, kept for sandbagging purposes.
Dewerstone - An enormous and slippery chockstone, climbed round by means of a surprisingly affectionate hugging manouvre
Doveholes - Slight scoops in the top of the crag, filled with water due to recent rain, in which one ends up kneeling while setting up the belay.
Dumbarton - the classic flat-on-back pratfall resulting from slick rock shoes on wet grass. See Hutaple.
E
Eastby - the classic navigational error in which the wrong end of the compass needle is lined up with the wrong place, the resultant bearing being 180 degrees out
Eavestone - An overhanging feature at just the right height and angle to act as a shelter in heavy rain.
Edgerton - The very long list of improbable things that the instructions forbid doing to one's gear. "Warning! Do not wash slings in battery acid!"
Eridge Green - A repellant shade of sludge green used for the manufacture of bouldering wear, actually designed to hide the grass stains from repeated contact with the ground but worn in the belief that it is a dramatic style statement.
F
Farleton - Technical name for the little spring that makes a friend open out.
Finedon - Theoretically climbable non-rock scenery, inserted in climbing guides as a practical joke by bored editors.
Folly Cove - Archaic term for the club madman - the sort of person who, being unable to belay due to a broken wrist and hence bored silly, sets off to solo an E4 one-handed despite only leading VS.
Froggatt - the small downward bounce just before the giant upward dyno
Frogsmouth - The gap in one's front teeth that results from falling off with a bight of rope in one¡¦s mouth.
G
Gaitkins - The useless but ornamental wrinkles moulded into the underside of a steep overhang at a climbing wall.
Gardoms - The three odd-sized nuts at the extreme end of the size range that never get used but still get taken up every route "just in case".
Giggleswick - Good-natured but useless second with a habit of laughing at his or her own incompetence which is at first entertaining but rapidly becomes wearisome.
Gillercombe - The pleasant coolness between the toes on removing rockshoes which have been worn all day.
Gimmer - A good resting hold/ledge from which one can contemplate the blank and unprotected climbing above.
Gimmerknowe - A lack of desire to leave a Gimmer.
Goatscrag - The chewy rubbery bits in dehydrated food, possibly goat or horse but more probably rat droppings.
Godrevy - The horrible sinking feeling on realising that it feels hard for VS because you had the guide upside-down and it is actually E2.
Gorple - To faff protractedly in the hope of getting out of an unwanted lead. "Mick kept going on about me doing Sunset Slab, so I gorpled until it started raining."
Great Wanney - one who lets loose rock and absent protection become an excuse for not doing the route "Gerron up it you great wanney!"
Guisecliff - An interesting but distracting little craglet encountered on the way to the main bit, the temptation to stop and play on it being almost overwhelming.
(Yes, there's more ... ::O)
In reply to Choss:
Chigwell, while impatiently belaying a second the act of making small tugs on the rope to impart the message 'get a bloody move on' whilst making it appear you are all concerned and don't want slack to develop and they can take all the time they need...
Chertsey, the mouthed response to a Chigwelling belayer
Angmering, continuing to drive to the crag despite clear evidence from the windscreen that rain has stopped play.
Great Torrington, fortitude shown by those in the car of a Tadcaster who is Angmering.
Chigwell, while impatiently belaying a second the act of making small tugs on the rope to impart the message 'get a bloody move on' whilst making it appear you are all concerned and don't want slack to develop and they can take all the time they need...
Chertsey, the mouthed response to a Chigwelling belayer
Angmering, continuing to drive to the crag despite clear evidence from the windscreen that rain has stopped play.
Great Torrington, fortitude shown by those in the car of a Tadcaster who is Angmering.
In reply to Choss:
Ottery St.Mary, oath uttered when you see the pitch its your turn to lead.
Tebay, Yorkshire climber whose rack is of dubious provenance
Ottery St.Mary, oath uttered when you see the pitch its your turn to lead.
Tebay, Yorkshire climber whose rack is of dubious provenance
In reply to Hat Dude:
Cropwell Butler: Clump of vegetation sufficing as a handhold (usually after a traumatic section of climbing).
Cropwell Butler: Clump of vegetation sufficing as a handhold (usually after a traumatic section of climbing).
In reply to Choss:
Sheerness, Measurement scale of rock incline
Skegness, Measurement scale of rock quality
Murraythwaite, Lancashire climber who always brings his girlfriend and mum to the crag.
Canvey Island, isolated area of intact skin after a day on Ramshaw
Sheerness, Measurement scale of rock incline
Skegness, Measurement scale of rock quality
Murraythwaite, Lancashire climber who always brings his girlfriend and mum to the crag.
Canvey Island, isolated area of intact skin after a day on Ramshaw
In reply to Choss:
Fishguard - a stout climbing trouser worn by your female partner to prevent an inadvertent Fenny Bentley
Fishguard - a stout climbing trouser worn by your female partner to prevent an inadvertent Fenny Bentley
In reply to Choss:
Chepstow, superfluous pocket on expensive rucksack/jacket
Padstow, specially sized jacket pocket allowing 1 and a bit of a pair of gloves to be shoved in, ensuring 1 becomes lost.
Chepstow, superfluous pocket on expensive rucksack/jacket
Padstow, specially sized jacket pocket allowing 1 and a bit of a pair of gloves to be shoved in, ensuring 1 becomes lost.
In reply to DerwentDiluted:
I was pondering Chepstow as "UKC thread about having to keep dogs on leads at crags" but thought that the "Chep" reference was too obscure
(when Noakes left Blue Peter he was contractually obliged - via acrimony between him and Biddy Baxter - to not get a dog and call it Shep, so he got a dog and called it Chep, and that's the dog that was on Go With Noakes etc. "Down, Chep!" sounds just like "Down, Shep!". Urban legend, probably)
I was pondering Chepstow as "UKC thread about having to keep dogs on leads at crags" but thought that the "Chep" reference was too obscure
(when Noakes left Blue Peter he was contractually obliged - via acrimony between him and Biddy Baxter - to not get a dog and call it Shep, so he got a dog and called it Chep, and that's the dog that was on Go With Noakes etc. "Down, Chep!" sounds just like "Down, Shep!". Urban legend, probably)
In reply to Choss:
Wigtwizzle, bit of gear found at a foreign crag which you have no idea how to use but keep as it makes you look very cosmopolitan.
Tavistock, ice axe inherited or found in charity shop for £1 too old to be practical, too knackered to be aesthetic and too useless to be used but bought 'just in case'
Wigtwizzle, bit of gear found at a foreign crag which you have no idea how to use but keep as it makes you look very cosmopolitan.
Tavistock, ice axe inherited or found in charity shop for £1 too old to be practical, too knackered to be aesthetic and too useless to be used but bought 'just in case'
In reply to DerwentDiluted:
I have an old Cassin peg hammer that belonged to my Dad many years ago, I'll never use it, but hang on to it not so much 'just in case' but more for sentimental reasons. So, not a true Tavistock, but maybe more of an Evenlode
> Tavistock, ice axe inherited or found in charity shop for £1 too old to be practical, too knackered to be aesthetic and too useless to be used but bought 'just in case'
I have an old Cassin peg hammer that belonged to my Dad many years ago, I'll never use it, but hang on to it not so much 'just in case' but more for sentimental reasons. So, not a true Tavistock, but maybe more of an Evenlode
In reply to Hat Dude:
Stow-cum-Quy
front trouser pocket, designed specifically for car keys, which seems to be positioned in the most uncomfortable possible location but is, in use, strangely arousing.
Stow-cum-Quy
front trouser pocket, designed specifically for car keys, which seems to be positioned in the most uncomfortable possible location but is, in use, strangely arousing.
In reply to Choss:
Nether Broughton - involuntary loud fart released during initial hard move off the ground before any gear is placed (but still low enough that a fall would be utterly trivial, negating any genuine cause for fear)
Nether Broughton - involuntary loud fart released during initial hard move off the ground before any gear is placed (but still low enough that a fall would be utterly trivial, negating any genuine cause for fear)
Sittingbourne: Unable to do the seated start to a boulder problem.
Stroud: The joyous walk one adopts in the momentments after having just flashed a route at the top of your grade.
Stroud: The joyous walk one adopts in the momentments after having just flashed a route at the top of your grade.
In reply to Choss:
Stanford le Hope, an ill fitting Fishguard
Cromer, one for whom climbing is best done indoors.
Great Yarmouth, a Bournemouth of exceptional talent.
Garstang, the moment a fall is arrested
Prestonpans, indentations caused by a badly padded rucksack
Stanford le Hope, an ill fitting Fishguard
Cromer, one for whom climbing is best done indoors.
Great Yarmouth, a Bournemouth of exceptional talent.
Garstang, the moment a fall is arrested
Prestonpans, indentations caused by a badly padded rucksack
In reply to Choss:
Warninglid - the hollow sound before it all goes wrong
Datchet - a loose cotton thread on an expensive jacket
Throcking - a premonition of hot-aches
Warninglid - the hollow sound before it all goes wrong
Datchet - a loose cotton thread on an expensive jacket
Throcking - a premonition of hot-aches
In reply to Choss:
Wantage, trying to get a piece of protection in using only two finger tips and extreme mental effort.
Didcot, positive outcome from Wantage.
Cholsey, less successful outcome from Wantage.
Wantage, trying to get a piece of protection in using only two finger tips and extreme mental effort.
Didcot, positive outcome from Wantage.
Cholsey, less successful outcome from Wantage.
1
In reply to Choss:
Carrington: One who turns up at the crag with a massive rucksack packed with enough kit for a small expedition.
Pillsbury: An array of small, marginal gear placements.
Carrington: One who turns up at the crag with a massive rucksack packed with enough kit for a small expedition.
Pillsbury: An array of small, marginal gear placements.
Post edited at 16:18
In reply to Choss:
Cutthorpe - Alternative title proposed by dyslexic Yorkshire publisher for "Touching the Void"
Cutthorpe - Alternative title proposed by dyslexic Yorkshire publisher for "Touching the Void"
In reply to Choss:
Ainderby Steeple - any route with a grandiose name and/or description, which ultimately disappoints upon arrival or completion, due to its diminutive nature and utter lack of thrill factor
Ainderby Steeple - any route with a grandiose name and/or description, which ultimately disappoints upon arrival or completion, due to its diminutive nature and utter lack of thrill factor
In reply to Choss:
Haselbury Plucknett - when multiple pieces of one's gear pops out as one takes a lead fall, making a distinctive sound as every piece is plucked out of the rock
Clovelly - The neat collection of clove hitches one might obtain on one's HMS carabiner while attempting to equalise a three - or more - point belay using one's rope
Haselbury Plucknett - when multiple pieces of one's gear pops out as one takes a lead fall, making a distinctive sound as every piece is plucked out of the rock
Clovelly - The neat collection of clove hitches one might obtain on one's HMS carabiner while attempting to equalise a three - or more - point belay using one's rope
Post edited at 16:52
In reply to Choss:
Strathpeffer - a handful of small wires dropped from high on a route, which helpfully distribute themselves over a large area of ground, thus making full retrieval nigh-on impossible.
Strathpeffer - a handful of small wires dropped from high on a route, which helpfully distribute themselves over a large area of ground, thus making full retrieval nigh-on impossible.
In reply to ripper:
Ah yes, often the result of a period of wantage when attempting to set up a pillsbury!
> Strathpeffer - a handful of small wires dropped from high on a route, which helpfully distribute themselves over a large area of ground, thus making full retrieval nigh-on impossible.
Ah yes, often the result of a period of wantage when attempting to set up a pillsbury!
In reply to Choss:
Bedlam Bottom – the result of attempting a climbing route with traditional gear which provokes uncontrollable fear in the would-be ascentionist. Retreat is advisable if one is to prevent Bedlam Bottom as this can cause undue embarrassment, discomfort and will considerably increase the time expended in the cleaning of oneself.
Bedlam Bottom – the result of attempting a climbing route with traditional gear which provokes uncontrollable fear in the would-be ascentionist. Retreat is advisable if one is to prevent Bedlam Bottom as this can cause undue embarrassment, discomfort and will considerably increase the time expended in the cleaning of oneself.
In reply to Shani:
yep - leaving you wishing you'd given it the ol' Harbottle
> Ah yes, often the result of a period of wantage when attempting to set up a pillsbury!
yep - leaving you wishing you'd given it the ol' Harbottle
In reply to Choss:
Manningford Bohune - bronzed, sunstreaked Californian who comes over 'ere without so much as a by-your-leave and proceeds to tick all our hardest routes, ignoring a steady flow of Hassops from local Bournemouths.
Manningford Bohune - bronzed, sunstreaked Californian who comes over 'ere without so much as a by-your-leave and proceeds to tick all our hardest routes, ignoring a steady flow of Hassops from local Bournemouths.
Post edited at 17:42
In reply to Choss:
Yetts o Muckart, the frozen streaks of snot which accumulate on the back of your mitts.
Yetts o Muckart, the frozen streaks of snot which accumulate on the back of your mitts.
In reply to Choss:
Wetwang - a completely inadequate attempt to chuck a full coil of rope down a cliff, for abseiling purposes. Generally results in a Knottingley round the ankles.
Wetwang - a completely inadequate attempt to chuck a full coil of rope down a cliff, for abseiling purposes. Generally results in a Knottingley round the ankles.
In reply to Choss:
Pwllheli - is the moment your foot skids off a Limestone hold that is Polished beyond belief. Often Experienced at Chudleigh, Avon Gorge, and the introductory rocks at Symonds Yat.
Pwllheli - is the moment your foot skids off a Limestone hold that is Polished beyond belief. Often Experienced at Chudleigh, Avon Gorge, and the introductory rocks at Symonds Yat.
In reply to Choss:
Gosforth - Hard-climbing Yorkshireman from the 1970-80s who was always willing to tackle gnarly routes and run it out above gear even in the most horrendous weather. Most of his new routes, although originally graded E5, now get E7. Although UK-based, a Gosforth will have ocassionally travelled to Yosemite where he could be found climbing with a Manningford Bohune.
Gosport - Ex-climber and Gosforth, now succumbed to middle aged spread but still able to onsight E2 in the rain.
Gosforth - Hard-climbing Yorkshireman from the 1970-80s who was always willing to tackle gnarly routes and run it out above gear even in the most horrendous weather. Most of his new routes, although originally graded E5, now get E7. Although UK-based, a Gosforth will have ocassionally travelled to Yosemite where he could be found climbing with a Manningford Bohune.
Gosport - Ex-climber and Gosforth, now succumbed to middle aged spread but still able to onsight E2 in the rain.
In reply to Choss:
Toddington - solo climber.
Teddington - to pull a Teddington is to realise your bouldering has gone above the Point of no return, and youre now a Toddington.
Toddington - solo climber.
Teddington - to pull a Teddington is to realise your bouldering has gone above the Point of no return, and youre now a Toddington.
In reply to Choss:
Much Marcle - a Jammed nut or cam Which every passing climber has tried to Free unsuccessfully is said to be Much Marcled.
Much Marcle - a Jammed nut or cam Which every passing climber has tried to Free unsuccessfully is said to be Much Marcled.
In reply to Choss:
Peatling Parva. Flagged section of the penine way over Black Hill
Stourbridge. Stance adopted by slow a climber on German Schoolgirl.
Peatling Parva. Flagged section of the penine way over Black Hill
Stourbridge. Stance adopted by slow a climber on German Schoolgirl.
In reply to Choss:
Broughton - a medical condition which causes the sufferer to believe they are sunning themselves in the tropics. Thought to be transmitted by inhaling toxic vapours from the Irwell.
Broughton - a medical condition which causes the sufferer to believe they are sunning themselves in the tropics. Thought to be transmitted by inhaling toxic vapours from the Irwell.
In reply to Choss:
Trellech, a small spike of rock that snags the rope and refuses to release iy even after repeated flicks.
Trellech, a small spike of rock that snags the rope and refuses to release iy even after repeated flicks.
In reply to Choss:
Exeter: sudden, unpredictable and uncontrollable loss of all four points of contact on a slab.
Exeter: sudden, unpredictable and uncontrollable loss of all four points of contact on a slab.
In reply to Choss:
Rosehearty - pretty, young, single, female member of any climbing club, inevitably the subject of secret crushes among the entire male membership, none of whom have a chance as they're not exactly Manningford Bohunes, are they?
Rosehearty - pretty, young, single, female member of any climbing club, inevitably the subject of secret crushes among the entire male membership, none of whom have a chance as they're not exactly Manningford Bohunes, are they?
In reply to Choss:
Kettering, the act of extracting an ice tool from a placement straight into your face.
Kettering, the act of extracting an ice tool from a placement straight into your face.
In reply to Choss:
Barrow Gurney - a Climbing or bouldering bail out where the Chance of walking away without a bad Injury is Judged to be less than 50%
Barrow Gurney - a Climbing or bouldering bail out where the Chance of walking away without a bad Injury is Judged to be less than 50%
In reply to Choss:
Callerhues: the staining to feet caused by wearing new, brightly coloured rock shoes on a hot sweaty day.
Callerhues: the staining to feet caused by wearing new, brightly coloured rock shoes on a hot sweaty day.
Chesterfield: The range of hard routes/problems at the wall/crag that you've got totally wired and that you are happy to demonstrate to one and all.
Chester: One who cracks gags and banters with onlookers whilst working through his/her Chesterfield.
Chichester: Asian kid who comes to the UK and flashes each of the problems in your Chesterfield.
In reply to Choss:
Glastonbury, ice particles adhering to facial hair.
Chorley, arduous and tedious approach slope.
Chorleywood, like a Chorley but harder.
Fazakerley, the spasm induced by frost particles falling down the back of your neck when sitting up in a cold tent.
Glastonbury, ice particles adhering to facial hair.
Chorley, arduous and tedious approach slope.
Chorleywood, like a Chorley but harder.
Fazakerley, the spasm induced by frost particles falling down the back of your neck when sitting up in a cold tent.
In reply to Shani:
Middleton Stoney- The realisation you've driven to the wrong area in search of a crag.
Middleton Stoney- The realisation you've driven to the wrong area in search of a crag.
In reply to Choss:
Biddulph, a last ditch throw for the top.
Corfe Mullen, a very warm bit of neckwear,
Liskeard, the nausea felt watching your last runner, placed with much wantage doing a nemptnett thrubwell.
Biddulph, a last ditch throw for the top.
Corfe Mullen, a very warm bit of neckwear,
Liskeard, the nausea felt watching your last runner, placed with much wantage doing a nemptnett thrubwell.
In reply to Double Knee Bar:
Surely thats a Burbage? Buxton and Hinckley residents will know what I mean.
> Middleton Stoney- The realisation you've driven to the wrong area in search of a crag.
Surely thats a Burbage? Buxton and Hinckley residents will know what I mean.
In reply to DerwentDiluted:
Nah, it has to be a Middleton Stoney by dint of the fact that it was the first thing that sprang to my mind when I saw this thread....I simply couldn't phrase my definition well enough (thus, "nice work, DKB").
And Dawes' book mentions "Middleton Stoney and Stoney Middleton in the same day" or some such. And I pass through Middleton Stoney more often than through the wrong Burbage.
AND you couldn't use Burbage as a definition in this way, as that would be unfair on the "real" Burbage
Nah, it has to be a Middleton Stoney by dint of the fact that it was the first thing that sprang to my mind when I saw this thread....I simply couldn't phrase my definition well enough (thus, "nice work, DKB").
And Dawes' book mentions "Middleton Stoney and Stoney Middleton in the same day" or some such. And I pass through Middleton Stoney more often than through the wrong Burbage.
AND you couldn't use Burbage as a definition in this way, as that would be unfair on the "real" Burbage
Post edited at 12:52
In reply to Choss:
Bodmin; an irregularity in the surface of a ledge that only becomes painfully apparent after one has set up a perfect seated belay.
Bodmin; an irregularity in the surface of a ledge that only becomes painfully apparent after one has set up a perfect seated belay.
In reply to Choss:
Honiton - when you start falling off and a desperate grab somehow keeps you in place.
Honiton - when you start falling off and a desperate grab somehow keeps you in place.
In reply to Choss:
Ballater: the noise made by climbers racks as they walk down from the top of a route.
Ballater: the noise made by climbers racks as they walk down from the top of a route.
In reply to pasbury:
Marple: A hold so big your gran could hang it.
Gorple: A small, sharp, vicious hold that draws blood.
Marple: A hold so big your gran could hang it.
Gorple: A small, sharp, vicious hold that draws blood.
In reply to Choss:
Bridgend - the point at which one must leave the imagined security of a corner and strike up one or the other face; the point at which the width of a chimney exceeds the distance between one's feet at maximum split.
Bridgend - the point at which one must leave the imagined security of a corner and strike up one or the other face; the point at which the width of a chimney exceeds the distance between one's feet at maximum split.
In reply to Choss:
Lostock - Common on a first visit to a crag. Defines the moment all climbers in a party recognise that they are on the wrong approach route to the crag.
Lostock - Common on a first visit to a crag. Defines the moment all climbers in a party recognise that they are on the wrong approach route to the crag.
In reply to Choss:
Headingley: Romping up a climb with gusto, oblivious to the fact that your last bit of gear has lifted up and slipped down the rope to your belayer, so making a ground-fall possible.
Headingley: Romping up a climb with gusto, oblivious to the fact that your last bit of gear has lifted up and slipped down the rope to your belayer, so making a ground-fall possible.
In reply to Choss:
I have The Meaning of Liff dictionary and took it to the pub once. It made its way round the whole pub over the evening. I knew where it was by the sudden giggles and guffaws. It was a good night, made very much silly by a funny book
I have The Meaning of Liff dictionary and took it to the pub once. It made its way round the whole pub over the evening. I knew where it was by the sudden giggles and guffaws. It was a good night, made very much silly by a funny book
In reply to Choss:
Clackmannan, swinging #9 wallnut/testicle contact.
Thrumpton, one who wonders if the downfall is 'in' as they scrape ice off the car windscreen.
Fintry, vague frost liable to excite a thrumpton.
Achnasheen, patina found on popular Scottish routes.
Clackmannan, swinging #9 wallnut/testicle contact.
Thrumpton, one who wonders if the downfall is 'in' as they scrape ice off the car windscreen.
Fintry, vague frost liable to excite a thrumpton.
Achnasheen, patina found on popular Scottish routes.
In reply to Choss:
Laxey, the unexpected explosive departure of a bird from your route passing less than a foot from your head.
Seaton Carew, the realisation whilst bumsliding that your outer clothing is abrading fast.
Seaton Sluice, whilst deep water soloing, less than smooth falling technique.
Magdalen Laver, unplanned and unholy wash following a seaton sluice.
Laxey, the unexpected explosive departure of a bird from your route passing less than a foot from your head.
Seaton Carew, the realisation whilst bumsliding that your outer clothing is abrading fast.
Seaton Sluice, whilst deep water soloing, less than smooth falling technique.
Magdalen Laver, unplanned and unholy wash following a seaton sluice.
In reply to Choss:
Stoodleigh - a crag turd. As in 'oh no some dirty fecker has Curled out a Stoodleigh on this Belay Ledge'
Stoodleigh - a crag turd. As in 'oh no some dirty fecker has Curled out a Stoodleigh on this Belay Ledge'
In reply to Choss:
Gornal - inattentive, unresponsive belayer, typically hungover
Amblecote - the indecision in a group of climbers about where to climb that usually occurs on the first warm spring day of the year
Kinver - to tentatively test gear placement whilst maintaining 4 points of contact
Gornal - inattentive, unresponsive belayer, typically hungover
Amblecote - the indecision in a group of climbers about where to climb that usually occurs on the first warm spring day of the year
Kinver - to tentatively test gear placement whilst maintaining 4 points of contact
In reply to Choss:
Ulpha - A move made to gain height in a chimney that is entirely the wrong width.
Ulpha - A move made to gain height in a chimney that is entirely the wrong width.
In reply to Choss:
Great idea, classic thread!
Gleadless - the emotion one feels seconding a route that you've just bottled and let your mate lead, and which turns out to be well within your capability.
Great idea, classic thread!
Gleadless - the emotion one feels seconding a route that you've just bottled and let your mate lead, and which turns out to be well within your capability.
Post edited at 13:21
In reply to Choss:
Plucks Gutter - when Someone Climbing above you has a trouser malfunction, with said article of clothing slipping way Below their harness waistbelt giving you an unwelcome view of their butt Crevice. Often Heard on Belay Ledges "sort your trousers out Mate, i copped a right eyeful of your plucks gutter on that last Pitch"
Plucks Gutter - when Someone Climbing above you has a trouser malfunction, with said article of clothing slipping way Below their harness waistbelt giving you an unwelcome view of their butt Crevice. Often Heard on Belay Ledges "sort your trousers out Mate, i copped a right eyeful of your plucks gutter on that last Pitch"
In reply to Choss:
This is a genius thread - when's the book out?!
Alternative definitions for Baildon:
1) Some who habitually "bites of more than they can chew" when it comes to route choice, resulting in a seeming ability to downclimb harder than they can go up!
2) The act of completing the rock part of a route and then downclimbing because the remaining climbing invovles an earth cornice or brambles, or nettles or all three! A route that exhibits this property.
Shipley: items used to cross soggy ground to get to the base of a boulder problem without getting your rock boots wet. Also: the act of doing this.
PP.
This is a genius thread - when's the book out?!
Alternative definitions for Baildon:
1) Some who habitually "bites of more than they can chew" when it comes to route choice, resulting in a seeming ability to downclimb harder than they can go up!
2) The act of completing the rock part of a route and then downclimbing because the remaining climbing invovles an earth cornice or brambles, or nettles or all three! A route that exhibits this property.
Shipley: items used to cross soggy ground to get to the base of a boulder problem without getting your rock boots wet. Also: the act of doing this.
PP.
In reply to Choss:
Sheffield - an inappropriate hand placement when spotting a female boulderer
Gloucester - a polished route
Sheffield - an inappropriate hand placement when spotting a female boulderer
Gloucester - a polished route
In reply to Choss:
Great Missenden - that feeling when you cant go climbing next weekend because your Other half insists you do the Decorating/garden/DIY/insert Tedious domestic chore of your Choice.
Great Missenden - that feeling when you cant go climbing next weekend because your Other half insists you do the Decorating/garden/DIY/insert Tedious domestic chore of your Choice.
In reply to DerwentDiluted:
That's brilliant!
How did you know?
> Oh FFS I'm trying to get some work done...
> Swadlincote, a mates duvet jacket, which always looks warmer than yours.
That's brilliant!
How did you know?
Post edited at 15:14
In reply to Choss:
Hathersage - climbing with someone who knows the crag intimately.
Staines - a chop route.
Hathersage - climbing with someone who knows the crag intimately.
Staines - a chop route.
In reply to Choss:
Great Sankey - the bomber runner you place after a tricky, runout bit of climbing, which suddenly makes the world a better place
Sea Palling - the act of sticking your head over the top of a sea cliff and deciding the tide is a little too friendly to get on the route you want to climb
Cark - the dryness in your mouth you get upon completing a section of hard climbing when you realise that there's more to come before it's in the bag
Great Sankey - the bomber runner you place after a tricky, runout bit of climbing, which suddenly makes the world a better place
Sea Palling - the act of sticking your head over the top of a sea cliff and deciding the tide is a little too friendly to get on the route you want to climb
Cark - the dryness in your mouth you get upon completing a section of hard climbing when you realise that there's more to come before it's in the bag
In reply to Choss:
Dingwall, otherwise blank bit of wall, an ascent of which is made possible by bullet holes. See Curbar, Burbage and Pex hill for examples.
Mevagissey, the subconscious differentiation between acceptable rock damage caused by quarrymen and the military using explosives, pick axes and bullets in antiquity, and unacceptable rock damage caused by a stiff bristled toothbrush in modern times.
Gorseinon, the ability to tolerate spikey vegetation while topping out in extremis.
Cricklade, the inability to function following a difficult bolsover or sustained gorseinon.
Dingwall, otherwise blank bit of wall, an ascent of which is made possible by bullet holes. See Curbar, Burbage and Pex hill for examples.
Mevagissey, the subconscious differentiation between acceptable rock damage caused by quarrymen and the military using explosives, pick axes and bullets in antiquity, and unacceptable rock damage caused by a stiff bristled toothbrush in modern times.
Gorseinon, the ability to tolerate spikey vegetation while topping out in extremis.
Cricklade, the inability to function following a difficult bolsover or sustained gorseinon.
In reply to Choss:
Brixworth - a crux move at Least 5 Metres above your last Good runner. NB. Only Applicable to Trad routes.
Brixworth - a crux move at Least 5 Metres above your last Good runner. NB. Only Applicable to Trad routes.
In reply to Choss:
Plumstead - a pair of snug fitting gentlemans Underpants that in a fall help Prevent ones parts getting Trapped in a harness part.
Well fitting Plumsteads also help guard against an unplanned Plucks Gutter.
Plumstead - a pair of snug fitting gentlemans Underpants that in a fall help Prevent ones parts getting Trapped in a harness part.
Well fitting Plumsteads also help guard against an unplanned Plucks Gutter.
Post edited at 08:28
In reply to Choss:
Yes, they'd help to protect one from and uncomfortable Prestwick - or maybe even the slightly more serious Painswick.
> Plumstead - a pair of snug fitting gentlemans Underpants that in a fall help Prevent ones parts getting Trapped in a harness part.
> Well fitting Plumsteads also help guard against an unplanned Plucks Gutter.
Yes, they'd help to protect one from and uncomfortable Prestwick - or maybe even the slightly more serious Painswick.
In reply to Choss:
Epping, series of decisions and events which unknown at the time lead inexorably towards an epic;
"Well Simon I think the epping started when we decided to leave the spare gas cylinders at base."
"Too true Joe, but you upped it a notch by breaking your effin leg"
Epping, series of decisions and events which unknown at the time lead inexorably towards an epic;
"Well Simon I think the epping started when we decided to leave the spare gas cylinders at base."
"Too true Joe, but you upped it a notch by breaking your effin leg"
In reply to Choss:
Bookham - The compressed mass of previously enticing sandwiches found at the bottom of your rucksack
Bookham - The compressed mass of previously enticing sandwiches found at the bottom of your rucksack
In reply to Choss:
Tintern Parva - is that Piece of Kit you bought because it seemed Like a good idea at the Time, but Which you have since never used. Eg. I bought a fixe pulley years ago, seemed a good idea at the Time, still brand new and unused. Turned out to be a Tintern Parva.
(Named after tinTern quarry, which seemed a good idea to visit at the Time, but Turns out to be horrible, with a killer walk out)
Tintern Parva - is that Piece of Kit you bought because it seemed Like a good idea at the Time, but Which you have since never used. Eg. I bought a fixe pulley years ago, seemed a good idea at the Time, still brand new and unused. Turned out to be a Tintern Parva.
(Named after tinTern quarry, which seemed a good idea to visit at the Time, but Turns out to be horrible, with a killer walk out)
In reply to Choss:
Whimple, analagous to the bidding in contract bridge; a round of increasingly debilitating afflictions offered as excuses by potential leaders of the first climb of the day.
Whimple, analagous to the bidding in contract bridge; a round of increasingly debilitating afflictions offered as excuses by potential leaders of the first climb of the day.
In reply to Choss:
Weobley - when a leader makes a particularly unlikely or spectactular recovery from a slip e.g. avoiding a barn door by furious windmilling or making an unlikely dyno thus causing near heart failure in belayer and onlookers, then displaying great fortitude by regaining composure, then falling off.
Weobley - when a leader makes a particularly unlikely or spectactular recovery from a slip e.g. avoiding a barn door by furious windmilling or making an unlikely dyno thus causing near heart failure in belayer and onlookers, then displaying great fortitude by regaining composure, then falling off.
Bulwell: Poorly reasoned/hollow assurance to a leader to "Go for it" as "S/He'll be fine".
In reply to Choss:
If i actually Hear Someone using one of these terms at a crag or wall, im gonna crease up. Please report any you Hear used.
If i actually Hear Someone using one of these terms at a crag or wall, im gonna crease up. Please report any you Hear used.
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