In reply to johncoxmysteriously:
> Well, for a start it seems it won't play DVDs and you have to download some online freeware to do so. WTF??
That will the EU imposing their anti trust laws that stop Microsoft using their dominance by making you use their DVD players.
> Secondly, it doesn't properly play existing chess database programs or analysis engines.
Can't comment, but in our experience many software companies haven't pulled their fingers out to make their products Windows 8 friendly. I don't know why. For us, we simply had to up the revision of our offering.
> Third, it doesn't have a ******* word processing capacity. Again, WTF?? Computers are for writing on, aren't they??
That will be the EU again. However, you can do a lot of word processing online these days if you haven't got office. Outlook.com or Google Drive might help you out or you can install Open Office. Or you could pay for a Word processing package shock horror!
> Fourth, of course I don't want it to operate with a touchscreen; what am I, some kind of ******* teenager?
If you don't want to use a touchscreen, don't. You are an adult, even though you seem to be coming over as a spoilt teenager right now.
> Fifth, it comes with all sorts of ludicrous crap I can't imagine needing.
Nothing new there. PCs bought from large department stores have been preloaded with crap since the beginning of time. What has that got to do with Windows 8?
Given the Windows 8 threads on here, why did you buy a Windows 8 PC? It isn't hard to obtain PCs and laptops with XP if that is what you want. I don't really understand the rantings. Windows 8 is what it is. Some like it, others don't but no one says you have to have one or the other.