UKC

As a 50yr old father of two girls who are 8 and 10 I find myself completely at a loss with how to cope with their access to technology and the internet.

I do take my kids out on outdoor activities, they do gymnastics and swimming but limiting time on their iPods or tablets and controlling what they see and do on these things is, I find, very difficult.

I don't think that simply stopping them from using these things is the answer as they need to be able to relate to their peers but restricting use is also more difficult than it might at first appear.

In the past, parents could adapt to changes in technology because these changes took place at a much slower pace. But now, instead of a 5 or 10yr change, we are seeing changes occur over months and it is tough to keep up.

Do you, the UKC expert pool, feel that parents are ready for this or are we venturing into an unknown situation where the outcome may be a significant change in human behavior?

In reply to Removed User:

I know what you mean. You could try spending some quality time doing something a bit more old-fashioned indoors. Don't know if you ever used to watch Blue Peter? They had some great ideas. What about sticky-back plastic, an old Fairy Liquid bottle and scissors?

In reply to felt:

Actually do quite a lot of that. My girls are very arty and like their crafts.

TBH, I think we do a lot of things as a family, a lot of physical activity etc.

But there is still the down time, the time when, as a kid I would watch the telly with the rest of the famly but now they are off "face timing" or watching netflix, or playing minecraft.How much of this is too much and how much of the material is damaging?

In reply to Removed User:


The only hope, is to have kids when you are a teenager, starting a family at 40 parents have not much chance of keeping up.

In reply to Removed User:

Can't really say. Mine are still on Fireman Sam, Bob the Builder, Peppa etc. They watch far too much, sometimes more than two hours a day, although F. Sam in particular is a good role model ("cool and calm"). My own stupid fault. Sounds like you're doing a good job with the crafts. Whether it's harmful? I think the harm comes from both the amount and the content. Coupla hours is probably the upper limit at their age; if it's violent etc, probably not the best. But who knows? Old-school fairy tales are pretty vicious

Thinking back to my own telly watching, I'd sit in front of the cricket for six houra a day eating apples. Gave me a good knowledge of Australian and West Indian pacemen, and rotted my teeth, but I wish I'd watched less and practised my violin more. And had a good role model like James Stewart, rather than that no mark off Scooby Doo, or Capitaine Haddock, or Jeff Thomson. I can barely play a Bach partita in its entirety, which is a shame.

In reply to Jim C:


I beg to differ - I've got a deal with Little Ent that we're going to climb El Cap together before I'm 50.
(I'm 45 and she's nearly 8 so you do the maths)

E

In reply to Removed User:


>... but now they are off "face timing" or watching netflix, or playing minecraft.How much of this is too much and how much of the material is damaging?

I have no idea what these are, is that because I'm mid fifties, or just lazy?
( I have a feeling that others older than me are going to say I'm lazy, and they know what these are)

In reply to Removed User:

I'm of a similar age to you but my kids are a bit older than yours ( 12 & 16 ).

My oldest ( daughter ) was subject to some FB bullying when she was younger and handled it in a far more mature fashion than I would have managed.

My lad is currently playing G T A with his football team mates which is great given our rural location.

All about context I guess, if you are a sensible parent you tend to have sensible kids.

R was allowed to open a Facebook account ( mainly to keep up with football & rugby fixtures, training sessions etc ) on the condition that either me or his mum would be a friend.

He chose me as he knew his mother would be all over him like the proverbial rash.

No problems so far.

You have to balance these things I suppose but for us, again because of location it's more a blessing than a curse!

In reply to Enty:
I'm jealous, none of my kids are outdoors types.( I would have settled for one of them to come up Ben Lomond with me today, your's sounds great, good luck with it.

However, the poster was asking about technology and children.
I do see that there will be a role for tech in that trip, but not the kind being discussed here.

In reply to Removed User:


When it comes down to it, is this much different to taking themselves off to a corner with a book?

In reply to Jim C:




Little Ent was totally inspired when Andy K climbed Tangerine Trip with his 13 year old daughter. Ella did a blog each day of here 4 day ascent on CBBC.

E

In reply to nufkin:


So my 10 yr old's best friend informs her that she is allowed to watch "Orange is the new black" on netflix which she can see on her pocket sized ipod. This child has an older sister who would likely be able to gain access for her. My daughter is very independent and headstrong so informing her that this isn't appropriate may not work.

So no, I don't think it is exactly the same.

Remember all the wild and wonderfull stuff you did as a kid which you got away with? Well now it all gets recorded and pasted on you tube for the whole world to see.

In reply to Removed User:


I hadn't thought of it from that angle - I was meaning the 'antisocialness' of reading being similar to looking at a tablet by yourself.

I suppose watching inappropriate things might be similar to reading inappropriate books, of course

In reply to Removed User:



That was the good thing for me back in my childhood, none of my conversations with my friends (with two empty tin cans and a taut string ) were not able to be recoded

Digital messaging was just that. digits
( usually two fingers, one was too rude for a ten year old)

In reply to nufkin:



Yes, but it is the access to this stuff, plus the the volume of it, plus all of the other issues around childhood development etc.etc. which bothers me. Not because it is all bad but because I simply don't know how to cope with it.

In reply to Jim C:




Pretty sure I was swearing like a Navvy by the time I was 10, had probably been exposed to some porn and perhaps got myself into some trouble.

But I was outside, exposed to the "real world" not sitting inside exposed to the fantasy one. Not sure which one is better but I know my preference.

In reply to Removed User:


A wild child in comparison to me. Being 1969 in Glasgow ( when I was 10 ) it was rather difficult to get 'Exposed to Porn'
( That is , unless you found a Girlie a Magazine stashed outside somewhere)

Not sure I would have been that bothered anyway.

TV broadcasting hours was very limited ( in channels, and risqué content, ) and as we had one (B&W ) TV, so was by nature heavily censored.

In reply to Removed User:


I'm a 58 year old father of 3 (all adults now) but I haven't really noticed a big problem in keeping up. Sure, certain types of on-line interaction are changing at a faster pace than previously, but I don't think it's that hard to stay on top of changes, at least to a level that allows you to make informed decisions.

In reply to Removed User:


This is a concept which younger generations wont share with you, the internet isn't some virtual fantasy world, of course if can be, just like "real life" can. You can while away your hours playing minecraft or you can spend hours with your head in lord of the rings. Or you can have a deep and meaningful conversation with someone face to face, over the phone, over email. You can look a word up in a dictionary, or online. The internet is as real as anything else. As people find out when they post the wrong things in the wrong places or become the victims of online bullying. Teaching your kids the online world is fantasy probably isn't a good start

There's lots of good research out there re childhood development and technology, the 2 hours a day in front of a screen thing for example, is outdated nonsense that a lot of people still follow. There was a psychologist on the radio the other day who seemed to think 13 was a significant age, I've forgotten everything else she said.

I think in reality there are probably a lot of parents who aren't able to stop their kids doing things online, I know there would have been nothing anyone could have done to prevent me from looking at what I wanted from 12 onwards. If you really cant control their online world then the only thing you've really got is hoping they'll at least be able to talk to you about it. There's stacks of reading in the never never fantasy google world if you're interested, as it's obviously something a lot of people are concerned about.

In reply to Jim C:




What they are doing is

Video calling
Watching movies
Playing computer games

Apart from the former, nothing new for kids, it's just that they are doing it in their own devices.