UKC

As a climber, you should know...

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The definition of esoteric.
You don't need cripplingly tight shoes.
That climbing is a lifestyle, not a hobby, sport or pastime.

Anyone want to add any others.
 crayefish 30 Apr 2014
In reply to higherclimbingwales:

Gear is MUCH cheaper than one's life.
To be a good boulder you have to take your shirt off.
Short shorts are NOT welcome on male climbers.
 chris fox 30 Apr 2014
In reply to higherclimbingwales:

Ron Hills are for running NOT climbing
 Bob 30 Apr 2014
In reply to higherclimbingwales:

Your 5m high pile of choss isn't worth three stars.
 victorclimber 30 Apr 2014
In reply to higherclimbingwales:
How to Brag
 Jon Stewart 30 Apr 2014
In reply to higherclimbingwales:

If you found it easy, it's because it's a soft touch.
 The Pylon King 30 Apr 2014
In reply to higherclimbingwales:

That route you just did that seems really too hard for HVS but is too easy to be E1 is in fact.........
In reply to The Pylon King:

I was wandering how long it would take to bring this up.
 The Pylon King 30 Apr 2014
In reply to higherclimbingwales:

Wandering where?
 DaveHK 30 Apr 2014
In reply to Jon Stewart:
> (In reply to highclimber)
>
> If you found it easy, it's because it's a soft touch.

Or you're going well.

 Tom Valentine 30 Apr 2014
In reply to higherclimbingwales:

Ropes won't spoil your photos; mats will.
 Blackmud 30 Apr 2014
In reply to higherclimbingwales:

That there is an absurd list of rules and expectations about what you should/shouldn't do/think/wear/etc. with regard to climbing, and that you can expect to be thoroughly sneered out on infraction of any such rules.
 The Potato 30 Apr 2014
In reply to higherclimbingwales:

....how to face smear when needed
 Bob 30 Apr 2014
In reply to The Pylon King:

> That route you just did that seems really too hard for HVS but is too easy to be E1 is in fact.........

VS
nikkormat 30 Apr 2014
In reply to chris fox:

Ronhills are for everything. God's trousers.
 Enty 30 Apr 2014
In reply to higherclimbingwales:

That there is an absurd list of rules and expectations about what you should/shouldn't do/think/wear/etc. with regard to climbing, and that you can expect to be thoroughly sneered out on infraction of any such rules and just like the Velominati rules which apply to cycling, you should take these as being a bit of fun. Being bothered by people who like stuff like this makes you look like a dick.......

E
 Jon Stewart 30 Apr 2014
In reply to higherclimbingwales:

No matter how hard you climb, there's an HVS out there that will break your legs.
 alan moore 30 Apr 2014
In reply to higherclimbingwales:
That climbers overuse and often misuse the word esoteric.
That even comfy rock shoes hurt if you wear them for long enough.
That most climbers who consider their hobby to be a lifestyle will give up or take up mountain biking when they get married/have kids/reach 25.
 DaveHK 30 Apr 2014
In reply to alan moore:
> (In reply to highclimber)
> That most climbers who consider their hobby to be a lifestyle will give up or take up mountain biking when they get married/have kids/reach 25.

Very true.
 annak 30 Apr 2014
In reply to higherclimbingwales:

Every time you think you're making progress you'll be sandbagged by a 'classic'
 Kevster 30 Apr 2014
In reply to alan moore:


We all have the same experience when at our limits. Beginners or wads, no exception, how you handle it is the difference.

A warm hat and coat on a sunny day is not stupid.

A sun hat and sun glasses on a winters day are not stupid.

VDiff chinmeys are harder than many HVS's.
HVS is a grade of sandbags and chop routes in disguise.

Nut keys have many uses, one of which your second may need to know.
 JIMBO 30 Apr 2014
You should know that...

UKC is a waste of your time and you should go climbing instead.
 DaveHK 30 Apr 2014
In reply to JIMBO:
> You should know that...
>
> UKC is a waste of your time and you should go climbing instead.

Its dark and raining right now.

 JIMBO 30 Apr 2014
In reply to DaveHK:

Go training and be better when it is sunny... or go abroad
 aln 30 Apr 2014
In reply to The Pylon King:

Mild E1?
 aln 30 Apr 2014
In reply to The Pylon King:

> Wandering where?

Wandering around looking for 3 Pebble Slab.
 DaveHK 30 Apr 2014
In reply to JIMBO:
> (In reply to Dave Kerr)
>
> Go training and be better when it is sunny... or go abroad

I'm over 25 and have given up climbing for mountain biking.

 The Pylon King 30 Apr 2014
In reply to Tom Valentine:

> Ropes won't spoil your photos; mats will.

+1
 Blackmud 30 Apr 2014
In reply to Enty:

Being bothered by people who like stuff like this is equally as silly as being bothered about saying things that make you look like a dick, because when you're up on the wall with nowt but your own farts for company, none of it matters.
 Oliver Smaje 30 Apr 2014
In reply to crayefish:


> To be a good boulder you have to take your shirt off.

Don't forget the beanie!



 The New NickB 30 Apr 2014
In reply to chris fox:

> Ron Hills are for running NOT climbing

They are not for running either. Even Ron Hill doesn't wear them.
 Otis 30 Apr 2014
In reply to nikkormat:

> Ronhills are for everything. God's trousers.

Only when god is doing the decorating, taking the bins out or feeling ill and spending the day on the sofa.....

Horrible, horrible garments that need to be banished to the 1980s!

 Misha 30 Apr 2014
In reply to higherclimbingwales:
That the ground is hard.
 deepsoup 30 Apr 2014
In reply to nikkormat:
> Ronhills are for everything. God's trousers.

God wears Troll Omnis.
In reply to higherclimbingwales:

Anything under 12 foot high doesn't need a bolt in it.
 Dave Garnett 01 May 2014
In reply to Jon Stewart:
> (In reply to highclimber)
>
> No matter how hard you climb, there's an HVS out there that will break your legs.

As a public service I think you should tell us which one it is!
 Trangia 01 May 2014
In reply to victorclimber:

> How to Brag

with an ego bigger than your dick
 Choss 01 May 2014
In reply to higherclimbingwales:

How to Interpret guidebook descriptions Properly, so that when swinging Leads your partner gets all the dicey run out Pitches.
 gethin_allen 01 May 2014
In reply to alan moore:
> That most climbers who consider their hobby to be a lifestyle will give up or take up mountain biking when they get married/have kids/reach 25.

I pretty much gave up mountain biking and started climbing around 25 so I don't know what that says about my climbing.

My contribution to the list is that as a climber you should know that sharpening all your ice gear in December is a guaranteed way of ensuring a wet windy and mild winter.
 GrahamD 01 May 2014
In reply to higherclimbingwales:

You will see the rock much better if you take off those expensive wrap around shades.
 GrahamD 01 May 2014
In reply to Blackmud:

> .... when you're up on the wall with nowt but your own farts for company, none of it matters.

On that score, you have to be supremely confident to fart on a route.

 Choss 01 May 2014
In reply to higherclimbingwales:

Climbing weekends away often involve a fair amount of evening Drinking... climbing with a Seriously fierce Hangover doesnt do anything to Enhance the Experience... and if its a south west scrumpy hangover, you may find out the real reason you wear leg Loops.
 rallymania 01 May 2014
In reply to The Pylon King:

> That route you just did that seems really too hard for HVS but is too easy to be E1 is in fact.........

a Scottish VS?
 jt232 01 May 2014
In reply to Kevster:

> We all have the same experience when at our limits. Beginners or wads, no exception, how you handle it is the difference.

> A warm hat and coat on a sunny day is not stupid.

> A sun hat and sun glasses on a winters day are not stupid.

> VDiff chinmeys are harder than many HVS's.

> HVS is a grade of sandbags and chop routes in disguise.

> Nut keys have many uses, one of which your second may need to know.

However, the most important use of a nut key is to eat pasta off of when you forget your fork
 Bulls Crack 01 May 2014
In reply to chris fox:
> (In reply to highclimber)
>
> Ron Hills are for running NOT climbing

pah:-p
 Jon Stewart 01 May 2014
In reply to Dave Garnett:

> As a public service I think you should tell us which one it is!

This one will have a good go for those operating in the low E grades, but I suspect there are plenty in Northumberland that could cause serious damage to a serious E5+ leader too?

http://www.rockfax.com/databases/r.php?i=6964
 FactorXXX 01 May 2014
In reply to higherclimbingwales:

That catching 'Last Orders', is more important than getting that expensive bit of gear out.
 FreshSlate 01 May 2014
In reply to Bob:

> Your 5m high pile of choss isn't worth three stars.

Tell that to the Pylon King
 neuromancer 01 May 2014
In reply to FactorXXX:

Nothing is more important than cragswag.
 FactorXXX 01 May 2014
In reply to FactorXXX:

That catching 'Last Orders', is more important than getting that expensive bit of gear out.

...and if you do leave some gear behind doing so, or in similar circumstances, then don't bleat on about it in the 'Lost and Found' section of a popular Climbing forum....
 Andy Say 01 May 2014
In reply to stroppygob:

> Anything under 12 foot high doesn't need a bolt in it.

Anything over 12 feet high doesn't 'need' a bolt in it.
 alooker 01 May 2014
In reply to higherclimbingwales:

There aren't any short cuts

Seeking routes out that are soft just for the grade isn't rewarding

Removing cams isn't blindingly obvious for a novice second...

If it goes in chances are it'll come out. Eventually.
 Cardi 01 May 2014
In reply to The Pylon King:

> That route you just did that seems really too hard for HVS is in fact.........

Too hard and awkward to be E1, and is therefore HVS
 paul mitchell 01 May 2014
In reply to higherclimbingwales:

Food is a more powerful addiction!
Mitch
 The Pylon King 01 May 2014
In reply to Cardi:

> Too hard and awkward to be E1, and is therefore HVS

yes!!!
 bouldery bits 01 May 2014
In reply to higherclimbingwales:

Poo THEN harness.
 Timmd 01 May 2014
In reply to higherclimbingwales:
About the dangers of faffing on the morning of going climbing, cups of tea, visits to shops, food stops, searching for a toilet....suddenly it's lunch time.
Post edited at 23:29
In reply to higherclimbingwales:

If you need to do a "sit start", don't bother, it's all too short to be worthwhile, and you'll just look silly.
 Jonny2vests 02 May 2014
In reply to higherclimbingwales:

The rock's not going to climb itself.
 Trangia 02 May 2014
In reply to higherclimbingwales:

"It's only a V Diff" means it's going to prove almost impossible to get off the ground due to high polish, and when you do succeed, if there it's a crack or chimney your knuckles are going to bleed, you will become wedged to the point of believing you are never going be able to move up or down, you will pant and come close to exhaustion as you attempt to wriggle out of your predicament, and you will arrive at the top bruised, bleeding battered and in a state of exhaustion. But always remember "It's only a V Diff"

For the rest of the day you will thoroughly enjoy the pleasures of pleasant pain free balance climbing on delightful VSs and HVSs
 butteredfrog 02 May 2014
In reply to higherclimbingwales:

Fools Paradise is named Fools Paradise for a reason!
 Charlie Noakes 02 May 2014
In reply to higherclimbingwales:

that you're nowhere near as cool as you think you are.
 Fraser 02 May 2014
In reply to higherclimbingwales:

It's not the fall that hurts, it's the landing.
 Fraser 02 May 2014
In reply to higherclimbingwales:

There's often a clue in a route's name. If it involves death, blood or dismemberment be prepared to walk away and choose a different route.
 wercat 02 May 2014
In reply to higherclimbingwales:

The difference between Sailing (involving boats) and Seiling, involving ropes ...
In reply to higherclimbingwales:

No matter how clearly defined that Cuillin route looks on the topo, when you're standing underneath it you'll feel like you're looking at the wrong route on the wrong mountain in the wrong part of the country.

 French Erick 02 May 2014
In reply to bouldery bits:
> (In reply to highclimber)
>
> Poo THEN harness.

Proper wise words those!

European climbers should never look at grade comparisson tables when climbing in the US for the first time, otherwise they will take up MTB.
 mrdigitaljedi 02 May 2014
In reply to higherclimbingwales:

The ground is always harder than you think.

Everytime you get to the top its a win for you, when you dont the crag wins.
 seankenny 02 May 2014
In reply to higherclimbingwales:

...people who say "the best climber is the one having the most fun" are tedious (Jeff Lowe excepted), and that refering to the "Peaks" marks you out as gauche, whatever grade you climb.
 jon 02 May 2014
In reply to seankenny:

Alex, I think.
 Kevster 02 May 2014
In reply to seankenny:

Whats all this with the Peaks?

I feel I should know something there.
In reply to higherclimbingwales:

Crags always look shorter from the bottom.
In reply to Jon Stewart:

> This one will have a good go for those operating in the low E grades, but I suspect there are plenty in Northumberland that could cause serious damage to a serious E5+ leader too?


Hah! That was the first route I tried after breaking my ankle. Neither I nor my E5-leading mate even managed to get high enough on it to hurt ourselves.

jcm
WhenImReady 03 May 2014
In reply to higherclimbingwales:

That you're only competing against yourself
That the mountains will always be there: the trick is to be there too
That who you are with is just as important as what you do
That if you can jam, every hold is a belay
 Blue Straggler 03 May 2014
In reply to higherclimbingwales:

"It's all there"
 mrdigitaljedi 03 May 2014
In reply to higherclimbingwales:

Just because you cant do that route, doesnt mean an 11yr old cant.
 coreybennett 04 May 2014
In reply to Fraser:

That's bleed in hell off my tick list...
 Chris Murray 04 May 2014
In reply to butteredfrog:

> Fools Paradise is named Fools Paradise for a reason!

Makes me a fool then. I loved it both times.
Nora Dorian 07 May 2014
In reply to higherclimbingwales:

as a climber you should know about this serie I do for Epic TV about Last climbing places in Mallorca. Here is the last episode
http://www.epictv.com/media/podcast/the-bouldering-on-majorca-is-really-har...
and the 3rd...
http://www.epictv.com/media/podcast/this-new-crag-in-majorca-is-really-frea...
Check the others on epic tv page. cheers!
 DerwentDiluted 07 May 2014
In reply to higherclimbingwales:

Heights aren't at all scary. Depths can be terrifying.
 Eagleone 07 May 2014
In reply to alan moore:

Shows how much you know. I'm 32, married, and i climb more now than I did 10 years ago. You need to find the right woman or maybe you just don't have the drive....
 alan moore 07 May 2014
In reply to Eagleone:
Sigh.
 Diggler 07 May 2014
In reply to higherclimbingwales:

99.9% of routes are easier for the tall.
 mockerkin 07 May 2014
In reply to Diggler:

> 99.9% of routes are easier for the tall.
>> That is untrue.

 trinity 07 May 2014
In reply to higherclimbingwales:

should be fun?
 LastBoyScout 07 May 2014
In reply to higherclimbingwales:

It's not the fall that hurts - it's the abrupt stop at the end...

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