UKC

I seem to have got involved with (yet another) girl who has eating disorders…anorexia basically and am doing my best to try and help with this.

Just wondering if anyone on here who either suffers themselves or, more likely, has a partner or friend with ED that could recommend some reading material?
There seem to be a million and one books on ED out there and could do with a little help in sifting them.

Thanks

In reply to Kimono:

As someone who knows someone who suffered, and did not survive, I can thoroughly recommend this book written by someone who did:

http://www.sheffieldbooks.co.uk/home-page-products/cold-hands-warm-heart.ht...

In reply to Fredt:

Am very sorry to hear that.

Thank you for the recommendation

In reply to Kimono:

Biting the Hand that Starves You has been recommended by a couple of people I know with experience of this.

In reply to Kimono:

The only thing I can recommend for her is CBT. Haven't got/read any books on it, the beat charity might have some good info though.

Cat

In reply to Turdus torquatus:

Ok, that looks like a great book. Sadly not available on kindle and also pricey, but i shall pass it along

In reply to Kimono:

I've worked with a few clients with AN, not easy and long term psychotherapy is recommended. I'll ask the girls in our eating disorders unit for book recommendations when I get into work later today. But professional help is best, people tend to pick and choose what they agree with from books, rather than what may be best for them.

In reply to stroppygob:


That's a great point, not just on this particular subject!

In reply to Kimono:
Thanks SG
I'm very aware that what she really needs is therapy and am trying romping her in that direction.
Unfortunately she is not living in a place where she can get therapeutic help so am wondering whether there is such a thing as online therapy, via skype for example.
She is at least finally beginning to see that she does need help and that is a huge step.

In reply to Kimono:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b045z97q

In reply to Kimono:

http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Eating-disorders/Pages/community.aspx

In reply to Kimono:

Where is she? I am involved in a charity that is aimed at providing help and information, I could ask them to get in touch.

They were set up specifically because of their own experiences in trying, unsuccessfully, to get appropriate and timely help.

In reply to Kimono:

Ok, the girl that got back to me recommended this;

"Anorexia Nervosa and The Wish to Change", A.H. Crisp, N. Joughin, C. Halek & Bowyer.

But cautioned that books do not address individual issues and circumstance, and that professional help and advice would be best sought.

Good luck.

In reply to stroppygob:
Ok thanks for that SG.
The will to change reall seems to be the crux of it. Even therapy is not going to help unless the patient has really committed to doing the work.
As it stands, I'm not sure how commuted my friend is. There are good days and bad days when she seems beyond hope.
Anyway, thanks for the advice and we see how it goes.

In reply to Kimono:


I would strongly recommend that you don't 'see how it goes', and seek help as soon as you can.

In reply to Kimono:

a difficult situation, be carefull about becoming to involved in trying to find a solution, dificullt though that may be, I may be wrong but it sounds like a relativly new relationship and if you make yourself an integral part of solving the problem then that puts you in a dificult position if you feel the relationship isnt for you and could make the situation worse in the long run.
Please dont think I am suggesting dont help, people this vunerable need people around them to help and be there and take the shit that difficult patches bring and hats off to you if you can help and stick with it.

good luck

In reply to Fredt:

Hence my (ignored) recommendation for CBT. I do understand what the op is saying about difficulty in finding treatment where they are, but my feeling is that books written by those who have had anorexia may reinforce the feeling that the anorexic thoughts and behaviours are somehow normal/ok, even if they describe recovery too. There's no substitute for working through the problems that have caused the anorexia. Even if the book provides a catalyst for change its a problem you/she can really fix without proper support.

This site may have some help even if you're outside the UK. www.b-eat.co.uk

I wish you both luck, it's a horrible illness.

Cat

Edited to say this should really be to Kimono, and to apologise for being a bit blunt. Editing broke the link to b-eat.co.uk

In reply to jethro kiernan:


+1 wise words!
If your partner is anorexic don't expect things to change quickly as im sure you already appreciate its often complex and difficult to understand. Beware of solutions or people peddling them and approaches like CBT are occasionally helpful in reducing some aspects but on their own are very unlikely to 'cure' someone.
Best wishes

In reply to Kimono:
Sorry freerqngecat, not ignored just on limited internet connection and replying to the things that grabbed me most.
CBT is just not an option as she lives in a developing country.
That said, I have a fair amount of experience myself in examining and working wind the mind through other systems which I am trying to get her into.

And thanks for the advice about not getting too involved. I know.
My position however is that even if the relationship itself doesn't work out then I would feel that I would want to continue trying to help her.

And thanks to everyone else who has replied. I have read and digested everything even if I haven't so far replied

In reply to Kimono:

That's OK, sorry, had a hard day, it's not compulsory to respond to everyone. While not pushing you - as others have said it is a hard thing to do - someone who can be supportive, non-judgemental, gently encouraging, and understanding (as far as is possible, I don't claim to fully understand anorexia and I have pretty good knowledge of it) does make a difference. In my experience it is a very secretive disease and if she feels comfortable enough to share her fears and feelings with you that is good.

Cat

In reply to Kimono:

On a tangent, I have been learning mindful meditation to help my recovery from something different, but I wonder if it might be of help to her too. It is meant to be good for depression and anxiety, and I can't see how you could be anorexic without one or both of these. Generally good for calming the mind and feeling more in control/less scared. Worth suggesting. The mindfulness for dummies book and CD were recommended to me (not the workbook).

In reply to Kimono:

Dear Kimono
Strongly recommend looking at the beat website, online support groups for suffers and carers. Do not underestimate this disease in either it's risk to life or timescale for recovery. I wish you and your friend the best and hope she can get the medical help she needs as soon as possible.
Good luck
Chris

In reply to freerangecat:

Mindfulness and meditation are the things I was referring to when I said I had experience in understanding and working with the mind.
As you say, crucial stuff.

In reply to Kimono:

Cbt can be self help from a book or website it doesn't have to be seeing someone.

Moodgym is a website cant remember any books right now.

In reply to marsbar:

Moodjuice http://www.moodjuice.scot.nhs.uk/About.asp is good to.

In reply to freerangecat:

Thanks thats great.

In reply to Kimono:

Late response from one of the eatings disorders crew;



The best book for Family

Skills Based Learning for Caring For a Loved One with an Eating Disorder (FF20) Author: Janet
Treasure et al
Equips carers with the skills and knowledge needed to support and encourage those suffering from an
eating disorder, and to help them to break free from the traps that prevent recovery.
This book is highly recommended reading prior to attending the EDV Building Hope Workshops.
Talking to Eating Disorders (FF43) Author: Jeanne Albronda Heaton, Claudia J. Strauss



For Someone with an Eating Disorder

8 Keys to Recovery from an Eating Disorder (RED25) Authors: Carolyn Costin & Gwen Schubert Grabb
A unique and personal look into treatment of eating disorders, written by a therapist and her former patient, now a therapist herself.
This is no ordinary book on how to overcome an eating disorder. The authors bravely share their unique stories of suffering from and eventually overcoming their own severe eating disorders. Interweaving personal narrative with the perspective of their own therapist-client relationship, their insights bring an unparalleled depth of awareness into just what it takes to successfully beat this challenging and seemingly intractable clinical


Goodbye ED, Hello Me (RED22) Author: Jenni Schaefer
The latest book by the author of Life without ED. Outlines how she broke free from her eating disorder and found joy and peace as well.


The Anorexia Workbook (RED2) Authors: Michelle Heffner & Georg H. Eifert
Structured in a logical, step-by-step progression of exercises, the workbook first focuses on providing readers with a new understanding of anorexia and the ways they might have already tried to control the problem. Then the book progresses through techniques that teach how to use mindfulness to deal with out-of-control thoughts and feelings, how to identify choice that will lead to better heath and quality of life, and how to redirect the energy formerly spent on weight loss into those actions that will heal the body and mind. Although this book is written specifically to anorexia sufferers, it includes a clear and informative chapter on when readers need to seek professional treatment as well as advice on what to look for in a therapist.



Just some suggestions

Jenny

In reply to Kimono:

Just wondering whether a DVD might be more helpful initially. I don't know if there is anything out there but something you could potentially sit and watch together might at the very least stimulate a conversation about it between you.