UKC

Just got in an picked up the post, including a letter from the court, I am no longer a married man.

It wasn't a surprise, I was obviously aware of the process going on, the relationship is long over, it has all been very imicable with no financial dispute. I am also very happy in well established new relationship.

I did not feel sadness, relief or elation receiving the decree absolute. Getting divorced seems like a major life event, yet my emotional response to it would seem about the same as if it was a bank statement in the post.

If you have been in the same situation, how did you feel?

In reply to The New NickB:

There isn't a correct way to feel after any event.

In reply to Dave Perry:


I know. Just pondering!

In reply to The New NickB:

I think Mr TC was pretty similar - his situation was a bit more complicated, not least by the fact that there were children involved, but it came through just before we moved in together and I seem to recall him saying that it felt like 'right, that's that bit sorted, on with the next step'. I think different people process things very differently though - for instance, he copes with change much better than I do, as I tend to overthink everything.

In reply to Tall Clare:
Have you ever thought about why? ()

So do I.

The New Nick B:
It might be that you need to wait a little bit to work out how you feel/if you feel much about it?

In reply to The New NickB: pretty similar in all honesty. My separation was pretty amicablle and pretty much a rlelief and we weren't too quick with the paperwork so the piece of paper was a bit so what

In reply to The New NickB:

Maybe the sadness was long ago, when you 'fell out of love'. The divorce is perhaps just the technicalities of ending it legally. So maybe that bit bit didn't cause you an issue to feel anything about.

Maybe as Timmd says, you need to wait until your brain works on it a bit. ?

In reply to Dave Perry:


That is of course the correct answer.

In reply to The New NickB:

I think the way you feel about a 'life event' is dependent on when the event happens and if it really is an 'event'

In the case of a divorce I'd regard it as just following the legal process (i've been through one so can comment). For me the 'event' was the break up - i remember that profoundly, down to the weather, the time, the company, the words. I'll never forget that. The subsequent finalising of the breakup in an arbitrary legal sense, i.e. completion of divorce proceedings, I've completely forgotten. Not even sure where i put the paperwork...

In reply to The New NickB:

TBH similar.. the actual paper work was just a technicality at the end.. the rough part was much earlier on, the morning I moved out I remember much clearer than any of the latter legal bits.

Just saw KingStapo's post.. exactly that.

In reply to The New NickB:
As has been said, the split and events leading up to it up is the life changing trauma, but the decree absolute brings a mixture of feelings. Finality, sense of failure, relief, sadness and a sense of freedom.

Technical question. If you have the decree nisi but are waiting for the decree absolute and are filling in a legal form (different matter to the divorce) which asks you to tick the box relating to your marital status, which is correct?

Single, widowed, separated, divorced?

Obviously the first two are out.

In reply to The New NickB:

imicable?

In reply to Trangia:

My interpretation is separated. You are not divorced until the court says you are. I got various bits of information with the decree absolute explain the affect my legal change in marital status would have on wills and the like.