UKC

There seem to be fewer and fewer decent programmes despite the proliferation of channels but for sheer annoyance my vote goes to Eggheads. Obnoxious smug panellists who I want to hit. I am not usually driven to such thoughts of violence but I dare not watch it again.
Anyone else got programmes which would be torture if forced to watch?

In reply to earlsdonwhu:

ANYTHING to do with football; "talent" programmes; any featuring a "celebrity"

In reply to earlsdonwhu:

The Gadget Show

And that bald hipster with the glasses who presents it.

In reply to andymac:

Good suggestion ....... I wouldn't watch but equally he doesn't make me feel violent.

In reply to andymac:

At least they've replaced the abbreviation 'gadge' with 'tech'.

Maybe someone finally told them about the alternative slang meaning...

In reply to earlsdonwhu:

Would Jeremy Kayle fit the bill?

That show really winds me up. And closely followed by that dining programming on C4 where four randoms cook for each other before choosing a winner

In reply to captain paranoia:

Stopped watching around the time Rachel Riley left.

In reply to The Lemming:

And closely followed by that dining programming on C4 where four randoms cook for each other before choosing a winner

What?
Even the one that featured she who must not be mentioned?

In reply to earlsdonwhu:
Strictly come Dancing. Makes me want to vomit every time I accidentally see a trailer. That competitive cake making thing is also very, very nauseating. The X factor, on the other hand, has the redeeming feature that I can guiltily glance at it while doing something else - like a horrific car crash. And watching talentless morons making arses of themselves does make me feel marginally less inadequate as a human being myself.

In reply to earlsdonwhu:

Their smugness is the point of the show.

It seems a pretty unobnoxious, keeping itself to itself kind of program.

The most annoying programme is undoubtedly Only Connect but I love it so, and Victoria Coren. Especially Victoria Coren actually.

In reply to earlsdonwhu:

Deal or no deal makes me want to throw things at the telly.
I have to hide all the bricks when the mother in law visits. She loves it.

In reply to Ffion Blethyn:

bizarre programme, they actually seem to believe they can decide the content of their boxes by positive thinking. strange.

In reply to earlsdonwhu:

Any news bulletin with Orla 'Angel of Death' Guerin on it. She could make winning the lottery sound like the end of the world

In reply to earlsdonwhu:

River Monsters, and the smug lad who presents it. Not a patch on Robson Green.

In reply to earlsdonwhu:

Any "design" show where some tool witters on about "how this space really works" and "the artex highlighting draws the eye to the stunning vista framed between the renovated gas holder and the sh1t farm"

In reply to mypyrex:


Plus 1

In reply to 999thAndy:

Are you referring to that Geordie lad who keeps slipping into Southern English e.g.; the 'MarStar bedroom, as opposed to 'Master'?

In reply to Trevers:



Get in the queue mate!

In reply to Wiley Coyote:

Oh, I think she's sexy.

There is something about a woman who can talk with shells bursting around her without flinching....

and, I love her accent.

In reply to earlsdonwhu:

Escape to the Country, and the smug tossers who go on it flaunting the fact that they are "considerably richer than yow".

When did a room become a "space"?

In reply to earlsdonwhu:

Through the week I'm tending to watch BBC iPlayer rather than TV as such - so it's a much more TV on demand than taking everything that is pumped out by the broadcasters. At the weekend the reality program that has become a surprise hit in our house is googlebox, the girls like the gay hairdressers, I like the orange girl from Durham and the vicar with the dogs knob - everyone finds the boozy posh couple suitably bonkers.

In reply to Malcolm Tucker's Sweary Aunt:

Ye gods and little fishes - YES! I hate Escape to the Country with a passion, I once heard it described as "rich urban tossers bitching about other people's homes". I also hate Strictly, X-Factor and Britain's Got Tossers but they are easy targets as they are not really aimed at intelligent human beings, they are just CBeebies for older kids.

The one show that I reserve most of my bile for is I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Some Carefully Staged Peril to Revive my Flagging Career. Not only do they terrify and kill living creatures for fun, they also take the piss out of indigenous cultures with the Bush Tucker Banquet. There is an air of "gosh look what these frightful savages choose to eat instead of Foie Gras!". And it is presented by Ant and Dec, which speaks volumes really.

In reply to Ste Brom:

Him (although the accent is genuine, geordies do say marstah and plarstah) and Kevin McCloud.

In reply to Clarence:

there's quite a well thought out plea from Chris Packham to stop doing bush tucker trials in next week's radio times. Channel 4 have basically told him to f*ck off (without involving ant and dec of course).

back on topic, I can't stand those Real Housewives of somewhere in America that keep cropping up. Overpriviledged nasally bitches who spend the whole programme slagging each other off - and they're supposed to be friends!

In reply to earlsdonwhu:

Anything with Nick Nowles (or however you spell his name) in it.

The talent(less) shows are dire, true lowest common denominator stuff.

In reply to earlsdonwhu:

Used to be Question of Sport. We even wrote to the beeb, explaining that if we'd paid for a TV licence we would feel totally ripped off and annoyed that our well earned student grant was being wasted on such drivel, and that luckily we'd chosen to spend it on booze and stuff instead.

In reply to Bob:
I love DIY SOS, think it's a great feel good program and I think he interviews the families very well...not patronising in any way and does it with thought and understanding.

Each to their own

Personally I only watch what I want to watch , I never watch anything "annoying" for very long, if at all. life is too short and books, running, dog walking web browsing cooking etc take up the slack

Amazed nobody has mentioned TOWIE or Made in Chelsea

In reply to earlsdonwhu:

Grand designs.
Rich couple build a large white box with one side being made of glass, presenter fawns over them and loves the space ignoring the fact that it looks like an office foyer.

Excape to the counrty
Baby boomers who have more money then taste look at expensive houses. No-one ever buys a house.

The one show
Blue peter for retarded adults

Autum/spring/watch
Presenters way to enthusiastic. There's a limit to how excited i can get about a small brown animal eating it's own poo.

Eastenders
Just depressing

In reply to Trangia:


Great minds...

In reply to graeme jackson:

Cheers Graeme, I will look out for that.

In reply to doz generale:

But justified in having Alex Jones who has the finest pair of legs in showbusiness (and loves to show them off).

In reply to Bjartur i Sumarhus:


I had to Google them, if I had seen them before they would undoubtedly have made my list.

In reply to earlsdonwhu:

Slightly off topic but one of the ads that irritates me is the one for NFU home insurance. It opens with a shot of a water pipe freezing and then bursting. The voice over is so bloody annoying: "... WE - WILL - NOT - QUIBBLE..." Who is it doing the voice over anyway?

In reply to earlsdonwhu:

EastEnders... Unremitting misery. They ought to show it to would-be immigrants. Cameron wouldn't have to push the EU to reform the freedom of movement thing: nobody in their right mind would want to settle here.

In reply to Trevers:


There is something disturbingly sexy about her, isn't there.

In reply to graeme jackson:


+1

In reply to earlsdonwhu:

I'm with you on Eggheads. Not only are they unbearably smug, but Jeremy Vine is even smugger and to top it all off they drag a few general knowledge questions out interminably over a half hour programme so that even if you were a quiz fan who could overlook the first two problems you would be bored to tears waiting for a question.

And another +1 for Deal Or No Deal. I caught a minute of it once and I could feel my brain disintegrating.

In reply to Ste Brom:


Speaking as a Northumbrian (Northumbrian = Geordie + Honesty + Integrity + velcro trousers) who has lived in the south (Peak) for 20 years, I find these fake northern accents...that's proper northern, not southern Yorkshire or Lancastrian ones....pretty irritating. I'm never sure whether Cheryl Whateveritisthisweek is putting it on or not. Maybe she's just from some godforsaken estate on Tyneside where they all talk different, but her accent is weird.

That said, I now pronounce words like master with a soft rather than a hard a, (which sounded dead posh when i was at school), and Me Mam is now My Mum. I think this was in response to spending 3 years at Notts Uni being referred to as Geordie "self abuser".

BAAAAA!!!!

In reply to graeme jackson:


That would seem rather out of order from Channel 4, it's an ITV programme.

In reply to doz generale:

with you on grand designs , much more interested in Amazing Spaces and programs about people who dont have silly money to throw at carved jade sinks (integral to the design dahling), likewise escape to the country (folk with more money than sense mindlessly bleating "it doesnt have the wow factor" because the perfect country cottage next to a pixie fountain theyve been shown is painted the wrong shade of blue and doesnt have an organic delicatessen down the road

In reply to Alyson:


I actually quite like this show. I mean I wouldn't be bothered to reach for the remote if it was on the other side, but I can enjoy it if it happens to be on. It's really interesting to see idiots thinking that they are playing with some sort of strategy and Noel Edmonds does a great job of spinning a narrative out of what is just basic probability theory. What would be really interesting would be if they gave them a chance to swap boxes on the last two, and see punters fail to grasp The Monty Hall Problem.

In reply to The New NickB:

easy mistake to make. both channels bombard us with pure, unadulterated shite.

In reply to graeme jackson:

Have I missed the reference to the Apprentice, a show based on the rudest, most ignorant and self important presenter on TV, doing nothing but bullying a bunch of dimwit wannabes who really shouldn't be trusted to walk across a street?

In reply to Robert Durran:


Ha! I like Strictly because the dancing is wonderful, I like Bake Off because it celebrates the talented amateur, but I hate X Factor because the purpose of it isn't to find a star but to make money for the programme makers and it trades on the broken dreams of deluded people.


Channel 4 does a good line in programmes which make me feel reassuringly normal. Anything on a theme of Supersize vs Superskinny, The Hoarder Next Door, Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners - people who take things to extremes. All of these make me feel great about my averagely tidy house and my averagely upholstered frame.

In reply to Le Chevalier Mal Fet:

I find Deal or No Deal incredibly dull! random guessing interspersed with the fictitious Banker ringing up to offer deals while Noel Edmonds pretends he's a real personality

In reply to Le Chevalier Mal Fet:

It must be a media thing, because when I hear a pseudo-scouse accent, I want to put my boot through the telly.

In reply to earlsdonwhu:

Life is Toff seems to have escaped mention so far - though it's not so much annoying as jaw-droppingly astonishing

In reply to earlsdonwhu:

Flicking through Freeview of an evening it seems there there are more than a few channels dedicated to showing nothing but programmes peopled entirely by Americans whose sole mission is to adhere firmly to every single one of stereotypical characteristics that make people think that all Americans are deeply irritating.

Storage Hunters anyone?

In reply to Trevers:




She manages to convey an impression of being 'filthy'!

In reply to Rob Exile Ward:


+1

In reply to earlsdonwhu:

Whilst I'm not one of those who slates the contestants in X Factor/Britain's got Talent as entirely talentless (I happen to think there have been some very talented contestants over the years), I do hate the format of these "performance" shows as they are not about the performance but about how juicy a contestant's hard luck story can be. And I get soooo sick of hearing about kids who will give 110 million per cent or who ONLY LIVE FOR SINGING.

Made in Chelsea is HILARIOUS and I love watching.

In reply to earlsdonwhu:

Although Eggheads remains my number 1 hate, many other very worthy contenders have been put forward. Surprised no mention has been made of my second hate which is Snog Marry Avoid or whatever it is actually called.

I don't know if this sort of show has a target audience of other overly made up chav-type dozy bints or whether they are targeted at people like me to simply slag off and be grateful that we don't mix with such people or have daughters like them.

In reply to earlsdonwhu:

This must be some sort of record - nobody has mentioned Top Gear.

Can I also nominate Diners, drive-ins & dives. What a twunt.

In reply to earlsdonwhu:

Given all the shite we have listed, I wonder whether the license fee is good value.... but then if you have ever watched French etc TV the alternative could (amazingly) be worse still.

In reply to earlsdonwhu:

How many are on the BBC (and therefore paid for by the license fee)? Many/most of the pet hates seem to be on commercial TV.

In reply to earlsdonwhu:

Jeremy Kyle & other 'reality' shows like towie.

In reply to Chris Harris:

probably because it's actually very entertaining


No you can't. he's not a twunt and he drives a very nice '68 camaro.

In reply to earlsdonwhu:

Strictly come bl**dy dancing - utter froth.

In reply to earlsdonwhu:
generally the xfacter BGT etc are sh1t but occasionally throw up an utter gem.

have a bit more tolernace for strictly because i know how bloody hard learning to dance is for most people (me included) i usually watch it prerecorded and just watch the dance /critic and fast forward the drivel. the pro dancers are nothing short of f__king amazing.

if there was a show about c-list wannabes learning to climb or mtb, i reckon more people on here would find it a bit more bearable?

when my lady comes round to mine and tries to watch east enders i threaten to feed her diner to the bin, she's learning fast!

In reply to earlsdonwhu:
Why the surprise that 99% of TV is complete horse manure?

And nobody's mentioned the 10 or so, so-called comedians who are all posh boys mostly pretending not to be, and who spend all their time guesting on each other's shows?

When they do the reality show about slebs climbing El Cap - bags I cut the rope holding Louis Walsh on....

In reply to Chris Harris:

Top Gear could easily be improved by sacking Clarkson and Hammond, replacing them with a motoring journalist who really knows what he's on about, like -ahem- Chris Harris.....

In reply to graeme jackson:


I'm obsessed with them. Beverly Hills, New York, currently getting into Miami. They are all loathsome but the dynamics are interesting. Maybe that or I just enjoy watching shit telly

In reply to earlsdonwhu:

Anything with / about

1 - Kevin McCloud
2 - Ant and Dec
3 - Cheryl Cole
4 - football
5 - Kirsty and Phil. But especially Kirsty. Knit your own coffin, go on, f*ck off

In reply to earlsdonwhu:
Can't believe that nobody has mentioned the 'soaps' that are on almost every night. Absolute garbage! Just occasionally there is something decent and tonight I stumbled on a documentary about the story of the original 'warhorse' Warrior. A really facinating true story about the horse and his rider, General Seeley. Not anything like that Speilberg gush!

In reply to Ste Brom:


I'm originally from the North East myself and people from that area have always pronounced it as "mar-ster". It's more in places such as Yorkshire and Lancashire where they pronounce it as "mass-ter".

In reply to Tom Valentine:


I never expressed any opinion about Top Gear, I merely pointed out that I was surprised that no one had mentioned it, as it tends to attract a fair degree of criticism on UKC.

In reply to earlsdonwhu:

Anything with that Miranda Hart !!!

In reply to earlsdonwhu:

Skimmed the thread so don't know if this has been smugly said already.
If the programmes are annoying, don't watch them.
I don't watch telly.

In reply to earlsdonwhu:

Any programme that takes a pleasant and interesting pastime and turns it into a competition.
What is the point of competitive cooking, singing, decorating, survival, sucking Alan Sugar's cock, flower arranging, climbing, dating, dressing up, renovating, house buying, etc.

All the programme makers seem to do is think of a verb and add the word challenge to it and they have a programme.

In reply to earlsdonwhu:

Until last weekend BBC coverage of Scottish Rugby matches. The drawn-out build up to kick off followed by a dire performance voiced over by Mr. Dramatic Andrew Cotter, and then rounded off at the end by Andy Nicol desperately scraping the bottom of the pond for a positive from the match and 'Looking to the future'

In reply to Clarence:

+1
If you go to Chris packhams facebook there's a link to a petition against the use of animals on I'm a washed up has been