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Wrangled a first date

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 zimpara 05 Mar 2015

Wonder if I might pick the brains of some sensitive folk.

A fellow human being has humorously accepted invite to a picnic avec moi.
2pm-Saturday.
On offer is apple/cinnamon twirls
Blueberry and chic chip muffins+maybe bran (she's an intellectual so would probably go for them?)
Olive-salami pizza slices
Crab+pasta salad

Making everything from scratch in the morning, going climbing and then dating it up.
Weathers looking excellent, question is: what accessories do I need? Ie throws/blanket/ little pillows/

Things to not make it feel like we"re sitting on the grass eating sandwiches.
Great fully accept any hints!

I'm climbing
Post edited at 22:12
 BigBrother 05 Mar 2015
In reply to zimpara:

doilies
In reply to zimpara:

Have you checked to see if there are any allergy issues seafood might be something to shear clear of.

A nice rug to sit on, plastic rather than paper plates.
 dread-i 05 Mar 2015
In reply to zimpara:
If she's an intellectual, then she's probably a veggie. Lose one of the meat things.
And crab, isn't that kinda fishy (I'm not an expert in these things)? Would someone want to snog you if you had fishy breath?

Small bottles of wine and or cans of gin and tonic. Real glasses and real ice and slice of lime for gin.
Post edited at 23:36
 Trevers 06 Mar 2015
In reply to zimpara:

Arrive by helicopter
 Kimono 06 Mar 2015
In reply to Hannah S:

> Have you checked to see if there are any allergy issues seafood might be something to shear clear of.

<groan> is this what its come to?

 Motown 06 Mar 2015
In reply to zimpara:

Picnics should have booze and crisps,. Posh crisps would probably fit your menu, but crisps nonetheless.

Ice and lime like dread-i said. Real glasses. Big bottles.
 climbwhenready 06 Mar 2015
In reply to zimpara:
> Blueberry and chic chip muffins+maybe bran (she's an intellectual so would probably go for them?)
-----
> If she's an intellectual, then she's probably a veggie. Lose one of the meat things.

Groan, seriously???

Why not ask if there's anything she can't eat? You're organising a picnic, it's a reasonable question.....
Post edited at 07:18
 Yanis Nayu 06 Mar 2015
In reply to zimpara:

Kneepads and rubber johnnies. Some bog roll if you're a gentleman.
 BusyLizzie 06 Mar 2015
In reply to zimpara:

Surely it is too cold for picnicking?!?
 Billhook 06 Mar 2015
In reply to zimpara:

What a novel idea - picnic in winter. So romantic! Don't forget the thermals, extra blankets, and waterproofs!
 Fredt 06 Mar 2015
In reply to zimpara:

Pork pie.
 Alyson 06 Mar 2015
In reply to zimpara:

Don't you pay any attention to these fair weather Freddies. Spring is a lovely time for a romantic picnic, what with flowers thrusting forth and animals procreating left, right and centre.

Take blankets if the temperature concerns you. Or even better - a flask of hot chocolate with brandy.
 gribble 06 Mar 2015
In reply to zimpara:

a discrete gentleman's gentleman.
 Mick Ward 06 Mar 2015
In reply to Yanis Nayu:

> Kneepads and rubber johnnies. Some bog roll if you're a gentleman.

In the (free) spirit of Num Num! I'm sure he'd be the first to assure us that he's no gentleman so maybe no need for the bog roll.

Mick
In reply to Trevers:

> Arrive by helicopter

no, arrive on the back of a woodpecker
aultguish 06 Mar 2015
In reply to Trevers:

> Arrive by helicopter

Don't, she'll be fixated with the pilot...
 Rich D 06 Mar 2015
In reply to zimpara:

Hot mulled cider, it's going to be cold sitting down. Also I'd take a swingball set.
 Alyson 06 Mar 2015
In reply to aultguish:

> Don't, she'll be fixated with the pilot...


Spoken like a true helicopter pilot!





(You are, of course, absolutely right)
 Alyson 06 Mar 2015
In reply to Rich D:

That's a great shout, though not everyone will be up for playing swingball on a first date. Some like to take things a little more slowly.
 krikoman 06 Mar 2015
In reply to zimpara:

Make sure you give her plenty of meat.
 EddInaBox 06 Mar 2015
In reply to krikoman:

What about stuffing?
1
 krikoman 06 Mar 2015
In reply to EddInaBox:

> What about stuffing?

Yes, nearly forgot about that, plenty of meat and some good hot stuffing.

You could bring some you hand made custard to end it off nicely.
mick taylor 06 Mar 2015
In reply to zimpara:

My tip would be food that you can make up (rather than just passing a bowl of salad or pizza slice) - so fancy bread, posh cheese, salami, salady stuff - whatever she wants - which you make into a posh sarnie for her there and then.

Sharing is good: a ceaser type salad in a posh bowl.

Like the pastry idea. An apple tart, latticed, which you cut her a slice of. With a glass of fizzy wine.

Cheap picnic rugged that is lined (stops seapage.............)
 nutme 06 Mar 2015
Buzz always helps. For weather like that hot red wine in a flask is definitely going to be a winner.

Pizza may sound good, but it will get cold very fast and won't taste that great.

If she's not in to outdoors you could cook something for her on the site using backpacking gear. Girls who don't spend time on mountains themselves are easy to impress with 'survival' skills!
 ByEek 06 Mar 2015
In reply to zimpara:

If this is a first date, you risk trying too hard. I mean - what if she falls head over heels for you but you don't actually like her? And you went to all that effort. Conversely it may come across to her like you are aiming to put a ring on her finger by the time she has finished her first crab sandwich.

Save the romantic picnics for the summer. Go for an invigorating spring stroll before taking her to a cosy coffee / tea shop and get to know her over a hot buttered scone! We had a picnic with the kids last Sunday and it was decidedly "hop whilst you eat" weather, rather than a relaxed summer affair.

Have fun!
 Alyson 06 Mar 2015
In reply to ByEek:

But she's accepted an invitation for a picnic! If she turns up and there's no food, no blankets, no sparkling wine and no hopeful pack of johnnies it's going to look very much as if zimpara couldn't be arsed.
 Flinticus 06 Mar 2015
In reply to zimpara:

Book of romantic French poetry, which you extract last from your quaint satchel, after first unloading philosophy books and a well chosen novel by a quality female writer, something by Doris Lessing (not 50 Shades FFS)

Remember to practice your French accent well beforehand

and if you've been climbing that morning, shower!
 stuartpicken 06 Mar 2015
In reply to zimpara:
A slackline. If you're spending time outside, you probably need a slackline.


Edit: Oh my, i almost forgot to say! Combining slacklines with 3/4 length running tights is pretty much a sure thing. Maximum calf effect. Can't go wrong really.
Post edited at 11:36
 krikoman 06 Mar 2015
In reply to Alyson:

> But she's accepted an invitation for a picnic! If she turns up and there's no food, no blankets, no sparkling wine and no hopeful pack of johnnies it's going to look very much as if zimpara couldn't be arsed.

He could just hand over all his meat, they like that women do.
OP zimpara 06 Mar 2015
In reply to zimpara:
Wow! You lot of romantic middle classers! thanks

Weather is forecast at 17degrees and blazing-ive asked her to bring a hat and some sun cream incase she burns like a newborn piglet.

I've dropped the pizza idea for baguette grilled prawn build your own sandwich like mick suggested. And also a flask of hot chocolate+ brandy just incase!
And a swing ball set! Why didn't I think of that? Excellent idea.
I've also added melon, cheese selection and salami, not sure how to precut it as don't want to scare her pulling a perrang out of the basket.

I once took a girl to Italy for 3 days as a first date- and I drove... Effort girls like.
Post edited at 12:23
Clauso 06 Mar 2015
In reply to zimpara:

Ask her whether she knows the difference between a vol-au-vent and a blow job. If she doesn't, she's a keeper.
1
In reply to Kimono:

Sorry its just how my brain works I deal with catering for groups of kids and there's always something someone cant have and I've got people with intolerances and illnesses that affect their diet.

It doesn't hurt to check dont want your date projectile vomiting on you
 Baron Weasel 06 Mar 2015
In reply to zimpara:

What about a really long single strand of spaghetti?
 Yanis Nayu 06 Mar 2015
In reply to Hannah S:

> Sorry its just how my brain works I deal with catering for groups of kids and there's always something someone cant have and I've got people with intolerances and illnesses that affect their diet.

> It doesn't hurt to check dont want your date projectile vomiting on you

Num Num pays good money for that...
 ByEek 06 Mar 2015
In reply to zimpara:

> I once took a girl to Italy for 3 days as a first date- and I drove... Effort girls like.

Girls like effort - but don't forget that the Great British sense of feeling obliged whilst smiling politely still burns strongly in many!
 Jimbo C 06 Mar 2015
In reply to zimpara:

Plan for a nice simple picnic - good bread, cheeses, olives, etc. Be prepared for all eventualities, ranging from pack of rubbers to a backup plan if it's a bit brass monkey (somewhere with a good café a short walk away)
 spartacus 06 Mar 2015
In reply to zimpara:
She might enjoy some Gentleman's Relish. Nice on toast.

 krikoman 06 Mar 2015
In reply to Jimbo C:

> ..., ranging from pack of rubbers to a backup plan ....

Hand shandy anyone?
 stuartpicken 06 Mar 2015
In reply to zimpara:

I find it strange that, given the sort of treatment we've been led to expect, no one has asked if they can be next on the dating list?
i wouldn't mind a trip to italy... maybe font on the way.
 RockAngel 06 Mar 2015
In reply to zimpara:
A glass lantern with a candle for if the light lowers
 hang_about 06 Mar 2015
In reply to RockAngel:

Take a llama
bricknall 06 Mar 2015
In reply to Yanis Nayu:
Haha. Forward thinking
 Seocan 06 Mar 2015
In reply to zimpara:

just out of interest what is the protocol, do you let her lead so you can imagine the wee skimpies she's put on especially for you, or do you lead to show those taught buttocks and your studly climbing prowess. Personally, I'd be all for her leading and my imagination about post-picnic activities getting to work.
 Wsdconst 06 Mar 2015
In reply to Yanis Nayu:

Nice one
 Wsdconst 06 Mar 2015
In reply to zimpara:

Take a copy of razzle so you can have a tactical hand shandy that way you'll perform much better, failing that take her to McDonald's and do her in the disabled toilets
 Mick Ward 06 Mar 2015
In reply to Wsdconst:

Good to know that there are still some romantics!

Mick
 Tricadam 07 Mar 2015
In reply to zimpara:

Don't produce the tapioca too early in proceedings.
OP zimpara 07 Mar 2015
In reply to zimpara:

Predictions for tomorrow on a post card?
abseil 07 Mar 2015
In reply to zimpara:

> Predictions for tomorrow on a post card?

Sunshine. Beautiful day. Perfect weather.
 deepsoup 07 Mar 2015
In reply to zimpara:

When you say "wrangled a first date" - do you mean wangled? (Or was there wrestling involved?)
 stuartpicken 07 Mar 2015
In reply to deepsoup:

I imagine something like this (which probably says more about my dating experience than anything else. Excuse the music)
youtube.com/watch?v=2i-6VNgPOE4&
 deepsoup 07 Mar 2015
In reply to stuartpicken:
I had something a bit more bovine in mind. (And horny.)
http://images.macalba.net/2012/02/20111119-armidale--rodeo--steer-wrangling...
 Bulls Crack 07 Mar 2015
In reply to zimpara:

A marquee? Could be cold picnicking
 Tricadam 07 Mar 2015
In reply to zimpara:

Update please.
 stuartpicken 07 Mar 2015
In reply to zimpara:

no news is good news.
OP zimpara 07 Mar 2015
In reply to stuartpicken:
By all accounts beautiful weather. Beautiful girl.
Took a melon, aside from all the "nice melon" comments from every single gaggle of women i passed and the odd admiring smile it took the show when I chopped it in half with a plate. (Forgot knives) +think Tom Hanks in castaway with the coconut!

Homemade muffins a total winner-edible or not. (Point to note)
Post edited at 19:33
 Dave the Rave 07 Mar 2015
In reply to zimpara:
Cut to the point. Did you shag her outdoors?
 deepsoup 08 Mar 2015
In reply to zimpara:

> By all accounts...

You weren't there then? Did she go on your date without you?
 JJL 08 Mar 2015
In reply to zimpara:

Yaaaaay!

When is date 2?
 krikoman 08 Mar 2015
In reply to deepsoup:

> You weren't there then? Did she go on your date without you?

She went with me instead, something to do with meat
craigloon 08 Mar 2015
In reply to zimpara:
Did you know that your nickname translates as 'sandpaper' in Turkish? Now if it were 'zampara' that would mean 'lothario', which in the context of this post might be more apt.
 deepsoup 08 Mar 2015
In reply to craigloon:
> ... which in the context of this post might be more apt.

Nah. He strikes me as a bit of rough. ;O)
aultguish 09 Mar 2015
In reply to deepsoup:

A 'bit of rough' would've just taken the girl for a pizza and a sh4g, then stole her knickers.

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