UKC

Group Leaders ....what's your most bizarre experience as a leader?

One of my favourites: In the car park at the start of a DofE Expedition a parent presented me with a cool box asking if I could make sure it got to the overnight camp safely!

In reply to exiled_northerner:

A client came up to me as we were halfway up the Ben:

" I forgot to put something on my medical form - I am allergic to Langoustines - is that going to be a problem?"

She seemed genuinely concerned, the rest of the group thought it was hilarious.

In reply to richprideaux:

I wonder if that's the basis of an in-joke on OM some years ago; the reported cry of 'langoustines!' at meets (and in threads, for that matter), for some reason I never fathomed...

In reply to captain paranoia:

Possibly, it coincided with my stint on OM before migrating fully to UKC...

In reply to richprideaux:


We have a winner. That is genuinely funny, wish I'd been there.

In reply to richprideaux:

You chaps clearly need some lessons in mountain cuisine

In reply to JJL:

Met a group at a campsite, they arrived a bit late and it was already dark. Tents up, arranged to meet in the morning. Woke up, looked across the field to see one of the kids pulling one of those wheeled bags across the bumpy muddy field - his choice of 'rucsac'. North London private school <facepalm>

In reply to JJL:


Precisely. Octopus have been known to migrate to the summit of Scafell Pike, before now, so why not langoustines on Ben Nevis?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cumbria-23144255

In reply to Clauso:

I've made squid provencale atop Cairngorm, so why not?

In reply to JayPee630:

BUT

pulling out ludicrously over specified dinner is fun, especially in bothies where everyone else is on pot noodle.

In reply to JJL:


Too right, some friends and I had a full Xmas dinner with trimmings in the wilds of Scotland. Everyone around us was having beans on toast at best and were looking at us hopefully.

Did we share it with them?

I'm ashamed to say.....

No.

In reply to abseil:

I remember just staring at her and blinking for a few seconds before replying with the classic:

"Okaaaaaaayyyyyy.... Errrmmmmm..."

In reply to richprideaux:



Probably better than I would've managed... but you missed a chance to say "That's perfectly all right Madam, perhaps you'd care to try the Dover Sole or the Wagyu beef instead?"!

In reply to abseil:

We had a guy complete with two left boots once. He'd bought a new pair (identical to his old quite worn out ones) for the expedition which he'd carefully broken in so no problems there, but as he was leaving he picked up the left one from both his old and new pair. He didn't tell anyone until after the assessor signed him off.

In reply to kestrelspl:


Two left boots?! I thought I was bad but that takes some beating. Good for him for completing the assessment though.

In reply to exiled_northerner:

Once took a group of novices climbing on a work induction type thingy.

At Stanage, one girl refused to:
1.change out of her high heels and skirt (she screamed that I was being sexist and heightist)
2. let go of her handbag.
3. let anyone help with her harness. It took a long time to visually check each of her attempts.

So, suitably harnessed and tied on, complete with high heels and handbag, she stood at the bottom of the climb, and refused to let go of the rope, assuming she would be hoisted up, and insisting that no way would she let her hands or fingernails touch the rough dirty rock.

In reply to exiled_northerner:

1. Camping in a field. Stream for water, spade for a latrine. Girls presents hairdryer and asks 'where can I plug this in'.

2. Gorge walking and having scrambled up a relatively easy section, a girl slips for no reason, rattles down the gorge and plunges into a plunge pool. I shit myself, jump in and moved her to one side. She seems OK, but my female colleague asks 'can we have the group shelter'. I ask 'why', to be informed she wants some privacy whilst she bandages up her 'stump'. Turns out she didn't have a foot on one of her legs, hadn't told anyone, and had padded out her 'stump' to somehow fix a boot to it. This all went pete tong.

3. Issuing boots to a group. Punter says 'can I have a size 44 boot'. Mate says 'actually, i think you will find they come in pairs'. Punter says 'actually, I think you will find I only have one leg'.

In reply to Clauso:

Me and a friend found a Sea Bass on the summit of The Ben a couple of summers ago.

In reply to mick taylor:

I think anyone who has helped with DofE has probably seen some funny things. I've seen hair straighteners, full bottles of shampoo and conditioners, 3 pounds of sausages, portable DVD player (that still required mains or 12V electricity) etc. Though I often feel that some of this is really the parents fault and not always completely the young people concerned.

For the electrical items one scout campsite used to have a socket plate screwed to a tree as everyone knows that trees produce electricity!

In reply to exiled_northerner:

I remember one young lad from inner city Derby who was amazed that you could cook your own food.

In reply to exiled_northerner:

I had a great conversation with a girl on a DofE exped from a very expensive private school (so I would like to thing she should have had a reasonable level of education!). She was walking along listening to music on her phone, and I pointed out to her that if she listened to it all day then she would flatten the battery and couldn't listen to music the rest of the trip. She told me that listening to music recharged the batteries and so by listening to it she was making sure she had plenty of battery for later!! This was said entirely seriously, and she couldn't understand why I and another adult with us were in fits of laughter at this!! lol

In reply to Fredt:


Give her a pair of axes so she doesn't have to touch the rock. Carefully move out of the way of the lynch mob who spot someone dry tooling at Stanage.

In reply to JJL:


We took a family friend up Snowdon a couple of years ago, because he'd never climbed a mountain. My sister challenged him - he has a fear of heights.

When we got to the top, we pulled out a table cloth, plates, napkins, wine glasses, an acceptable bottle of red, cheese biscuits, smoked salmon, etc Totally blew him away.

In hindsight, I should have claimed the snow I'd collected for snowballs was to chill the gin and tonic :-D

Back on topic:
- first Cub camp I ran, one of the lads turned up with an enormous Swiss Army knife his Dad had given him

- Ended up running a Freshers weekend for Reading Uni MC with another chap I'd only met the night before. I wasn't a member, I was helping out as I know a few of the members and they were short of a bus driver. Short version - I was driving the scruffier of the minibuses up to North Wales, all the club committee on the other brand new minibus. We set off first. Phone call from them later that evening - brand new van had broken down with electrics problems on M40 and they were being towed back to Reading.

In reply to Andy DB:



It's probably not the parents fault either if they're not used to camping expeditions. If a kid turns up to your DofE practice expedition with a DVD player that needs plugging in, what have the trainers covered in their prep?

In reply to Parrys_apprentice:

Thankfully that wasn't one of mine, I just had the "pleasure" of helping on their practice, the DVD player didn't actually make it out the scout hut before the expedition. I agree that the training should cover not bringing stupid things but you seem to get a lot of bronze expeditions where they have a huge wash kit that mum told them they needed. Maybe training should include parent education?

In reply to exiled_northerner:

Oh god, here goes...

Returning from an Outward Bound week with a group of kids in the minibus and I was driving.
Devante (aged 11): Tony, can you stop the bus? I need a wee.
Me: No mate, sorry I'm on the motorway and it's crawling, you'll have to wait.
D: But I'm busting.
Me: Sorry, but I can't stop even if we are only going slow.
2 minutes later...
Earl: Eeew Tony, Devante's pissing in a bottle!
Me: Ok, just leave it, screw the top on and put it down by your seat.
10 mins later...
D: Tony, I need to go poo.
Me: Absolutely not Devante, I can't stop, wait about 15 minutes until the services.
D: But Tony, I NEED to poo!
Me: NO! Stop being silly and wait.
...
...
...
...
Earl: EEEEWWW TONY, DEVANTE'S BUST A SHIT IN A BAG!!!!
Me: I hope not, Sue (another leader at the back of the minibus) can you sort him out.
Sue: It's true, he's crapped into a Tesco bag.
Me: Oh God, well tie a knot in it and hang it out of the window then close the window trapping the bag outside.

a couple of minutes later the traffic started moving faster, the bag then started to flap against the side of the van... ping, off it went flying behind and landing full-on onto the black cab window behind us.

This is a true story.

In reply to LastBoyScout:


Whether this is sensible or not depends on the person in question. I've had a swiss army knife since a young age and never go anywhere without it because its so damned useful!

In reply to Tony the Blade:

Hilarious. That's made my Friday afternoon.

In reply to exiled_northerner:
Mate of mine's teenage son was responsible for buying the group food for a multi day mid summer expedition through the mountains with a bunch of similar aged teenagers.

He went to Tesco and bought a week's supply of frozen ready meals.

In reply to David Alcock:
Driving a minibus full of London private school kids on a multi-activity trip. I put on the radio. One of them chirps up "Oh, I didn't know you could get radio reception in Wales."

We were in the Peak District.

In reply to exiled_northerner:

Years ago, I attempted DofE, much of which went well.

Couple of things didn't, though, and I eventually gave up and left within a whisker of completing Silver.

Didn't hear anything else for a couple of years and was then phoned up out of the blue and asked if I'd like to go back as an instructor.

In reply to Fredt:


I have had a group of 8 Scouts peeling beansprouts during a Thai cooking night, because they didn't know any better, although a couple, in fairness, weren't entirely convinced. All credit to the one that had any idea about cooking and kept a straight face while chopping the chicken.

In reply to exiled_northerner:

Walking down a valley with a group of scouts, 1 of them asks-

"If I ate my own arm, would I gain weight or would I loose weight?"

In reply to Andy DB:

The smallest Scout in my group sent on an over night hike with 2 microwave meals and a 1 kg bag of sugar. His mother was not the brightest.

We always kit checked before we left.

Most of his was left behind.

In reply to Parrys_apprentice:

You assume that the kids are paying attention....

In reply to Gustav:



What if he was on a treadmill at the time?

I'd say lose, even if he could render the whole arm down so it was completely edible, there'd be the energy loss in eating and digestion, plus the excretion of indigestible mass...

Hmmm..
I'm going to be thinking about this all night, as well as why my iPad thinks that "I'm going" should be autocorrected to "I' mooing".

In reply to exiled_northerner:

With a group of YTS trainees walking up Dungeon Ghyll to visit one of the tops in a November cold snap. One of the fittest, a lad who I once saw do 2000 press ups !!!, started to get rather hot, red in the face and started to lag behind. On closer inspection I saw he was wearing a wet suit under his normal clothing.

"Well, Dave you suggested I check the weather and I did. It said it was going to be -3deg C and I had no idea how cold that was so borrowed my friends wet suit in case ........."

On discovering -3 oC wasn't going to freeze him to death the wet suit was removed.

In reply to exiled_northerner:

We normally do an overnight expedition on our summer scout camps and invariably we have a new lad lagging behind / miserable etc. After a fair bit of chivvying we leaders see if we can lighten their rucsac by taking the odd item out and sharing it amongst the group, or re-pack it so it's comfy etc. On more than one occasion we've picked up the bag which is only supposed to contain lunch, waterproofs, change of clothes, sleeping bag, karrimat, eating irons and a bit of evening meal ingredients to find it suspiciously heavy. Unpacking then reveals wet towels and other such useless things - for some reason a lad thinks hiking is a test of strength and fills their rucsac as much as they can! One year there was only the useless stuff and nothing that was actually needed!

In reply to Tony the Blade:

Fantastic. Gave me a good ole belly laugh