UKC

If you have been a climber for a long time it's fair to assume the a good proportion of your friends are climbers and a fair amount of your socialising revolves around these people. This is certainly the case for me, especially as I am self employed so do not have any work colleagues as such.

Having broken my leg 2 months ago I feel very isolated and removed from the climbing scene. In the days after my accident I got a lot of support and love from my climbing mates but as days turned into weeks then months this has all but dried up.

This has left me wondering what happens when climbing stops being part of your life, it obviously leaves a huge gap. How do you fill it? Take up golf?? Have to develop a whole new group of friends? I know some of my climbing mates will be friends for life but a large number of my other climbing acquaintances I would probably never see again if i was no longer part of the scene.

Not that I'm quite ready to quit climbing but my accident has made me think...

In reply to Beardyman:

Broken legs will heal, but that's not what you're asking.

Depends on the reason for stopping climbing I guess. If it was an upper body injury then taking up hillwalking and joining a mountaineering club for that would seem a good option.

In reply to Beardyman:

If your 'mates' have abandoned you that quickly, they're not real mates...

People move on. Friends come and go. That's life. Real friends tend to stick around for longer, though.

And,yes, interests come and go. Mountain biking seems to be a common post-climbing activity.

In reply to Beardyman:
Had to give up climbing, I now sit on my arse and do white water kayaking, and have made new friends, it takes time, money, and effort, but I am happy to have climbed but I am loving WW

In reply to Beardyman:

In my case climbing has created loyalties that will last for life; I'm just back from the 36th annual reunion of our old Poly mountaineering club at a place in Derbyshire and with old friends you can just pick up where you left off, even if that was a whole year ago. I'm sure those loyalties will continue until we've all abbed off this earth.

Although not in regular contact with climbers any more or even doing any climbing I still describe myself as a climber or mountaineer and I keep fit and slim by road biking, which suits my sense of aesthetics and keeps me fitter than any other sport, not least mountaineering!

In reply to Beardyman:
Yes , its life but not as we know it .

Due to too many operations to both my knees climbing is now not an option , although belaying the inspired is , but its not the same as being on the wall .

Coming to terms with no more Alpine days is a burden, and will I ever summit Helvellyn again ? Probably not !

Although I will be back up there , in the Lakes in just two weeks time , some where close to Glenridding , only for the week , just me, Mrs H and the dog Leo .

Its life but not as we new it !

In reply to Beardyman:

Get a dog

In reply to Beardyman:

I lost touch with some of my climbing friends when I moved to a different area. It made me realise how dependent I was on climbing and climbing alone so I decided to take up other hobbies. I'm also not getting any younger. I tried all the usual, painting, photography etc. but they just didn't do it for me and in any case I was crap. I mountain bike but as this was, at least for me, also weather dependent I looked for something that I could do at home. I started out having flying lessons and, on the advice of other pilots, I invested in flight simulation hardware and software. This got me interested in aviation in general and flight simming in particular. It's amazing what you can do fairly inexpensively. For me getting a Private Pilots Licence and flying will be too expensive but I have got into the flight simming world with a vengeance. Even though I do not have a licence I can take off, navigate and land a light aircraft without any input from an instructor and this would not have been possible if I had not put many hours in on the sim which teaches you all the controls and procedures in an interactive environment and building and operating my "cockpit" continues to be great fun on it's own.

In reply to Beardyman:

I do understand how you feel. I badly broke my tib and fib (see my gallery) on the 15th of March and now have a considerable amount of metal work in my leg. I am non weight bearing at the moment and am looking at quite a long period off work. I have received a great deal of support from friends who climb and those who don't. It is inevitable that people won't be there as frequently as they were in the days following the accident. Everyone has busy lives and lots of things that require their attention. Those people who are genuinely your friends will still visit but it is up to you to play your part in the friendship by getting in touch and making plans. It is easy to recluse yourself and you must work hard to avoid this.

I have tried hard to fill my time with some worthwhile stuff each day. I have written letters to my class at school, scanned loads of slides, read etc. This at least makes each day seem like less of a waste of time. This has been the first week that I have really been able to go anywhere. Friends picked me up and took me to the wall on Tuesday. This was great as I got to see friends and feel part of the scene and find out what's been going on.

In terms of climbing again I can only imagine that I will. Perhaps my accident will change how well and how boldly and could well make me think twice about certain routes. I have just started using the beast maker this week which will certainly help afterwards. I have my first appointment in six weeks on the 13th May and will be able to find out how well I am healing at that point. From that point I will hopefully be able to begin physio and start to be able to walk again. I imagine that this will be a slow and quite difficult process which will require will power and positivity. I know though that everyday is a little closer to being able to do things again.

I wish you the very best with your recovery and hope that life improves soon.

Give us a shout if you fancy a few routes once we are both up and about. We can compare aches and pains and we'll both have a ready set of excuses for being crap!

James

In reply to Beardyman:

Thanks for you messages folks.

Just to clarify a bit: I live out in the sticks so it is quite an effort for folks to visit me. I know folks all have busy lives and as I'm here being looked after by my family I guess they don't all see the need I have for emotional support from them too.
I have a small core group of climbing friends that have been really great, the ones that send me regular messages are a massive help.

I fully intend to get back climbing as soon as possible, even if that means moving the goal posts. I was pretty close to bagging my 1st 8a boulder problem before the accident. Maybe now I'll concentrate on pushing my sport climbing grades until I can happily jump off stuff again.

I fairly quickly got my head round the physical side of my injury but was unprepared for the emotional journey it has been, I do find myself getting pretty depressed but it can be hard to reach out to mates - no one likes a needy whine! I want folks to want to visit me, not feel they should out of pity.

It has got me thinking though - what would I lose if this was the end?!

In reply to james mann:

Thanks James - Looks like you did a good job on your leg too!!

I'm in a similar position with 9 screws and a plate. I did mine on the 10th March and get my cast off this week! Being stuck in the house sucks eh? Glad you are managing to fill your time productively, I have been exercising most days and have spent loads of time playing my guitar and writing songs. If you fancy a chat feel free to email or Facebook me, I think we are going to have a similar journey and recovery! D

In reply to GridNorth:


Exactly mate, I have realised I have been putting all my eggs in the 'Climbing' basket.

In reply to Beardyman: if you can no longer climb for what ever reason do what I did buy a good camara and some good kit and take photos of other people climbing instead. You still get to go to all your old and some new haunts and enjoy climbing and walking but dont have to put in all the effort training.

In reply to Russell Lovett:

Yeah, that's a good idea. I love filming climbing anyway - vimeo.com/user5165240 - and I have always loved watching mates achieve their goals. In fact some of my most memorable days out have been when a good mate finally nailed their project.

In reply to Beardyman:
I still climb although only easy stuff these days basically I cant be arsed to do the training now in getting a bit older, take a look at my UKc photo gallery I'm no expert when it comes to photography but you can still have fun and still get out to the crags and hills. As for Gear you can spend as much or little as you like camaras and lenses are so good these days it doesn't make much difference what you use.

In reply to Beardyman:

After climbing a lot I took up paragliding. I have never looked back, a whole new experience to be had in the mountains! The other day I flew up the cliff of Buachille Etive Mor looking at the cliffs I previously climbed on, it was absolutely amazing I still climb a bit but less. There are so many amazing things one can do with their spare time, climbing is not the only amazing thing out there!

Paragliding may not the the best given your leg injuries but gliding with sail palnes could be an option. Sailing? There are so many options, one door closes, another opens! Good luck.

In reply to Beardyman:

I am not in a cast now. I was only in one for 10 days post operation and have been in an aircast boot for the last 4 weeks or so. I have managed a bit more this weekend and have been to the park with the dog and also out in the car with the missus like old folk! These things sound easy but are properly tiring! Have been fingerboarding when she's cooking tea
as am slightly worried about what happens if I hurt myself home alone! Have pmd email address. You should be able to find me on Facebook with this.

James

In reply to Beardyman:
Then don't. If its really in your blood you just do something. Im 81 and still get out at least with a bit of bouldering or bouldering walls even if I look an idiot. And if you really have been a climber there will still be a few mates to encourage you. Only if you are really incapacitated are you entitled to bellyache. It's in your head, not your body. Get out and look at the hills if nothing else. That's where the inspiration comes from.

In reply to Beardyman:
I've got in the back of my mind the analogy of life being like a tapestry, and being richer the wider the range of threads which are woven into it

In reply to Beardyman:


I guess it could be just be about being more open to opportunities to making friends outside of climbing?

In reply to Timmd:


Then again, the tapestry may be better with a bit more focus?

In reply to jcw:

>Im 81 and still get out at least with a bit of bouldering or bouldering walls even if I look an idiot.

I'm sure you don't look an idiot! An inspiration to us in our 40's that we still have at least another 40 years worth of climbing left in our bodies!

In reply to Beardyman:

Oddly most of the people I mountain bike with are ex climbers. I guess you just pick another sport or start doing open mic poetry. Like you say, mates will be friends for life.

In reply to Beardyman:


You do something else you enjoy, make new friends, the real friends you made through climbing will remain with you. Sounds to me like you need to arrange a day/evening in or out with your friends.

Hope the leg heals well,
jk

In reply to Beardyman:

I agree with what pretty much everyone else is saying - your true friends will stay your friends regardless, and that you should take this opportunity to try different things.

On a practical note, if friends can't come to see you can you catch up on Skype or similar? For random entertainment, do you like making things? Meccano, Lego, airfix are all good for distraction and giving you a sense of purpose and achievement.

I've slowly come to realise that you only get one go at life, and you have to make the best of it - do what you can to make life enjoyable now rather than concentrating on wishing this time away so you can get back to your old life.

Hope your leg gets better soon
Cat

In reply to GridNorth:

Did you consider paragliding?

In reply to Beardyman:

This genre of accident is v thought provoking. Do you maintain a cirlce of friends (mates) in order to climb, or do you climb in order to keep your social needs met? I know I'm guilty incorrect priorities ...

In reply to Beardyman:

I guess the answer will vary with the individual, but for me two huge parts of climbing are a) the locations/situations and b) the company I keep.

I will always walk in the hills even if I can't do routes; I suspect the people I walk with will be those I climb with now. So many shared experiences - exhilaration and fear; contentment and discomfort.

I thought, when my grades started to drop, that I would resent it. I don't. The wonder of climbing is that a whole vista of new stuff is always there. The one thing I do feel uncomfortable about is the balance of conversation starting to slip in favour of reminiscence over anticipation. I fight this hard and, for the time being, I win.

Of course I envy the majesty of youth. But the key is to find the enjoyment in the red kites wheeling over the local beacon during a weekend walk as much as the condors over my Andean eyrie during a first ascent all those years ago.

You've bust your leg. It'll heal and you'll be surprised by what you still climb. Best grade E3? Do you know how many amazing E2s and E1s there are... and that's assuming you don't get back to form (which is far from a given). You've got a young kid (or stole one for your profile pic) - I suspect that life will fill with even better stuff before you know it. And the friends? They're still there; you're perhaps just ahead of the wave a little.

So don't be too glum; it's far from over!

In reply to LeeWood:

Not for a second. Fixed wing aircraft was/is my only interest and I have no idea why.

In reply to Beardyman:

My top tip is try and take all of that frustration and annoyance at being broken and stuck, and turn it into pure brute power with the help of a beastmaker. Worked for Shauna...

In reply to JJL:


Yes, I can understand that. Conversations tend to be much more 'alive' and animated when they're about stuff you've done recently or are looking forward to do than things you both did in the past. If nothing else, there's no new information in the latter.

In reply to Beardyman:

I no longer climb at all (damaged eyes: can't see properly), but have no regrets. Don't even really miss it, mostly because I appreciate that when one door closes, many others open up. There are 1000s of creative, imaginative, and immensely satisfying things to do in life apart from climbing.

In reply to Beardyman:
I was a racing cyclist through my teens until my early 20s when I started climbing. I came back to the bike in my late 50's following tendon and shoulder rotator issues, and am still riding the occasional time trial in my late 60's and doing club runs of up to 100 miles.

Even so, I still get the occasional urge for a spot of gentle bimbling.

On the inspirational side of things there's a lady in our club who suffered a bad accident in her 20's and ended up having a below knee amputation. She came back to the bike in her 60's and still riding time trials. Last year she completed a 100 mile event in under 5 hours -- a personal best - and even better than she acheived before her accident almost 40 years ago!