In reply to splat2million: reminds me of my scrap yard story :
Many moons ago I was based in Gateshead, but spent most of the time away climbing or skiing , living in an ageing escort estate. After a longish trip to France/Italy the car limped back to Gateshead very "tired" and almost died . We were flat broke so the only option was to try to fix it on the street. One of the rear stud axles was shot so off I cycled on my trusty Sacracen tough tracks with a cragging sack full of tools to a large and very off the grid scrap yard. Now in my early 20 s I would have described my appearance as erm , a wee bit unconventional and so when I cycled into a a rough scrappy in the middle of one of the roughest parts of Britain I wasn't expecting high fives. As I anticipated the office was home to two or three trolls and the obvious boss sat behind an oilly desk , covered in tats, shaved head, counting a large roll of cash ( yes really) . Unexpectedly he looked up immediately , greeted me relatively warmly and when I explained what i needed said he was sure there were a couple of escorts at the far end of the yard and I should go and ask for someone with a nickname I can't remember to get the car down so I could remove the axle. Off I go through mad max land and there at the top of a stack of three wrecks is an escort of exactly the same year as mine . Jezzer , or whatever he was called, was not happy to see me. He was hammering away at something or other nearby and refused to acknowledge my presence , I spoke with a funny (not local) accent and looked weird .
After about 20 minutes stood feeling stupid I gave up, and decided to go elsewhere.
On the way out I stuck my head in the office and said " jezzer s not a very happy bunny today is he ?" and made to leave . The head (and so far reasonably affable) troll jumped up with surprising agility , walked over and asked me what happened. What then ensued was priceless . With a great deal of swearing and insultery he called in jezzer and three other scrap yard monkeys and made them stand infront if me while he dressed them down with much reference to the marital state of their parents , there unusual sexual preferences , strange practices with their mothers and their general unworthiness as human beings. He ended by saying that no matter what anybody looked like ,when they came through the gates it was to give him money which he then gave some of it to them .He then directed all of them to get the escort down , get the stud axel off , clean it and bring it to the office. He then sat me in the office and directed one of the office sitters to make me a brew . Half an hour later Off I cycled with the axle neatly wrapped in newspaper .
