UKC

A distant cousin recently died and I asked her sister to whom I should send a donation in lieu of flowers. She gave me the name of a charity and I looked up their web page. Although they appeared to be a legitimate organisation they were not a set up to whom I would normally subscribe(too much of a religious thing about it). I deferred however and made a donation

It occurred to me that that, in a similar situation, some would have quite serious objections to donating to a particular charity or whatever. Anyone been in this situation? How did you deal with it?

In reply to mypyrex:

On the grounds that it seemed unlikely that the deceased would find out, I took the decision to donate to another charity I felt comfortable with.

In reply to mypyrex:

In my opinion if they are your friend then I would expect their wishes to be honored. Obviously if it were something like an IS support fund then think again and maybe look at your friends but other than that just go with it.

In reply to mypyrex:

Easy one with a religious charity, just give the donation.

If there is a God then your cousin will be up there chuffed at your generosity.

If there isn't then she won't know you've wasted your money.

In reply to mypyrex:

I think do it..

Say you or someone you loved passed on and you asked for donations to the Nepal fund?

Others may think aid should stay in the UK (I don't), how would you feel then?

In reply to mypyrex:
I would donate out of respect to friend/relative's wishes unless I strongly objected and had justified reasons to refuse. I've certainly given to charities I would not normally have considered in other circumstances when asked.

In reply to mypyrex:

I would be highly reluctant to donate to any cause I didn't sympathise with. Whether I was open about my decision would depend on the likely reception or possible offence caused. If you think it's making the world a worse place then don't do it, even if other people disagree.

In reply to mypyrex:

Had the same dilemma recently too,at my grandmas funeral last month my mum/siblings requested donations be made directly to the church(Methodist).i decided after seeing the effects of altzheimers on her and my lack of godliness my donation would be better off elsewhere.of course I didn't make a big deal about it and kept it quiet as to not cause a fuss .

In reply to mypyrex:

I normally like to keep some old steel washers in my pocket for when folks shake charity boxes at me and its normally handy to get my shopping bagged at the supermarket by the Scouts.

In reply to mypyrex:

My personal experience of dealing with funerals and that of family and friends who have done so is that the charity is usually one the deceased supported.

Even if I couldn't get totally on board with a charity it is more constructive than the old practice of spending at a florist who you don't know and in turn may spend their disposable income in a way in which you don't approve. (It probably makes me a bad person that I am chuckling to myself imagining the old dear in the local florist dressed up in neo nazi regalia). The way I see it, a donation is giving by proxy one last time for the person who has passed.

If it was something I absolutely disagreed with I'd quietly donate to something else. I had a situation once in the US where they were asking for donations for a charity that was prolife and in particular anti stem cell research. I knew these were nothing along the lines of the sympathies of the person whose funeral it was. Despite being an ungodly atheist I instead donated to a christian charity that educated and campaigned in favour of stem cell research and promoted discussion of it in christian circles.