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3 turds in the Sgumain cave this week have left their poo neatly covered in cobbles.
WHO in their right mind thought that this was a good idea?
Did you take it in turns? Compare notes & congratulate each other?
Thanks to modern technology and climbing policemen who happen to be have brought their knowledge with them we've been able to take DNA samples before clearing the mess up. It seems unlikely that we'll get a match but criminal behaviour like this is surely only carried out by mass murderers and serial scatologists.
Thanks a bunch; I hope you failed to do any climbing & got eaten alive.
WHO in their right mind thought that this was a good idea?
Did you take it in turns? Compare notes & congratulate each other?
Thanks to modern technology and climbing policemen who happen to be have brought their knowledge with them we've been able to take DNA samples before clearing the mess up. It seems unlikely that we'll get a match but criminal behaviour like this is surely only carried out by mass murderers and serial scatologists.
Thanks a bunch; I hope you failed to do any climbing & got eaten alive.
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In reply to Mike Lates:
When nature calls...
I did a bostin crap at bus stop quarry a few weeks ago (away from the routes), it looked like King Kong's finger, I forgot my phone or I would have taken a picture
When nature calls...
I did a bostin crap at bus stop quarry a few weeks ago (away from the routes), it looked like King Kong's finger, I forgot my phone or I would have taken a picture
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In reply to Mike Lates:
Here here. If people are finding privacy an issue in the mountains then why not get a few of these:
http://www.needlesports.com/2672/products/clean-waste-go-anywhere-toilet-ki...
Not only do they provide ample privacy by covering your entire back end while you're going, but you can also take your waste home with you, leaving the mountains turd free for everyone to enjoy.
Here here. If people are finding privacy an issue in the mountains then why not get a few of these:
http://www.needlesports.com/2672/products/clean-waste-go-anywhere-toilet-ki...
Not only do they provide ample privacy by covering your entire back end while you're going, but you can also take your waste home with you, leaving the mountains turd free for everyone to enjoy.
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In reply to Mike Lates:
I can't wait to see how you're going to match any DNA profiles you would have got if actual real policemen had wasted public money on this.
But in a spirit of public-mindedness, if you send me your address, I'll send you a poo sample. Just to rule myself out, you understand. What kind of paper bag do you want it in?
I can't wait to see how you're going to match any DNA profiles you would have got if actual real policemen had wasted public money on this.
But in a spirit of public-mindedness, if you send me your address, I'll send you a poo sample. Just to rule myself out, you understand. What kind of paper bag do you want it in?
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In reply to Mike Lates:
I find the best way of avoiding Al-fresco pooing is to take loo roll with you. If you've got this in your bag, you're not going to need it. Forget the loo roll and you're going to wish you hadn't.
I find the best way of avoiding Al-fresco pooing is to take loo roll with you. If you've got this in your bag, you're not going to need it. Forget the loo roll and you're going to wish you hadn't.
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In reply to Mike Lates:
I'm a bit disappointed to hear you're climbing in there when the turd isn't properly frozen.
I'm a bit disappointed to hear you're climbing in there when the turd isn't properly frozen.
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In reply to UrbanSteve:
You're right: nothing tops a pile of nuggets like a few flappy bits of paper. Maybe a bag to put it in and hang off a tree?
#turdbagging
You're right: nothing tops a pile of nuggets like a few flappy bits of paper. Maybe a bag to put it in and hang off a tree?
#turdbagging
In reply to Mike Lates:
Amateurs.
When I'm out and about I just carry a red and white polka dot hanky. When I need to lay some cable I just pop the hanky on the ground and crimp off a length right in the middle. You just need then to pick up the four corners, hang it off the end of a long stick and walk out with the stick over your shoulder.
Amateurs.
When I'm out and about I just carry a red and white polka dot hanky. When I need to lay some cable I just pop the hanky on the ground and crimp off a length right in the middle. You just need then to pick up the four corners, hang it off the end of a long stick and walk out with the stick over your shoulder.
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In reply to Mark Collins:
Who in their right mind would carry one of those around. Like our bags aren't weighed down enough already. We're the only animals that don't shit in the wild so if we occasionally need to what's the problem. Obviously avoid doing it at the start of a 3 star classic at stanage popular
Who in their right mind would carry one of those around. Like our bags aren't weighed down enough already. We're the only animals that don't shit in the wild so if we occasionally need to what's the problem. Obviously avoid doing it at the start of a 3 star classic at stanage popular
Post edited at 11:54
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In reply to Mike Lates:
Dear Mike,
I'm afraid many climbers are filthy selfish self-obsessed scumbags with zero respect for others or t'environment.
You have highlighted a universal problem at climbing venues.
Those responsible will not give a sh1t of course.
It's an I want I want I want climbing society.
Principle and responsibility we can hope will return.
DC
Dear Mike,
I'm afraid many climbers are filthy selfish self-obsessed scumbags with zero respect for others or t'environment.
You have highlighted a universal problem at climbing venues.
Those responsible will not give a sh1t of course.
It's an I want I want I want climbing society.
Principle and responsibility we can hope will return.
DC
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In reply to Dave Cumberland:
yes because doing what is quite possible the most natural thing possible in nature is some how damaging the environment? What logic
yes because doing what is quite possible the most natural thing possible in nature is some how damaging the environment? What logic
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In reply to Webster:
I don't think you're completely wrong there, but I don't think it's really that simple.
Human faeces is effectively 'dirtier' for humans than that from most other animals, as it can spread human diseases. I'm led to believe it generally smells worse to humans, too. (It's not that I'm not human, I just can't smell stuff!)
I've done a fair few al-fresco poos over the years. If it's a distance away from places people spend time (the foot of a climb, a hill summit, or the like), it's not by running water, it's somewhere it can degrade quickly, and it isn't visible from a distance, I don't see a problem with it.
But in a cave, where people might shelter and where it will never rain on it? Not good!
I don't think you're completely wrong there, but I don't think it's really that simple.
Human faeces is effectively 'dirtier' for humans than that from most other animals, as it can spread human diseases. I'm led to believe it generally smells worse to humans, too. (It's not that I'm not human, I just can't smell stuff!)
I've done a fair few al-fresco poos over the years. If it's a distance away from places people spend time (the foot of a climb, a hill summit, or the like), it's not by running water, it's somewhere it can degrade quickly, and it isn't visible from a distance, I don't see a problem with it.
But in a cave, where people might shelter and where it will never rain on it? Not good!
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In reply to Webster:
I'm afraid many climbers are filthy selfish self-obsessed scumbags with zero respect for others or t'environment.
You have just confirmed it.
I'm afraid many climbers are filthy selfish self-obsessed scumbags with zero respect for others or t'environment.
You have just confirmed it.
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In reply to Mike Lates:
It's a problem even on roadside crags in the Highlands. See https://www.facebook.com/CairngormMountainGuides/posts/667834099983807?pnre...
It's a problem even on roadside crags in the Highlands. See https://www.facebook.com/CairngormMountainGuides/posts/667834099983807?pnre...
In reply to Webster:
The logic of science. Scaling the problem up somewhat -
http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/music/festivals/glastonbury...
Admittedly the pee of 135,000 people is somewhat more concerning than a couple of Skye jobbies, but stating that doing "the most natural thing possible" is somehow not damaging to the environment is manifest nonsense.
> yes because doing what is quite possible the most natural thing possible in nature is some how damaging the environment? What logic
The logic of science. Scaling the problem up somewhat -
http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/music/festivals/glastonbury...
Admittedly the pee of 135,000 people is somewhat more concerning than a couple of Skye jobbies, but stating that doing "the most natural thing possible" is somehow not damaging to the environment is manifest nonsense.
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In reply to Sean Kelly:
I'd like to see you make much imprint on the average Cuillin scree field with a plastic trowel! Personally I think it's time to face the elephant in the room and find/use an effective poo-bag system.
I'd like to see you make much imprint on the average Cuillin scree field with a plastic trowel! Personally I think it's time to face the elephant in the room and find/use an effective poo-bag system.
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In reply to Jamie B:
I've never been there, but from photographs I've seen it doesn't look like a poo-bag system would work, where are the trees to hang them from?
I've never been there, but from photographs I've seen it doesn't look like a poo-bag system would work, where are the trees to hang them from?
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In reply to EddInaBox:
Sorry, don't understand. A poo-bag in my world is a bag you shit in and then take home. Materials, wash-ability and closure obviously important. You may be envisaging something more elaborate?
Sorry, don't understand. A poo-bag in my world is a bag you shit in and then take home. Materials, wash-ability and closure obviously important. You may be envisaging something more elaborate?
In reply to Jamie B:
No, it's really simple, just a human version of the system dog owners have been using for years.
http://www.kirriemuirherald.co.uk/webimage/1.3720058.1426605516!/image/8318...
No, it's really simple, just a human version of the system dog owners have been using for years.
http://www.kirriemuirherald.co.uk/webimage/1.3720058.1426605516!/image/8318...
In reply to EddInaBox:
I think Jamie B's irony filter was switched off.
That's disgusting but not surprising given what I see when out running. Nothing against dogs, but I hate their owners.
Human crap is not the same as animals because of all the processed shit we eat. This guy has no regard for others so should simply be shot.
I think Jamie B's irony filter was switched off.
That's disgusting but not surprising given what I see when out running. Nothing against dogs, but I hate their owners.
Human crap is not the same as animals because of all the processed shit we eat. This guy has no regard for others so should simply be shot.
Post edited at 08:32
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In reply to Martin not maisie:
it's going to cost £100m. The police will be taking DNA samples of everybody entering and leaving Skye. The next big project is a Marxist library, only open to sandle wearers and people who want to increase the deficit.
> I can't wait to see how you're going to match any DNA profiles you would have got if actual real policemen had wasted public money on this.
> But in a spirit of public-mindedness, if you send me your address, I'll send you a poo sample. Just to rule myself out, you understand. What kind of paper bag do you want it in?
it's going to cost £100m. The police will be taking DNA samples of everybody entering and leaving Skye. The next big project is a Marxist library, only open to sandle wearers and people who want to increase the deficit.
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In reply to Mike Lates:
A nature poo is very enjoyable. One must dump where the poo will decompose and away from areas in regular use. If the above impossible kick it somewhere else (same for your dog- kick the turd into the hedge from the path if you don't have a bag) or bag it up and remove. No reason why you can't pick up a man turd in a doggy poop bag.
Most of the time choose a good spot where your poo will decompose. The paper won't so easily, so burn that or bag it up. Easy shitting.
A nature poo is very enjoyable. One must dump where the poo will decompose and away from areas in regular use. If the above impossible kick it somewhere else (same for your dog- kick the turd into the hedge from the path if you don't have a bag) or bag it up and remove. No reason why you can't pick up a man turd in a doggy poop bag.
Most of the time choose a good spot where your poo will decompose. The paper won't so easily, so burn that or bag it up. Easy shitting.
In reply to ClayClay:
Indeed, it's quite remarkable how much the prospect of a tricky E3 lead can cure the most stubborn bout of constipation.
> Easy shitting.
Indeed, it's quite remarkable how much the prospect of a tricky E3 lead can cure the most stubborn bout of constipation.
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In reply to UrbanSteve:
Wet wipes, a few in a sealable sandwich bag to keep them moist.
These are much better than a loo roll and have other uses too. ( don't forget a spare bag for removal and proper disposal)
Wet wipes, a few in a sealable sandwich bag to keep them moist.
These are much better than a loo roll and have other uses too. ( don't forget a spare bag for removal and proper disposal)
In reply to JasonV:
Not such a big problem, as the guilty party are very likely to revisit the scene of their 'crime ' ( Skye ) so the police would only have to swab the climbers that come to Skye.
They also tend to collect in specific areas, ( and pubs) and are easily identifiable as climbers so this could be done fairly cheaply, certainly not 100million.
(They may also helpfully log on the internet that they have been in a specific area, making it even easier to trace them. )
( if you see the barman swabbing your beer glass, you will know who he is helping
> it's going to cost £100m. The police will be taking DNA samples of everybody entering and leaving Skye.
Not such a big problem, as the guilty party are very likely to revisit the scene of their 'crime ' ( Skye ) so the police would only have to swab the climbers that come to Skye.
They also tend to collect in specific areas, ( and pubs) and are easily identifiable as climbers so this could be done fairly cheaply, certainly not 100million.
(They may also helpfully log on the internet that they have been in a specific area, making it even easier to trace them. )
( if you see the barman swabbing your beer glass, you will know who he is helping
In reply to Jim C:
That would certainly be useful to testers.
> (They may also helpfully log on the internet
That would certainly be useful to testers.
In reply to Jim C:
Note your advice to take spare bags for removal of them but WET WIPES are the worst type of poo-associated litter. The claims to be biodegradable by some manufacturers are amongst the most misleading bits of marketing I've seen. Climbers seemed to avoid dissentry perfectly well without ever needing wetwipes or sterilising gel.
Note your advice to take spare bags for removal of them but WET WIPES are the worst type of poo-associated litter. The claims to be biodegradable by some manufacturers are amongst the most misleading bits of marketing I've seen. Climbers seemed to avoid dissentry perfectly well without ever needing wetwipes or sterilising gel.
In reply to Jim C:
On a lighter note-
Sgurr Sgumain has a great cave,
so big you could have a great rave,
but some great tit,
in it had a shit,
and now you'd have to be brave.
On a lighter note-
Sgurr Sgumain has a great cave,
so big you could have a great rave,
but some great tit,
in it had a shit,
and now you'd have to be brave.
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In reply to Jim C:
The dirty bastards are shitting on the internet now...?
> They may also helpfully log on the internet
The dirty bastards are shitting on the internet now...?
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