UKC

How to deal with workplace bullying?

Apart from coming to the conclusion that work life is going to be not worth it and leaving what else can you do about it?

In reply to subtle:

Depends who the bully is. All workplaces will have policies and procedures etc. But depending on the person sometimes you're better off just leaving. In my 26 years of professional work I've only ever met 3 people whom I thought no matter what I do they won't change. I took it as s cue to leave so did. I now hold more seniority and status than they do. Thereby proving being a shit doesn't always help you get on in life.

Ultimately you have to decide; challenge and keep your dignity or leave and keep your dignity.

In reply to subtle:
Document everything which happens while trying to work out whether the organisation you work for might do something about it to your benefit.

In reply to subtle:

Secret revenge.

In reply to subtle:

If you're in a union contact the local steward. Familiarise yourself with your organizations bullying and harassment. Document everything.

In reply to subtle:

Find a better job. My last experience of a scumbag like this he had got my manager on side so I was screwed if I reported it and screwed if I didn't. Now in a much better job that I enjoy! Karma comes round eventually

In reply to Removed UserDeleted bagger:

Fingers crossed the culprit isn't a union steward! That was the case for a neighbouring department at work.

OP raise your issues with whoever is appropriate and document all that in addition to the undesirable behaviour. Take it as high as you need to get the issue tackled.

Best of luck.

In reply to subtle:
+1 to the "depends" answer.
If you are in a small private company and the company owner is the bully then you probably have to just accept it or go to your boss and say "this stops now or I'm leaving" with the expectation that you will infact be leaving.
If you are in a large corporation, there are plenty of policies in place. Talk to HR and find out your options, even if it is your boss, you will have a bosses boss or even his boss whom you can take it to. Large corporations do stuff like this pretty much by the book because the alternative union or litigation action isn't worth it for them

Collecting evidence is a good idea. Contacting your union if you have one is a good idea.
You do have the possibility of taking legal action but I'd guess that unless the bully is doing something patently outrageous like nailing rotting goat skulls to your front door, this is probably just a doorway to a long, tortuous, expensive and ultimately non-worthwhile life. You can always talk to citizens advice if you think you want to go down the legal route though (or if it is outrageous as above, just phone your local police station and arrange a time to give them a statement so they can open a case).

Everything depends on your circumstances: How easy would it be to get a new job? How much to you enjoy your current job? Can you afford to be unemployed for a while? etc. etc.

In reply to subtle:

Make sure you avoid being on your own with the person, and that all communication is by email if possible.

I make use of phrases in my email to the manager along the lines of x seems confused, this is what was agreed, but now they are saying something else.

In reply to subtle:
Lot of good advice above.

I'll add, and emphasise: nip it in the bud. An unchallenged act of bullying sets the benchmark for what a bully feels he/she can do. The resultant stress can be much more damaging than simply making your working life a bit unpleasant. Stress can make you physically ill and being bullied, whether by passive-aggressive abuse of power or simple intimidation, can diminish your self confidence both at work and in general. Never "just let it go this time." It is much more empowering and effective to face down a tormentor or raise the issue with senior management/HR in a polite and assertive manner than it is to explode after bottling it up.

In reply to henwardian:



Yep.


Depends on the organisation. Some large organisations have HR departments that do what they're told, no matter what bollocks they put in their policies.


Agreed.


Or kill their pets and subtley let them know it was you. (Hypothetically speaking of course).

In reply to subtle:

I think like Biped said, try and nip it in the bud. I worked in a place where my supposed team leader, thought being a team leader mean't putting down and denigrating people, though not 100% of the time, just enough to gradually wear you down, it was insidious and my confidence just went down and down over 3 years. I ended up leaving, there seemed to be a lot of bully in this workplace, a few people complained to HR but nothing was really done about it.

I did work at another place where someone's manager was a bully (he was team lead on a IT team). I used to go to meetings with him and he'd always try and trump any ideas his team had, despite one of them being a well know guru in the programming language they were using. I don't think he even realised he was doing it because once one of his staff complained, he really changed his ways, as he was actually a nice person.

Good luck

In reply to Father Noel Furlong:


You would hope so wouldn't you! We don't have any. Nor do I have a formal contract over and above my offer letter.

In reply to Timmd:

Just to +1 this, keep a record of everything said/done.

In reply to subtle:

You've had excellent advice so far. You can do one of three things of which keeping evidence in a diary form of what they said - exactly or specifics and not generalisations such as 'they got at me' - you need the bit about what they said or did that made you feel bullied.

Secondly you could and perhaps should raise a formal grievance again spelling out the details and occasions.

These first two are important because your employer has duty of care under the H&S act to make sure that you in a safe working environment, and bullying causing stress/distress etc., comes under health & safety!

Finally and you may need to steal yourself to do it, but challenge the bully. Not by subtle or damage or insults etc., but starting off with; "when you did xx I felt you were unreasonable etc., etc"., and see where the discussion goes.

Not all bullies are aware that their behaviour makes others feel bullied.

In reply to subtle:

Document what happens when you approach the person you feel is bullying you too. Perhaps 'You might not realise it, but when you do X I feel like you're...'

If they respond to that in a bullying way it really needs to be recorded.

In reply to marsbar:



I like the use of confused.

In reply to subtle:

It depends. I agree that it should be dealt with quickly so as to not allow it to grow worse. It could be harder if the bully is higher up in the hierarchy than you, I hate it when people do that as I feel sometimes they're abusing their position or power. As much as I hated school bullies, they were in many ways easier to deal with than work place bullies.

Record everything in detail as has been mentioned.
Find out what the company policy is and the procedure for dealing with it.
Speak to somebody if you can who is in a position to deal with it.

As much as I hate the idea, sometimes leaving is an option. I don't like the thought of letting such people win by giving up your job but sometimes I think that the stress of having to bring the case to light and be dealt with is either more trouble than it is worth, can make the situation worse, not taken seriously or just too much work somebody to do.

In reply to subtle:

Poo through their letterbox.