UKC

TL,DR: I had a nasty (and stupid) fall. Am now scared of most climbing and terrified by exposure. How do I start to rebuild my confidence?


About 15 months ago, I had a nasty (unroped) fall in Spain... The next 7 or 8 months, I didn't do any kind of physical activity because it hurt my still healing leg and shoulder too much, I finally picked back up with canoeing, walking and indoor climbing, but found my inevitable decrease in fitness (or so I thought) had taken me way backwards in ability across the board.

Fast forward, I've started to do more and it's become apparent that my appetite for risk has changed, and even easy scrambly(ish) ridgelines with an exaggerated appearance of exposure terrify me (e.g. Chrome hill & Parkhouse hill).

Thinking logically, I actually think that fear, even in safe(ish) situations has paralysed my climbing (it's now a very good day if I'll dare lead a 5 indoors, usually I'm nervy on a toprope; and my trad gear is languishing in a cupboard), more than strength/fitness loss and/or weight gain would explain .

I want to do something about it, but I don't really know what *to* do in order to rebuild my confidence and learn to deal with exposure again.

In reply to KellyKettle:

Sounds like a nasty fall! Sorry to hear about that.

I think it's normal to feel that when you are unroped. For me personally the more time I spent roped even on overhanging sport climbs, the more exposed and scared I feel on exposed ridgy scrambles where I know falling off is a bad idea. Similar stuff happens to everyone I guess.

How to beat the irrational feeling though when you knoe you are safe... Baby steps. I'd go up a lead wall and take some falls on a slack top rope. Then when confident with that I'd take a few with the bolt at shoulder level, then at chest level etc. Have a read through Dave Macleod's blog and book. I'd just work on this firstly indoors and I reckon your enjoyment will quickly restore to previous levels.
Good luck and enjoy!

In reply to KellyKettle:

How are you dealing with falling off when top roping? Get used to that first, then with increasing amounts of slack in the system.

In reply to KellyKettle:

I think this is quite normal after a scare, and an important part of becoming a mature, experienced climber.
Some years ago I was just going for the crux moves on a route in Dartmoor when some guy shouted "erm what route are you on". I totally lost my focus and starting faffing and telling him to wait a minute in typical British style. Next thing I knew I had come off, and was slightly disappointed to note that my top cam broke the flake it was behind, followed by the next small cam ripping to. I was held on the lowest bit of gear but not before I had kicked my belayer in the head, who held on valiantly.

At the time I though nothing of it, but it was the first time gear my gear had failed.

A few weeks later, I set off on a traverse at Gogarth, placing cams as I went. All I could see was the cams ripping as I hurtled towards the sea/rocks below.
About half hour after I had set off on the pitch, I returned to the starting ledge a gibbering wreck, much to the amusement of my partner, who swapped and cruised the pitch.

For me, it took a while to regain confidence, which I did just by leading regularly, and making sure I focused on the climbing, and all the positives, rather than ripping gear.

However, it was a useful lesson for me, that cams, are not always bomber, and it made me take more care and place gear as well as I possibly could.

Since then, I have had at least 3 significant falls, where holds have come off in my hand or feet. In all of them, no gear ripped and they didn't affect my confidence.

I would advise, be aware of the risks, make your choice then once made go for it with full confidence and focus on the climbing.

Hope my experience helps, and enjoy your climbing 😀

In reply to KellyKettle:

The only advice I can offer would be to do something to fall back in love with it all, and give yourself a real positive reason for taking on the fear. I'd suggest that its also important to recognise that your fall was a significant event and that struggling to return to that environment is normal and reasonable. You need to have a partner you trust implicitly, not only technically, but who you know is going to push you just enough yet not too far, and to be happy to abandon your plans and go and eat cake or go for a little walk if you decide thats what needs to happen. My partner is terrified on quite tame terrain if there is the slightest bit of exposure, but is fine with a rope. She needs regular days out in the sun and loveliness to be reminded that it's all about having fun rather than taking on risk. Risk is part of the game but it will destroy all pleasure if fear of it becomes the predominant experience.

I'm struggling with motivation now myself having given climbing a rest during a house renovation, so I feel (am!) unfit, heavy and weak and I've seen way too many accidents to pretend that it can't happen. Our plan is a week in Portland where we can eat ice cream, boulder, clip bolts, watch the sea, and hopefully get some sunshine again.

In reply to KellyKettle:
If the fear doesn't go away with just more climbing then it may be worth reading up a bit about the psychology of fear/trauma may help. Dave Macleod's blog mentions some good tips climbing wise, and I agree with him about positive thinking not being enough. I don't know of a climbing/sport book that would help (hopefully someone will come along and suggest one).

The only book I can (sort of) suggest is http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0070TRCR8/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8... It deals with trauma that is far more serious than a climbing fall but I've found I can adapt the approach to almost anything that worries/scares me.

Even if the above isn't very helpful I'd definitely suggest looking at some sort of sport psychology that doesn't just rely on positive thinking.

Edited to change the link