UKC

...make sure you tell those you love, that you love them. Give them a hug, a kiss, or just that 'special' look that speaks a thousand words.

Give your climbing partners a big hug too, whether they want one or not. Tell them they are what make a 3 star route a 4 star, and a grotty piece of crap in a shity quarry a wonderful memory

Never take them for granted, because in a blink of an eye, they can be gone.

Take time to remember absent friends too. Never forget the sound of their voice or their laughter. Cherish the time they were in your life, however fleeting. Never be ashamed to shed a tear for them, it just shows how much they meant to you, and what can ever be wrong with that?

And don't put off your dreams till tomorrow, grab the buggers by the throat today.

I apologise for this uncharacteristically sentimental and slightly nauseating bollocks, but I've just realised that it's 20 years ago today, since a big part of my climbing life went to that belay in the sky. And even though he was a grade A pain in the arse a lot of the time, I do miss the grumpy git.

We're just two lost souls
swimming in a fish bowl,
year after year,
Running over the same old ground,
and how we found
The same old fear
Wish you were here.

In reply to Goucho:

Good call, it's worth breaking through the English reserve some can still have and saying the important things, even if there's a minute of awkwardness afterwards.

In reply to Timmd:

Quite right gents. I had a dream that my dad died the other week and realised I've never actually told him I love him. I woke up, realised I still had the chance, went round, told him about the dream and said, "so I, er, do love you."

Worth the awkward laughter to have it said.

In reply to Goucho:


+1

My dear father-in-law said: Never say "I'm going do that when I'm retired"

He had a point.

I've tried to live by that however annoying it can sometimes be for those around me and regardless of the see-saw level of finances...

In reply to Danm79:
That's a great story.

I'm glad I've spent since my mid/late twenties (I'm now 36) saying the important things to my family. Took a while to start, but I'm glad.

In reply to Goucho:

It is only now that I am older that I realised I'ed never really been 'touchy feely' with my Dad, and now am making sure my children don't grow up that way, by giving them lots of attention and actually expressing in words my love for them, even though they're in the teenage years! After years of lots unsaid between me and my Dad, it was hard to break the barrier and still is to say anything too deep (makes him uncomfortable, and me too!).

In reply to RX-78:
I think my Dad did a similar thing, in referring back to his own childhood once after a few drinks on a family & family friends walking holiday, he said something about how 'You just try and cause less damage than your own parents did'. I think it left a mark on him, as it's taken a little bit of effort on my part to get him to open up in return, to get back from him what I'd like to have. Has been worth it though.

In reply to Timmd:

They f*ck you up, your mum and dad

https://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/64716.Philip_Larkin

In reply to Goucho:

Nicely put mate.

My mother is on her way out, stomach cancer, and there's so much I want to tell her and thank her for.