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Today was a difficult one - bittersweet. On the one hand I was proud to see my daughter start a new chapter of her life at Warwick university, whilst on the other I felt that it was very hard to leave my "little girl" and drive home without her.
I'm quite surprised at how I feel; I thought that I would be fine with it. However, I've found it really hard. I gave her the longest hug, waved to her and then bottled it all up until I got back to the car. Then I cried all the way home.
Jesus. What a Jessie.
Someone tell me that I'll feel better tomorrow.
Post edited at 18:59
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In reply to Morty:
I'd be just the same. I had about a week of grieving when my daughter left primary school.
I'd be just the same. I had about a week of grieving when my daughter left primary school.
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In reply to Morty:
Sadly you won't.... but it does get better slowly.
We had our first go 4 years ago. The motorway in the morning was full of people carriers with duvets stuffed on top of everything and anxious parents in the front and an anxious young adult in the rear. In the evening there was (typically) stoney-faced fathers driving cars that were empty but for a weeping mother in the passenger seat.
We almost got used to it by Christmas, and then did it all again in January.
His sister is now following, so empty nesting is yawning before us.
it's shocking how quickly the years go.
Sadly you won't.... but it does get better slowly.
We had our first go 4 years ago. The motorway in the morning was full of people carriers with duvets stuffed on top of everything and anxious parents in the front and an anxious young adult in the rear. In the evening there was (typically) stoney-faced fathers driving cars that were empty but for a weeping mother in the passenger seat.
We almost got used to it by Christmas, and then did it all again in January.
His sister is now following, so empty nesting is yawning before us.
it's shocking how quickly the years go.
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In reply to Morty:
My sister said it felt like she'd taken her little piggy to slaughter, but then she's a bit odd
My sister said it felt like she'd taken her little piggy to slaughter, but then she's a bit odd
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In reply to JJL:
>In the evening there was (typically) stoney-faced fathers driving cars that were empty but for a weeping mother in the passenger seat.
I managed to swing between stoney-faced and weeping all the way home.
Her mother can take her next time and I'll stay at home and get pissed.
It's hard to convey the truth of this in words. If I could tell my younger self what I know (and feel) now he'd never believe me!
> Sadly you won't.... but it does get better slowly.
>In the evening there was (typically) stoney-faced fathers driving cars that were empty but for a weeping mother in the passenger seat.
I managed to swing between stoney-faced and weeping all the way home.
> We almost got used to it by Christmas, and then did it all again in January.
Her mother can take her next time and I'll stay at home and get pissed.
> it's shocking how quickly the years go.
It's hard to convey the truth of this in words. If I could tell my younger self what I know (and feel) now he'd never believe me!
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In reply to Morty:
At least you can be pretty confident your daughter knows you love her? It's not anything I've dealt with, but nice/loving parents tend to have children who come back to them, and go and come back - ie maintain a relationship which changes over time.
> However, I've found it really hard. I gave her the longest hug...
At least you can be pretty confident your daughter knows you love her? It's not anything I've dealt with, but nice/loving parents tend to have children who come back to them, and go and come back - ie maintain a relationship which changes over time.
Post edited at 19:18
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In reply to Timmd:
You've set me off again...
> At least you can be pretty confident your daughter knows you love her? It's not anything I've dealt with, but nice/loving parents tend to have children who come back to them, and go and come back - ie maintain a relationship which changes over time.
You've set me off again...
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In reply to Morty: I thought from the title of your post she'd been kidnapped or killed, but it turns out she's simply gone to university. Perhaps Warwick is really dreadful, I don't know. Yes - time to realise she hasn't been your little girl for a good many years and that you now have a wonderful opportunity to live your life with a great deal more freedom - what a wonderful opportunity for you.
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In reply to Morty:
Mines gone back. Love her to bits but thank feck for that !
After a year at uni she has changed a lot and the house dynamics were altered.
There's more space already
Mines gone back. Love her to bits but thank feck for that !
After a year at uni she has changed a lot and the house dynamics were altered.
There's more space already
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1
In reply to Morty:
Go climbing tomorrow and try not to think about how much she will drink over the next week! My mum and dad are great, but I don't remember starting at uni as being anything but a total joy. I'm sure she'll be having a great time.
Go climbing tomorrow and try not to think about how much she will drink over the next week! My mum and dad are great, but I don't remember starting at uni as being anything but a total joy. I'm sure she'll be having a great time.
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In reply to Morty:
Blimey! Once I offload the Num Num children I'll be dancing a jig, clicking my heels and popping the cork on a bottle of Cava.
Blimey! Once I offload the Num Num children I'll be dancing a jig, clicking my heels and popping the cork on a bottle of Cava.
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In reply to Morty:
Dropped my " Baby" a couple of weeks ago for her second year ( but first at Strathclyde Uni ) at the very Student Acommodation that I caroused at thirty years ago before I met her Mum . . . . . Now that was bittersweet . . .
Dropped my " Baby" a couple of weeks ago for her second year ( but first at Strathclyde Uni ) at the very Student Acommodation that I caroused at thirty years ago before I met her Mum . . . . . Now that was bittersweet . . .
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In reply to Morty:
Aye well they grow up become independent and forget about their psrents (for a while). Result
Aye well they grow up become independent and forget about their psrents (for a while). Result
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In reply to Dave the Rave:
And if she's the last one to go, think on the bright side, you get your sex life back, apart from the weekend mornings when they're zonked out in bed. If you've still got the energy that is.
And if she's the last one to go, think on the bright side, you get your sex life back, apart from the weekend mornings when they're zonked out in bed. If you've still got the energy that is.
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In reply to Morty:
I can confirm - it's not just you!
It does get a little easier with time and she will be having the time of her life.
> Cheers - I'm glad it's not just me...
I can confirm - it's not just you!
It does get a little easier with time and she will be having the time of her life.
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In reply to Timmd:
Nicely put Timmd mate.
> At least you can be pretty confident your daughter knows you love her? It's not anything I've dealt with, but nice/loving parents tend to have children who come back to them, and go and come back - ie maintain a relationship which changes over time.
Nicely put Timmd mate.
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In reply to Morty:
I've seen two daughters through uni. Don't worry. They become adults that you love as much as the children that you loved.
You're not the centre of their life but you're still the anchor (especially when they need money!). It's great.
I've seen two daughters through uni. Don't worry. They become adults that you love as much as the children that you loved.
You're not the centre of their life but you're still the anchor (especially when they need money!). It's great.
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In reply to toad:
Dare I ask, which university was that?!
> My sister said it felt like she'd taken her little piggy to slaughter, but then she's a bit odd
Dare I ask, which university was that?!
In reply to Morty:
I cant bloody wait. Im going to put a bar and pool table in her room, and a lock on the door.
I cant bloody wait. Im going to put a bar and pool table in her room, and a lock on the door.
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In reply to Morty:
I work maintaining a lot of student houses and see this every year. Worried caring parents fussing over their little darlings, making sure they've got everything they need, complaining about every last thing wrong with the house etc. As soon as they leave it's party time and all hell breaks loose. She's gone mate
I work maintaining a lot of student houses and see this every year. Worried caring parents fussing over their little darlings, making sure they've got everything they need, complaining about every last thing wrong with the house etc. As soon as they leave it's party time and all hell breaks loose. She's gone mate
Post edited at 10:18
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In reply to Morty:
It's not just you. I took my little lass to Durham on Friday, to start her third year. Electronic communications means that it's not as hard as I thought it would be. As we said goodbye this time she said "we're never really very far apart ".
Breaking the long drive home with a climbing day in the Peak District was a very good idea!
Still two years before the little lad goes; that will be a hard one.
As someone said on UKC a while ago, let go, and they are truly yours they will come back.
It's not just you. I took my little lass to Durham on Friday, to start her third year. Electronic communications means that it's not as hard as I thought it would be. As we said goodbye this time she said "we're never really very far apart ".
Breaking the long drive home with a climbing day in the Peak District was a very good idea!
Still two years before the little lad goes; that will be a hard one.
As someone said on UKC a while ago, let go, and they are truly yours they will come back.
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In reply to Morty:
Our two lads went off together, which wasn't so bad - we could have done without the effing catastrophic car crash on the way there, which complicated the logistics of getting one to Bristol and one to Exeter no end.
When the youngest went two years later, my wife was distraught. She couldn't cope with open bedroom doors upstairs at all.
It took about three months to get used to it, and then three months later the first one came back (the other buggered off to the US, and came back a year later, bringing a useless tart with him. Fortunately, she's gone back to Florida and with a bit of luck someone will feed her to the alligators, but she's so bitter they'd spit her out. But I digress.)
You'll get used to it, you'll enjoy the extra space, and then probably have to get used to them coming back again, maybe more considerate, maybe not. All you can do is remember that you did all that you could to prepare them for this day. I'm sure you did a fine job.
We've got two out of the three in residence again, for the foreseeable future
Our two lads went off together, which wasn't so bad - we could have done without the effing catastrophic car crash on the way there, which complicated the logistics of getting one to Bristol and one to Exeter no end.
When the youngest went two years later, my wife was distraught. She couldn't cope with open bedroom doors upstairs at all.
It took about three months to get used to it, and then three months later the first one came back (the other buggered off to the US, and came back a year later, bringing a useless tart with him. Fortunately, she's gone back to Florida and with a bit of luck someone will feed her to the alligators, but she's so bitter they'd spit her out. But I digress.)
You'll get used to it, you'll enjoy the extra space, and then probably have to get used to them coming back again, maybe more considerate, maybe not. All you can do is remember that you did all that you could to prepare them for this day. I'm sure you did a fine job.
We've got two out of the three in residence again, for the foreseeable future
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In reply to Morty:
Thanks to everyone who replied. I'm feeling rather more stoic today. She's loving it by the sound of things.
Thanks to everyone who replied. I'm feeling rather more stoic today. She's loving it by the sound of things.
In reply to Morty:
In the days before t'internet and mobile phones I recall using the pay phone ( remember those) once a term to say to my my mum" I'm alive".Even them I struggled to remember to do this.
With mobile phones its so much easier to keep in touch. My eldest in final year and every few days she " sits" with us on the kitchen table via an ipad as we both have tea.( one of the great pleasures we have seen as how are daughter who never did any house work , is now cooking etc and very grown up in respect of managing budgets etc)I laugh deep down at this as my wife banned mobile phones in the kitchen.Yet she was quick to waive this to keep in touch with her.
In the days before t'internet and mobile phones I recall using the pay phone ( remember those) once a term to say to my my mum" I'm alive".Even them I struggled to remember to do this.
With mobile phones its so much easier to keep in touch. My eldest in final year and every few days she " sits" with us on the kitchen table via an ipad as we both have tea.( one of the great pleasures we have seen as how are daughter who never did any house work , is now cooking etc and very grown up in respect of managing budgets etc)I laugh deep down at this as my wife banned mobile phones in the kitchen.Yet she was quick to waive this to keep in touch with her.
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In reply to birdie num num:
I agree with you, they should think they are lucky to have the freedom , my youngest went to Uni, graduated, got a job and is STILL lives with me and to top that she also brought back a boyfriend who now lives with us( as he teaches at our local school and his parents house is too far to travel)
(Edit apparently they are saving for a house !)
> Blimey! Once I offload the Num Num children I'll be dancing a jig, clicking my heels and popping the cork on a bottle of Cava.
I agree with you, they should think they are lucky to have the freedom , my youngest went to Uni, graduated, got a job and is STILL lives with me and to top that she also brought back a boyfriend who now lives with us( as he teaches at our local school and his parents house is too far to travel)
(Edit apparently they are saving for a house !)
Post edited at 12:16
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In reply to Morty:
Dropped mine off at Lancaster for her first year yesterday, so feel your pain. I think you summed it up nicely, happy and sad feelings, but it was a bit heart wrenching seeing her bedroom door open this morning when I got up.
Good luck.....
Dropped mine off at Lancaster for her first year yesterday, so feel your pain. I think you summed it up nicely, happy and sad feelings, but it was a bit heart wrenching seeing her bedroom door open this morning when I got up.
Good luck.....
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In reply to Morty:
Oh and the other thing is that you'll look at the other half and say'What do we do now?' You have to learn a whole new relationship without the kids. That takes some getting used to as well
Oh and the other thing is that you'll look at the other half and say'What do we do now?' You have to learn a whole new relationship without the kids. That takes some getting used to as well
In reply to Morty:
oh it's a toughy!
I couldn't get what all the fuss was about when I walked out the door at sixteen and rang my mum once every six months, so in a way when my wee ones started to flit the nest it felt like the karmic cycle had turned full circle....strangely it has brought me much closer to my mum...text her every day now!
As for missing my girls, well the pain don't go away but I would carry that around any day than an empty heart.
When me wee boy goes, thinks will have to get me a dog and disappear to the hills for a decade....
oh it's a toughy!
I couldn't get what all the fuss was about when I walked out the door at sixteen and rang my mum once every six months, so in a way when my wee ones started to flit the nest it felt like the karmic cycle had turned full circle....strangely it has brought me much closer to my mum...text her every day now!
As for missing my girls, well the pain don't go away but I would carry that around any day than an empty heart.
When me wee boy goes, thinks will have to get me a dog and disappear to the hills for a decade....
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In reply to Morty:
I don't have kids and I'm not really bothered about them, and I'm only 26 so could be talking rubbish, but why is it so sad? Surely it's better they go out into the world than hang about living with parents? My mum seemed a bit upset when she dropped me off at uni, she says the house felt quiet and lonely, but I'm sure she'd be far from happy about it if I still lived at home in my early 20's, maybe the grass is always greener? Or do people realize that but still feel sad that they aren't hanging around with their kids all the time?
I don't have kids and I'm not really bothered about them, and I'm only 26 so could be talking rubbish, but why is it so sad? Surely it's better they go out into the world than hang about living with parents? My mum seemed a bit upset when she dropped me off at uni, she says the house felt quiet and lonely, but I'm sure she'd be far from happy about it if I still lived at home in my early 20's, maybe the grass is always greener? Or do people realize that but still feel sad that they aren't hanging around with their kids all the time?
In reply to Morty:
I may be alone in this but when I did the drop off last weekend I breathed a massive sigh of relief and came home super happy to an empty house.
And when I came back from climbing yesterday the house was still clean - in fact it was exactly as I left it. No longer a complete mess hastily cleaned up after 6 teenage boys had spent all weekend in it. No more endless trips to the supermarket to buy industrial quantities of food.
Perhaps boys are different, but after going from a house of 3 to a house of 1 in 12 months I just feel....great really
Having been a single parent for 10 years its time to start living for me for a change and I can't wait.
Kalymnos here I come....
I may be alone in this but when I did the drop off last weekend I breathed a massive sigh of relief and came home super happy to an empty house.
And when I came back from climbing yesterday the house was still clean - in fact it was exactly as I left it. No longer a complete mess hastily cleaned up after 6 teenage boys had spent all weekend in it. No more endless trips to the supermarket to buy industrial quantities of food.
Perhaps boys are different, but after going from a house of 3 to a house of 1 in 12 months I just feel....great really
Having been a single parent for 10 years its time to start living for me for a change and I can't wait.
Kalymnos here I come....
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In reply to Red Rover:
We all know that! We know it's good that they go, we don't want them to hang around with us for the rest of their lives, we want them to have the freedom we enjoyed at their age and make their own way in life. Course we know. It's just that that separation, good and right as it is, is a loss. Evolution has made us as parents hugely fond of our children, but evolution has not bothered to make parents unbothered when it's time for them to leave.
And I prefer it that way. I remember looking at my daughter when she was a baby and suddenly realising how much I loved her, jeart and soul, head over heels, utterly enslaved. It's all a bit more steady and rational nowadays but I wouldn't want to not miss her. This is all good.
We all know that! We know it's good that they go, we don't want them to hang around with us for the rest of their lives, we want them to have the freedom we enjoyed at their age and make their own way in life. Course we know. It's just that that separation, good and right as it is, is a loss. Evolution has made us as parents hugely fond of our children, but evolution has not bothered to make parents unbothered when it's time for them to leave.
And I prefer it that way. I remember looking at my daughter when she was a baby and suddenly realising how much I loved her, jeart and soul, head over heels, utterly enslaved. It's all a bit more steady and rational nowadays but I wouldn't want to not miss her. This is all good.
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In reply to Morty:
For those of us from a different place looking in on this "Happy Family" stuff is like looking in to a parallel universe. Enjoy.
For those of us from a different place looking in on this "Happy Family" stuff is like looking in to a parallel universe. Enjoy.
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In reply to ian caton:
Thank you. It had occurred to me that there might well be people for whom all this would seem a bit insensitive and self-indulgent. I think those of us suffering an empty bedroom at the start of term are aware that we are very lucky to have something precious to miss.
> For those of us from a different place looking in on this "Happy Family" stuff is like looking in to a parallel universe. Enjoy.
Thank you. It had occurred to me that there might well be people for whom all this would seem a bit insensitive and self-indulgent. I think those of us suffering an empty bedroom at the start of term are aware that we are very lucky to have something precious to miss.
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In reply to Morty:
Welcome to the club, house is almost empty now both girls have gone. Just a few weeks to Christmas break!
CB
Welcome to the club, house is almost empty now both girls have gone. Just a few weeks to Christmas break!
CB
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In reply to Morty:
I transported our son to Sheffield two weeks ago for his first year. He seems to have settled in well (athough he hasn't joined the climbing club!) having found must of the local pubs and working out where to buy the cheapest food. He is completely in his element and even has good things to say about the course and the people he is sharing the apartment with. Mind you, he wouldn't admit to us if he was missing home anyway! I was really happy for him when I drove away - the campus looked great in the summer sunshine and I knew he was really looking forward to his new life as a grown-up.
I returned home and spent three days fumigating his bedroom and decorating it. At least the house is clean and tidy again :o
I transported our son to Sheffield two weeks ago for his first year. He seems to have settled in well (athough he hasn't joined the climbing club!) having found must of the local pubs and working out where to buy the cheapest food. He is completely in his element and even has good things to say about the course and the people he is sharing the apartment with. Mind you, he wouldn't admit to us if he was missing home anyway! I was really happy for him when I drove away - the campus looked great in the summer sunshine and I knew he was really looking forward to his new life as a grown-up.
I returned home and spent three days fumigating his bedroom and decorating it. At least the house is clean and tidy again :o
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In reply to Morty:
I dropped my son off at Durham over the weekend for his first year away. Missing him as well but I worry more for his sister, who has had her big brother around all her life and now he is gone away. Luckily we had a trial run over the summer when the two of them went off with the Scouts for 3 weeks and it was just my wife and I. We had a great time! Worse thing is how the time has flown, we had a million plans to do things as a family and its probably too late for many of these things, the last few years just flew by thanks to A levels etc. Still I am sure he will be back for a ski trip or two in the future.
I dropped my son off at Durham over the weekend for his first year away. Missing him as well but I worry more for his sister, who has had her big brother around all her life and now he is gone away. Luckily we had a trial run over the summer when the two of them went off with the Scouts for 3 weeks and it was just my wife and I. We had a great time! Worse thing is how the time has flown, we had a million plans to do things as a family and its probably too late for many of these things, the last few years just flew by thanks to A levels etc. Still I am sure he will be back for a ski trip or two in the future.
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In reply to RX-78:
If their scout/explorer unit are half decent they'll have learnt all the things they need to make the most of uni life (cooking, self-reliance, discipline etc.) and will be fine .
> the two of them went off with the Scouts for 3 weeks
If their scout/explorer unit are half decent they'll have learnt all the things they need to make the most of uni life (cooking, self-reliance, discipline etc.) and will be fine .
In reply to Morty:
Stood in my daughter's bedroom and cried like it was 1959. Gone! Gone! Gone!
Have you seen Toy Story 3? Apparently grown men cried in the cinema at the end of that film.
Same theme; as old as humanity.
Ubi sunt? Ou sont les neige d'antan?
Where have all the flowers gone?etc
Funny how there's community in that...
Stood in my daughter's bedroom and cried like it was 1959. Gone! Gone! Gone!
Have you seen Toy Story 3? Apparently grown men cried in the cinema at the end of that film.
Same theme; as old as humanity.
Ubi sunt? Ou sont les neige d'antan?
Where have all the flowers gone?etc
Funny how there's community in that...
3
In reply to ian caton:
Absolutely. One of the reasons I've ended up not (yet.....) having any children is the thought that I'd then have to wait 18 years until they buggered off and left me joyfully free to go climbing again. But maybe I'm missing something?
> For those of us from a different place looking in on this "Happy Family" stuff is like looking in to a parallel universe.
Absolutely. One of the reasons I've ended up not (yet.....) having any children is the thought that I'd then have to wait 18 years until they buggered off and left me joyfully free to go climbing again. But maybe I'm missing something?
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In reply to Robert Durran:
I think you've misunderstood Robert, having a child doesn't mean you give things up for 18 years (or become a taxi driver for the last 14 of those 18).
I dropped my daughter off at Manchester Uni for the first time two weeks ago. She is confident and looking forward to the new adventure. Part of the reason she is so confident is that in her short life so far she's been trekking in Nepal, where she celebrated her 10th birthday; trekking with mules around Toubkal in Morocco; trekking with camels in the sahara in Morocco; trekking and diving in Jordan; climbing via ferrata on a hut-to-hut tour in the Dolomites; walked the Tour du Mont Blanc; done a hut-to-hut tour in the Picos de Europa, as well as several centre based summer holidays in the French and Austrian Alps, plus several seasons skiing.
Luckily I got to do all those trips too, plus other trips on my own behalf to Ecuador, Mongolia, the Alps etc.
Life is certainly not put on hold for 18 years when you have a child!
I think you've misunderstood Robert, having a child doesn't mean you give things up for 18 years (or become a taxi driver for the last 14 of those 18).
I dropped my daughter off at Manchester Uni for the first time two weeks ago. She is confident and looking forward to the new adventure. Part of the reason she is so confident is that in her short life so far she's been trekking in Nepal, where she celebrated her 10th birthday; trekking with mules around Toubkal in Morocco; trekking with camels in the sahara in Morocco; trekking and diving in Jordan; climbing via ferrata on a hut-to-hut tour in the Dolomites; walked the Tour du Mont Blanc; done a hut-to-hut tour in the Picos de Europa, as well as several centre based summer holidays in the French and Austrian Alps, plus several seasons skiing.
Luckily I got to do all those trips too, plus other trips on my own behalf to Ecuador, Mongolia, the Alps etc.
Life is certainly not put on hold for 18 years when you have a child!
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In reply to BobtheBagger:
Well I was being a bit tongue in cheek. But it is interesting to see how trying to maintain one's climbing works out for people with children. I know people, previously dedicated climbers, who end up doing all but nothing and, much as they love their families, are clearly living in an almost continuous state of frustration, while others such as yourself have managed to find a way of doing loads of stuff - I know excellent examples of both. Obviously it involves a lot of compromise and adaptation, but seems to very much depend on the relationship and the partner; some people just don't seem to be "allowed out", while others, usually, it seems, with a like minded partner, sort out extraordinarily good arrangements for all involved. I've just never (yet.....) found myself in a position where that seemed a viable option or possible.
> I think you've misunderstood........
Well I was being a bit tongue in cheek. But it is interesting to see how trying to maintain one's climbing works out for people with children. I know people, previously dedicated climbers, who end up doing all but nothing and, much as they love their families, are clearly living in an almost continuous state of frustration, while others such as yourself have managed to find a way of doing loads of stuff - I know excellent examples of both. Obviously it involves a lot of compromise and adaptation, but seems to very much depend on the relationship and the partner; some people just don't seem to be "allowed out", while others, usually, it seems, with a like minded partner, sort out extraordinarily good arrangements for all involved. I've just never (yet.....) found myself in a position where that seemed a viable option or possible.
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In reply to Dave Garnett:
Agreed
> Thank you. It had occurred to me that there might well be people for whom all this would seem a bit insensitive and self-indulgent. I think those of us suffering an empty bedroom at the start of term are aware that we are very lucky to have something precious to miss.
Agreed
1
In reply to Robert Durran:
Not really. I get my time off, but I see friends in childless relations that are completely under the cosh (No you may not go climbing today, don´t you see I have a cold...). It is not having kids, or eventually your kids leaving, it is how your relation works.
Introducing your kids to the outdoor life is a great part of being a parent. My youngest kid was six years old when he walked 150km through Sarek NP, about as far as you can escape from civilization in Western Europe. My girls have both don 4k peaks in the alps, and we are planning a holiday together next year when we will leave my wife (a hiker but not climber) behind for some proper stuff!
CB
Not really. I get my time off, but I see friends in childless relations that are completely under the cosh (No you may not go climbing today, don´t you see I have a cold...). It is not having kids, or eventually your kids leaving, it is how your relation works.
Introducing your kids to the outdoor life is a great part of being a parent. My youngest kid was six years old when he walked 150km through Sarek NP, about as far as you can escape from civilization in Western Europe. My girls have both don 4k peaks in the alps, and we are planning a holiday together next year when we will leave my wife (a hiker but not climber) behind for some proper stuff!
CB
4
In reply to cb294:
I agree with all that.
> Not really. I get my time off, but I see friends in childless relations that are completely under the cosh (No you may not go climbing today, don´t you see I have a cold...). It is not having kids, or eventually your kids leaving, it is how your relation works.
I agree with all that.
3
In reply to Morty:
They all get in touch when they want a sympathetic ear/ the washing done / cash. Then you build the new relationship.
They all get in touch when they want a sympathetic ear/ the washing done / cash. Then you build the new relationship.
2
In reply to Morty:
This made me cry when my first daughter left, even though she wasn't going to be away for Christmas:
youtube.com/watch?v=fCNvZqpa-7Q&
It was a big adjustment. Now, years later, they've all gone but I see plenty of them and have got used to it somewhat.
This made me cry when my first daughter left, even though she wasn't going to be away for Christmas:
youtube.com/watch?v=fCNvZqpa-7Q&
It was a big adjustment. Now, years later, they've all gone but I see plenty of them and have got used to it somewhat.
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In reply to Siward:
Ouch.
A beautiful song. But I see what you mean.
sniff.
> This made me cry when my first daughter left, even though she wasn't going to be away for Christmas:
> It was a big adjustment. Now, years later, they've all gone but I see plenty of them and have got used to it somewhat.
Ouch.
A beautiful song. But I see what you mean.
sniff.
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In reply to Graham Booth:
You must have a weak stomach. Or maybe you are just having a bad day. Come back another day and read it - you may have a different perspective.
See you next Tuesday.
> What a vomit inducing thread....
You must have a weak stomach. Or maybe you are just having a bad day. Come back another day and read it - you may have a different perspective.
See you next Tuesday.
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In reply to Morty:
Good practice for when they start a job....that hit me much more than leaving them at uni but when you still know they're still just at school really. But, it's a thing to celebrate.
Good practice for when they start a job....that hit me much more than leaving them at uni but when you still know they're still just at school really. But, it's a thing to celebrate.
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In reply to Graham Booth:
No problem - we all have them.
Hope that whatever was pissing you off has pissed off.
> Yeh bad day! Apols
No problem - we all have them.
Hope that whatever was pissing you off has pissed off.
In reply to Graham Booth:
Pretty much like the average fresher's experience then...
> What a vomit inducing thread....
Pretty much like the average fresher's experience then...
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In reply to Morty:
Well not at work in Newcastle anymore so everyone's a winner!
Sure your daughter will have an amazing time at uni
Well not at work in Newcastle anymore so everyone's a winner!
Sure your daughter will have an amazing time at uni
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In reply to Morty:
First week just about done, now. Has she got Freshers' Flu yet? All three of ours got that - coughing and spluttering for weeks along with the rest of them.
Don't let her come home for a few weeks yet - the ones that do always seem to make heavier weather of it. Be prepared for the laundry when she does come home (and the replenishment of provisions at the supermarket). Sainsbury's used to do a student card for groceries, which parents could load with money and which could also have restrictions placed on it (no alcohol for example).
First week just about done, now. Has she got Freshers' Flu yet? All three of ours got that - coughing and spluttering for weeks along with the rest of them.
Don't let her come home for a few weeks yet - the ones that do always seem to make heavier weather of it. Be prepared for the laundry when she does come home (and the replenishment of provisions at the supermarket). Sainsbury's used to do a student card for groceries, which parents could load with money and which could also have restrictions placed on it (no alcohol for example).
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In reply to nniff:
And if she does come home make sure she goes back again! Homesickness does wear off...
And if she does come home make sure she goes back again! Homesickness does wear off...
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