In reply to Pesda potato:
Sometimes I think there can be learnt ways of behaving and thinking, as a way of surviving/adapting to our past circumstances (unbringing/friends during our formative years/avoiding certain emotional areas), which can affect how easily we can relate to other people, and meet their emotional needs or what it is they want from us.
Which is possibly something which is too deep to go into on this thread (?), but as I've gone through the quite long process of being more in touch with myself, I've found it easier to 'tune in' to other people (or it feels easier at least).
A relative seems to have some sort of 'shell' of not expressing themselves particularly, while also being quite aware of other people, which can make them seem a little bit cold at times, when they're actually not. It can seem like they're just sheltering within their shell of not expressing themselves very much, perhaps due to their 'very English' parents, and not been very close to them too.
It might be that you need to leave your inner comfort zone as it were, to make sure that people know that you know what's going on with them? I can sometimes be happier just to potter about as it were and not engage particularly, in finding it tiring to engage with people, but empathy seems to be about acting upon what you see in other people (as well as seeing it).
Being human seems quite complex and tiring sometimes, I wouldn't be too hard on yourself...
Post edited at 22:58