/ Dilema

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FesteringSore - on 21 Nov 2016
A friend of mine who I have known for about forty years has been having chemo for stomach cancer. She lives by herself two hundred odd miles away in London. I've been phoning her almost every week for a chat and to see how she is.
I phoned a couple of times last week and the week before - no reply. I tried again today - still no reply and I'm beginning to wonder if she's OK. Trouble is I don't know any of her neighbours or family to contact.
Any ideas?
idiotproof (Buxton MC) - on 21 Nov 2016
In reply to FesteringSore:
Call to Macmillan in London may give some leads... someone to check if she is OK maybe?
Post edited at 19:19
FesteringSore - on 21 Nov 2016
In reply to idiotproof (Buxton MC):

> Call to Macmillan in London may give some leads... someone to check if she is OK maybe?

Thanks, good idea.
The Lemming - on 21 Nov 2016
In reply to FesteringSore:

Call to plod on their non emergency phone number.

Concern for a friend, welfare check sort of thing.
Indy - on 21 Nov 2016
In reply to FesteringSore:

> I've been phoning her almost every week for a chat

Hmmmm
31
FesteringSore - on 21 Nov 2016
In reply to Indy:
I do not understand the significance of your comment
Perhaps you'd care to enlighten me.
Post edited at 21:23
abseil on 21 Nov 2016
In reply to FesteringSore:

> .....Any ideas?

You can call the police and ask them to conduct a welfare check.

Good luck and I hope your friend is all right.
Timmd on 21 Nov 2016
In reply to FesteringSore:
> I do not understand the significance of your comment

> Perhaps you'd care to enlighten me.

It could seem to be lacking somewhat in tact and diplomacy.

I too hope your friend is alright.


Post edited at 22:11
marsbar - on 21 Nov 2016
In reply to FesteringSore:

She may be in hospital? I hope she is ok, as already said you can call the non emergency number for a safe and well check if you still can't get hold of her. 020 7230 1212
FesteringSore - on 21 Nov 2016
In reply to Timmd:

> It could seem to be lacking somewhat in tact and diplomacy.

As I suspected!
NeilMac - on 21 Nov 2016
In reply to FesteringSore:

Sorry if it's stating the obvious but what about contacting the place she was being treated?

Or, "old school" send a postcard with your phone number explaining your concern - anyone picking up mail can read it without really feeling like they've invaded her privacy (by opening a letter) and maybe get back to you.

Best wishes to you and your friend.
jkarran - on 21 Nov 2016
In reply to Indy:

Wtf is wrong with you?
1
Indy - on 21 Nov 2016
In reply to FesteringSore:

> I do not understand the significance of your comment

> Perhaps you'd care to enlighten me.

Maybe they don't want to talk?
10
Timmd on 21 Nov 2016
In reply to Indy:
> Maybe they don't want to talk?

I'm thinking it's not implausible that they'd be able to communicate about wanting a little bit of space - having known one another for so long?

I wasn't sure if you were implying she might have died, or that he maybe 'had a thing' for her.
Post edited at 23:11
Indy - on 21 Nov 2016
In reply to jkarran:
I'm guessing that having cancer and going through chemo is shit and that maybe the top priority isn't keeping a no doubt well meaning but needy friend up to date or would you prefer the cancer sufferer to say "fu*k off and leave me alone"
Post edited at 23:31
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Timmd on 22 Nov 2016
In reply to Indy:
> I'm guessing that having cancer and going through chemo is shit and that maybe the top priority isn't keeping a no doubt well meaning but needy friend up to date or would you prefer the cancer sufferer to say "fu*k off and leave me alone"

Unless she's been asking him to ring? You haven't checked, and the OP seems just to be after some way of finding out what's happening.

Maybe losing what feels like a lot of people to cancer has left a mark, but I wouldn't think it's hard to be civil (and a little bit delicate) given the sad topic.
Post edited at 00:25
m0unt41n on 22 Nov 2016
In reply to Indy:
Don't agree. I have 4th stage and in Chemo and grateful when friends call round or ring to keep contact otherwise you feel you are slowly loosing your previous life.

You find people often embarrassed or find it difficult to know what to say which is why many reluctant to keep in contact.

My wife and children and family all now ignore the cancer and we carry on as before as do a lot of my really good friends.

Edit:
To OP
So well done for keeping up the contact.
Post edited at 05:29
FesteringSore - on 24 Nov 2016
In reply to All :

Pleased to say that I managed to contact my friend today. She had been out of touch for reasons I'm unable to mention here but her treatment seems to be going ok.

Thanks to those who offered advice and comfort.

abseil on 24 Nov 2016
In reply to FesteringSore:

> Pleased to say that I managed to contact my friend today. She had been out of touch for reasons I'm unable to mention here but her treatment seems to be going ok... Thanks to those who offered advice and comfort.

That's great to hear, thanks for posting that.
marsbar - on 24 Nov 2016
In reply to FesteringSore:

Pleased to hear this
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marsbar - on 24 Nov 2016
In reply to Indy:

Thanks for explaining.

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