There are many classic routes around the country which provide enjoyment and fun to many. There are many classic ticklists listing these routes. Those who travel the country ticking away happily will have much merriment and laughter as they collect star after star.

I propose a different sort of ticklist... one for the dark deviants among us who prefer a bit of suffering. There should a moment of reflection at the bottom of each route ('oh god, why are we even here'). The route itself should pass as a slow, possibly never-ending horror. It is not enough that the climbing is unpleasant, or difficult, but there should be additional factors - a lengthy walk in, diving into and out of the bowels of the Earth, wetness and general disgustingness, the possibiility of being attacked by the native wildlife etc...

It should also take ideally many hours to complete; easy escape should not be an option, as you slowly contemplate all your bad choices that have led you to this place. The climbing itself should be of a fairly low grade, although being a massive sandbag is all part of the fun.

Finally, once completed, you should immediately realise that the adventure was fantastic. Extra points are awarded if none of your companions agree (permanent mental scarring is encouraged).

Rules:
UK only!
Generally sub-E1 routes.
No sport routes.