UKC Regulars Full Stottie and NWClimber have teamed up to make a start on a new climbing dictionary, inspired by the Washington Post's Style Invitational and "I'm sorry I haven't a clue" Uxbridge British Dictionary.

UKC readers are invited to release their creativity and contribute their additions to the growing lexicon needed by the thousands of people taking up this fine healthy pursuit.

Rules: Either offer a new climbing-related definition of an existing word, or a new definition of a climbing term. You can change or add or take away a letter.

Absheiling: when stomach muscles are greeted by a Teutonic friend

Aiding: a single ding

Aiguille: just the one Guille

Alpianist: high altitude keyboard player

Alpine: wishing you were in Chamonix

Ambivilence: not caring where one sleeps outside

Arêête: (Geordie Sl.) climb when ready

Ascendeur: an American climber

Avoid: don't look down

Belaytedly: failing to notice one's partner has fallen off

Bolt runner: protection you sprint to clip

Bossigran: overbearing old woman

Bouldering: very large engagement token

Bouldering Mat: non-shiny engagement token

Boweline: when tied properly, prevents embarrassment in nervous leaders

Brocken spectre: badger examiner

Buoux: (Eng pronunciation) a sudden fright for a child

Buoux: (Fr pronunciation) things to read

Buttressed: place to sit

Camalot: excessive use of friends

Campuss Board: getting tired of placing friend 0.5 into ex-boyfriend's cat

Campussing: kerb crawling near a university

Carabeaner: snaplink with a woolly hat

Chim-chimenee chim-chimenee: nervousness when confronted with a very wide crack

Choss: game played in limestone quarries

Clipstick: makeup accessory for very short female sports climbers

Cornice: wow! lovely snow

Couloir: fashionable wah

Crappons: sharply-pointed put-downs

Crevasse: obligatory neck-wear at Alpine Club luncheons

Crimp: short for crimpanzee

Dibona: internationally famous Italian alpine fish-filleter

Diedre: Deirdre spelt wrong

Dihedral: rock feature named after girlfriend

Dollymite: weighing up chances with Ms Parton

Dropsy: disease suffered by some spotters

Dynoing: passing away with great awareness

Enchainement: getting tied down intentionally

Ethics: ignored by every climber; borders Thuffolk

Frigate: very drunk knot

Front pointing: jockeying to go second

Glitzading: winter descent wearing sequins/celebrity snowsliding

Grappelling: going down fighting

Guide books: reading material for the blind

Gullyble: easily persuaded into ascending or descending a slippery fissure

Half-hitched: nearly married

Handjam: spreading preserve without a knife

Hanging Belay: stay of execution

Harness: female royalty

Kalymity: a disaster in Greece - e.g. missing a ferry

Kermmitting move: action requiring the courage of a muppet

Knee bar: night out with Scottish Temperance Society Mountaineering Club

Ledger: someone who occupies a stance for too long

Limescale: climbing on carboniferous rock

Maillon (Fr): question leader asks second before starting to climb

Mantelshelf: ledge to rest your nick-nacks on

Misstake: female climber pushing her grades

Mistle thrutch: whistling tunefully while rocketing up a chimney

Mixed climbing: boys and girls climbing together

MOAC: tribe of dyslexic North American Indians

Moelwyns: race result in Tales of the Riverbank

Mono-doigt: a finger placement before stereo

Mountrains: rack and pinion railways

Octobus: the number 8 bus

Oedibus: catching the same bus as your Mum

Overhang: an execution that should have taken less time

Patagoniad: (gentle) check made by climber (male) after long fall

Pembroke: Pem waiting to be fixed

Pink-pointing: overt homophobia

Pitoon: target of purists' saliva

Pomegranate: (Aus) Bosigran , Arran etc

Poseition: section of difficult route with large hidden holds

Prana: carnivorous fish; feeds off gullible climbers

Prima Faecies: first climber to crap themselves on a route

Pro-tection: getting paid for placing nuts

Proxymoron: victim of sandbagging

Prussik: Prudence is unwell

Rebuffed: refused entry for wearing ghastly fair isle knitwear, red socks and big boots

Retrobolting: running away whilst wearing flares

Runner: immobile protection

Rhyolite: fat-free Rhyo

Rockies: little rocks for doing climby-wimey

Rockover: staying the night under a friend's boulder

Rock over (US): Elvis has left the building

Sandbag: correctly identifying a lost ladies item

Sarchasm: large gap between belayer's comments and a leader who doesn't get it

Shaemorrhoid: anal prolapsed varicose vein visible from below when climbing in shorts

Shockstone: uncomfortably close rockfall

Shopper knot: tight rein on finances (NB rarely effective in the premises of outdoor equipment
retailers)

Side pull: asking the person next to you at the wall for a date

Sit-start: sequence of moves after reaching the crag from the car

Slate: closing time

Slowper: a hand gradually sliding off a rounded hold

Snowdon: end of winter

Snowdonia: end of winter in your locality

Spindthrift: recklessly wasting snow

St. Ledger: vicar occupying stance for too long

Stannington Ruffs: inhabitants of a no-go area near Sheffield

Sustained: spotted by Sue

Testiculating: waving arms wildly at the bottom of the crag and talking bollocks

Topo: Spiffing

Top-rope: see tow-rope

Tow-rope: see top-rope

Torquemada (Sp): obsession with ice axes

Torquing: speaking with posh accent in winter

Tougha: hard to climb calcified rock formation

Tyroliain: Scotsman living in Austria

Undercling: not holding on long enough

Undercut: not yet drunk

Understanding: belaying from the bottom of a cliff

Welsh Slate: Sean Connery noting its after closing time

Whether forecast: discussion on a climber's likelihood of success

Wilton: NW climber lacking liquid refreshment

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