UKC

So I was in Fort Bill over the weekend, the weather was lousy and there was a need for some entertainment so I popped into one of the charity shops to see what I could find...

What I found was a shelf containing a number of films starring Don "The Dragon" Wilson, who was apparently "Arguably the greatest kick boxer of all time". I love bad movies, but my willingness to inflict pain on myself is limited so I decided to restrict myself to one film. After a certain amount of agonising I selected...

"Cyber Tracker" - a tale about computerised justice and robotic actors playing humvee driving robots who carry rocket launchers in the boot.

It basically involves people being kicked in the face and long, boring firefights with indestructible robots on one side and people with ineffective guns on the other. The film would have been over in about 3 seconds if the robots could aim.

By any decent standards this is a film that should be erased from existence, but I found it hilarious and will almost certainly watch again.

The best bit? Don "The Dragon" has well over 20 films to his name - this could run and run!

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0109515/

In reply to davidbeynon:

I actually bought the famous "Plan 9 from Outer Space" on DVD years ago, supposedly the worst film in history, so bad it's good. Watch it if you ever get the chance, I found it hilarious.

In reply to abseil:

I saw that on TV once. One of the channels was doing an Ed Wood season, probably C4.

His other films were just as bad!

In reply to davidbeynon:

On the off chance you gents have missed it "Iron Sky" is well worth a watch, space nazis and the moon....

In reply to TomBaker:


But that's a good film...

In reply to davidbeynon:

It's no Don The Dragon, but Zombie Strippers could be in the post to you for £3.00 if you're interested.....!

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0960890/

In reply to davidbeynon:






Are you sure it wasn't one of the Matrix sequels in the wrong box?

In reply to Blue Straggler:

If the matrix sequels had a budget of around 50p.

In reply to davidbeynon:

In terms of high-budget films that are so bad that they are good, my vote goes to The Relic
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120004/?ref_=nv_sr_1
Incoherent plot, unimpressive effects despite an obviously substantial budget and some absolutely atrocious acting. What more can you ask for?

In reply to HakanT:

The Relic is great fun! I like the plot contrivance that's specifically designed so that Penelope Ann Miller spends the "action finale" of the film running around in a short black cocktail dress.
I think it had a sense of its own silliness and fun and revelled in its B-movie status.

On the other hand, Mimic was dull and pretentious...I think...I actually can't remember if I've seen it. I am sure I must have done but it was so dull....

In reply to davidbeynon:

Your OP makes me think of "Jaguar Lives!" which I thought would be daft-yet-enjoyable due to the big names in the cast...but ultimately I never even got to the end of it (it is still on my shelf, waiting to be finished off)
THREE former Bond villains, AND a Bond girl!
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0079362/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

In reply to davidbeynon:


I agree, I've seen a couple of them!

In reply to davidbeynon:

May have posted about this before - a gem I found in Oxfam 2 years ago

http://wtf-film.com/site/2010/03/oracle-the/

Actually quite enjoyable (the pulchritude of the lead actress helps in this respect I suppose)

In reply to Blue Straggler:

That looks as though it should have been good on paper.

For me the ultimate bad martial arts film has to be this - "Rage of a Ninja". I used to have it on VHS many years ago, and I feel it is Godfrey Ho's magnum opus.

youtube.com/watch?v=Ou9gsMfp46k&

In reply to TomBaker:

I'll see your Iron Sky (and I agree with Blue Straggler) and raise you 'Blood Storm'

"Ooh, a nazi zombie film that I haven't seen. How can this be?"

"Ahh, crack team of yanks have to infiltrate a fortress of nazi occult scientists. Excellent"

"Hmm, the main nazi protagonists are women"

"Gosh, they had impressive breast implant technology in 1943"


Still well worth the 75p I paid for it in CEX though.

In reply to davidbeynon:

Exorcist II: The Heretic

Inseminoid

In reply to Blue Straggler:

I remember Inseminoid - it was awful. Is exorcist II the one in the hospital, or is that III?

In reply to Blue Straggler:



Inseminoid had the occasional moment of dumb charm. Aquanoids anybody? Truly awful.

In reply to davidbeynon:
That was III.
As I recall, exorcist 2 had something to do with africa and locusts but it was a long time ago so I might well be remembering something else.
As an aside I saw E1 and 2 on a double feature at my local cinema but they were so useless they played the sequel first. DoH!

In reply to Niall:

I agree about Inseminoid. Hell, it managed to make me stay up and watch it when it was on late one night on telly a few years back and I didn't even know anything about its cult classic status (nor about the fabulousness of Judy Geeson).



Is Aquanoids the relatively recent thing (2005ish) with a lurid DVD cover featuring a voluptuous babe in cleavage-enhancing shortie wetsuit with speargun? Not seen it but I keep getting tempted!
Or am I muddled and you are on about some 70s tat?

In reply to graeme jackson:


Local cinemas do shit like that. I went to see a talk by Gary Rydstrom (7-time Oscar winner for sound and/or sound effects engineering), he now also oversees English-language dubbing of anime movies. They showed an English language dub of Arietty as part of the evening. They managed to get the dub that he HADN'T worked on. D'oh. He was very gracious about it.

In reply to Blue Straggler:

I remember going to the cinema in Macclesfield to see "The Rock" of all things. First 20 minutes had the projector pointing at the ceiling.

How many do you recognise?

https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1djhtg_the-ultimate-bad-acting-compilati...

In reply to davidbeynon:

I just bought the late David Carradine's "Lone Star Ranger".

I assume it's a posthumous release.

If someone sent a pre-release copy to his hotel in Bangkok, it could well explain why he hanged himself off a doorknob. Or whatever.

In reply to davidbeynon:

El Mariachi was one if the best "so bad it's good" films for me. Unintentionally hilarious. Then they got hold of a big budget and remade it with Antonio Banderas, and the result was nowhere near as entertaining.