UKC

/ Spike would be

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Big Ger - on 18:24 Mon

100 years old today.

If he wasn't dead that is.

A true genius...

Mal Grey - on 18:52 Mon
In reply to Big Ger:

Stolen from elsewhere;

 

  • “You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.”
  • “Money couldn’t buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy.”
  • “I have the body of an 18-year-old. I keep it in the fridge.”
  • “I’m a hero with coward’s legs.”
  • “All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.”
  • “The best cure for sea sickness is to sit under a tree.”
  • “I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.”
  • “And God said, ‘Let there be light’, and there was light, but the electricity board said he would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.”
  • “How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.”
  • “I turned and rubbed my hands with glee. I always keep a tin of glee handy.”
  • “I can speak Esperanto like a native.”
  • “Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.”
DerwentDiluted - on 19:25 Mon
In reply to Big Ger:

A knock on the door in Nazi

HITLER - "Who is zat?"

VOICE - "Martin Bormann, I have zer message for you"

HITLER - "slide it under zer door"

Sound of Bormann grunting

BORMANN "It won't go under"

HITLER "Vy not?"

BORMANN "It's in mein head."

 

He made a 12yr old Diluted almost asphxyiate on a train from laughing too much.

Love Light and Peace.

Post edited at 19:26
coinneach - on 19:28 Mon
In reply to DerwentDiluted:

I told you I was ill

FactorXXX - on 19:35 Mon
In reply to Big Ger:

> A true genius...

You little grovelling bastard...

Postmanpat on 20:12 Mon
In reply to Big Ger:

"Caw" said the crow,

"Balls" said Milligan.

Blue Straggler - on 20:22 Mon
In reply to Big Ger:

I liked his Irish O'Lympics and First Irishman In Space

Carless - on 16:31 Tue
In reply to FactorXXX:

for anyone who didn't get the reference, have a listen to this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TkOAUht3G5o

and don't forget his short stuff too

 

Tis due to pigeons that alight

on Nelson's hat that makes it white

Mark Edwards - on 19:13 Tue
In reply to Mal Grey:

> Stolen from elsewhere;

I’ve met people like you before. Most of Them are buried under my garden.


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