UKC

It’s been hot today, so had a few cans of Guiness and was busy cheffing and fancied a wee mouthful of red wine before sitting down to our meal. Grabbed a shot glass, filled it up and had a hearty mouth full. When I went for the next mouthful, noticed the opaque, slightly sludgey colour to the wine… 
 

…. Last night, I decided to save the Saharan dust into a small glass, which I then placed on the same shelf as the wine glasses. I’ve just consumed 209.5 mg of Saharan dust !  My wife laughed herself to tears. And I’m now starving, having developed a huge apatite….

Colleague of mine back in the day once forgot he was descaling the coffee machine and made himself a cuppa. He looked green for a day or two, assisted by the imaginative predictions of dire consequences contributed by his colleagues.

I once came back from work, saw a bottle of water on the kitchen table and gulped a load down. It was a bottle of water and screen-wash that my wife had put there. She laughed a lot then as well. 

Oh gawd. This isn't going to be another "I've eaten a death prawn" type thread is it?

It's a bit of mud, don't pretend that's the first you've ever eaten!

Unlikely; silicates, sulphates & quartz...

Of course, 'ashes to ashes, dust to dust' and 'we are stardust'...

Pedants corner: quartz is a silicate (arguably the original )

My wife has a habit of filling the kettle with white vinegar and then forgetting about it.

White vinegar coffee isn't great.

Indeed it is, but the saharan sand is obviously composed mostly of the other forms. The wiki entry obviously decided to lump the other forms together, and give quartz an individual mention. Go edit the wiki entry if it bothers you...

Many years ago I really liked drinking chocolate and would sometimes eat a spoonful from the tin which got me into trouble with my mum.

One night I went to get some and left the kitchen light off so I wouldn't get caught. As quick as I could I got the tin from the cupboard and had a spoonful only to find I'd picked up the tin of Bisto.

Dave

Not quite as bad as mistaking anusol and chilblain cream...

That’ll teach you to empty the kettle of any cold water and then just meaure what you need for your coffee(s)

But if you're only boiling exactly what you need each time you wouldn't need to empty the kettle in the first place. Watery vinegar. 

(Sorry, couldn't resist, this is UKC after all 🙂🙃🙂)

As a kid I saw what I thought was a glass of cola. Turned out it was cold black coffee and disgusting in the extreme 

I’ve heard similar of a couple working late in a fish and chip shop (served burgers too) got a bit randy. Whilst fumbling in the dark for a condom the poor bloke opened a sachet of English mustard onto his Johnson instead.

Even worse is mistaking anusol for toothpaste.

 Citric acid coffee is worse, but it's great for descaling a kettle

Also good for scaling de kettle 

Couple of years ago, when we were out for dinner, my mother-in-law cheerfully poured what turned out to be hand sanitizer all over her dinner!

It was sat on the table with the salt and pepper in an un-labelled ceramic dispenser and she'd thought it was oil or vinegar - someone at the restaurant had obviously decided that cheap-looking plastic hand san bottles on the tables weren't the look they were going for!