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Job interview: don't want to go, what's good form?

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 ksjs 10 Mar 2013
I have a job interview at 9 tomorrow. This is the 3rd interview. I was offered the job after the 2nd interview.

I think this interview is more of a personality type / will this person fit in / look me in the eye sort of thing.

Trouble is I expressed reservations (to the recruitment agent involved) about the job after being offered it. Regardless, it was strongly suggested that I still attend the 3rd interview. Since then my feelings have strengthened and I now can't see myself accepting the job (for very good reasons that won't change and aren't negotiable).

I've spent a lot of time thinking about this situation (it shouldn't have gone this far) and to be honest I've had enough. I just want it to be over. My options seem to be:

1. Go for the interview with an open mind and finalise my decision afterwards;
2. Go for the interview and explain the situation i.e. that I've changed my mind; or
3. Seek to cancel the interview first thing tomorrow. No idea how practical this would be as I don't know if I can contact the interviewer before 9 yet I need to leave home at 8 to make the interview start time.

My preference is option 3 but it could look really bad. Equally however is it not worse to turn up for interview and for it to end within 5 minutes after I declare my hand or for it to feel fake. Maybe the best option is 2 but then that's potentially a 'waste' of my time and the interviewer's and a letdown.

Any thoughts on how you'd like to be treated if you were the interviewer? To be clear: there is no basis (within the parameters of what's realistic) that I would accept the job and I'm not seeking any further interview experience.

And finally, I know I shouldn't have let it get to this stage but it was only on reflection (time for which wasn't given) that my feelings became clear. So please, no recriminations.
Cthulhu 10 Mar 2013
In reply to ksjs:

Do the right thing - go to the interview, thank them for their interest and explain why you are declining their offer, explaining that you weren't previously given time to consider it properly. It may help them improve their process.
 Dax H 10 Mar 2013
In reply to ksjs: Start phoning them at 0730 and don't stop until you get an answer. That way the person conducting the interview can crack on with other work.
 thin bob 10 Mar 2013
In reply to ksjs:
I think they'd prefer 3, as it doesn't waste anyone's time. Maybe send a follow-up email to the company explaining your reasons. the recruitment agent just wants your attendance at this interview for their stats: encouragement is fine, but if you told them you weren't going to take it.
OP ksjs 10 Mar 2013
In reply to Cthulhu: Think this where I'm at.
OP ksjs 10 Mar 2013
In reply to thin bob: I didn't say I wasn't going to take it. I said I had serious reservations. I assumed this would be communicated to the employer and they would seek to bottom this out before anything was progressed. This didn't happen as far as I can tell so I'm now looking at a very strange situation: is interviewer needing to sell to me but has no knowledge of this requirement or am I to feign genuine interest?

Too many cooks and the whole experience has only served to raise further queries for me about the value of recruitment agents.
 hokkyokusei 10 Mar 2013
In reply to ksjs:
> (In reply to thin bob) I didn't say I wasn't going to take it.

"Since then my feelings have strengthened and I now can't see myself accepting the job (for very good reasons that won't change and aren't negotiable).

I've spent a lot of time thinking about this situation (it shouldn't have gone this far) and to be honest I've had enough."

Perhaps you gave off slightly mixed messages to the recruitment consultant? I must admit I'm finding it hard to reconcile what you said in your original post with "I didn't say I wasn't going to take it."

OP ksjs 10 Mar 2013
In reply to hokkyokusei: Think we're splitting hairs here. I didn't refuse the offer, I said I had serious reservations. Those sentiments have since clarified themselves. Simple and reasonable. I see no contradiction.

Were it not a Sunday I'd be on the phone right now sorting this out.
 JJL 10 Mar 2013
In reply to ksjs:

Either

A. Send them an e-mail saying

Dear XXX

Thank you for your application to become my employer. Unfortunately I have received a number of applications whose offer more closely matches the experience I am looking for and so I regret that I will not be progressing you to the next stage in my process. I wish you every success in your search for a suitable candidate.

Yours sincerely

or

B. Ring them and explain that you have decided not to proceed, and didn't want to waste their time by turning up.

 Doghouse 10 Mar 2013
In reply to JJL:
> (In reply to ksjs)
>
> Either
>
> A. Send them an e-mail saying
>
> Dear XXX
>
> Thank you for your application to become my employer. Unfortunately I have received a number of applications whose offer more closely matches the experience I am looking for and so I regret that I will not be progressing you to the next stage in my process. I wish you every success in your search for a suitable candidate.
>
> Yours sincerely
>


Brilliant!!

But call them, thank them and say you are no longer interested - minimum waste of eveyone's time. If a person turned for a third interveiw for a position I was recruiting for the sole reason of telling me they were not interetsed I'd be mightly pi**ed off!

 ElaineJD79 10 Mar 2013
In reply to ksjs:

I agree with JJL and Doghouse. No point wasting both your time and theirs but let them know.
 Fredt 10 Mar 2013
In reply to ksjs:

The fact that you have the Option 1 means that that should be what you do.
 Mountain Llama 10 Mar 2013
In reply to ksjs: IMHO u Hav left it to late for options 2 and 3. Going for option 1 will hold u in good stead with employer and agent even if u do nt take the job. Plus it gives u a Chance to talk through ur issues F2F with employer and maybe see a different light. Quite clearly they think u Hav what they want, so use this situation to ur advantage.

Good luck Davy
 EeeByGum 10 Mar 2013
In reply to ksjs: I would ring up and cancel. Regardless of your own reasons I would be very wary of working for ant company, team or manager who needed three interviews to decide if someone was up to the job.
OP ksjs 10 Mar 2013
In reply to JJL: Trouble is they seem like nice people and a good company and I want to show proper respect.
OP ksjs 10 Mar 2013
In reply to Fredt: Interesting, perhaps that's where my subconscious is.
OP ksjs 10 Mar 2013
In reply to Mountain Llama: I think it's hard to over-estimate the value of 'being on the ground'; you often discover things you didn't know, it's therefore rarely time wasted. Think option 1 is the best way forward for all concerned.
OP ksjs 10 Mar 2013
In reply to EeeByGum: Not like that: interview 1 with the person who's team I'd be in, interview 2 with that person again and the supply chain manager, interview 3 with the MD.
OP ksjs 10 Mar 2013
In reply to ksjs: Cheers all for replies - going with option 1. For anyone interested I will update this thread tomorrow. He may after all not like me and kick me out!
 cmb621 10 Mar 2013
In reply to ksjs:

I would go to the interview, express your reservations, see what their reply is and then make up your mind. The fact is you have gotten this far so at the beginning you must have been interested and whatever has transpired could possibly negotiated out before you sign the contract of employment.

If you have only been communicating with the employer through the recruitment agent then you have no idea what has been said. I too do not see the value of recruitment agents - they are just looking to get their cut by placing someone in a job. (Sorry any recruitment agents out there!)
 snoop6060 10 Mar 2013
In reply to ksjs:

If you're not gonna accept the job, why would you go to the interview. Thats bonkers, and a complete waste of ironing. Something a climber likes to do about once every six years.
In reply to EeeByGum:
> (In reply to ksjs) I would ring up and cancel. Regardless of your own reasons I would be very wary of working for ant company, team or manager who needed three interviews to decide if someone was up to the job.

You have presumably not experienced Amazons protracted recruitment process then, and all for a min wage, mainly very short term job .
 deepsoup 10 Mar 2013
In reply to ksjs:
> 1. Go for the interview with an open mind and finalise my decision afterwards;

If this is a genuine option for you and you have the time, I'd say do that. You don't sound completely certain that you won't be taking the job, so maybe you should give them a chance (even if it's a slim one) to address your reservations.
OP ksjs 10 Mar 2013
In reply to snoop6060: I've just done the ironing!

I'm going out of respect, it feels like the right thing too. I guess there is a small chance that something could be worked out.

Also, much better to have an open and direct discussion rather than communicating through a recruitment agent.
Jim C 10 Mar 2013
In reply to cmb621:
> (In reply to ksjs)
>
>I too do not see the value of recruitment agents - they are just looking to get their cut by placing someone in a job. (Sorry any recruitment agents out there!)

I work in a large company, recruiting UK and abroad, they need the Agent to sort the initial wheat from the chaff, it would cost a fortune to have an HR department big enough to sort our the volume of of people who could apply direct in a climate as it is..

When things get quiet what would we do with all these full time HR staff, that were doing little but getting paid a lot. You seem to assume that companies are stupid, and are being conned by these companies, in that case those using ,and justifying their use should lose their job as they are wasting the companies money, if they are not being sacked, one assumes they do add value.

(NB I'm not in recruitment and have no strong views on their use either way)
 snoop6060 10 Mar 2013
In reply to ksjs:
> (In reply to snoop6060) I've just done the ironing!
>

Fair enough, if the ironing is done, you have already done the hard part. May as well go now i suppose.
Wiley Coyote2 10 Mar 2013
In reply to ksjs:

This sounds like a complete dog's breakfast. And I for one am completely bewildered.

1. You've decided you can't see yourself acepting the job 'for reasons that are not going to change and are non-negotiable. ' Fair enough. Yet you are still going to go for an interview that will be a waste of your time and theirs.

2. 'I was offered the job at the second interview' Except there's a third interview. So were you offered the job of not? Sounds like not. Or that it was offered by someone who did not have the authority to offer it

I don't want to be rude (as Simon Cowell would say) but I'm not sure either of you knows what you are doing.

But on a more constructive note, as someone who has done a lot of recruiting, in their shoes I'd prefer someone who did not want the job to ring up and say so and I could reallocate the time to something more constructive. This will be particularly true of an MD, who, contrary to popular belief tend to be busy people working long hours.
 Blizzard 10 Mar 2013
In reply to ksjs:

Let me get this right.

You are going to waste your time and this employers time. I think you need to get your head checked out.
 Pero 10 Mar 2013
In reply to ksjs: The answer is obvious:

Take the job. You know you really want it!
andrew breckill 11 Mar 2013
In reply to ksjs: recruiters are just salespeople, sounds like they want a commission, tell them you don't want it end of.
redsonja 11 Mar 2013
In reply to ksjs: if you dont want the job, dont waste your time or theirs. just phone up as soon as poss and say sorry you changed your mind
New POD 11 Mar 2013
In reply to ksjs:

Bit late now but : go and tell them what job you do want.
 EeeByGum 11 Mar 2013
In reply to ksjs:
> (In reply to EeeByGum) Not like that: interview 1 with the person who's team I'd be in, interview 2 with that person again and the supply chain manager, interview 3 with the MD.

Fair enough, but I would say that the interview 1 and 2 should have been rolled into one interview and the MD should hire people he can trust to hire, or be involved in the main interviews if he doesn't. I have been to many second interviews and none have ever uncovered anything new for either party but have wasted my time. From what I can see, they are just an excuse for the decision makers to prevaricate for a bit longer.
 Trangia 11 Mar 2013
In reply to ksjs:

So what happened?

Did you ring them first thing this morning and cancel?
New POD 11 Mar 2013
In reply to EeeByGum:
> (In reply to ksjs)
> [...]
>
> Fair enough, but I would say that the interview 1 and 2 should have been rolled into one interview and the MD should hire people he can trust to hire, or be involved in the main interviews if he doesn't. I have been to many second interviews and none have ever uncovered anything new for either party but have wasted my time. From what I can see, they are just an excuse for the decision makers to prevaricate for a bit longer.

One reason why I like Freelancing is that the interview lasts a max of 1.5 hours, and there's no discussion about "where do see yourself in 5 years time" or "progression" it's pretty ,much, "this is what we want you to do. What in your CV proves you can do that for us?"

 Mountain Llama 11 Mar 2013
In reply to ksjs: so how did it go? Well I hope........
 iccy 12 Mar 2013
In reply to Mountain Llama:

Yeah, I'm pretty curious! Did you take the job?
 Deviant 12 Mar 2013
In reply to iccy:
> (In reply to Mountain Llama)
>
> Yeah, I'm pretty curious! Did you take the job?


So am I !

This happens a lot on here; people seek advice and then don't have the manners to say what they chose to do.
 Blue Straggler 12 Mar 2013
In reply to Deviant:
>
> This happens a lot on here; people seek advice and then don't have the manners to say what they chose to do.

Give him a chance. He hasn't posted since Sunday. The interview was yesterday.

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