UKC

Not work / life balance as I seem to have that in check, but life balance - as in too busy and need some chill time!

Between being a volunteer at a local club on a week night, following my own sport training goals, and chasing those of my children I am finding it very difficult to have an "off" night, makes planning to do something very hard, and there is no spontaneity either - every night is booked up - I try to keep Sat free to enable some quality family time but invariably something crops up, and Sunday is normally taken over by some sort sport for either me or the children.

How do I resolve this - my sporting goals take a back seat, stop my children from taking part in sport/clubs, etc. - I already have aligned some of my training when their training is on but it still means we are busy 5 nights of the week and then on Sunday.

Whilst people invariably say you should enjoy the time with your children, encourage and nurture them in sports etc and that with them time is short it doesn't seem short when you have another 9 years or so to go before you can see them moving out  and you get back to focusing on you - or am I being too selfish?

You have to have 'you' time, but when you're on your deathbed I doubt you'll be saying 'I wish I had spent more time doing x, y and z instead of all that time I spent with and watching my kids grow up'.

My children have all grown up and I had very little me (alone) time to do what ever I wanted.  I have that now though and it's been a pleasure watching them grow up and love sport/hobbies and develop into the people they have become etc whilst at the expense of my own 'me' time - which I gladly forfeited to raise them since I had to work full time to support them, so already felt like our time together was limited.

Will they be able to join you in a couple of years with your training? This makes the assumption that stroppy teenagers will be interested in the same things as their parents ;p

It was similar with Dad on the farm when we were growing up, so busy we hardly saw him. The easiest fix was to go and give him a hand as soon as we were old enough. 

*****Teary memories starting of 4am stints in the milking parlour*******

A friend once talked about some of the things he wants to do needing to take a back seat so he can be as good a Dad as he'd like to be. During my formative years, my own Dad was sometimes busier than I'd have liked him to have been with work, and spent time away from home on business. That said, we've always had a pretty deep and unspoken bond of trust with one another which I've grown to appreciate when I look at others' lives. It's a bond I feel one of my brothers doesn't quite have, which I both see as a shame, and feel pleased for myself about because I have it, too. 

I'd maybe try and free up some time to spend with your children, if you're as keen at being active as you come across, you'll probably not become unhealthy, which is the important thing for you as well as your children in the long term. 

Edit: It isn't as if any changes need to be set in stone, I don't suppose, you could cut back on training and spend time with them, and then do some of your own training, and cut back again - find some middle ground perhaps? Or decide not to volunteer and have that as what gives.

tough one...I am in the same boat. So far I have only managed to be not very good at climbing, not very good at my job and not very ggod at being a dad!

I strive to get better though. If you find a good solution, let us know!

Joking aside, I have put my climbing on hold a bit and started an activity outdoor that we can do together (kids are now 8 and almost 5). We don't do it as often as we would want but everytime it is a hit!

My own Dad once said that not climbing more was one big(ish) regret, but on the whole he did a good job of the other two you mention.

I reckon it's possibly a variation on the 'Light, strong, cheap, pick two' maxim.  

Try to think of being a volunteer at a local club , following your own sport training goals, and time with your children as off time?

eg; socialising & relaxing through sport?

Your not at work, your not doing chores..

that sounds like off time for me