UKC

My mother, almost 73 and still working on the lung wards, is adamant that I and my three teenage lads join her for Christmas.

It's very likely we all had a dose of the bug in March. I'm still conflicted.

My family has a rather strong history of decorations for valour, and living up to that is part of her mindset.

She's been blunt about risking death or seeing her grandkids. 

Any thoughts? 

Only you can know the answer, but if your Mum is working on the lung wards, she at the very least knows how to minimise the risk, but has also likely had some exposure already. Or are you worried about transmission the other way?

I'm in a bubble with my Mum ( a very fit 77) 10 miles away, and we aren't sure about visiting step sister for Xmas dinner (walking distance so no travel). It's ever so tempting, her other half does an amazing roast beef

No, not worried about us. We've got used to the seemingly endless self isolation of one boy or the other - not easy with four of us in a one bed flat.

She's adamant, though keeping it quiet from the rest of the family. I don't quite get that. When it all kicked off she phoned us all up to ask for our views. My three younger sibs were horrified, but I said "If it's what you want to, and it makes you happy, then do it, but you might die."

I don't know why I'm asking here - probably because it's private from family. Anyway, she gets two tests a week, and is fine. I'll see how 'events' pan out over the week. Thanks for replying. 

Atb D

2 edits for late night elision of words! 

Only you can decide. 

I'm certainly not going to go see my 72 (fit as a flea) mum. Working all across Yorkshire with different people I can't justify the risk to her. No grandkids involved though. 

I am all for people assessing there own individual risk and acting accordingly.  Given your mum's age and desire to keep working in a much higher risk environment than what the general public is exposed to in everyday life then I would probably respect her desicion and have Christmas dinner with her and the kids, is she going to be at any more risk for that one day? Than all the other weeks at work throughout the pandemic?  Off course you can alleviate risk prior to Christmas, minimising contact you and kids have in the week or two prior.

I am in a similar situation with my parents who are 68, and are having a fairly big gathering on Christmas day, but have the advantage of having caught covid myself last month so shouldn't be much of a threat at Christmas not the same for my brother though hopefully we can all be sensible in build up to reduce the risk.  My parents are aware of risk of covid, though will still visit a busy cafe at least once a week, despite suggesting just because a cafe is open does not mean it's a safe place to visit for those more at risk, and they will still look after there grandkids one day a week.  Like yourself I have highlighted the risk of Christmas, risk of going to cafes etc, but if they don't care then I respect there desicion.

The main worry for me would be pre symptomatic spread, I was at work in the 24 hours prior to having mild symptoms at home and I still managed to spread the virus to one other work colleagues, and that's with maintaining social distancing, regular cleaning, wearing mask, ventilating all rooms used etc, though I came in contact with probably 10 plus people so I guess the measures prevented a larger outbreak.

She needs telt? There’s nothing valorous in not respecting the virus.

That said my mum is very similar. I’ll be travelling 400 miles to collect her and bring her to us. She wanted to take the bus, no way I was letting that happen. All other family members have been warned to limit contact from now on in. Teenager did me proud by telling her boyfriend that he’s on his own until after gran’s visited.

Good luck, whatever decision you take. It’s just all a bit crap.

Yeah, visiting my mum and Nan.  Been isolating our family since Saturday to do so.  

Difficult decisions for people to make and we're lucky to be able to isolate.  Partner WFH and I'm not working between now and Xmas so can look after the little one instead of Nursery.

With the vaccine on the horizon, my Nan will be very soon and Mum soon after that, my tolerance for risk is extremely low.  However very keen to use the window to see them as it could be a while before the next opportunity.  

I think this has to be an individual decision for everyone.

For what it's worth, I will be travelling from Glasgow to the SE. My Mum passed in March and my nephew was born in  April - I haven't seen my family since either of those events.

I am working from home, so I am not really seeing anyone in Glasgow. I'm only really leaving the house to go to the supermarket and to run, so my risk factor is about as low as it can be. I'll drive down rather than using public transport and only stop for necessities. My father and sister are already in a bubble. My Dad is a retired virologist who worked on corona virus in cattle, so he fully understands the risks - and to be honest the biggest risk is from my sister's school age kids who he sees regularly anyway. While I am there we will basically act like an extended bubble and keep ourselves to ourselves. Everyone involved is happy with the arrangement.

We're not seeing parents or older family this year, both sets live overseas and we can't possibly get to one set (Isle of Man). We would if we could (with stricter pre-travel risk reduction) because my parents have not yet met their grand daughter and realistically she'll probably be 18 months old before we can get a permit to go see them. They're far too high risk to travel to us without vaccines with covid rife as it is currently. It's tough but putting it in perspective at least they're safe where they are, just not getting any younger!

Over xmas we will go stay a night with my sister in law and family then my brother is coming to us for a couple of nights. We all pose relatively little risk to each other though I'm not overly pleased to be another possible link in a chain I do think it's important, my bro' lives alone and my wife's pretty desperate to see her sister.

Brother in law is going to visit his parents, again he lives alone so I can understand it even if it's not entirely risk free.

jk

Why does it have to be over Christmas? What's so precious about this particular holiday? We are now seeing a light at the end of the tunnel with the vaccine being rolled out, and having got this far, and gone through all the sh*t of the first spike, and now the second one, why risk everything for the sake of just a few more months of being patient!? Christmas is totally overrated, it's just a symbolic date in the calendar, like Thanksgiving in the USA, and just look at the havoc continuing to celebrate that has caused. 

Visit family and friends in the Spring or Summer when you can enjoy each other's company in style, safety and potentially much better weather. 

Well said!

Indeed. I shall consider all those who make a "personal decision" to mix households indoors at Christmas without very exceptional circumstances collectively responsible for the inevitable resulting deaths and prolonged restrictions and economic damage in the new year. The whole thing really makes me very angry. F*** Christmas.

You could, if you can afford it, pay for a PCR test for you and your family?  Depends if the visit is worth 500 quid, though.

I’d normally visit my folks ( 80 yrs old and 500 miles away) over the Christmas period.

Not this year though. Too risky. Plus the proposed 5 days of road carnage; it’s just not worth it to any of us.

I see your point but I think you're taking it too far. Everyone who's talked about their plans on this thread has been very clear that they're making a careful risk assessment and implementing mitigations.

I'm sure there are many members of the general public making entirely irresponsible Xmas plans, just as many have been irresponsible throughout the pandemic, but I don't think anyone on this thread deserves the level of judgement that you're applying here.

Personally, I'm travelling to see my family at Xmas and I won't have left my house at all for over two weeks beforehand. I cannot see how that's unreasonable.

Ha yes - I think I am going to be doing my driving in the wee hours!

You wouldn't in Germany, we are getting a 21.30 curfew for the festive period and rightly so.

BBC News - Covid: 'Rash' Christmas rules 'will cost many lives'
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-55311717

It is so dangerous because a large number of people are going to rationalise that their own personal risk is small, which it is, but multiplied by millions it is collectively inexcusable.

I'm talking about driving from Glasgow to the SE and not getting out of the car unless I need to wee. I'm not sure why doing that bit before or after 21.30 should make a difference? Once I am in the SE, I have no intention of going out partying at all!

I think they're going to be forced into making a u-turn on the Christmas relaxations anyway.

Hopefully. I suspect they will end up reducing the days to three and limiting it to two households.

We are traveling to the beach to meet my husbands side of the family for a walk with a good west coast wind to disperse any infection! 89 year old granny will be out with us too so we will see everyone. Then my mum is having lunch with us outside in our lean-to. It's going to be a warm coat and hat day!

I'm not. My boyfriend's dad is in a high risk age category, plus if they're going to see anyone it'll be his sister and their new grandkid. My dad has been having cancer treatment - he's technically out of the 'extremely clinically vulnerable' category at the moment but he'll hopefully be having surgery early in the new year - and I couldn't live with myself if I put him at risk, either through the virus itself or because an infection meant more delays to his treatment. I'd probably be fine because I work from home but my other half works in a university and travels on public transport every day. I'd love to see my family but it's just not worth the risk this time, especially with the vaccine and increasing safety just around the corner.

I got a big shop on Wednesday and have isolated since. Small blip on Saturday when I pushed a broken-down car whilst out on my bike but I didn't lick his face and he stayed in the car so the risk there was hopefully nil. My mum and her partner don't see anyone (including their family who live in the same town), so their christmas might be a bit sad if I don't go back and I haven't seen them since last December. My sister is somewhat paranoid and was pretty unreasonable when I told her I was going back.

I'll probably take the bike and pay a visit to my friend's parents in their garden while I'm back home as well. They're very high risk, having had cancer and a stroke in recent years so I will be very careful. I imagine they are quite isolated with both of their children now living abroad and we have always been very close. I'm taking a big coat and a flask to fill with mulled wine because I'm expecting to be fully freezing.

I get 2 weeks off over xmas so will be travelling outside of the government travel window but I see no rational reason to further bottle-neck travel when I'm only going to one place. 

Staying at home - alone. Being 65 I see no sense in pushing it so late in the day. Plus as I'm recovering from a broken leg I'll be able to put my foot up and relax.

Does also mean I won't have to watch any ruddy "soaps".

Ill be cycling down into the Mekong delta from here in Saigon...should be a cracking xmas

ps have I missed any news from the UK?

This is pretty close to the mark I'd say. https://www.facebook.com/www.JOE.co.uk/videos/do-they-know-its-covid-time/2...

I'll be doing socially distanced outdoor visiting. A walk in a park. My parents are in good health, although my Dad is in remission from prostate cancer. They are not particularly old, my Dad has just turned 70. I figured it was risk that isn't needed. My younger siblings will be staying with my Mum and Step-dad for a few days, who are in a bubble with my Step-dad's 94 year old mother, but they are getting tests before they travel.

We will deliver a Christmas dinner to my father-in-law and have a chat on the doorstep, rather than the usual routine of him coming to ours and drinking all my booze.

The suggestion in todays paper is the number is going to decrease.

Originally was planning to have visit for dinner etc but cut that back last week to socially distanced walk and now to video call only.

The what?

I'm with Robert here. 

I was considering going up to Stirling for a socially distanced walk with my parents, but despite the low individual risk of that, if we all do it, thousands of people die.

Once we get back the virus back down a bit, people making individual sensible decisions spread over time, to travel and visit loved ones doesn't raise the risk to the nation considerably.

Right now, anyone travelling during this window is contributing to the shit show that's coming in January, no matter how careful they are. There will be busy motorway services, there will be accidents on the road, etc., and the virus will be spread around. The best laid plans and all that.

If either of my parents was terminally ill, I might consider going to see them before the end.

Otherwise, I'll wait till they have been vaccinated, and both they and I are in lower risk areas than we are now.

My brother who lives close will visit them for a socially distanced walk, so they will get to see one of their grandchildren at least. The rest of us will video chat. 

I actually don't see a problem with socially distanced outdoor meetings with appropriate precautions. I am calling on my elderly parents in their garden on Boxing day. 

Again, I don't see travelling as such as a problem. I shall be spending as much as possible of my next two weeks' holiday in the hills on my own. No need for any interaction with anybody else. I can fill up with diesel locally and be totally self-sufficient for up to a week.

Well, I reckon my question has been answered this evening! Cheers all. 

We are off to see my wife's parents for Christmas day, was going to be longer but as of today's announcements will just have to be a day trip. Dad is 71and not in the best of health, mum is 61 and generally good health. Wife's sister is in London so unlikely to come up now. 

Not ideal on many fronts but it's a risk-quailty life balance we are happy with.

I'm looking into getting a test before I confirm my Dad picking me up to go and see him down towards Banbury, Toots Hibbert is through to have died from covid, and he was of a similar age to my Dad. It puts it into perspective when you think of robust seeming people like Toots succumbing to it.

That sounds like a perfect way to end this year!

that bad eh?

Was working hard today so have only now seen this thread ...

But 'valor versus covid'! It's quite funny, in it's blackly humorous way.