We aren’t blessed with extensive boulderfields in this country, but we do have some fine boulders.
The ideal boulder would stand out from the crowd and have a good number, range and quality of problems. It would be aesthetically pleasing and in a superb location. It might have the full range of slab, vertical and overhanging faces. The height would be in the Goldilocks zone of 5-7 metres. It would be open enough to dry quickly but not so exposed as to be unpleasant to climb in winter. The list of contenders is already becoming very small.
Perhaps the Fish or the Sugar Loaf at Wimbery fit the bill, the sandstone towers of Spofforth or the Calf at Ilkley, although that is a bit high for most. My top three boulders sound like the names of pubs: The Pebble at Stanage, of course! The Ship at Kay Nest, where? The Galleon at Boulby on the North Yorkshire coast, near the deep potash mine in which they are trying to detect the passage of elusive neutrinos.
The Pebble is an obvious choice. It has 22 problems, compared to 16 and 13 at the other two. Its range from 4-7c+ is only matched by the Galleon. It has the classic Deliverance dyno alongside the various superb Aretes. It is perfectly proportioned, the David of boulders, and the location is ideal, not least because of its proximity to the road, although that may also be its one drawback.
The Galleon near Boulby has a peerless location overlooking the North Sea. It has the full range of slab, vertical and overhanging faces. It has a classic testpiece arete of New Horizon 7c+, as well as some more amenable problems. These include Permanent Colour, a slab with pleasingly fluent moves at 6a, Kippers 5 and Jet 5+ which navigate a face of rippled sandstone, imprinted by the ebb and flow of tides millennia ago.
My dream boulder is the remote Ship at Kay Nest, embedded in the North Yorkshire Moors over an hour’s walk from the road. It is magnificent - its prow surging through the sea of bracken like an ocean liner. The climbs are limited to two long, nearly vertical faces, one a slight slab and the other just overhanging. Its narrow range from 4 to 6b+ suits me just fine, providing plenty to work on. An expedition here is a memorable experience, always tinged with the fear of a broken ankle and an epic retreat.
Badger Rock is a great boulder, but it has 0 amazing problems and is the wrong height. Then there's the Bowderstone, but that's wrong in so many ways...
Lovely writing, take a bow. Two more locations to add to the list for when I get the time to explore the country! Let's hope the knees haven't given out by then!
Edited to add - should I be proud or ashamed that I instantly recognised TPK's contribution?
Ha Ha. Very nice. By the way I've just moved to Bristol and am loving your Esoteric Bouldering book. I've already explored Huckman Quarry and its amazing land that time forgot. Also Fingertip Wall and Burrington Coombe. I'm looking forward to the Forest of Dean boulders.
Having spent a lot of time in Northumberland my go to venue was The Dovehole boulders, such a brilliant ambience with great views to the Cheviot hills, with a very fontesque little circuit from 5 to 6c, the stand out problem is Fungatatus Ejactulatus 6c just high enough to get the adrenaline pumping, an exquisite series of moves, delicate and technical with the crux at the top, such an aesthetic problem and certainly a dream venue for me.
