In reply to Tim Chappell:
My specialist subject........
"I have an invisible friend, Reg, my Reasonable Excuse Generator. He is very accomplished at what he does. He is currently tending to choose a selection from:
- age;
- excessive or inadequate height or reach;
- weight;
- weather (predictions of imminent change, too hot, cold, windy, wet or humid);
- nature of the rock, climbing, protection and belays (too much, too little or the wrong sort);
- strength (invariably lack of);
- generic and specific ailments;
- apathy;
- vegetation, slime and nettles;
- dampness and seepage;
- loose rock;
- polish;
- rumours of adverse access agreements;
- daylight (too little remaining or insufficiently well established);
- too hard, too easy, done it before, not done it before for a good reason;
- forgotten or lost equipment;
- hunger, thirst or over-indulgence;
- flies, midges, ticks or other wildlife;
- pressing engagement elsewhere or threats issued by my lawful wedded opponent;
- insufficient blood in the alcohol flow,
and that's before we start on winter climbing for which he has a whole new lexicon."