/ Inapt route names

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Rog Wilko on 09 May 2019

Lots of routes have names that relate to the nature of the route, but some turn out to be totally inapt.

Heather Wall (HVD 3c) is one. Though it has a short wall to start, most of the route lies up a slab, in fact a corner crack at the side of a slab with an angle probably less than 45 degrees. Not much Heather either.

Proud Corner (VS 4c) is another cracker. Called a corner but actually follows the complete opposite, an arete.

Any more examples?

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danm on 09 May 2019
In reply to Rog Wilko:

Well, most obvious is this one: Piss (f7B) It isn't.

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Jon Stewart - on 09 May 2019
In reply to danm:

> Well, most obvious is this one: Piss (f7B) It isn't.

And Easy Picking (E2 6b), which is probably the hardest route I've ever done.

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Kid Spatula - on 09 May 2019
In reply to Rog Wilko

Roof Route (VS 4c)  Burbage South Edge

Whoever named this had some funny ideas about what constitutes a roof.

It is in fact a bloody awkward crack next to an awkwardly angled slab. Wear one B3 and one climbing shoe. 

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profitofdoom on 09 May 2019
In reply to Rog Wilko:

> Any more examples?

Christmas Curry (S 4a) - not a trace of curry on it. The Plum (E1 5b) - no plums whatsoever, and I've looked everywhere every time I've done it

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Michael Gordon - on 09 May 2019
In reply to Rog Wilko:

There's lots of examples of irony in route names. Can't remember where (it's not on the logbooks), but there's a route called Pleasant Slab. It's an offwidth!

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john arran - on 09 May 2019
In reply to Rog Wilko:

Maybe I'm missing some intended irony, but presumably Heather Wall once sported heather, and Proud Corner is an outward-facing corner, i.e. one that stands proud of the wall rather than is recessed into it. In the earlier days of describing rocks, this use of 'corner' was quite common.

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fred99 - on 09 May 2019
In reply to Rog Wilko:

The "Easy way down" at Wintours Leap.

Not actually an official climb, but I'm sure that it could warrant a grade. It's frightened the whatsit out of a number of people who get led down it.

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ianstevens - on 09 May 2019
In reply to Kid Spatula:

> In reply to Rog Wilko

> Whoever named this had some funny ideas about what constitutes a roof.

> It is in fact a bloody awkward crack next to an awkwardly angled slab. Wear one B3 and one climbing shoe. 

The slab is about the same angle as a roof no?

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ChrisClark1 - on 09 May 2019
In reply to Rog Wilko:

There's a problem at Brownstones called The Chimney (f4) which in reality is a wide corner.

Bonus points as the guidebook description is "Not a chimney"

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JimR - on 09 May 2019
In reply to ChrisClark1:

Coronation Street, Its not a street and there's no chickens on it.

Malbogies ... never seen a bad snotter on it

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mrphilipoldham - on 09 May 2019
In reply to Rog Wilko:

The Right Unconquerable (HVS 5a) is actually conquerable. As is the left.

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profitofdoom on 09 May 2019
In reply to mrphilipoldham:

> The Right Unconquerable (HVS 5a) is actually conquerable....

No it isn't. As a young lad of 19 I fell off just below the top seconding it. I had to be hauled over the top like some giant floppy fish. I don't think anyone's ever done it really

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pasbury on 09 May 2019
In reply to Rog Wilko:

Charming Crack at Brimham doesn't look it!

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Gordon Stainforth - on 09 May 2019
In reply to mrphilipoldham:

> The Right Unconquerable (HVS 5a) is actually conquerable. As is the left.

The names are all to do with the history. They were called that in the 30s because they proved to be literally unconquerable. It was nearly 20 years, until higher standards were ushered in with Brown, before the names were proved incorrect. There is a very well-known Unclimbed Wall at Harrison's which was called that for the same reason.

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Michael Gordon - on 09 May 2019
In reply to mrphilipoldham:

> The Right Unconquerable (HVS 5a) is actually conquerable. As is the left.

Tut tut. You never conquer a route or mountain - a ludicrous notion. Joe himself said that!

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John Stainforth - on 09 May 2019
In reply to pasbury:

It isn't! Charming Crack is horrendous, or at least it used to be, because it's (was) lined with vicious quartz crystals.

There is a deliberate misnomer at Joshua Tree called Friendly Hands, which looks from a distance like a perfect hand crack cutting through a slightly overhanging bulge. It is only when one gets up there that one finds it's actually a shallow, flared crack that will only take very insecure jams - and only then does one realise that the name is a joke to lure one up there! 

But it's not as evil as Charming Crack!

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mark hounslea - on 09 May 2019
In reply to Rog Wilko:

Jim's Chimney on Helsby is a very technical and bold slab

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Bulls Crack - on 09 May 2019
In reply to Rog Wilko:

Left Wall and Right Wall if you face outwards

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GrahamD - on 10 May 2019
In reply to Bulls Crack:

Or upside down !

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alan moore - on 10 May 2019
In reply to Rog Wilko:

The Douglas Boulder must up high in the understatement ranking.

Then, of course there's always First Pinnalce Rib, which is actually the Second Pinnacle Rib and which may, or may not, be The Overlapping Rib on Tryfan.

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keith sanders - on 10 May 2019
In reply to Bulls Crack:

If you face the crag its left and right Logical.

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keith sanders - on 10 May 2019
In reply to Jon Stewart:

Hard what is hard ?

Easy Picking I'll second that although not he hardest route I've done but up there with the feel off it.

keith s

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gooberman-hill - on 14 May 2019
In reply to fred99:

I can think of a number of similar examples. Compass Point and Etive Slabs descent routes being a case in point.

Kids: spelling is important. There is only one letter between decent route and descent route!

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OliverR17 - on 15 May 2019
In reply to Rog Wilko:

At Wyndcliff Quarry, there are three routes around an arete:

Not the Arete (6a), The Arete (7a+), andAlmost the Arete (6c+).

Curiously, it is only "The Arete" that doesn't involve climbing the arete...

Post edited at 00:27
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AlanLittle - on 15 May 2019
In reply to profitofdoom:

Profitofdoom is right. You've only "conquered" it if you top out with some degree of elegance. Nobody ever has or will, ergo: unconquerable

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Bulls Crack - on 15 May 2019
In reply to keith sanders:

Well yes - I knew that!

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alx on 15 May 2019
In reply to Rog Wilko:

I am trying to find the climb, isn’t there a boulder problem in Switzerland called Font 7A, but is in fact graded 8A?

much angry dry humping ensues.

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Rog Wilko on 15 May 2019
In reply to AlanLittle:

> Profitofdoom is right. You've only "conquered" it if you top out with some degree of elegance. 

You never conquer anything as a climber. The mountain or the route have just allowed you to succeed - this time.

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