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Ok i have takein this idea from RC.com but it was well funny on there.
You know you are a rock climber if you can get on the roof of your house with out a ladder or if food tastes better with chalk on it..........
You know you are a rock climber if you can get on the roof of your house with out a ladder or if food tastes better with chalk on it..........
In reply to chrisw88: or you can happly say to another guy 'hey..i like your nuts'
In reply to chrisw88:
When your idea of `perfect conditions` is bloody freezing
When your idea of `perfect conditions` is bloody freezing
In reply to chrisw88:
If you want to waste any minutes of your life talking about the grades of Cemetery Gates or TPS.
If you want to waste any minutes of your life talking about the grades of Cemetery Gates or TPS.
In reply to chrisw88: When after an evening on the Grit, and finger pads worn right down, you have trouble gripping that first pint at the pub....maybe thats why pint glasses have that bow'ed out effect near the top!!!????!!! to aid the climbing community at large..
In reply to Phylis:
You know those glasses nearly went out of fashion about 10 years ago. I really regret the passing of the real old English pint glass, though, with all its wonderful facets.
You know those glasses nearly went out of fashion about 10 years ago. I really regret the passing of the real old English pint glass, though, with all its wonderful facets.
In reply to chrisw88:
When your fingertips hurt doing the washing up.
When your fingertips hurt doing the washing up.
In reply to chrisw88: I spilled a load of a fine bells when the glass slipped out of my hand. I was well annoyed. mmmmm Whiskey. Found a measure in the cabinet the other night and temptation is running high. Anyone for alcoholism?
In reply to willhunt: Oh, and Sambuka shots. Sitting in the pub calling loudly:
"SAM BOO KA. SAM BOO KA"
after my friend had finished his 7th famous grouse
"SAM BOO KA. SAM BOO KA"
after my friend had finished his 7th famous grouse
In reply to chrisw88:
If, when you're out walking, you compulsively stick your hand into a crack in a wall or boulder when you can see it's a perfect hand jam width.
If, when you're out walking, you compulsively stick your hand into a crack in a wall or boulder when you can see it's a perfect hand jam width.
In reply to willhunt: oh god bells!!! deary me. last time i did bells i spent the nite laying shakein + pukeing on my bathroom floor, had a wee bit to much
In reply to chrisw88:
You can't walk past a stone building without working out a route to the top.
You find youself crimping the edges of desks, checkout counters, door frames, car trims, and anything else within reach.
All social commitments are based on an assumption of bad weather. And your family know this.
You think rising sea levels aren't a problem, it would only remove the useless bits of land anyway.
You can't walk past a stone building without working out a route to the top.
You find youself crimping the edges of desks, checkout counters, door frames, car trims, and anything else within reach.
All social commitments are based on an assumption of bad weather. And your family know this.
You think rising sea levels aren't a problem, it would only remove the useless bits of land anyway.
In reply to Gordon Stainforth: The old pint pot was great, wonder why they got rid?
In reply to chrisw88:
You read guidebooks compulsively and can walk along at least one crag of your choice and name&grade almost every route there.
You constantly visualise how to do "that move" on a route you've never done, and when you finally come to do it, its completely different.
When asked your favorite book, you answer "Hard Rock", or similar, and everyone else wonders what planet your on.
You start using words like "bomber" and "nails" in your everyday vocabulary and getting funny looks from people who don't knwo what you're on about. Or perhaps this is just me.
You read guidebooks compulsively and can walk along at least one crag of your choice and name&grade almost every route there.
You constantly visualise how to do "that move" on a route you've never done, and when you finally come to do it, its completely different.
When asked your favorite book, you answer "Hard Rock", or similar, and everyone else wonders what planet your on.
You start using words like "bomber" and "nails" in your everyday vocabulary and getting funny looks from people who don't knwo what you're on about. Or perhaps this is just me.
In reply to chrisw88: ha! The lad I was with astounded me by having 7 whiskeys folowed by sambuka. Twas his 18th. He suffered no ill effects, got up the next day and was up for D of E.
I had one whiskey followed by 3 sambukas in quick succession and had a small headache.
I had one whiskey followed by 3 sambukas in quick succession and had a small headache.
In reply to willhunt:
honestly, wusses. I had 7 treble whickeys (they were on offer) at a friend's 18th. I havent drunk by choice it since.
(I wont mention the situation since then when I was force to drink it, which happened to be my 18th...)
honestly, wusses. I had 7 treble whickeys (they were on offer) at a friend's 18th. I havent drunk by choice it since.
(I wont mention the situation since then when I was force to drink it, which happened to be my 18th...)
In reply to Si dH: well i had 0.5L of bells!
In reply to chrisw88:
We've mentioned this one many times before I think: when you disappear into the loo clutching a climbing guidebook.
We've mentioned this one many times before I think: when you disappear into the loo clutching a climbing guidebook.
In reply to willhunt:
Tut Tut Will, thought you were tee-total
My god wont be long till you are a hardened fanny licker... he he
Tut Tut Will, thought you were tee-total
My god wont be long till you are a hardened fanny licker... he he
In reply to Lightweight_2005:
you hang your head in shame if you failed to achieve something that was very difficult.
you hang your head in shame if you failed to achieve something that was very difficult.
In reply to Lightweight_2005: ha! Only whiskey. no lager. Sorry I havent been texting or anything but school has gone crazy mad as has the weather so climbing is not really on the agenda at the mo. Will let you know when the dust settles.
In reply to chrisw88: If your feet are dyed a funny colour.
In reply to nikinko:
OK, you're a rock climber when you do that. But I would say only a 'proper' rock climber when you get over that. (Don't take me too seriously. But I am being a bit serious.)
> (In reply to Lightweight_2005)
>
> you hang your head in shame if you failed to achieve something that was very difficult.
>
> you hang your head in shame if you failed to achieve something that was very difficult.
OK, you're a rock climber when you do that. But I would say only a 'proper' rock climber when you get over that. (Don't take me too seriously. But I am being a bit serious.)
In reply to chrisw88: you know when you drive along motorways and pass thru rock cuttings that you have passed a million times before but still have a sly mobile glance for the possibilities
In reply to Gordon Stainforth:
well in that case, taken by the trying to work out a route up every stone building, test every ground level hand jam... and of course sneak to the bog for ages with the guide book (only place I can read it in peace) I guess that makes me a climber! Some may beg to differ!
> OK, you're a rock climber when you do that. But I would say only a 'proper' rock climber when you get over that. (Don't take me too seriously. But I am being a bit serious.)
well in that case, taken by the trying to work out a route up every stone building, test every ground level hand jam... and of course sneak to the bog for ages with the guide book (only place I can read it in peace) I guess that makes me a climber! Some may beg to differ!
In reply to chrisw88:
when your weekends are spent climbing in a lot colder wetter places than your office.
avoid paying through the nose for anything.
when risking yours legs/life is always worth a summit.
finding it hard to forgive non-climbers - not me btw
pulling sickies not because your catching up with your girl friend/cba getting out of bed, but to tackle some new route on the Hoy.
Spending every last minute in the office surfing forums looking for a short term partner for a weekend climb.
Getting out of bed at 3am to climb is normal
Being obsessed?
A few ideas there most climbers must cover one of theses or am i weird?
when your weekends are spent climbing in a lot colder wetter places than your office.
avoid paying through the nose for anything.
when risking yours legs/life is always worth a summit.
finding it hard to forgive non-climbers - not me btw
pulling sickies not because your catching up with your girl friend/cba getting out of bed, but to tackle some new route on the Hoy.
Spending every last minute in the office surfing forums looking for a short term partner for a weekend climb.
Getting out of bed at 3am to climb is normal
Being obsessed?
A few ideas there most climbers must cover one of theses or am i weird?
In reply to chrisw88: when your shins are more scabby than an eight year olds
In reply to chrisw88:
When your housemates/climbing partners solo the front of the house to look thru the window to see if your in... above a perfectly good doorbell
When your housemates/climbing partners solo the front of the house to look thru the window to see if your in... above a perfectly good doorbell
In reply to chrisw88: when you find cuts and grazes you didnt know you had.
In reply to Psychopathic_Barbie:
when the back of your hands are cut, bruised and swollen, and at frequent intervals your bath ends up with a lot of grit or sand at the bottom.
when the back of your hands are cut, bruised and swollen, and at frequent intervals your bath ends up with a lot of grit or sand at the bottom.
In reply to chrisw88:
When your arms are so tired you need both hands to get your pint to your lips, but then only just.
When your arms are so tired you need both hands to get your pint to your lips, but then only just.
In reply to chrisw88:
When someone at work asks you to do something difficult and scary and you say "That sounds difficult and scary." and forget to add "I fancy doing that." Because you forget that the majority of your colleagues actually avoid things that are difficult and scary.
When someone at work asks you to do something difficult and scary and you say "That sounds difficult and scary." and forget to add "I fancy doing that." Because you forget that the majority of your colleagues actually avoid things that are difficult and scary.
In reply to chrisw88:
When you are doing something requiring more hands than you have, so you just grab the hose / flex / garden implement with your teeth.
When you are doing something requiring more hands than you have, so you just grab the hose / flex / garden implement with your teeth.
In reply to Ann S:
when you're partner takes you on a sunny beach holiday and forces you to sit on the beach you find yourself gazing longingly at the cliffs and wonder if the water is deep enough...
when you're partner takes you on a sunny beach holiday and forces you to sit on the beach you find yourself gazing longingly at the cliffs and wonder if the water is deep enough...
In reply to nikinko:
Surely, one should gaze longingly at one's partner first.
> (In reply to Ann S)
>
> when you're partner takes you on a sunny beach holiday and forces you to sit on the beach you find yourself gazing longingly at the cliffs and wonder if the water is deep enough...
>
> when you're partner takes you on a sunny beach holiday and forces you to sit on the beach you find yourself gazing longingly at the cliffs and wonder if the water is deep enough...
Surely, one should gaze longingly at one's partner first.
when someone else has to cut your food up for you at the end of the day because you cant grip your knife/fork hard enough.
rem
rem
when your rack costs more than the car you drive it around in.
rem
rem
last 1: you can shit and belay at the same time.
rem
rem
In reply to remtherockclimber: when taking a piss and belaying is not an issue (unless someone pops up the route beneath you!)
In reply to chrisw88: when you are regularaly tasked as the person to go to when people have locked themselves out of houses/flats,,
In reply to Norrie Muir:
yes, you gaze longingly at your partner wishing she could lead HVS..
> (In reply to nikinko)
> [...]
>
> Surely, one should gaze longingly at one's partner first.
> [...]
>
> Surely, one should gaze longingly at one's partner first.
yes, you gaze longingly at your partner wishing she could lead HVS..
In reply to chrisw88:
You get annoyed if anchors and belays are set up wrongly on films but have no objection to a single bullet blowing up a car.
You get annoyed if anchors and belays are set up wrongly on films but have no objection to a single bullet blowing up a car.
In reply to chrisw88: i regually climb up my house and through a window if i have forgotten my key.
you know your a climber when you do pull ups on every door frame you come across.
you know your a climber when you do pull ups on every door frame you come across.
In reply to chrisw88: When you can get onto the second floor of a building without using stairs or lifts.
In reply to kmackenzie:
Tried doing this at a friends last weekend on the way home from a night out with the rugby team. Thankfuly I didn't get very far off the ground before I failed to latch a crucial hold.
Tried doing this at a friends last weekend on the way home from a night out with the rugby team. Thankfuly I didn't get very far off the ground before I failed to latch a crucial hold.
In reply to Deejay:
...when you judge a car's performance by whether or not you can fit a good-sized bouldering mat / several rucksacks in the boot.
...when you judge a car's performance by whether or not you can fit a good-sized bouldering mat / several rucksacks in the boot.
In reply to chrisw88:
When you consider new shoes for the children an extravagance but will spend £40 on a cam.
When you consider new shoes for the children an extravagance but will spend £40 on a cam.
In reply to J1234:
You've just summed me up in one sentance!!!
I'm such a bad parent.
> (In reply to chrisw88)
> When you consider new shoes for the children an extravagance but will spend £40 on a cam.
> When you consider new shoes for the children an extravagance but will spend £40 on a cam.
You've just summed me up in one sentance!!!
I'm such a bad parent.
In reply to chrisw88:
Getting out of bed at 4o'clock on a sunday morning to drive 4hours to a crag to do 2 routes before having to drive 4 hours home again to catch top gear is perfectly fine...but getting up at 8 on a monday morning to drive 15mins to work is just criminal!
Getting out of bed at 4o'clock on a sunday morning to drive 4hours to a crag to do 2 routes before having to drive 4 hours home again to catch top gear is perfectly fine...but getting up at 8 on a monday morning to drive 15mins to work is just criminal!
In reply to chrisw88:
When your booking your family holiday, your decision is based on entirely on the potential for good rock climbing behing the picture of the villa rather than the 'facilities'!!!
http://www.frenchconnections.co.uk/for_holiday_makers/accommodation/100958....
..500m from the Gorge d'Heric
When your booking your family holiday, your decision is based on entirely on the potential for good rock climbing behing the picture of the villa rather than the 'facilities'!!!
http://www.frenchconnections.co.uk/for_holiday_makers/accommodation/100958....
..500m from the Gorge d'Heric
In reply to Si dH:
That keeps getting me into trouble. :P
S.
> (In reply to chrisw88)
> You start using words like "bomber" and "nails" in your everyday vocabulary and getting funny looks from people who don't knwo what you're on about. Or perhaps this is just me.
> You start using words like "bomber" and "nails" in your everyday vocabulary and getting funny looks from people who don't knwo what you're on about. Or perhaps this is just me.
That keeps getting me into trouble. :P
S.
In reply to chrisw88: you break off a piece of cheese and see routes up every sliver (cheddar is good - and appropriate. You have to be quick with a ripe Brie) R
In reply to chrisw88:
When your flatmates are playing drinking games in the kitchen, your working on a V5 traverse in the hall way. (sent it last week, had to get the rock shoes and chalk bag on though)
When you've had to clean black marks off the skirting board.
When your flatmates are playing drinking games in the kitchen, your working on a V5 traverse in the hall way. (sent it last week, had to get the rock shoes and chalk bag on though)
When you've had to clean black marks off the skirting board.
In reply to chrisw88: When you see kids up and tree and wonder a) what route they took and b) the grade of said route.
In reply to Kate: When drop something down the stairs or a ladder and shout "Below!"
In reply to chrisw88:
Check for routes on computer games that feature rocks!
If the rocks in Conflict Vietnam are in any way remotely correct....... I'm there!
Check for routes on computer games that feature rocks!
If the rocks in Conflict Vietnam are in any way remotely correct....... I'm there!
> (In reply to chrisw88)
>
> Getting out of bed at 4o'clock on a sunday morning to drive 4hours to a crag to do 2 routes before having to drive 4 hours home again to catch top gear is perfectly fine...but getting up at 8 on a monday morning to drive 15mins to work is just criminal!
>
> Getting out of bed at 4o'clock on a sunday morning to drive 4hours to a crag to do 2 routes before having to drive 4 hours home again to catch top gear is perfectly fine...but getting up at 8 on a monday morning to drive 15mins to work is just criminal!
In reply to Mike Hartle
Thats me!! for some reason i dont mind getting up at 4am on a saturday, but waking up at 8 on monday morning is a bastard
In reply to Mike Hartley: carrying on the film talk
has anyone seen cliffhanger all the rangers climb with a full rack on there harness and over their shoulders
but they all climb solo and with no rope to use all the gear there carrying
it just doesnt make any sense to me
has anyone seen cliffhanger all the rangers climb with a full rack on there harness and over their shoulders
but they all climb solo and with no rope to use all the gear there carrying
it just doesnt make any sense to me
In reply to chrisw88: when you first name is Leo and your surname is Houlding
In reply to Si dH:
Thats so true!
Mine would be from work last night.
We were patching a load of dimmers in the student union, and my ears kept perking up every time I heard one of the other guys mention E2
> (In reply to chrisw88)
> You start using words like "bomber" and "nails" in your everyday vocabulary and getting funny looks from people who don't knwo what you're on about. Or perhaps this is just me.
> You start using words like "bomber" and "nails" in your everyday vocabulary and getting funny looks from people who don't knwo what you're on about. Or perhaps this is just me.
Thats so true!
Mine would be from work last night.
We were patching a load of dimmers in the student union, and my ears kept perking up every time I heard one of the other guys mention E2
In reply to chrisw88: When you name and grade the routes on the rocky tunnel bits of landscape on yer dads train set.
In reply to chrisw88:
when you can confidently identify strangers as climbers when they are not wearing clothes or carrying stuff that would give it away...
when you can confidently identify strangers as climbers when they are not wearing clothes or carrying stuff that would give it away...
In reply to stonewall: How do you do that?
In reply to stonewall: oh no!
In reply to chrisw88: gthiokrabhkakbnaij
In reply to Mike_mph:
... the door frames and the edges of the work surfaces!
> When you've had to clean black marks off the skirting board.
... the door frames and the edges of the work surfaces!
In reply to nikinko:
When your house mate uses a step ladder to get something on the top cupboard where as you simply put a foot on to the surface below, balance and step up.
When your house mate uses a step ladder to get something on the top cupboard where as you simply put a foot on to the surface below, balance and step up.
In reply to chrisw88:
When you can get into your office at work on the second / third floor faster than the boss can walk up the stairs when your running late.
You have a perfectly good garage, but your car is parked on the road / drive due to it being converted into a bouldering room.
You have a variety of scars and can name the climb you got each one from.
Sheepy
When you can get into your office at work on the second / third floor faster than the boss can walk up the stairs when your running late.
You have a perfectly good garage, but your car is parked on the road / drive due to it being converted into a bouldering room.
You have a variety of scars and can name the climb you got each one from.
Sheepy
In reply to willhunt:
same way as you identify americans, daily mail readers etc
> (In reply to stonewall) oh no!
same way as you identify americans, daily mail readers etc
In reply to stonewall:
Yesterday I was walking through Augsburg (in Germany) when I saw an old couple dressed in full German Olympic Team Tracksuits. I said 'Excuse me, are you American?'.
They said 'How did you know?'
> same way as you identify americans, daily mail readers etc
Yesterday I was walking through Augsburg (in Germany) when I saw an old couple dressed in full German Olympic Team Tracksuits. I said 'Excuse me, are you American?'.
They said 'How did you know?'
In reply to chrisw88:
When your wife tells you: 'you were trying out moves last night while you were asleep'.
When you're sat on a toilet at work and notice a crack in the plaster and start imagining that if you were minature what a perfect line it would be.
Oh god, do I need help?
When your wife tells you: 'you were trying out moves last night while you were asleep'.
When you're sat on a toilet at work and notice a crack in the plaster and start imagining that if you were minature what a perfect line it would be.
Oh god, do I need help?
In reply to chrisw88:
you take your partner to task for tying the wrong kind of knot in a belt round a posh frock before going to a wedding. Worse still is when you realise that they are right.
you take your partner to task for tying the wrong kind of knot in a belt round a posh frock before going to a wedding. Worse still is when you realise that they are right.
In reply to VicS:
Sounds like you need a plasterer.
> When you're sat on a toilet at work and notice a crack in the plaster and start imagining that if you were minature what a perfect line it would be.
>
> Oh god, do I need help?
>
> Oh god, do I need help?
Sounds like you need a plasterer.
In reply to chrisw88:
When you pull a length of flex out of the vacuum cleaner, stick the loop of flex in your mouth to hold it, pull more spare flex out of the vacuum, lean over to the socket right on the edge of your balance, 'clip' into the socket and then feel slightly foolish when you realise what you just did.
When you pull a length of flex out of the vacuum cleaner, stick the loop of flex in your mouth to hold it, pull more spare flex out of the vacuum, lean over to the socket right on the edge of your balance, 'clip' into the socket and then feel slightly foolish when you realise what you just did.
In reply to The Fairy Gothmother:
You must never hold it in your mouth!
When you break wind in public and find it funny
> (In reply to chrisw88)
> When you pull a length of flex out of the vacuum cleaner, stick the loop of flex in your mouth to hold it, pull more spare flex out of the vacuum, lean over to the socket right on the edge of your balance, 'clip' into the socket and then feel slightly foolish when you realise what you just did.
> When you pull a length of flex out of the vacuum cleaner, stick the loop of flex in your mouth to hold it, pull more spare flex out of the vacuum, lean over to the socket right on the edge of your balance, 'clip' into the socket and then feel slightly foolish when you realise what you just did.
You must never hold it in your mouth!
When you break wind in public and find it funny
In reply to chrisw88: When you knock something over or drop something you shout "below" very loudly...did this at the office once when I knocked my tea off the desk with my elbow!
When there are more marks from old scapes and scratches on your forearms and backs of your hands than there is undamaged skin.
When you convince yourself that a badly placed micro-nut in brittle friable rock will be a perfectly acceptable way of stopping a 30 foot fall.
When you hold the bottom of ladder for someone and tell them to "climb on" when they ask if you're ready.
When your forearms are bigger than your biceps.
When you have old, written off bits of gear tied on to the pullcords of lights just to make you feel more at home.
When, while having a conversation with friend/housemate/colleague, you hang from the doorframe instead of standing in the doorway like other people would do.
When you get free drinks in pubs for traversing the building...climbers pub.
or...
When you get thrown out of pubs for traversing the building...non-climbers pub.
When there are more marks from old scapes and scratches on your forearms and backs of your hands than there is undamaged skin.
When you convince yourself that a badly placed micro-nut in brittle friable rock will be a perfectly acceptable way of stopping a 30 foot fall.
When you hold the bottom of ladder for someone and tell them to "climb on" when they ask if you're ready.
When your forearms are bigger than your biceps.
When you have old, written off bits of gear tied on to the pullcords of lights just to make you feel more at home.
When, while having a conversation with friend/housemate/colleague, you hang from the doorframe instead of standing in the doorway like other people would do.
When you get free drinks in pubs for traversing the building...climbers pub.
or...
When you get thrown out of pubs for traversing the building...non-climbers pub.
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