UKC

After some top tips for looking cool at the crag please.

My cool is always improving as i've just started clipping a single quickdraw to the elastic straps on my rucky. Think that looks better already.

Any other tips?

In reply to panad: shoes laces made out of prussik!!! or anything else for that matter that is stringy replace with prussik cord!!

In reply to sihills:

Spaghetti?

In reply to sihills:

Thats great thanks, it's got me thinking, maybe i could make a beautiful bracelet out of prussik cord too.

How super cool!!

In reply to panad:

Red sock are a must and so are Ron Hills.

Timeless pieces of classic design.

Burn that beanie and quit bouldering if you want to be uber cool

In reply to panad:

Softshell underwear B-D

In reply to The Lemming:

cool should be all encompassing, red socks and ron hills would rock when bouldering! can't wait.

can't help but notice that clothing seems to be sold as 'aged already', so maybe a should put some wear points on the 'hills', around the knees, ankle straps and nads area!

cool? i think sooo

In reply to panad:

just put some holes in my awesome brand new 8000m way warm down jacket, so that i can patch it up with duct tape, OMG that looks sweet!

In reply to panad:

Mwwaaawahahahahahaha!

http://kakibesar.diinoweb.com/files/WWW/Equipment/CTDQ1/CTDQ1.htm

In reply to Chris Tan Ver. LI - On the Bog:

wow wow wow

you strike me as the ultra league of cool already. something to aim for.

probably using all of the above mentioned techniques, maybe a student

In reply to panad:

>"Any other tips?"

When at the Plantation and just about to send The Ramp on The Pebble, take a moment to sit on your pad, (being careful not to obscure your CDG luggage label) squeak and pof your shoes and dip your hands deep into a bucket size bag of loose chalk and then contemplate the problem ahead of you making sure to take a few deep breaths before you go. Hopefully it'll go ok, but if you do have to back off feign a real strop about not getting the on-sight, remembering to point out to all in ear shot that you are still tired from Font last month and your skin still hasn't really grown back. A concerned girlfriend is a useful accessory.

In reply to panad:

Pale blue Ronnies

In reply to panad:
My approach consists of:

A natty old Nylon smock that's about as old as I am
Dachstein mitts
Wehrmacht glacier goggles from 1941
A superbly retro ice axe
One of them Peruvian hats with giant red tassles

It's a distinctive look. My friends are constantly infuriated by the fact that all this odd and ancient gear seems to work just as well (if not better) than theirs does!

In reply to panad:
two words my friend...

pink lycra

my work is done

In reply to Only a hill:
N.B. I'm currently hunting around for an RAF Greatcoat for those cold belays.

In reply to panad: Next summer's headgear: instead of helmets, Empire style solar topees.

In reply to davidoldfart:
Oh my god, don't tempt me!!

In reply to panad:
I'm tempted by the guaranteed gasps of amazement when/if I bring my homemade bouldering mat to the crag. I'm thinking straw and tarpaulin...
My 'stone monkey' chalkbag is already a winner.

In reply to panad:

http://www.instructables.com/id/Paracord-watchbandbracelet-with-a-side-rele...

In reply to Only a hill:

RAF is pants. Go Soviet - with the fur hat!

In reply to panad:
When climbing indoors don't forget to leave some prusik loops and a nut-key dangling off your harness.

In reply to JPG:

Nah, I'm angling for the Capt. Jack Harkness look!

In reply to panad:

Leg warmers...a pair for your legs And your arms


Toilet roll hanging out the back of your boots for ages without any bugger telling you but tittering all the way!, however,*inhales again!* is not cool :oP

In reply to Only a hill:


You may laugh, but a few decades ago the mighty unsung heros in the RAF Mountain Rescue Team's saved many many life wearing their uniform on the hill long before helicopters were in wide use and Mountain Equipment Changabang jackets and Mountain Equipment G2 trousers were invented. Respect.

Sorry but after alot of searching the only picture I could find on the internet was on the front cover of this book.

http://images.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=http://ecx.images-amazon.com/image...

In reply to panad:

Climb with Joe Brown - like wot I did (once upon a time)!

In reply to panad:

A vest, stone monkey leggins and a pair of Boreal Ninja's. Complete the look by dangling some filed down RP's off your harness. Word.

In reply to panad: Ice screws dangling off your harness at the wall (in the winter of course).

In reply to everyone:

Who the hell's been going through my wardrobe?????

You're just jealous, that's what it is.

ALC

In reply to panad:

Gratuitous finger tape. Mummify each finger, then consider maybe sticking a bit to your ear.

In reply to panad: A set of hex's size 9-14 on rope, all long enough to bash your ankles when clipped to your Whillens harness is a must...

Andy F

In reply to andy farnell:
One set of hexes on each side is a must, you know you have them racked correctly when they tie themselves together round your leg whenever you raise your foot above knee level.

In reply to panad: Any other tips?

When talking to anyone at the crag focus somewhere over the top of their head to cultivate that 'far away look in your eyes' and talk in a dreamy distracted way to indicate you occupy a higher ethical plane or have left a part of your being in the greater ranges.

In reply to panad: When wearing your Boreal Aces, ensure you use permanent marker to block out the little suit symbols.

In reply to The Lemming:
If you wear the footloops on your Ron Hills in front of the ankle it gives several degrees of coolness

In reply to panad:

The OP should really amalgamate all this advice into the image of one climber: the heighth of cool.

In reply to Only a hill: I congratulate you are you in fact Heinrich Harrer that highball problem on the Eiger looks a bu**er.

In reply to the OP there are 3 things which guarentee coolness one is a Fez as worn by Johnny Dawes.Carrying your gear to the Crag in a suitcase and living in a hut below Stoney Middleton is a dead cert.

When indoors I tend to sport a striped Hally Hansen top (to prove you can climb outside as well) and a couple of ice screws on the gear loops.

Hope this helps

In reply to panad:

Can't help with crag fashion, but I always feel cool striding into the climbers pub nearest the crag at the end of the day, full racked up, guidebook in hand and orderinga lager top.

In reply to Owen W-G: but I always feel cool striding into the climbers pub nearest the crag at the end of the day, full racked up, guidebook in hand and orderinga lager top.

You are not alone....


Ten minutes later, I entered The Shepherd's Rest pub: Chest puffed out, purple helmet held firmly in my hand, imaginary rope slung over my shoulder, I sense the hush as all the eyes in the Bar look at me in awe. At that moment I become suddenly aware of my responsibility - I was representing the Climbing Brotherhood. The barmaid approaches nervously, leans provocatively and revealingly over the bar, then flutters her eyelashes at me. I request a pint and a packet of peanuts. As she bends over to get my nuts, I hit her with the ace knicker-loosener of all chat-up lines: "You know, I'm a climber. I've got fingers like steel claws…(wolfish smile) …all the better to rip your undies off with". She gives me a knowing wink (must have been directed at me, because the only other guy anywhere near me is this muscly Brad Pitt lookalike nerd with a neckchain). Foaming shandy in hand, I sidle over to the jukebox and put 'Lady in Red' on. Looks like quite a night in store. I'm just glad to be doing my bit of PR for Real Climbers everywhere. Like Ben Moon said, 'The power of climbing there's nothing like it'.

Marc C

In reply to panad: wear some super baggy jeans you have had to roll up about a dozen times to be able to see your feet, ensure they are suitably low slung even though you are wearing a belt so that all and sundrie can see your designer undies or your ass crack (this is usually a personal preference) when ever you bend over or demonstrate a high set. Add a suitably matching hoody and a silly mat from a german xmas market so you now resemble zig and zig and then put on your pink 5/10's and walk around in them with your heels hanging out telling other people how to climb everything but without so much as actually getting on any route or problem yourself.....

In reply to Only a hill:

ah yes, that bi-curious/gay and gagging look

In reply to panad: I always keep a banana in my front pocket so it looks like I am big into healthy eating.

In reply to jim hughes:


or a sucker for enhancement scam emails....

In reply to jim hughes:

good call.

maybe a couple o oranges nussled in there to show you get your vit C too?!!

In reply to jim hughes:

this is all good stuff, but i still believe the coolest look is a short sleeved hooded t-shirt from the early 90's.

In reply to panad:

It's all a about the "crew". You can't be cool without a posse of other cool types hanging around you with video camera's and sharma-esc shouts of encouragement/abuse. Best if none of them actually climb but all carry pads and throw them under you at every opportunity.

In reply to highrepute: At least 3 belay devices ....this is even cooler when taken indoors and a few draws are added.

In reply to panad:

One or more Swedish (or Finnish) belay bunnies

In reply to kipper12:

Regardless of weather, remove all clothing from upper half of your body with exception of the silly hat that hides your uncool haircut.

In reply to a lakeland climber: remove all clothing from upper half of your body with exception of the silly hat that hides your uncool haircut.


and exposes sillier tattoo

In reply to highrepute:

>Best if none of them actually climb but all carry pads and throw them under you at every opportunity

conjurs up a hilarious image !

In reply to panad:

<cries laughing>

This is the best thread ever on UKC

In reply to panad:

Make sure you keep your chalk bag on whilst leaning against the bar - that bunny rabbit look is irresistable.

In reply to panad:

I'm loving 'nussled'.

Does any word better convey the gentle jiggling required to get assorted pieces of fruit snugly nestled against the groin area? I think not.

In reply to GrahamD:

Alternatively, on those cold wet November days when the wall is more appealing than the crag, show up with full Gogarth rack so large slings are need to supplement your gear loops to carry QDs.

Lead the F6a's resting on every bolt and loudly tell the other climbers you are "in training for Annapurna".

In reply to jim hughes:

So do i. The confusion is funny ;oP

In reply to panad: Come climbing with me then you will look cool.

In reply to panad: Where are said shirts Mr panad. I aint got them no more, I think you have them, I think you took both of the teenrat hyperdrives so you and M@£$€€a could have one each.

Besides as I remember the pyjamas at the crag wasnt much better.

In reply to panad: When at the crux of any route of any grade take a moment to hang and chalk up, once chalked up blow the excess chalk of with two audible blows and say "watch me, this is badass"

In reply to jim hughes: not strictly necessary to be at the crux of course . . .

In reply to Hat Dude:"If you wear the footloops on your Ron Hills in front of the ankle it gives several degrees of coolness"

POsition of ron hill footloops - behind,under,infront, cut off, dangling etc is the climbing equivalent to the gay back pocket handkerchief code.

In reply to Owen W-G:


With acknowledgements to the late Tom Patey I assume.

In reply to panad: Turn any route in to an alpine route by wearing, yes you have guessed it "BIG BOOTS".

In reply to jim hughes:

i wish i had the teenrat hyperdrives...i'd do anything to wear one of them at your local sandstone crag, that i'll be at tomorrow.

7a that

right, back to the topic.

can't believe knowbodies metioned how spoddy i've been looking with my chalk bag neatly tied on, when clearly i should be clipping it with a biner to my harness so it hangs out of reach, maybe even two krabs to really twist it up and make it tricky, arh...now that's rad!

In reply to panad: Every proper climber should be arme..sorry, equipped with a knife. I use a 6" shark knife which racks neatly next to my stripy troll chalk bag. I have also found those funny straps one finds on the back of a rucksack invaluable for attaching my water bottle.

A compete north face outfit should be enough

In reply to panad: cruising 7b+ (for the babes) whilst deploying my portaledge at the westway. Getting ready for my sponsored assault on El Cap.

In reply to panad: Uber cool...

A pair of gold/black zebra shorts, oversized pink chalkbag and white socks in retro climbing boots.

Cheers
LD

In reply to jim hughes:

Banana in any rear pocket though is most uncool.....

In reply to panad:

http://www.luumc.co.uk/messageboard/viewtopic.php?p=4257&highlight=#425...

Enough said.

In reply to Will Hunt:

Scary, but I have the orginal Pollitesque lycra which I think might be older than you

In reply to panad:

Not sure about looking cool but the current uniform seems to be:

Hooded down jacket in red blue or black, must have at least one square of silver duct-tape and a visible logo.
Wooly hat.
Pad.
Brush on a stick (branded brushes ideally).
Branded crag pants.
Chalk bucket.
>1 DSLR/4 members of your posse.
>1 taped finger.

I'm doing pretty good, I'm nearly there, I've been studying the herd and soon I'll blend in seamlessly.
jk

What about your rucksack to carry everything that wouldn't fit on your harness when you 'geared up' at the car park a half hour away??

Perhaps you can get an 80L Arcteryx, and drive over it a few times or drag it around on some tarmac, just to give it that 'suitably worn' look.

Then sew on some badges that you got whilst climbing in the most dangerous of montanes (because to call them montanes is much cooler) - pointing each badge out and in a loud voice, telling no-one in particular, how many times you nearly died rescuing small children and helpless animals.

But thats okay, because you don't mind.

In reply to panad:

Anything that makes you look like a climber is out! Typical example would be Black North Face Duvet Jacket - jeans and Five Ten Approach shoes.

better would be Jeans, Adidas Italia trainers, trackie top (no beanie) and your boots and chalk bag in a Selfridges carrier bag would be better.

The Ent

In reply to panad:

Got to be old school Ron Hills surely
Martin

(Ducks head and waits for flak)

In reply

Crag shouting!!
The coolest thing ever.
Increased level of conversation volume directed at entire crag population.

In reply to panad: Or just a good old pout wearing your favourite beanie. Now thats cool...

In reply to GCONNOR: Scabs look cool too, even round your mouth.

In reply to panad:

Buy one of these on ebay...

http://tinyurl.com/6d4hhe